SOFTWARES

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and 
found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources 
available for other applications.
 
He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which 
are further consuming valuable resources.
 
No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product 
brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that 
this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
 
Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched 
at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system 
activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, 
BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system 
at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they 
always worked fine before).
 
During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation 
of undesired Plug-Ins such as Mother-In-Law 55.8 and Brother-In-Law Beta 
release.
 
Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
 
Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0:
 
 - - - A "Don't remind me again" button
 - - - A Minimize button
 - - - An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with 
the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other 
system resources.
 - - - An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode, which 
would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
 
I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by 
sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.
 
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. 
You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long 
standing bug that I should have known about.
 
Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of 
the I/O port. You'd think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by 
now.
 
To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't 
work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the 
system.
 
Another thing  -- all versions of Girlfriend continually pop up little 
annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
 
                   ********  BUG WARNINGS  ********
 
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 
before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before 
doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, 
claiming insufficient resources.
 
                 ********* BUG WORK-AROUNDS *********
 
To avoid this bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and 
never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0.
 
Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to 
carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.