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YOUR BODY, MY MIND
Chapter One
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"Okay listen up," Ranma and Akane's gym
teacher was saying.
The class crowded around her expectantly. "All of you know that
the League of Schools volleyball tournament is coming up," she
informed them. "So we've all got to train harder than ever. So
here's what I'm going to do: we're going to have a game right
now, boys vs. girls."
"Boys vs. Girls!" Hiroshi, a classmate of
Ranma's,
protested. "Wouldn't it be more interesting if the teams were a
combination of both?" He winked at the clump of girls
suggestively.
"Interesting for whom?" the gym teacher
snapped back.
"Certainly not for the poor girls unlucky enough to become your
teammates."
Hiroshi reddened as the whole class
snickered.
"I am doing this," she continued, "because
I want you to
think as a team, work like a team and act like a team."
"But boys have an unfair advantage over
girls," Daisuke
murmured, thinking out loud.
Coach was in his face in an instant. "Are
you saying that
boys are better than girls?" she roared.
"N-N-No, I-I wouldn't dream of it ma'am,"
Daisuke stammered,
turning pale.
She nodded. "Make sure you don't. Now if
there are no more
unwanted comments... MOVE IT!!!"
Akane scrambled to her place like the rest.
She didn't want
to admit it, but she was disquieted. A boys vs. girls match meant
going up against Ranma...which was always bad news. She shook off
the idea determinedly. What was she even thinking of? It wasn't
as if she had something to prove...
Akane began her warm-up exercises.
It was the third set and the game was tied
at 13-all. Akane
was serving for her team. One of her teammates ran up to her and
whispered, "We've got to break away now, Akane." She nodded.
Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she tried to focus her
thoughts.
What had started out as a simple practice
match had
escalated into an all-out war. The girls were intent on proving
that they were capable of getting the better of the boys. On the
the other hand, the boys were not about to lose to a "bunch of
girls." Not only that, but the crowd was slowly beginning to
realize that the outcome of the match had become personal. Both
Ranma and Akane had fought like demons through the course of the
match, and the triumph or defeat would truly belong to the either
of them. She uttered a small prayer under her breath and
thwack!, the ball went over the net. The redheaded boy who was
guarding the bottom left area was too slow to move and the ball
hit the ground.
The girls in the stands cheered wildly.
"Way to go,
Captain!"
Akane mopped her brow then served again,
aiming the ball at
the same place. The boy had learnt his lesson however and passed
it to Ranma, who spiked it over the net.
"Yeah!" the boys hooted loudly.
Akane felt her heart beating in her chest.
Now whoever won
the next point would win the game. Glancing at her exhausted
teammates, she knew it would be up to her. The boys' team was
pretty much in the same position, she observed.
She let the ball come sufficiently near
then slammed it back with all her might. Ranma returned the
volley just as hard. Back
and forth went the ball from Ranma to Akane; every time one would
make an incredible move the other would return it. The crowd
watched breathlessly, almost not daring to blink. Then came the
decisive shot. Ranma hit the ball and down it went. Panting,
Akane dove for the volley...and came up short by a few
inches.
The crowd went wild. They jumped down from
the stands and
ran up to Ranma, thumping him on the back. "All right, Saotome!"
"Way to go!" "You're the man, m'man."
A girl with curly red hair stopped beside
her and enthused,
"Congratulations too, Akane. Good game. Uh...Akane?"
But the girl received no answer and she
walked away
uncertainly.
Akane was too stunned to even notice. How
could I not have
gotten that? she thought. How could I have missed?
Akane was changing into her uniform in the
locker room
despondently when she heard a knock on the door. She looked up
and her best friends Yuka and Sayuri came in. "Hi!!!" they
greeted in unison. They stopped when they saw her expression.
Sayuri sat down beside her on the bench.
"Why the long face,
Akane? It wasn't your fault."
Yuka nodded in agreement. "Without you the
team wouldn't
have stood a chance."
Her eyes lit up at the compliment. "Thank
you, Yuka."
She beamed at her happily. "You're too hard
on yourself.
After all, they do have Ranma."
Akane face-faulted.
Ranma and Akane were walking home from
school together. The
pair was silent. Akane pouted while Ranma whistled, too lost in
his own thoughts to notice. All of a sudden they heard someone
shout, "Look out!" and a frisbee came hurtling towards her.
"Whoa!" Ranma said, deftly catching it
before it struck her.
Akane blinked. She hadn't even seen that
coming! Then she
remembered that Ranma had, and she gritted her teeth.
