Ranma 1/2: Presents
Shampoo 1/2 

Chapter 3
The Hunters

Standard Disclaimer: 
I don't own any of these characters. They belong to the Goddess Takahashi
and whomever she leased the rights to. Buy Ranma stuff. Not only is it low
in calories but it can take care of that annoying money people keep giving
you for work. Remember, Ranma is good food.

(What's gone on before: In the beginning, Ranma and Genma traveled to
Jusenkyou for the first time and started to spar, not realizing a dual was
already occurring between Shampoo and Mousse. One mid-air collision and
dunking in spring of young drowned man later, we have a male Shampoo as
well as a female Ranma. So Ranma-kun/Ranma= Male. Ranma-chan= female
Shampoo-chan/Shampoo= female. Shampoo-kun= male. Enjoy.)

Hunt 1
Ryouga: Vengeance

The scene opens with Akane, Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun coming back from
school. As usual, the trio is looking around in paranoid fashion just
waiting to be jumped by female students, demented cheerleaders, or Kunous'.
The ambush is somewhat different this day.

Ranma-chan: I think I'll try a spin kick into Kunou's head tomorrow since
it's my turn. I haven't unloaded that one in a while.

At this point a bat flies into Ranma-chan's face again.

Ranma-chan: Get it off me!

Shampoo-kun: Shampoo get it. (She whips out a bonbori. Once again the bat
gets out of the way but Ranma's face does not. The bat flies off)

Ranma-chan: Ouch. Whad'ya do that for? You're about as accurate as Akane.

Shampoo-kun: Shampoo sorry.

Ranma-kun: (Calms down) That's all right.

Akane: (Irate) Why didn't you accept my apology when I hit you?

Ranma-chan: (Irate right back) Because you didn't apologize. 

The argument continues until a whistling sound in the air leads them
conclude they will not be disappointed from an ambush perspective this day.
An umbrella comes sailing from around the corner. All three leap out of the
way. The umbrella comes back to the sender's hand as he turns the corner.
It is indeed Ryouga.

Ryouga: (Now points towards Shampoo-kun) You really have no honor do you
Ranma? Having women fight for you. How low can you be? If I had known you
were such a coward, I might not have spent so many years tracking you down.

Shampoo-kun: (In an aggressive stance) You talk or you fight?

As both contestants get ready to brawl we see Ranma-chan has been growing
angrier and angrier with each statement Ryouga has made. This has not gone
unnoticed by Akane.

Akane: Ranma, what are you...

Ranma-chan: (Cutting her off) He's right. He wants me, not her. I am having
someone else fight my fight. And... I...can't...take...it...any...more.
(The last is said through gritted teeth.)

Shampoo-kun and Ryouga start fighting when Ranma-chan walks off around the
corner to look for some hot water. He is surprised to find a kettle sitting
on the ground. Most of the water in it is gone, but there is still a little
remaining in the bottom, just enough to trigger the change. After using it
he runs back to the fight. Neither combatant has landed a serious blow yet.

Ranma-kun: Stop! (Both fighters stop.) I'm the Ranma you're looking for
pal.

Ryouga: (Suspiciously) You look like the Ranma I know, but everyone says
this is Ranma. (Points to Shampoo-kun)

Ranma: I'm Ranma Saotome. Now who are you and why do you want to kill me?

Ryouga: (Decides this is indeed the real Ranma) Remember the bread you
fool?

Ranma: Bread? (Thinks) Bread? Bread? Bread! (Out loud) No way! You can't
be.

Ryouga: Yes it can. Ryouga Hibiki. The boy you stole bread from every day
for a year. The boy you ran out on a fight from. The boy who became a man
who spent years tracking you down.

Akane: (Incredulously) You ran out on a fight?

Ranma: No way. I showed up and waited three days for that jerk to come.

Ryouga: I arrived on the fourth day.

