They thought I wouldn't do this...hahaha...

How Will-kun and Matt Rescued
the Goddess from the Giant Evil Bee...

Every Sunday evening, my new group of friends gets together to play D&D. Yeah, they're mainly Will-kun's friends and their girlfriends, but I think I'm fitting in pretty well. It's lots of fun. I get to role-play my beloved Shinji-kun, only he's a kick-ass fighter, with two rapiers, beautiful wings, and a glowing green aura. Not bad, huh? Oh, and he's gay. The boys seem to find that funny. Anyway, on May 2nd, after an interesting game involving a random blow-job and the hiring of a little assistant named Kaworu, Will-kun and I decided to go to Matt's house to redo the crew roster. Matt's a wonderful sweetheart guy, cute and the best DM I've ever met. (Sorry, Will-kun, I haven't seen you DM yet.)

Anyway, we were sitting peacefully around Matt's kitchen table, with Will-kun and Matt going through the lists and me petting Matt's many cats. Suddenly, Will-kun jumped back and yelled an exclamation like, "What the hell is that?"

We all jumped back from the table, and saw this HUGE bee flying around the chandelier. Well, I'm afraid of bugs. I mean, deathly afraid. I proceeded to do the most noble thing I could think of: Yell, "Kill it!" and hide in the bathroom.

So there I sat, locked in the bathroom, quietly reading my new Poppy Z. Brite book, while Will-kun and Matt desperately tried to figure out what to do next. I suppose an afternoon of D&D had warped their brains, because they decided to attack and kill the giant, evil thing. I could hear them running around, searching for anything to take the creature out. There was a knock on the bathroom door, and I cracked it open. There stood Will-kun with a can of ultra-power outdoor insect killer, and Matt with the big fireplace tongs. They grinned at me, and I prayed for their hides and shut the door again.

What happened next was relayed to me later. According to the boys, they cornered the bee above the kitchen sink, and Will-kun sprayed at it until it fell. But the damn thing still wouldn't die! So Will-kun filled the sink with the noxious repellant until the creature finally drowned, curling up into a ball. They then shoved it down the garbage disposal and opened the windows to let the fumes out of the room.

I got the all-clear sign, and exited the bathroom. The boys were smiling proudly, waiting to be praised as my hero. Well, they were my heroes, so I hugged Will-kun happily and thanked them both. Matt, always the model D&D player, quickly looked up the experience points for killing the psychotic creature. It was worth 65 points, more than it would be to kill Will-kun, but less than killing Hastings (who's worth over 400 points, can you believe that?).

And so I promised them that, in return for saving me, I'd build them a Shrine of Honor. So, here it is. What do you think, boys?

Love, Akane


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