A boy with spiky black hair ran up to them.
He smiled at
Akane apologetically. "Sorry. Are you ok?"
She nodded.
He then turned to Ranma. "That was some
catch, partner," he
said admiringly.
Ranma inclined his head as if to say, "Aw
shucks," but the
gesture was ruined by his cocky grin.
"Well...see ya." The boy ran back to his
friends with a wave and they resumed walking. It was a good thing
Ranma didn't look
over at Akane or he'd have seen a huge storm cloud forming over
her head.
They reached the Tendo residence a few
minutes later. Ranma
entered while Akane lurked outside, inspecting some flower
pots.
"You're rather late today," Kasumi
remarked. "I was just
about to call everyone for dinner."
"There was this volleyball game in gym
class," he explained. "It took quite awhile."
Akane chose that moment to come in.
Unfortunately, her heel
caught on the doorway and she tripped. Her hands came down on the
table, overturning it and sending all the platters flying. Her
cheeks burnt with embarrassment. Oh no, what have I done? she
thought, slowly sitting up.
"You should learn to watch your step,"
Ranma told her. She
was so humiliated that she almost punched him in the nose, except
that she found out he was balancing all the plates on his arms
and head.
"Yeah," Nabiki agreed as she came down the
stairs.
Evidently, she'd witnessed the whole thing. "My sister the klutz.
Good thing Ranma was there."
That was the last straw. Akane saw red.
"That's it!!! I'm
sick and tired of hearing how great Ranma is!" With that she, ran
up the stairs and into her room.
"What's the matter with her?" she heard
Nabiki murmur before
she slammed the door closed. She threw herself onto her bed,
fighting back the tears that suddenly sprang to her eyes.
"I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!!!"
It was a litany
she'd often recited and it felt good to let it all out. Sobbing,
she curled herself into a little ball, feeling numb inside. Why
was it that Ranma always made her look like a klutzy, clumsy
child? And it wasn't like this was the first time, too.
Before Ranma had come along she'd been the
best at
everything. She could beat up all the boys at school without
breaking into sweat. Then Ranma had strutted in and he was all,
"I can do anything." He made all her achievements look tiny in
comparison. Now all she was was his clumsy and awkward fiancee.
The fiancee he didn't even want!!! She couldn't do anything
right!
She closed her eyes, welcoming the soothing
darkness. She
slipped her hand under her pillow. She suddenly realized how
tired she was; that stupid volleyball match had sapped all of her
strength. She turned to her left restlessy. I wish I was Ranma,
was her last thought before she drifted into slumber...peace at
last.
Akane awoke to the uncomfortable sensation
of feeling hot
and sticky. Groggily, she got out of bed with a groan, eyes still
half-closed. She moaned at the pain in her head, and when she
stood up she felt heavy and weighed down. Great, she thought
ruefully, I'm not only slow I'm gaining weight. She twisted the
knob to her room open. She glanced down the hall.
Nabiki was just coming out of her room, and
her eyes widened
when she saw Akane. "My, my," she said, eyeing her slyly. "What
are you doing in Akane's room, Ranma?"
"Ranma?!" she exclaimed, the memory of last
night's tantrum
still fresh in her mind. "Why? Where is he?"
Nabiki shot her a strange look. Finally,
with a resigned
shake of her brown head, she went down the stairs.
Akane shrugged, instantly dismissing her
sister's words. She
followed her down and entered the bathroom.
Ranma was awakened by a jolt from his
father. He opened his
eyes and found the panda gesticulating wildly, a feverish look on
his face. "What's the matter, Pop?" he mumbled, still drowsy. The
panda continued to gesture incoherently. He groaned and finally
found enough strength to drag himself out of bed. He winced at
the unexpected nausea he felt. What a way to start the day, he
thought, and to top it all off I'm female. (He's learned to
differentiate when he's what.)
Genma was now staring at him in shock.
"What's the matter with you?" Ranma
muttered grumpily. He
trudged outside, moaning. Genma frantically searched for a
certain wooden sign, throwing out the wrong ones. Ranma ignored
him and headed for the bathroom.
They passed within inches of each other;
Akane coming from
the bathroom, Ranma going into it. They had both gone a few steps
when they stopped and turned to look back, mouths agape. In
disbelief, they stared at each other - or more accurately - they
stared at themselves.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" they cried at
exactly the same
time. Identical looks of horror were reflected on their
faces.
They heard doors opening on the other side
of the house, and
someone irritably shouted, "What the hell???"
