Sound bytes at the end of the experiment
HUNT FOR A DRAGONBALL -- Episode 30 (US dub)
Announcer: Previously on Dragonball Z: Krillain and the gang were mistaken for the henchmen of someone named "Frieza;" but a run-in with an asteroid field gave them the break they needed. Showing selfless sacrifice, Gohan and Krillain saved their captures from certain harm. And with the help of Bulma...
Crow: Bulma, who saved them from being pulverized in the asteroid field!
Announcer: ... the gang won over their captors and were set free. Meanwhile, trouble was brewing elsewhere as Vegeta returned to the planet named "Frieza," and was being nursed back to health.
Mike: Wait a minute. Is "Frieza" a planet, a guy, or just the place you store the day-old bread from Trader Joe's?
Tom: I've got some bath gel that has Freesia blossoms in it. Maybe that's what it is.
Crow: Tom, that is more about you than I ever wanted to know.
Announcer: With Bulma and the others reaching the next planet, it appeared that they had indeed landed on the elusive planet Namek, where they were awakened by what appeared to be two Nameks, named Radee and Zackrow. Together these aliens helped the group find two of the long awaited Dragonballs -- and the search continues!
Mike: Y'know, I find the number of qualifiers the announcer feels compelled to use oddly disturbing...
(Title Screen: HUNT FOR A DRAGONBALL)
(On Namek, the gang are chugging along in the put-put spaceship of Radee)
Gohan: We've got to find the rest of those Dragonballs!
Bulma: (looking at the dragon radar) Well, it looks like we've got a fix on one right now.
Mike: It's hand-held pong!
Bulma: Let's descend and take a look.
Radee: Okay! (The ship descends rapidly, with the gang screaming)
Bulma: I said "descend," not plummet!
(The Dragonball is lodged in a tree, but the wind from the "descending" craft blows it away. It lands at the feet of something big and orange; at first only one foot and a claw are shown)
Tom: Ben Grimm!
(Bulma and the gang disembark)
Bulma: It should be right here.
(Meanwhile, a large orange dinosaur-like creature has picked up the Dragonball and is thundering through the forest.)
Crow: Looks like Godzilla was heavily influenced by the Japanese punk rock movement.
(Bulma runs after it.)
Bulma: Hey, you; wait up!
(Panting, the boys run after the monster).
Bulma: You overgrown lizard! I told you to get back here! We need that!
Radee: (Throwing himself in front of her) Not a step further! We can't go near the swamp ahead!
Bulma: C'mon, he's getting away! (She tries to run past Radee, but he grabs her by the jersey and throws her to the ground.) Why are you stopping me? Let me go.
Tom: Bulma, are you feeling all right?
Mike: That was kinda low key for her.
Crow: Bulma, the guy tossed you in the dirt. Tell him off!
Radee: Danger lies ahead.
(Bulma watches the saurian disappear into the distance.)
"There's the Bulma we know and love!" |
Bulma: Great. So much for that. (She whirls on Radee and gets in his face.) Now listen here, green bean! I just know you're trying to get all of those Dragonballs for yourself!
Radee: (gasping) I am not!
(Mike and the 'Bots break into a cheer)
Crow: She's okay! She's gonna be okay!
Tom: There's the Bulma we know and love!
(The argument is cut short when a roar comes up from ahead)
Bulma: What was that? It sounded pretty bad.
(Radee snorts and turns back)
Bulma: What?
(Scene shows the craft put-putting along, with an edgy commentary from Radee)
Radee: I think it was heading this way, which means the Dragonball should be around this area. Keep your eyes peeled.
Bulma: (snort) Huh.
(They are traveling over a green forest that is interrupted by patches of an unknown orange/yellow liquid)
Crow: Looks like Godzilla had to go.
Gohan: Hey! What's that!
(Erupting out of one of the pool of liquid is the remains of the dinosaur. The gang sees that nothing is left but a large, bony skeleton)
Tom: Cher!
Crow: Quick, count the ribs!
(The gang gasps in horror.)
Radee: (smugly) The swamp floor is a natural acid. It will eat through virtually any type of matter.
