MAILMAN:Mr. Tendo! Your mail!
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Mr. Tendo:
Hi. My name is Aisa Valenzuela and I am writing to you
from Manila, Philippines. I will be coming to Japan sometime
this week and I would like to take beginner's martial arts
classes under you. The reputation of your School of
Anything-Goes Martial Arts has reached us even here.
I am also looking for lodgings, and I was wondering if
I could stay at your house until I finish with my classes.
Of course, I would be glad to pay you for any
inconvenience on your part...
Sincerely yours,
Aisa Valenzuela
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SOUN: A p-paying customer? Coming here? (He clutches the letter
to himself as tears course down his cheeks freely.) Oh, how I've
w-w-waited for this day!
PART ONE:
Ranma and Akane meet their Matchmaker
SOUN: Kasumi!
KASUMI: (faces him, hands arrested above the kitchen stove) Hm?
SOUN: Nabiki!
NABIKI: (looks up from manga she is reading)......
SOUN: Akane!!! Ranma!!! Genma!!! Where in heaven's name are they?
************
(Akane has just come back from her customary morning jog. She is
in high spirits, as she usually is after jogging, and she heads
straight for the dojo. Sounds of a sparring match come faintly
from inside the training hall. She slides the panel door open to
find Ranma and Genma intent on their morning workout. Panting
heavily after the exercise, she bends over and grasps her knees
for support.)
RANMA: (glances at her) Whatsa matter, Akane? Can't handle a
little stroll around Nerima?
(An aura with an alarming shade of red begins to envelop Akane)
AKANE: Ranma...no BAKA!!!
(She aims a punch at him, but Ranma manages to jump up at the
last second. She ends up driving a fist through the wall instead.
(Unfortunately for Ranma, Genma is luckier and his high kick
nails him and sends him crumpling to the floor.))
AKANE: (stares at hole dismally) Oops.
(Nabiki suddenly appears in the doorway. She props a shoulder
against the door frame and regards Akane with her arms crossed
over her chest.)
NABIKI: There you go again, Akane. No wonder we're knee-deep in
repair costs.
AKANE: (flushes guiltily) I-I'm sorry, Nabiki. Still... Not
everyone thinks the world revolves around money.
NABIKI: No? Then I guess *this* wouldn't interest you. You too,
Ranma, Mr. Saotome.
************
AKANE: Visitor?
SOUN: Yes. I received her letter yesterday afternoon. Her name is
Aisa Valenzuela and she will be staying here until she finishes
her martial arts class.
NABIKI: (jumps up) Wait a minute! Don't we have some say on who
gets to stay under our roof? We do live here too, Dad.
SOUN: She agreed to pay, Nabiki.
NABIKI: (sits back down) Well why didn't you say so?
SOUN: (coughs) It seems she comes from the Philippines -
RANMA: Did she walk? From there to here?
SOUN: No. She flew.
RANMA: I thought as much. (smirks smugly and leans back)
KASUMI: How old is she? I hope she's around my age. It would be
so nice to have someone to talk to. (sighs)
AKANE: Well *I* hope she isn't another of Ranma's fiancees.
RANMA: What? Is that how little you think of me? Pop and I
concur. There are no more left. Isn't that right?
(Genma nods hastily, but a giant perspiration bead runs down his
forehead.)
RANMA: Why you -
(Ranma grabs him by the collar, but just then, they hear a car
honk outside.)
NABIKI: Oooo! It must be her!
(She runs out, and the whole Tendo family rush after her. The two
Saotomes hang back, coming more slowly. Just as they pass through
the door, a light rain starts to fall.)
RANMA-CHAN: Feh. Just the thing. Hey, Pop. Don't you find
something about this...familiar?
PANDA: @What did you say?@
RANMA: (whaps him on the head) Awww nuthin'.
(They join the Tendos, who watch as a young girl climbs out of
the taxi cab. She has shoulder-length black hair and large dark
brown eyes, and she is wearing jeans and a brown jacket with the
hood pulled up over a green and white shirt. She carries a large
duffel bag.)
SOUN: You...wouldn't be...
AISA: (smiles) Aisa Valenzuela. Pleasure to meet you. (She sticks
out a hand and Soun takes it.)
NABIKI: Well...she looks a little rich. I think. (reaches out and
pokes Aisa's breasts)
AISA: HEY!!!
NABIKI: Sorry. One can't be too sure of these things around here.
(She shoots Ranma-chan a sidelong glance and she shifts her
weight uncomfortably.)
