Disintagration*

"I think it's dark and it looks like rain" you said
"and the wind is blowing like it's the end of the
world" you said "and it's so cold it's like the
cold if you were dead" and then you smiled for a second

"I think I'm old and I'm feeling pain" you said
"and it's all running out like it's the end of the
world" you said "and it's so cold like the
cold if you were dead" and then you smiled for
a second

Sometimes you make me feel like I'm living at
the edge of the world like I'm living at the edge
of the world "It's just the way I smile" you said

I'm so glad you came
I'm so glad you remembered
To see how we're ending our last dance together
Expectant, too punctual, but prettier than ever
I really believe that this time it's forever

But older than me now
more constant, more real
And the fur, and the mouth,
and the innocence turned
To hair and contentment that hangs in abasement
A woman now standing where once
there was only a girl

I'm so glad you came
I'm so glad you remembered
The walking through walls in the heart of December
The blindness of happiness of falling down laughing
And I really believed that this time was forever

But Christmas falls late now
Flatter and colder
And never as bright as when we used to fall
All this in an instant
Before I can kiss you
A woman now standing where once
there was only a girl

I'm so glad you came
I'm so glad you remembered
To see how we're ending our last dance together
Reluctantly, cautiously,
but prettier than ever
I really believe that this time it's forever

But Christmas falls late now
Flatter and colder
And nenver as bright as when we used to fall
And even if we drink
I don't think we would kiss
In the way that we did
When the woman
was only a girl

On candystripe legs the spiderman comes
Softly through the shadow of the evening sun
Stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead
Looking for the victim shivering in bed
Searching out fear in the gathering gloom
and suddenly !
A movement in the corner of the room !
And there is nothing I can do when I realize with fright
That the spiderman is having me for dinner tonight !

Quietly he laughs shaking his head
Creeps closer now closer to the foot of the bed
Now softer than shadows and quicker than flies
His arms are around me and his tongue in my eyes
"Be still, be calm, be quiet now, my precious boy...
Don't struggle like that or I will only love you more...
But it's much too late to get away or turn on the light...
The spiderman is having oyu for dinner tonight !"

And I feel like I'm being eaten by a thousand million shivering furry holes
And I know that in the morning I'll wake up in the shivering cold
The spiderman is always hungry...

Oh it's openeing time down on fascination street
So let's cut the conversation and get out for a bit
Because I feel it all fading and pailing and I'm begging to drag you down with me
To kick the last nail in
Yeah I like you in that, like I like you to scream
But if you open your mouth I can't be responsible for quite what goes in
Or to care what comes out
So just pull on your hair, just pull on your pout and let's move to the beat like we know that it's over
If you slip going under, slip over my shoulder
So just pull on your face, just pull on your feet
And let's hit opening time down on fascination street

So pull on you hair, pull on your pout
Cut the conversation just open your mouth
Pull on your face, pull on your feet
And let's hit opening time
down on fascination street

You shatter me your grip on me
A hold on me so dull it kills
You stifle me infectious sense of hopelessness
And prayers for rain
I suffocate
I breathe in dirt
And nowhere shines but desolate
And drab the hours all spent on killing time again
All waiting for the rain

You fracture me your hands on me
A touch so plain so stale it kills
You strangle me entangle me in hopelessness
An dprayers for rain
I deteriorate
I live in dirt
And nowhere glows but drearily
And tired the hours all spent on killing time again
All waiting for the rain

Kiss me goodbye
pushing out before I sleep
Can't you see I try
Swimming the same deep water as you is ahrd
"The shallow drowned lose less than we" you breathe
The strangest twist upon your lips "and we shall be together..."

"Kiss me goodbye, bow your head and join with me"
And face pushed deep reflections meet
The strangest twist upon your lips
And dissappear the ripples clear and laughing break the mirror sweet
"So we shall be together..."

"Kiss me goodbye"
Pushing out before I sleep
It's lower now and slower now
The strangest twist upon your lips
But I don't see and I don't feel
But tightly hold up silently my hands before my fading eyes
And in my eyes you smile
The very last thing before I go...

I will kiss you
I will kiss you
I will kiss you forever on nights like this
I will kiss you
I will kiss you
And we shall be together...

Disintegration

Oh I miss the kiss of treachery
The shameless kiss of vanity
The soft the black and the velvety
Tight up against the side of me
And mouth and eyes and heart all bleed
And run in thickening strems of greed
As bit by bit it starts the need
To just let go my party piece

Oh I miss the kiss of treachery
The aching kiss before I feed
The stench of a love for a younger meat
And the sound it makes when it cuts in deep
The holding up on bended knees
The addiction of duplicities
As bit by bit it starts the need
To just let go my party piece

But I never said I would stay to the end
So I leave you with babies and hoping for frequency
Screaming like this in the hope of the secrecy
Screaming me over and over and over
I leave you with photographs
Pictures of trickery
Stains on the carpet
Stains on the scenery
Songs about happiness
Murmured in dreams
When we both of us knew how the ending would be

So it's all come back 'round to breaking apart again
Breaking apart like I'm made out of glass again
Making it up behind my back again
Cut in deep to the heart of the bone again
Round and round and round it's coming apart again
Over and over and over

Now that I know that I'm breaking to pieces
I'll pull out my heart and I'll feed it to anyone
Crying for sympathy
Crocidiles cry for the love of the crowd
And the three cheers from everyone
Dropping through sky through the glass of the roof
Throught the roof of your mouth
Through the mouth of your eye
Through the eye of the needle
It's easier for me to get closer to heaven
Than ever feel whole again

I never said I would stay to the end
So I leave you with babies and everything
Screaming like this in the hole of sincerity
Screaming me over and over and over
I leave you with photographs
Pictures of trickery
Stains on the carpet
And stains on the memory
Songs about happiness
Murmured in dreams
When we both of us knew how the ending always is...

How the end always is...

Hey hey !
Just one more and I'll walk away
All the everything you win
Turns to nothing today
And I forget how to move when my mouth is this dry
And my eyes are bursting hearts in a blood-stained sky
Oh it was sweet
It was wild and oh how we...
I trembled stuck in honey
Honey cling to me
So just one more
Just one more go
Inspire me the desire in me
To never go home

Oh just one more and I'll walk away
All the everything you win
Turns to nothing today
So just one more
Just one more go
Inspire me the desire in me
To never go home