Krillain: Wow, that poor monster! I've never seen anything like it! And since the monster's down there, so is the Dragonball.
Gohan: We've got to figure out a way to get down there.
Radee: It's impossible.
Tom: (not singing; normal speech)...to tell the sun to leave the sky,
it's just impossible.
Crow: Is it possible to ask a baby not to cry?
Tom: No, it's just impossible.
(The others stare at Radee.)
Bulma: Are you sure?
Crow: Yes! No! Maybe...
Radee: Well, there is a geranium suit, but I just don't know. After about ten seconds, it will probably melt in the swamp. Plus we don't have anyone who can fit in the tiny thing.
Mike: Your rhododendron suit, on the other hand, will last through anything.
(After a moment...)
Gohan: (grimly) I'll wear the suit.
Others: Hmmmmmm?
Gohan: We've got to get all the Dragonballs so Piccolo can come back!
Bulma: But, Gohan...
Gohan: I know I can do it, guys! I just have to be out of the swamp within 10 seconds.
Radee: I've got it! We can tie a geranium rope around his waist so we can yank him out before the ten seconds are over!
Mike: No, no, in a situation like this you want to go with your watermelon vine.
Tom: Strawberry runners, Mike. If it's shady enough.
(Everyone looks at Bulma)
"So Gohan's the eggman?" |
Bulma: Chi-chi is going to kill me for this...
Crow: Naw, she'll just faint, then she'll knit something, then she'll be fine!
(The craft hovers close to the surface of the swamp. On a platform beneath the craft, the gang are gathered for Gohan's dive. Gohan is wearing a large, ovoid suit).
Mike: So, Gohan's the eggman?
Crow: Goo goo g'joob, Mike.
Bulma: Gohan, the radar shows the Dragonball directly below. Best of luck.
Mike: ...but should you be captured or killed, the ambassador will deny any knowledge of your actions.
(Gohan dives into the acid as Bulma counts off the second. Gohan sees the Dragonball, but Radee panics and tries to pull him back up. The geranium rope breaks.)
Tom: Should've used the strawberry runners!
(As the others yell for Gohan to come out, Gohan picks up the Dragonball. He pulls on the rope, but finds the frayed end. He looks to the distant surface and starts kicking up, but the acid begins eating away at the suit. Turning, he aims his hands at the bottom of the acid lake and fires an energy blast that propels him up. Breaking through the surface of the water, he hovers above the acid and giggles, showing off the Dragonball.)
Mike: Right, I can fly! Always forget about that...
Gohan: I'm back!
(Bulma grabs Krillain and hugs him round the head.)
Krillain: (looking sheepish) Ow, my cheekbone...
Tom: The closest thing to an erotic experience you'll ever have in your life and that's all you can say? Loser!
(The camera pans over a desert-like wasteland. Bulma's voice is heard.)
Bulma: (singing tunelessly) Dragonballs! Gotta find them Dragonballs! C'mon, everyone, that's right! Dragonballs, yeah! Didn't know what to do so we went out to buy a car...
(The group is marching along, with Bulma striding confidently in front singing, followed in single file by Krillain, Gohan and Radee. Krillain looks pained).
Crow: Look, it's the New Monkees.
Tom: That explains the singing.
"She has all the coolest pong accessories..." |
Krillain: Whatever I did to deserve this, I'm sorry. Wonder if she'd lend me some dino-caps for earplugs...
Bulma: I just got a read on the Dragonball, but it looks like it's moving around like crazy.
(The others race up to stare at the dragon radar.)
Mike: She has all the coolest pong accessories...
Radee: It sure is moving around. I wonder why that is.
(Sound of wind blowing. Everyone looks around.)
Bulma: A twister!
Mike: Taz is out for his morning constitutional.
(In the distance, a narrow tornado is heading for them. Bulma looks at the radar and realizes--)
Bulma: C'mon, you guys! The Dragonball is inside the tornado!
(A spark of light is seen in the tornado's center)
Bulma: There it is! (She starts pushing Krillain toward the tornado; Krillain is making little squeaks of protest and waving his arms). C'mon, Krillain, we have to get that Dragonball!