SOUN: Well... Let's go in before we catch our death of cold.
PANDA: @Excellent idea, Tendo.@
(They file back into the house silently.)
SOUN: (clears throat) I'd like to introduce you to my daughters.
Kasumi; 19. Nabiki; 17. And Akane; 16. Those two are our guests:
my old friend Genma Saotome and his son, Ranma.
NABIKI: I know how you're going to react to that "friend" and
"son" bit. Before you think we've gone nuts, there's something
you should know about Ranma and his father.
AISA: You don't have to tell me. I already know.
(At this, Ranma-chan's jaw drops open and Akane takes an
involuntary step forward.)
NABIKI: (blink-blinks) You do?
AISA: Yeah. Very tragic story and all that right? We had to read
up about Jusenkyo in, um, class.
NABIKI: Really now?
(Aisa nods quickly, *too* quickly, and Nabiki notices. Her eyes
narrow speculatively.)
NABIKI: [Something tells me you're hiding something, Aisa
Valenzuela...but what?] All right. Show us your dough. There will
be no talk of business before then.
AKANE: Nabiki!
AISA: OK. [Heh. It's a good thing that I specifically requested
Takahashi-san to always draw my wallet full of money.] (reaches
into pocket) Will this be enough?
(Soun and Nabiki half-rise from their seats as they gape at the
fistful of bills she is holding. Their jaws sag onto the table
surface as their pupils quickly turn into $ signs.)
RANMA: (snorts derisively) I think you should take that as a yes.
(Steadfastly ignoring him, Nabiki snatches the bills and starts
to count them eagerly. Meanwhile, Soun's eyes overflow with
tears. He throws himself in front of her.
SOUN: M-M-Master! My soul is yours! Do with it what you may.
AISA: Uh....... Keep it. I'm sure it'll be more of use to you
than it will be to me.
SOUN: The master has spoken. Kasumi! Prepare the special guest
room.
KASUMI: You mean the one beside Master Happosai's room?
SOUN: Yes, that one.
AISA: Hold it. Happosai? Uh-uh. No way am I staying anywhere near
that freaky pervert.
KASUMI: Oh dear. I'm afraid that's our only spare.
AISA: ......
SOUN: ......
NABIKI: She'll sleep in Akane's room.
AKANE: WHAT???
NABIKI: Now, now. No need to be rude.
AKANE: I-I didn't mean - (She flushes and glances at Aisa
apologetically. Aisa just shrugs, a small smile on her lips. She
turns and starts to whisper to Nabiki furiously.) Just why does
it have to be *my* room?
NABIKI: (whispers back) Simple. She has the money.
SOUN: Is this agreeable to you, Akane?
AKANE: Y-Yes.
AISA: Then it's settled!
(She and Soun shake hands vigorously. She turns to Akane, beaming
with pleasure.)
AISA: Oh, I just know we'll have a great time!
AKANE: (finds herself smiling back) Me too. You wanna be friends?
I'll show you the practice hall.
SOUN: Ah... That's a good idea, Akane.
(Akane leads Aisa out into the backyard and toward a building
bearing a sign with Japanese characters. She slides the panel
door open and Aisa steps inside and takes a good look around. The
place is obviously much the worse for wear, starting with the
gaping hole in the wall at the corner. But there is a sense of
pride and hard work put into it.)
AISA: Wow.
AKANE: (beams at her proudly) You're a beginner, right? (She
nods.) Why don't we have a little match? Just for fun. Don't
worry. I won't hurt you. Just try to dodge my moves, OK?
AISA: (shrugs) If you say so.
(She just stands there while Akane drops into battle stance.
Akane attacks. Fortunately, she is able to dodge them all by
either moving to the left or right, ducking or running away. Aisa
is not sure however if she owes it all to skill. Akane uses the
same moves against her that she used against Ranma when they
first met, plus they're deliberately slower.)
AKANE: (claps a hand on her shoulder) You have pretty good
reflexes.
AISA: (panting heavily) You think? Because I wasn't all that good
at sports in school.
AKANE: No need to worry. Martial Arts isn't only about brute
strength. You gotta have patience, discipline...
RANMA: Which is why Akane will never be ,much of a martial
artist.
AKANE: Shut up you jerk! (A giant mallet suddenly springs into
her hand, and she clobbers him. Aisa comes to stand beside her,
eyeing what appears to be Ranma on the floor.)
AISA: Cool.
AKANE: You know what? I'm really glad you're a girl.
AISA: (tenses) And why is that?