Akane-in-Ranma's-body dragged
Ranma-in-Akane's-body to
Happosai's room, which was closest. Akane slammed the door shut.
They heard footsteps in the corridor outside. "Who is it?" they
heard Kasumi call. No one answered, so after a few moments she
left, her footsteps growing fainter and fainter.
Akane closed her eyes and exhaled in
relief.
Ranma faced her, a frenzied look on his
face. He found out
that it was highly disturbing to see himself while he was someone
else. (True, he'd often found himself something else, but
not
someone else)
"Akane is that really you?!" he yelped.
"Of course it's me you idiot," Akane
snapped. Then she
paused and frowned in confusion. "No, i-it's not me," she
stammered. "I'm you but I'm not you, I'm me but I'm-"
Ranma shook her until she stopped babbling.
"We both don't
know what's going on," he told her. He shrugged. "Who knows, this
might all be just a bad dream-"
"A nightmare you mean," Akane
corrected.
Ranma nodded, rolling his eyes. "You're
telling me. The last
thing I want is to be stuck in your slow, out of shape bod!"
Akane's eyes slowly turned smoky, a sure
sign she was
furious. "Excuse me, mister, but are you implying I'm slow and
clumsy?!"
He snorted derisively, crossing his arms
across his chest.
"At least you catch on quick."
She exploded. "You jerk! Listen up, I'm
just as dismayed as
you are with the switch!"
"You? Why? You should be glad! I've got
everything to lose!
You'll probably end up wrecking my whole reputation."
His egotistical, know-it-all expression
infuriated her and
brought her to say, "Oh yeah?! Well, it's not much to begin with.
At least I'm a girl and just a girl!"
Ranma reacted as if he'd been slapped. Hurt
flashed through
his eyes before they became completely blank. For a moment, Akane
felt a pang of guilt, yet it didn't last long. He had hurt her
feelings as well with that insensitive jab about her physical
skills. He was so arrogant and conceited that he'd had that
coming. It served him right. Seconds turned to minutes and still
they did not speak. Akane glanced down at herself -
(himself?)
and let out a ragged sigh.
"Look, I'm not going to apologize to you if
that's what
you're thinking. But we have a problem here that we're not going
to solve unless we do it together. Let's call a truce for now and
concentrate on how to get back to normal."
His voice was carefully neutral. "Any
ideas?"
They dropped back into uncomfortable
silence. They heard
footsteps just outside the door and figured it was Nabiki this
time. A whiff of a sweet and slightly cloying odor assailed their
nostrils. Ranma sniffed distastefully. Then his eyes widened. So
did Akane's.
"Cologne!" they cried in unison.
Ranma had to smile. "Gotta admit, if
there's anyone who can
help us it's gotta be the old ghoul." A thought occured to him.
"Hey, do we tell them about this?" he asked, jerking his
head
at the door.
Akane mulled it over. "No," she said at
last. "Maybe Cologne
knows how to reverse this... curse in an instant and we don't
need to alarm them."
"Plus they would think we'd gone nuts,"
Ranma added dryly.
Akane nodded. "Right. So we need to sneak
out of the house
without them knowing and avoid any questions."
He held up a finger. "But first I gotta
change." He was
starting to pull off the top of her yellow pajamas before she
stopped him.
"Not so fast, buddy. That's my body you'll
be looking at."
Ranma's mouth dropped open. "What...what do
you mean?
Th-Then what about you?" he sputtered.
She smiled. "Simple. All I have to do is-"
Akane grabbed a
pail of water that had just happened to be lying nearby and
poured the contents on herself, demonstrating instead of
explaining further. She gasped at the unexpected sensation of the
transformation. She saw that Ranma was watching her, trying to
gauge her reaction. She tried to appear nonchalant.
"Are you saying that I have to wear these
pajamas outside?"
Ranma incredulously asked. Then he smiled craftily. "Wait a
minute, what am I worrying about? It's you who's going to look
like a dork."
She thought fast. "All right," she
conceded. "But you'll have to do it with your eyes closed."
He decided that was close enough and nodded
his assent.
She snapped her fingers. "Now all I'll have
to steal
upstairs for some clothes-"
He grabbed her by the arm and flushed. "You
don't need to,
Akane. I've got clothes right here."
Akane tried to hide a smile. No doubt, he
would retort that
he would need them for his next battle plan if she said amything.
She rummaged through a sizable pile of clothes and settled on a
pair of black slacks and a pink v-neck shirt. She brought out a
handkerchief to use as a blindfold.