Mike: (Jerry Lewis voice) No, Mrs. Lady, don't touch me!
Krillain: Forget that! We can get it after the tornado dies!
Radee: Here, it won't ever stop. Just like the eye in Jupiter, it stays active.
Mike: Is that really possible?
Tom: Anything's possible with cartoon physics, Mike. (Suddenly leaning toward Mike and speaking across him to Crow, heavily sarcastic--) Oh, excuse me; anime physics.
Crow: (quietly) You can be so cruel sometimes...
Bulma: You hear that, you wimp? We've got to get the Dragonball now! (She and Radee turn, sprint away from the twister, and hide behind a rock. She waves frantically at Krillain and Gohan, who haven't moved.) Well, what are you waiting for? Go get it!
Krillain: Easy, Bulma! (Clenches a fist). Alright, Gohan, ready to face this thing?
Gohan: Yeah!
Krillain: Let's do it!
Tom: (singing) Let's fall in love! (trailing off) Birds do it, bees do it...
(Krillain and Gohan hold their ground as the twister gets closer)
Krillain: (flinging one hand up into the air) Destructo-disk...now! (Energy crackles around his hand)
Gohan: Kame-ha...
Bulma: (waving frantically from behind her rock) No, you can't do that, you might destroy the Dragonball!
Krillain: (resigned) She gives me a headache.
Tom: Might explain why you're the only guy on the planet who can't get to first base with her...
(Gohan and Krillain break and run as the twister gets closer to them. Bulma goes ballistic.)
Bulma: Where are you guys going? Get back there and get that Dragonball! (The twister closes on her position; Bulma panics). No, don't come here, follow those guys! (She and Radee sprint off, followed closely by the twister)
"That's what was missing in
Twister: The Movie!" |
Krillain: It's after them!
Bulma: (rapidly, as she's sprinting) happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts...
Tom: (in the tone of someone who has thought long and hard about something and just came up with the answer) A positive attitude! That's what was missing in Twister: The Movie!
Gohan: That's it! (He races toward the twister, determined, then takes off and flies. Reaching the top of the funnel, he dives in. The winds and debris buffet him, but he catches sight of the Dragonball. He reaches for it, but the twister spins him around just above it.) Whoa...ah...whoa...!
Mike: Must...get...brass...ring...
Crow: Y'know, I'm not sure the decision to turn the tea cups into a thrill ride was the right one.
Gohan: (grabbing the Dragonball) Gotcha! (He tucks the Dragonball away, then raises his hands.) Kame-me-HA! (The energy blast implodes the tornado; Gohan is flung out and lands hard at Krillain's and Bulma's feet).
Krillain: Gohan!
Bulma: Are you all right?
Gohan: (wincing, then smiling) I got it.
Krillain: Good job!
(Bulma picks Gohan up and throws him into the air; Gohan giggles)
Tom and Mike: (mimicking Radee and Krillain) Fly me next! Me! Me next!
"Why, the new paint job brightens
Jabba's palace right up!" |
(Meanwhile, on the dark planet of Frieza...)
Crow: Why, the new paint job brightens Jabba's palace right up!
(...Vegeta is still in the healing pod. A computer voice speaks)
Computer: (efficient female voice) Condition stabilized. Saiyan constitution level increased to level 2-point-1-8. Increase nutrients in underwater environment. Control subject recovery at rapid rate.
Mike: Vegeta got the extra-deluxe package at the spa.
(The camera pans around toward Vegeta's back.)
Mike: Oh, I don't think I want to see this...
Tom: Oh, no, no...
(Camera pauses on Vegeta's back)
Crow: Look, he's wearing his B.B.D.'s!
ALL: Whew!
(Close-up of Vegeta's face, which shows some slight movement, then of a twitching bicep.)
Tom: "Hi, I'm Vegeta, Prince of the Saiyans. And whenever I'm stuck in a rejuvenation tank, I make sure I'm wearing my Hanes!"
Computer: Page code blue, 2-5-7-4. Doctors and technicians return to stations. Subject showing signs of motility.
