A sleeping Ranma-chan, wearing only a skimpy harem-girl's outfit
(practically a string bikini), was curled up in the arms of a delicately
built girl with a light complexion and long, luxurious, black hair wearing
an equally-revealing suit.  The girl was sitting up on the edge of a couch,
running her fingers through Ranma's fiery-red hair and, ocassionally, across
her smooth, supple lips.  The girl sighed.  "She's so CUTE," she said with
more sincerity than she'd ever put into anything--in fact, Ranma was the
most ravishing creature she'd ever seen in her life.

	She glanced up at Salon, who was standing a few feet away with her arms
crossed and a mouth curved in a satisfying smile.  The girl turned back to
the woman in her arms and sighed dreamily as Ranma lightly moaned and
shifted more snuggly against her, wrapping an arm lazily about her neck.
The girl giggled, "And she's SO attractive when she sleeps!"

	A bit of drool seeped from the side of Ranma's mouth as she slowly slid her
hand down her figure toward her thighs; the girl drooled as well as  she
took in the sight. (CHEF'S VOICE: OH MY GOD!)  She leaned her head forward
to give the sleeping beauty an awakening, and was surprised when the redhead
reached out with her tongue and licked her on the lips. (CHEF'S NOTE: SHIT,
RANCHAN!  Wake the hell up!)

	"Huh?"  Ranma blinked her eyes open into a blur of color.  She focussed on
the head of dark hair and the warm smile and smiled back.

	"Waaaaaa!"  She tried to jump away, but the scantly-clad girl held her tighter.

	The girl pleaded, "I'm sorry!  I didn't mean to frighten you!"

	Ranma continued to struggle.  "Lemme go!  What're ya doin?"  She
immediately stopped squirming when she realized two things: not only was HE
in GIRL form, but he/she was wearing something much more revealing than her
Chinese outfit.  She threw her arms across her breasts, suddenly feeling
violated.  "What's goin on?"

	The girl looked worried, but Salon had expected this reaction.  The
witchwoman put her face uncomfortably close to Ranma's and hissed, "You are
in the eastern living quarters of Emperor Xi Fang's personal harem, and from
this point on, you belong to the harem."

	Ranma slapped aside the girls arms and snapped, "Hey!  I'm a guy!  There
ain't NO WAY I'm joinin a stupid harem!"  Salon drew back, a bit stunned;
she'd anticipated a protest but not claim to manhood.  All of the other
girls in the room turned to stare at the commotion.  The girl looked hurt,
as well as confused, when Ranma jumped up and snarled in disgust, "I'm
gettin outa here."

	Salon grabbed Ranma by the arm (after a quick battle of chestnut fists) and
tossed her back into the harem girl's lap.  The girl exhaled a great deal of
air on impact but was otherwise overjoyed to have her 'cutie' back; she
threw one arm firmly around Ranma's waist and another over her chest.

	Salon spat, "Do you really think you can distract me with such a weak ploy?
What do you take me for?" (OLD VOICE: Kodachi?)

	The girl restraining Ranma (well, sot of) whispered, "I don't know what
you're talking about, Cutie.  I dressed you myself and I can guarantee that
you're all woman."  Ranma suddenly went rigid in embarrassment.  The girl
took the advantage and pulled her closer.

	Salon pointed a demanding finger an Ranma (NOTE: And don't you DARE say it
old man!) (OLD VOICE: Aw, c'mon.  Pleeeeaaase.).  "You had better behave
yourself and do as you're told or..."  From out of nowhere, she pulled out
the small, wooden efigy of the phoenix.  "...you're little friend won't live
to see another sunrise."

	Both Ranma and the girl blinked in confusion.  Ranma shrugged her shoulders
as best she could.  "Uh, that's Ok.  It kinda gives me the creeps anyway."

	The girl looked at it critically.  "That thing's alive?"

	Salon slapped her head into her palm.  "No, you fools.  The person who was
last carrying it."

	Ranma thought about it, then looked terrified.  "Miko?"