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Like I'd want to
peek," he quipped.
She tied it over his eyes and handed him
the clothes. It
took him awhile to put the clothes on straight. When he tore the
piece of cloth off, Akane was already dressed in his usual outfit
of red shirt and blue pants.
"Let's go," she said. She checked the hall
and found it
empty. She gave the go-signal to Ranma.
"Do we have to go now?" Ranma whined as
they tiptoed out.
"We haven't even eaten breakfast yet."
Akane didn't even bother to reply. They
crept out silently
and were already out the door when they heard a voice ring out
from behind them.
"Now where do you think you're going?"
Nabiki asked.
They turned around guiltily and confronted
the Tendos and
Genma, who were glaring at them accusingly.
"It's not what you think," they stammered
out.
Soun inexplicably broke into tears. "What
else can we
think?" he wailed.
Nabiki nodded. "Yeah, how can you guys deny
it?"
Ranma and Akane hung their heads. They
should have known
better than to think they could dupe their own family, Akane
thought. Now we're in big trouble.
"I mean," Nabiki continued, "I caught Ranma
coming out of
your room, Akane."
Their heads snapped back up.
Genma stepped forward, holding out a sign.
"I saw Akane
sleeping in Ranma's bed!!!" it read in lights. He and Soun began
hopping and dancing all over the place.
"Ranma and Akane slept together," Soun sang
while Genma
warbled in panda language.
Ranma and Akane began heatedly denying it.
"Now wait a minute," Akane cried. "I would
never-"
"With a tomboy like her?!" Ranma
blurted.
Akane turned on him. "Jerk!"
They suddenly noticed that all eyes were on
them. They
realized their mistake.
"I mean, that pervert," Ranma corrected
falteringly.
"Yeah and you're so uncute," Akane
responded.
They looked at each other in confusion. In
silent agreement,
they fled as fast as their legs could carry them.
"But you did sleep with each other?!" Soun
called after
them.
"Yeah whatever," Ranma muttered, not having
heard the
question. They disappeared around the turn in the road.
Soun and Genma looked at each other, eyes
wide with delight.
The two high-fived enthusiastically. "Kasumi! Nabiki! Get ready
for the wedding!!!"
Ryoga's eyes widened as he observed Ranma
and Akane
approaching him. That Ranma was with her was deplorable but in
this case unavoidable. He began laughing and grinning like an
idiot and his cheeks flushed. Ranma felt like throwing up. He was
quick to use it to his advantage, however. "You know Ryoga, I
always wanted to tell you that I-" He let out a cry as Akane
dragged him away.
"Not now, Akane," she muttered through
clenched teeth. They
entered the Nekohanten hurriedly. The chimes tinkled as they came
in.
Cologne was wiping the counter. Looking up,
she addressed
Akane. "Well son-in-law, you just missed Shampoo-"
Ranma stepped in between them. "No, you've
got it all wrong!
I'm Ranma."
Cologne glanced from one to another, her
wizened face
impassive.
"It's true," Akane confirmed with a sigh.
"When we woke up,
we were already like this. We had, er, switched bodies."
Cologne's expression never changed.
"Son-in-law, this is
your most pathetic attempt yet to trick Shampoo."
Ranma took a step forward threateningly.
"Why you old
ghoul-" He was stopped from saying more by a poke in the throat
from Cologne's staff.
"Now I believe you," she croaked. "Akane
wouldn't have said
that.
Akane stepped in. "Will you help us,
Cologne?"
She stared into space, thinking deeply.
"The question is,
can I help you. We need to know first what caused this." She
turned to Akane. "Did you, by any chance, take a spring of barley
and run it up your nose?"
"No!" she cried in horror.
"Then did you run naked around a cemetery
twelve times on a
full moon?"
"Of course not!"
She shrugged. "There is nothing else.
Except...did you place
your hand underneath your pillow then turn to the left?"
Akane thought hard, trying to recall her
actions. "I might
have." All she could remember was being mad at Ranma and wishing
that- Akane gasped out loud.
Cologne observed her reaction knowingly.
"Then you wished to
have Ranma's body?"
Ranma made choking noises in the
background.
"Yes I did," Akane replied in a horrified
whisper.
Cologne nodded. "I thought as much."
He gaped at Akane. "You wished for my
body???"
Akane turned on him, angry all of a sudden
to hide her
embarrassment. "Well don't let it get to your head."
"How can I?" Ranma shot back. "That's where
you're spouting
off from."