(Switch to the hospital on Earth. Inside a darkened corridor, footsteps are heard. A glimpse is caught of a figure in a doctor's coat skulking about. A yawning nurse walks by but doesn't see the figure; the figure sighs in relief).
(The scene switches suddenly to Namek, where Bulma is again checking the dragon radar. Mike and the 'Bots jump.)
ALL: AHHHH!
Crow: Well, that was meaningless...
Bulma: Let's hope getting the next Dragonball's a little easier. The radar shows it's somewhere in that forest.
(Shot of a distant, green forest surrounding a huge, fog-enshrouded, narrow plateau.)
(The gang are walking through the dense, dark foliage. The trees are twisted into fantastic shapes. Radee has been mysteriously replaced by Zackrow, which no one in the anime comments on.)
Krillain: Remember, you promised not to sing anymore.
Bulma: Fine! As long as you promise not to speak.
Gohan: This place is spooky.
Bulma: It's so dark, it's hard to see anything around here.
Mike: Well, there's Snow White running by.
Tom: Frodo and Sam should be around here someplace, too.
Krillain: Why don't I just make us a little torch?
(He turns off the path and pulls a branch off a tree. There is a roaring and a rustling. The gang look around, wondering.)
Bulma: (nervously) Wow. I wonder what that could be?
Crow: Old Man Willow is not happy!
Krillain: Let's keep our eyes peeled.
(Krillain, having lit the branch, leads the way. Everyone is nervously looking around. There's another strange noise. Bulma shrieks and grabs Krillain; the torch goes flying. It burns in the tall grass-like surroundings.)
Zackrow: That one sounded angry.
Tom: Hey, that's the other one -- Jethrow, or whatever.
Crow: Zackrow.
Mike: Where did Radee go?
Crow: He's a doctor. Maybe he was on call.
(Bulma and Krillain huddle together, whimpering. Suddenly the area around them heaves. Green wings stretch to the sky. Everyone screams...including the tree "trunk," which now has a beak. The giant condor-like bird takes to the sky. Behind it, other birds are breaking out of the forest with eerie-sounding cries. They flap toward the plateau.)
Mike: Whaddya think; Freudian, Jungian?
Tom: Oh, we are waaay beyond either. I think we've landed squarely in Lovecraft territory here.
Crow: Roger Tory Peterson...the real story
(On the bird's back, Bulma loses her grip and starts to flail. Krillain pulls her to safety, and chuckles. As the birds clear the fog and reach the top of the plateau, the gang sees...)
Bulma: Look, we're heading up there!
Gohan: To that huge castle!
Mike: Gohan, you've just survived a dunk in acid, destroyed a tornado and been kidnapped by huge birds. What are you going to do next!
Tom: I'm going to Disneyland!
"I've been infested by humans!" |
(The bird suddenly notices it has passengers, and begins to try and shake them off.)
Crow: Eeeew, gross! I've been infested by humans! Get them off, get them off!
(One of the other birds flies close and snaps at them. Several other birds close in and do the same.)
(With each strike)
Mike: I've got them!
Tom: No, I've got them!
Krillain: We've got to jump or we'll be eaten!
Gohan: I know, but where are we going to land?
Bulma: Are you nuts? I am not jumping!
Zackrow: If we push off, we can make it to the castle.
Mike: Can't some of these guys fly?
Crow: Yes.
Mike: Because it seems like they keep forgetting that.
(Bulma looks at the castle far below her, then up at the birds.)
Bulma: (crossly) All right, I'll jump! But if I crash and die, I'm going to be very, very upset!
(The four leap off, and assume spread-eagle positions as they are falling. Gohan is laughing; the rest are looking mildly concerned.)
(Scene change, to what looks like the American south-west. Goku is on a plateau looking over the desert. He is still wearing the doctor's coat and is heavily bandaged, but his fighting clothes and his boots are in a neat pile at his feet.)
Goku: I'll be glad to get rid of these things.
(He unwraps the bandages, letting them off the plateau.)
Tom: Litterbug!
(In his uniform, Goku strikes a fighting pose.)