	Salon resumed her usual dominant, sly pose and smiled.  "And unless you do
everything I say, I will personally kill her."  Ranma gulped as the
witchwoman walked off.

	The girl hugged Ranma lovingly.  "Don't worry.  Being in the harem isn't
that bad.  You'll eventually learn to like it."  Ranma groaned, and actual
steam could be seen rising from her forehead.  The girl spoke more softly,
trying to calm her cutie down: "I can understand if you're not into men;
I've got friends who can cover for you if you want."  Ranma gasped.  The
girl whispered directly into Ranma's ear, "It's supposed to be a secret, but
if you're not recieving enough of the right attention, some of the girls
ocassionally get together at dawn in the western wing and..."  She cupped
her hands around Ranma's ears and lowered her voice even more.  Ranma
stiffened, facefaulted, then fell sideways in shock.  The girl looked down
and blinked a few times.  "Cutie?  Are you alright?"

		

	The two masked guards waiting outside opened the doors to the 'recreation
room' as if they expected someone important to come out--which someone did.
(They needed to develop a sixth sense for that sort of thing since guards
were never posted inside the room.) Salon strolled through the doorway
carrying the ugly, little phoenix statue triumphantly in front of her,
beaming with joy at the fact that she had a powerful item in her possession
(and was brandishing it haphazardly).  She laughed at the gullibility and
stupidity of Miko's 'guardian'.  _She should cause plenty of trouble for
'His Highness'._  She hummed a happy tune as she walked to the end of the
hall, made a left, and disappeared from sight.

	When Salon's footsteps had faded completely, a red-and-black blur whirled
past the guards, and before they knew what happened, they fell to the
ground, bound and gagged, in cacoons of rope and thread.  Miko crouched in
front of the guards and checked their bindings, then glanced over her
shoulder and snorted, "'Won't see another day' indeed."

		

	"Wait, Cutie!"

	"Leave me alone!  I gotta think of a way to get outa here!"  Ranma stormed
out of the eastern wing and into an enormous room with a large, rectangular
pool and dozens of couches.  All of the girls occupying the couches turned
to Ranma as if she were about to commit a heinous crime.  Ranma snapped,
"What're you all lookin at?"

	"Pssst."

	"Huh?"  Ranma stopped in mid-step and looked around.

	A familiar voice whispered, "Over here, Guardian Spirit."

	Ranma noticed that one of the double doors to her left was slightly
cracked.  She inaudibly muttered "Miko?" and strode to within a couple of
yards from the door.  He could see Miko's red hair and sparkling blue eyes
through the crack, and she almost cried her name out, but Miko told her to
keep her voice down.

	Ranma turned her back to the door and whispered over her shoulder, "So
where'd you come from?--not that I'm complainin or nothin."  She smiled at
the staring harem girls and they turned away one-by-one.

	"I'll tell you later.  I'm here to rescue you?"

	Ranma's face brightened.  "Hey, great!  So when we leavin?"

	Miko sighed, "Not just yet."  Ranma looked startled.  "I have to do
something first.  You're just going to have to stay here until I get back."
Ranma looked ill.

	"Cutie!"  The black-haired concubine dashed out of the eastern wing and
headed straight for Ranma.  "I'm sorry Cutie!  I know your under a lot of
stress."

	The girl reached Ranma, who seemed dizzy, and took her arm to hold her up.
"Cutie, are you alright?  Is something wrong?"  When Ranma seemed unwilling
or unable to respond, the girl suggested, "Maybe you'll feel better if you
eat something."

	Ranma perked up at the mention of food.  Not only did she enjoy eating, but
she could use anything to stall for time (and keep her away from her
*shiver* harem duties).

	The girl looked pleased with her new friend's response.  She bowed
slightly.  "My name's Komiki."

	"Ranma."

	Komiki pulled Ranma by the hand.  "Follow me."