AKANE: (looks confused) What do you mean why? That's it. *I'm
just glad you're a girl.*
AISA: (breaks into a grin) You know what? So am I.
************
AISA: (into the phone) Hello? Mrs. Gloria? May I speak to Laila
please? Thank you.
LAILA: Hello?
AISA: Lai! It's Au! Guess where I'm calling from?!
LAILA: You know, I really hate it when people make you guess
their news.
I mean, you know that they're gonna say "what" at the end. The
reason why you're calling is that they don't know.
AISA: ......
LAILA: Fine. (sighs) Where?!
AISA: I'm calling from Nerima! In the Tendo residence!
LAILA: You're kidding! You told me that you were going to Japan
to try to convince Rumiko Takahashi to include you in her story,
but I never thought you'd actually -
AISA: Well, what can I say. The two of us related to each other
so easily. You know, from one genius to another...
LAILA: Shut up already! You probably pestered the woman almost
to her grave. (muses) Still, I have to admit that was fast
work...
AISA: Well after I convinced Takahashi-san she was in a real
hurry
to start. Must have felt suddenly inspired or something.
LAILA: Uh-huh. So what's happening?
AISA: Um... I'm going to take martial arts classes under Mr.
Tendo, and I'm staying here until I finish them. That way,
there will be enough time for me to get Ranma and Akane together.
The way they should be.
LAILA: How do you plan to do that, by the way?
AISA: I'm not sure. I was thinking about the old roses and love
letters for the girl and obvious hints for the guy.
LAILA: It guess it's worth a shot...
AISA: I sure hope so.
(All of a sudden, they both hear a deafening crash.)
LAILA: What was that?!
AISA: I don't know. I think it came from the living room. Anyway,
I think I gotta go. Call you again soon, OK?
LAILA: All right. Bye!
(Aisa hangs up the phone. She creeps on tiptoe toward the living
room and peers in. Her eyes widen in shock when she realizes one
side of the wall is completely destroyed and lying in a heap of
stones. The reason for this is...)
SHAMPOO: Wo da airen...
RANMA: Sh-Sh-Shampoo! (in vain, he tries to disentangle her arms
from around his neck) If you're here then -
(They both look up. A boy with long black hair and white robes
stands before them. He gropes for the wall that is not there
anymore, and lands flat on his face as he contacts with nothing.)
RANMA: (groans) - Mousse is not far behind.
MOUSSE: That's odd. I was sure there was a door there. (He picks
himself up and perches the thick eyeglasses on his nose. His eyes
narrow on spotting the entwined couple.) So Saotome... Forcing
yourself on Shampoo again, eh? Die! (His trademark chain weapons
spring from the depths of his robe, aimed right at Ranma. He
ducks, and the chain weapons sail harmlessly above him.)
SHAMPOO: (sighs in exasperation) Mousse can't see past end of
nose...even with glasses!
UKYO: Yoohoo! Ranma honey! I brought you some okonomiyaki - (She
breaks off; eyes smolder upon seeing him with Shampoo.)
SHAMPOO: (sticks out tongue) Nyah!
RANMA: (gestures wildly) N-Now, don't listen, Ucchan. This is all
an accident and -
KODACHI: Ohohohohoho!!! But of course, it is an accident, darling
Ranma! Every one knows that it is only I, Kodachi, the Black Rose
of St. Hebereke,that you desire to be in your arms!
AKANE: (coldly) Is that so? (Everyone turns to face her. Her eyes
blaze with fury and flames appear to radiate from her body.)
Well, let's see you desire her...when you're both girls! (She
hurls the contents of a pail at Ranma and Shampoo. Instantly, in
their places are Ranma-chan with a pink-and-white cat perched on
her shoulder.)
RANMA-CHAN: YYYYYEEEEEEHHHHHH!!!!! (jumps up and starts running
around, flapping her arms)
KUNO: Ah! But it is my pig-tailed goddess! (outstretches an arm
toward her, but looks to Akane with anguish) Yet Akane Tendo is
here too! Oh how can a man choose between two such loves?
AKANE: Choose this! (She plants a foot in his face.)
UKYO: (pulling at Shampoo) Let go, you little minx -
RANMA-CHAN: Get offa me!!!
(Aisa watches as the scene becomes a blurry tangle of arms and
legs.)
AISA: (under breath) Hmmm... It is because of these...
nuisances...that Ranma and Akane cannot wed. I must find a way to
keep them from interfering... (Eyes glint mischievously.)
(
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