Goku: I think it's about time I got out of this place!
Mike: But you just got there!
(Goku pushes off and flies away.)
(Back at the castle, the four are standing by a huge green door, looking in a window.)
Mike: Wait a minute, weren't they falling to their doom just a minute ago? How did they get down?
Crow: We just got done establishing that some of them can fly, Mike.
Mike: But off-screen? You can do a cool thing like fly, and you do it off-screen? What's the point of that?!
Tom: Mike, calm down. Just watch the movie.
(A repetitive noise mixed with heavy breathing is heard. The camera pans over Gohan, Krillain, and Zackrow, all of whom are looking in awe at something.)
Zackrow: Hmmmm....hmmmm
(Panning down, the camera shows the back of a huge, blue, bald head and a glimpse of a pierced ear. Starting at the feet, it slowly pans up legs incased in baggy blue garments, a waist with a sash, and a naked male torso. Over the horned head, a snake peeks. It crawls over the sleeping face of the giant.)
Tom: Excuse me, is Natasha Kinski around here? Oh, you're sleeping. Sorry!
Mike: Nice to see Satan got another gig after that whole garden of Eden thing fell through.
(The snake slithers off. Bulma, who has yet to look in the room, checks the dragon radar.)
Bulma: Hey, guys. Looks like the Dragonball's right around here. (She sees the giant and freaks, screaming. Krillain and Gohan put their hands over her mouth.)
Krillain and Gohan: Shhhhhh!
(But the giant sleeps on. Climbing in, the group heads for a shelf that has books, a model biplane and a model car on it.)
Bulma: The Dragonball is supposed to someplace right around here...
(Standing on the headboard of the bed, she looks down at the sleeping giant. Krillain searches the shelf; Gohan searches a desktop that has pencils taller than he is.)
Gohan: Find anything, Krillain?
Krillain: No, nothing here. Any luck, Zackrow?
Zackrow: (Who is checking out the books) No, nothing here.
Mike: Look, the giant's got the Neconomicon.
Crow: And the Books of Magic.
Tom: And there's the Darkhold.
Mike: And the complete works of Laura Ingalls Wilder... Wait a sec...!
(Bulma taps a finger against her arm, then hops down onto the giant's pillow. She stands looking into the giant's face.)
Bulma: It's got to be around here somewhere...
"Lady, calm down,
I ate just three months ago." |
(Over the giant's ear, the snake pokes its head up. Bulma starts to scream, then puts her hands over her mouth. The snake takes a good look at her and slithers off.)
Tom: Lady, calm down, I ate just three months ago. Geez, I'm outta here.
(The giant snorts in his sleep; Bulma tries to hide under the pillow.)
Bulma: Think tired...sleeptime!
(The giant turns over, and Bulma gets a good look at his earring.)
Bulma: Hey, there it is!
(Everyone converges on the bed. The boys and Zackrow start pulling on the earring. They put all of their weight into it, gritting their teeth and making "we're pulling hard" noises. The Dragonball finally pops out of the earring. Bulma spreads her arms out to the side as the boys go sprawling.)
Bulma: Safe!
Mike: But the umpire calls him out! There's a scuffle at home plate...and the benches clear!
(Krillain, with a relieved Gohan on top of him, sighs.)
Crow: Basking in the afterglow...
Krillain: C'mon, guys, let's get out of here.
(But they've waited too long. One purple eye opens and fixes on them.)
(Back on Earth, Chi-chi is not happy)
Chi-chi: Just great. First my son, now my husband.
Crow: Next it'll be something important, like my knitting needles.
(Chi-chi is sitting by Goku's empty hospital bed, with Master Roshi sitting next to her and the Ox King standing over them.)
Roshi: Please don't take it too bad, Chi-chi. I'm sure he had a good reason to leave.
Chi-chi: A good reason to leave?! Yeah, right! Those two running off at the first sign of adventure, leaving the rest of us behind to worry about them!
Roshi: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now hold your horses. We both know those two can take care of themselves.