		

	Miko followed the route of long corridors, attempting to trace the path
Salon took.  She quickly tied up the guards she met along the way to clear
the hall for her return.  Luckily, as late as it was, most of the sentries
were less attentive as the need for sleep kicked in.

	She kept a steady pace, ocassionally having to backtrack when she thought
she was going the wrong way.  The joints in her knees, back, and left
shoulder crackled and popped from time to time, but she held herself boldly
nonetheless--at least the cuts and bruises on her hand were gone and her
ribcage was in one piece again (so why complain--it could be worse).

	She was starting to tire and would need to rest for a short while, but at
least she had finally found the witchwoman.  Miko sat on the floor against a
wall around a corner where she wouldn't be seen and watched her target.

		

	Salon stood in the middle of the large antechamber facing the main doors to
the palace, her arms folded, weight ocassionally shifting from one foot to
the other; it seemed she was waiting for someone, and she looked a little
impatient.

	In a short while, a pair of guards outside opened the doors to admit two
figures walking closely, side-by-side: Lon and Liu-Sing.  Salon was a bit
puzzled as to why Lon was wearing a ragged strip of cloth over his mouth and
nose instead of his mask.  The robed giant seemed to be leaning on the
colorful clown for support, and the clown seemed persistant to hold his
friend up.  Lon looked dazed.

	Salon spat, "It's about time you two showed up.  What happened?"

	Liu-Sing led Lon to a couch against the wall and strained to set him down.
"Lon is having a rather bad day.  He drank himself into a depression again."

	The big man sighed and slumped his shoulders.  Salon looked mildly
concerned; she rested a hand on his shoulder and soothed, "You have got to
stop doing this to yourself, Lon.  I won't be able to cover for you very
much longer."

	Lon glanced at her and patted her hand.  "I know.  Thank you."  He returned
to sulking over something.

	Salon became coldly serious again.  She faced Liu-Sing and stated, "We need
to talk..."  She glanced at Lon, who took no notice.  "In private."

	Liu-Sing nodded and they both left through a portal next to Lon's couch.
Miko cursed--she'd have to find another way around.

	She got up and started to backtrack the hallways, but then she heard a
voice inside her head: "Follow them through the portal.  I will keep the
giant from seeing you."

	Miko looked worried and whispered, "But won't you be taking a big risk?"

	"I'll worry about that.  Now, go quickly."

	Miko shrugged and ran past Lon and into the hallway; he didn't even twitch
at her presence.

		

	All the girls around the table watched in shock as Ranma ravenously
vanquished her second bowl of steamed rice--all the girls, that is, except
for Komiki, who actually found it attractive.

	The girl to Komiki's right muttered, "She's GORGEOUS, but she eat's like
she's pregnant."

	Komiki sighed dreamily, "She's so... animalistic." (CHEF'S NOTE: Oh my god,
Ranchan, they're sizing you up.) (CUTE VOICE: Run, Dear Husband!  Run while
you still can!)

	Murmurs started passing across the table: "How can she eat like that
without getting fat?" "Her stomach is so flat." "Her body looks so
well-built." "How does she manage to keep herself so shapely?" "Her breasts
are larger than mine." "Red hair is so exotic!" "I wonder if...."  Komiki
interrupted, "It matches."  All the girls looked enviously at the brunette.
(NOTE: Do I really need to explain?)

	The small, slender blonde sitting by Ranma finally decided to ask the
newcomer (no pun intended) a direct question: "How DO you manage to stay in
such great shape?"

	Ranma dropped the bowl of almost-finished rice, and everyone drew back a
bit, afraid that they had somehow offended her; Ranma, her head wobbling a
bit, smiled at the questioner and touched her playfully on the nose.  "I git
plenty ov escercise."

	The girl to Komiki's left asked hesitantly, "How much of Salon's
Uninhibitor (it's just alcohol without the taste or smell) did you put in
that rice?"  Komiki smiled and held up a clear, glass bottle (that resembles
a whiskey bottle) half-full of an equally clear liquid (looks like Sprite).
The girl gasped, "Half!  Don't you think that was a bit much?"  Komiki
giggled. (CHEF'S VOICE: Damnit!  They're gonna take advantage of him when
he's plastered!  Those sluts!)