The two dropped into morose silence.
Cologne cleared her throat. "If you two
have nothing more to
say, I think you'd like to know how all this came to be."
They nodded dumbly.
"Few people know this, but everyone is
granted one wish in
their entire lifetime. The catch however is that you have to
utilize it on a certain night and on that night only. Also, you
have to put your hand beneath your pillow and turn to the left
before wishing."
"But how are we-" Ranma began.
"Fortunately," Cologne continued, shooting
Ranma an annoyed
look, "there is a cure. "All you need to do is that Akane repeat
the procedure tomorrow night and wish things back to normal."
Ranma grew red in the face and
exploded."Are you kidding?!
Tomorrow night?! That's the best you can do?! I can't stay in her
crummy body another minute!!!"
Akane felt the heat rising to her face.
"Shut UP, Ranma!!!
How do you think I feel?! I wasted my wish - my
once-in-a-lifetime wish - for your body!"
"What's wrong with it?!"
" 'What's wrong with it' he says!!!" She
advanced on him
threateningly.
Cologne's staff shot out in between them.
"Silence! Shhame
on you! You should be content to have such an easy solution!"
"Content's not the word," they bit back at
the same instant.
They hmmphed and faced away from each other, arms crossed.
Cologne compressed her lips in what beared
some semblance of
a smile. To Akane she said, "I wouldn't worry about the wish if I
were you. Obviously, only a handful of people have been able to
use their wish anyway, and most with disastrous results. Belive
me, you're not losing out on much."
There was a pause. "So what do we do in the
meantime?" Ranma
asked.
Cologne sighed. "As much as it ruins
Shampoo's chances, I'd
have to advise you to lay low the whole day. Preferably alone
together."
"Now that's a sacrifice," Ranma remarked.
He braced himself
for a mallet attack but none came. Finally, he glanced over at
Akane. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that she had gone
pale. "What's the matter now?" he asked, full of misgivings.
Tight-lipped, she answered, "It's a little
too late for that
plan now. I told Yuka and Sayuri they could come over yesterday.
They're probably at the house right now."
Ranma went berserk again. "Gossiping with
your friends is
how you deal with a major crisis in your life?! Way to go!" he
added sarcastically.
Steam began to pur out of her ears. "Where
do you get off
lecturing me???" she demanded hotly. "You've gotten me and my
family into worse circumstances than this! A hundred times more
worse!" She began beating him with her arms.
He feebly tried to fend her off. Those
really hurt, he
observed with surprise. Either his resistance was much lower or
she was a lot stronger. He decided that it was probably both.
"Real good Akane," he muttered indignantly. "Remember whose body
you're damaging."
Akane winced as the words struck home. Sh
let her arms drop
to her sides. She'd have to learn to check her reflexes from now
on. Then again, she thought, sometimes a little discomfort was
worth real pain for him. "Can we eat brunch here Cologne?" was
what she said out loud as Ranma straightened out.
Cologne eyed her coldly. "No."
"Why not?" a puzzled Ranma inquired.
It was his turn to feel the chill of her
gaze. "Because you
can't." She hopped into the back room.
"Hey how did you know it was me who made
the wish?" Akane
feebly called out after her.
Cologne laughed, not deigning to
answer.
With a heavy heart, she and Ranma exited
the restaurant.
"Can we go to Ucchan's?" he suggested hopefully.
Akane shook her head. "We can't go there.
There's no way I
can act like you around Ukyo."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked
defensively.
"It means - oh forget it. Just take my word
for it, we can't
go there. Anyway, I told you, Yuka and Sayuri are dropping
by."
He began shaking his head. "I can't believe
this. Can't you
miss a session of your gabfest?"
She threw him a sidelong look. "I can and
will. You're
taking my place."
He stopped dead in his tracks.
"Nooooo."
Akane was enjoying herself. She didn't
really want him to
talk to her friends (are you kidding???) but it was fun teasing
him into agony. "Don't forget to tell me what the latest fashions
are," she added.
Ranma covered his face with his hands.
She snickered. "Oh, you're such a baby. I
was just kidding.
All you have to do is tell them to come another time."
He sulked and they walked the remaining
blocks in silence.
Unfortunately, with the two of them, silence never lasts for
long...
Ranma was the first to spot it. "Oh no." He
started
sprinting towards the house.
"What's wrong?" Akane asked, catching up
with him. But by
then, she'd spotted what had bothered him as well. She gasped. "I
can't believe it!"