Chi-chi: Are you out of your mind? Goku forgot to even pack a sweater! (She picks up the sweater she's been knitting for the last several episodes and starts pulling it out of shape.) Oh, I could just strangle him with it!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Tom: Looks like Chi-Chi and Bulma are on the same cycle this month.
(Back on Namek, Bulma has made it to the biplane and is trying to figure out how to make it fly.)
Giant: Someone's ready to have a late lunch.
Krillain: (screams) Bulma, I don't mean to rush you or anything, but there's this...
Bulma: Will you just be quiet! I'm doing this as fast as I can!
Mike: You gotta admire her. She's not just read "Co-Dependent No More," she's really internalized it.
Tom: Yep, she lives the dream.
(Snarling, the giant comes toward them.)
Krillain: Maybe we should have just taken the stairs.
Bulma: Instead of whining so much, why don't you try doing something useful!
Krillain: All right, Bulma; fine. You ready, Gohan?
Giant: Fe, fie, fo, fum, gonna get a yum-yum!
(Krillain and Gohan fly towards the giant's head, dodging his outstretched hand. They kick him in the face, but the giant just flings them across the room.)
Bulma: (looking at the cockpit controls) Now if I just push the right lever to the left and the red button on the right...
Tom: Really complicated expresso machine she's got there.
Bulma: Oh, I've had it with this thing! (She hits the control panel with her fists. The plane's propeller starts to spin.) I'm brilliant!
Krillain: Destructo-disk--haiiii!
Gohan: Kame-hame-ha!
(The combination of the two power blows tears the giant's shoulder off and takes a big chunk out of its middle. Gray stone-like pieces of giant fly through the air. The giant pauses.)
Krillain and Gohan: Way to go!
Tom: Oh, it's a stone giant.
Crow: No, I don't have my Gem Stone III crib sheet! Quick, what are they, level 20?
Tom: No, higher. Level 26 at least. Y'know, they're immune to mind jolt spells...
(The giant keeps coming. After regrouping for a second, the two attack again, this time blowing off a hand.)
Tom: Jolts of massive energy, however, appear to do serious damage.
Crow: I'll make a note...
Mike: I think I just figured out who's been getting into my Magic: the Gathering cards.
Tom and Crow: It's Gypsy!
(The giant's other hand is about to close on Krillain and Gohan when Bulma swoops in the biplane and rescues them.)
Krillain: Yay, we made it!
Bulma: (coldly) Maybe you'd like to apologize for your earlier comments? I always have to save the day. You're lucky to have me. Yes, sirree, just call me Ms. Bail-the-boys-out. (All she gets from Krillain is a blink as the plane flies off into the sunset.)
Tom: Y'know, I've heard what the fleet calls her, and that isn't it!
Mike: Oh, now, be nice...
(On Earth, Goku is jumping from mountain to mountain top, testing himself. He takes off, flying through the landscape.)
Goku: Boy, it feels good to have the wind in my hair again! Ahhh!
(Scene switches suddenly to Frieza's planet. A number of entities are gathered around the regeneration tank.)
Crow: Mike, is that the blood of revenge?
Mike: What? What kind of question is that?
Doctor: I believe he may be ready. But it's important that we keep emergency equipment on standby, just in case.
Crow: Vegeta said he was going to be healed in the blood of revenge, and I was wondering if that was it.
Bystander: He looks strong!
Mike: (doubtfully) Well, it's the wrong color for blood. Unless it's been purified or something.
Tom: I think it's probably Crystal Lite.
(The colors in the tank change from blue to pink.)
Mike: No, wait, it's getting a bit of a blood tinge now...
Doctor: Draining.
Tom: That's what I'd call this whole episode.
(As the water drains, Vegeta shakes the mask off his face.)
Doctor: You are healed, warrior. You can rise.
(After a minute, Vegeta slowly stands up. He flexes his arms carefully, then smirks as the camera swings in for a close-up.)
Announcer: Icy pitfalls await the gang on the next Dragonball Z, as they fall into treacherous schemes. Next time on Dragonball Z!
(FUNimation logo comes up. Credits start rolling as Mike and the 'Bots exit)
Folks have found 
Dragonballs here since 10/15/98!