	The girl talking to Ranma asked shyly, "Could you show us some of your
exercises... that is, if you don't mind?"

	Ranma bowed and slurred, "Ssshur, no problem."  She rose to standing and
stumbled, but caught herself on the small girl's shoulders.  "Oooops, ssorry
'bout that."  She stood up and walked to an open area where she had plenty
of room.  Komiki glared at the small girl with the flickering of a jealous
rage; the girl just smiled.

	Ranma took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and began a number of katas that
she/he had been devloping for nearly a month.  She crossed her wrists, palms
facing outward, then arched her arms up and outward as if she were
encompassing the sun.  She swept low, kneeling to touch the floor.  When she
rose back to her feet, she began a series of punches, kicks, feints, and
dodges that hardly seemed like they were meant for fighting at all.  In
fact, the graceful, continuous motions of Ranma's body looked like the
exotic dancing the harem girls performed for the Emperor and his guests.

	Everyone "ooooh"ed and "aaaah"ed at Ranma's proficiency.  Some of the girls
sighed dreamily and a few were actively drooling while Ranma did backbends
(dodges), graceful arm sweeps (parries), and everyone's favorite, the high
kick in the air (paricularly over the head). (CHEF'S NOTE: EEEW! PERVERTS!!!)

	Komiki's mouth opened and closed like a fish.  She glanced at the bottle in
her hand and took a swig.

	(CHEF'S NOTE: I swear, if this is going to turn out to be a lemon, you can
find yourself a new editor!) (CUTE VOICE: If this lemon, Shampoo KILL!)
(NOTE: *gulp*) (OLD VOICE: If you fell it's necessary, I'm behind ya all the
way, Sonny!)

		

	Lon sighed heavily and buried his face into his hands with a deep despair
that would creep back into his soul whenever things started going wrong for
him.  He wasn't in the mood to notice things; if he was, he would have
noticed the dark-clad samurai with the black, sleeping crow perched on his
left shoulder wandering in his direction from somewhere in the back of the
palace.

	Reikiba rested his bokken on his right shouder and stopped in front of the
slumped form on the couch.  "Excuse me, but I appear to be somewhat lost.
Could you give me directions?"

	Lon did not even look up, and in all likelyhood, didn't hear the question.
He just said, "Go away."

	The samurai looked curiously at the giant, then took a seat beside him on
the couch.  "I can tell something's bothering you.  Would you like to talk
about it?"

	Lon hissed through his teeth and was fully prepared to knock whoever it was
across the room, but then he felt the stranger rest a hand on his shoulder;
suddenly, all thoughts of violence washed out of him.  He felt like the
person next to him would really listen.

	With another deep sigh, Lon began his tale: "It was never easy for
me--being born DIFFERENT.  I would always get picked on by groups of kids...."

	Reikiba listened intently and understood.

		

	Ranma obliviously finished her katas with the reverse move she started
with, ending with her wrists crossed and palms outward.  She turned to her
audience and bowed unsteadily.  "Huh?"  She squinted in confusion to behold
that some of the girls were holding each other and others were giving her
longing looks that she/he came to expect from Shampoo, Kunou, Kodachi, and
even Ukyou (CHEF'S NOTE: You better believe it, Sugar!).

	Komiki suddenly broadsided Ranma from some obscure direction, latched onto
her, and started raining her with kisses.  Ranma tried to push the girl
away, but she ended up holding her tighter to keep her balance.  Komiki
jumped into Ranma's arms and was about to deliver a long, passionate kiss
when a new girl burst through the door (actually, hanging beads) to the room
and panted, "His Highness has waken up!  Everybody get to their posts!"  She
frantically ran back to the 'recreation room' and the others quickly followed.

	Komiki whined, then swung out of Ranma's arms and ran through the doorway.
Ranma shugged and asked no one in particular (atually, no one), "Whaz goin
on?  Wherd evryone go?"  She strolled past the beads to see what the girls
were so excited about.

	Ranma looked around in confusion as she walked through the spacious room;
all the girls were settling themselves on couches in various suggestive
positions, as if they were posing for an enormous picture in a glamour
magazine.  She finally stopped by the pool and glanced at the main doors,
trying to remember something.

	Ranma gasped sharply when an arm slipped around her waist from behind and a
hand firmly cupped a breast.  A deep, masculine voice soothed, "I thought I
knew all the girls in my harem, yet sometimes my mind slips.  I apologize if
you have been neglected."

	Ranma's eyes became red slits and her battle aura shimmered slightly.  "Le
go ov me, JERK!"  She slapped his hands away, spun around, and threw a
chestnut fist at him; the attack was poorly executed (due to the dizziness
of spinning around) and the Emperor deflected it easily.

	He bellowed, "You have spirit!  I like that!"  All the other girls made a
mental note.  Ranma fumed at him, her chest heaving harshly.  The Emperor
looked at her critically, almost positive he recognized her from somewhere,
but he lustfully dismissed the thought.  Instead, he turned, let his long,
gray robe drop from his shoulders (underneath, he was wearing only a pair of
dark gray, billowy pants), and commanded, "Give me a backrub and I shall see
if you are worthy of my attention."  He walked to a raised matress at the
far end of the pool, staggering slightly as his metabolism tried to throw
off the rest of Salon's sleeping potion (which means he's almost as drunk as
Ranma right now).

	Ranma balled her hands into fists and her brow furrowed, but her face
brightened into a sinister smile as she just had a quick revelation.

		

	Miko crept down a flight of stairs and found the witchwoman and the clown,
as well as the Empress, inside a large room that looked like it had been
naturally carved out of the rock and earth.  The trio were sitting around a
cooking fire and the witchwoman was chanting in some archaic tongue.  The
room was eerily dark.

	Salon held the phoenix statue over her head.  "With this idol (CUTE VOICE:
I thee wed....), I have the power to ensure glorious destinies for us all!
The future will be ours!"

	The Empress sighed, "Would you just get on with it!  Gloating is so
unbecoming of you."

	Salon sneered, "You are just jealous because you and your clown didn't get
to it first."

	The Empress folded her arms.  "Did you not boldly claim to me earlier today
that you would not NEED the idol?"

	Liu-Sing chuckled.  "I believe her original plan failed when she found that
she could not defeat 'The Dark One', so now she NEEDS the statue."

	Salon groaned and ground her teeth.  "I was just testing my adversary until
those readheaded brats showed up and ruined everything!"

	The Empress snorted.  "More likely he was getting ready to deliver the
final blow and the brats distracted him long enough for you to get away."

	Salon turned red with anger, but could think of no retort.

	Liu-Sing chuckled and rose to his feet.  "Call me when you two are done
insulting each other."  They didn't even hear him as they badgered on.

	The clown took a few steps away from the fire and shook his head.  _Two
fools.  The gods only know how I have put up with them this long._  He
glanced back at the two, bickering like children, then at the idol resting
on the ground.  He palmed a throwing knife into each hand.  _I cannot allow
the future of this land to lie in such unstable hands.  One swift strike and
I can return the idol to one more suited to the task."

	Suddenly, the fire went out and all was dark.

		

	A bead of sweat rolled down Miko's face as she glanced around the corner
and thought about what she had to do. (OLD VOICE: Does it involve bursting
into tears?)  She backed away and finished tying her hair in a ponytail,
completing her transformation.  Now she'd have to become her guardian
spirit's guardian spirit, as well as her own.

	She peeked around the corner once more.  She'd have to be fast if she was
going to rush in and get out alive; it would be difficult, but she had made
a promise.  She closed her eyes and prepared herself.  When she opened her
eyes, she gasped as she caught the glint of sharp metal in the harlequin's
hands.

	She quickly swept her arms outward and the room went completely black.