Ranma: Since it was in a back lot two houses away from you, I figured you
didn't show up. But even so, it's stupid to track someone down for years
just over some bread and a stupid fight that didn't happen. Let's let
bygone be bygones. How about I have Nabiki buy you some stock in a bread
company?

Ryouga: (Seething) It's not about bread anymore. It goes far beyond that.
You destroyed my manhood. Ruined my life. Now prepare to die. 

Ryouga swings twice at Ranma. He dodges both blows and manages to strike
Ryouga once in the stomach. He just stands there and smiles. 

Ranma: (Thinks) Talk about abs of steel. He's tough. Better not hold back
against him.

Ryouga throws two kicks that Ranma blocks. Ryouga leaves himself open for
another midsection punch. Ranma applies more force and is happy to see this
one has an effect as Ryouga exhales a little air. Ryouga draws his umbrella
and attempts to connect with two quick jabs which Ranma easily ducks away
from.

Ranma: (Taunts) An umbrella has got to be the most stupid weapon I have
ever seen.

Famous last words. Ryouga gives a third thrust which Ranma moves his head
to avoid. This time Ryouga opens the umbrella behind Ranma and uses it to
pull the unsuspecting youth towards him. Ryouga then employs a headbutt
when Ranma is close enough. Ranma places his hand on top of Ryouga's head
and then springs up connecting with both knees to Ryouga's jaw. He jumps up
onto a tree branch to give him some distance from the eternally lost one.
Ryouga whips off one of his bandannas and twirls it around.

Ranma: (Thinks) Now what's he up to?

Ranma finds out as Ryouga looses the bandanna at the tree branch Ranma's
on, severing it. Ranma is caught flat footed and drops like a rock. Just as
he is about to hit the ground it's Ryouga's turn to connect with Ranma's
jaw. Ranma goes sailing over a nearby wall. Ryouga follows and is in turn
followed by Akane and Shampoo-kun. It turns out to be a wall bordering the
zoo. Ranma runs through the panda pen, passing by four pandas drinking tea.
They stare at him as he runs past. He jumps out of the pen and takes an
offensive posture on one of the public trails. The umbrella comes out of
the pen before Ryouga. Ranma dodges it but Ryouga is upon him as soon as he
recovers the umbrella. Ryouga once again takes the offensive with umbrella
thrusts. 

Ranma-kun: (Thinks) If only I could get that damn umbrella away from him
this would be a whole lot easier.

Ryouga once again tosses his umbrella at Ranma he jumps past it again. As
he is in mid-air, Shampoo, as if reading his mind decides to lend a helping
hand.

Shampoo-kun: Here Ranma, catch. (Throws a bonbori to him) 

He catches the bonbori and hurls it at the returning umbrella, knocking it
off its course to Ryouga's hand.

Ryouga: You think that's going to save you? I don't need that to finish
you.

Ryouga then walks over to a tree and starts trying to lift up from the
ground.

Ranma-kun: (In disbelief.)Oh no! You've got to be kidding.

With a supreme effort Ryouga manages to uproot the tree and starts swinging
it at Ranma. Fortunately for Ranma, a tree is an unwieldy weapon at best.
After two swings with it Ranma jumps onto the tree and runs along its
length to Ryouga, whom he kicks in the head when he arrives. Ryouga drops
the tree and Ranma presses the advantage. He tries leaping over Ryouga.,
but is snagged in midair. Ryouga grabs him by the waist while he is still
in mid-air and powerbombs Ranma into the ground. Fortunately for Ranma,
Ryouga lets go and starts to move back to survey the damage his opponent
took. As soon as he starts to move back Ranma brings his knees up and
drives the balls of his feet into Ryouga's face. Ranma then gets back to
his feet and leaps backward into the air to get some distance so he has a
chance to recover.

Ryouga: You don't get away that easily.

Ryouga hurls several bandannas at Ranma, who has no choice but to crash
into the skylight of the building he is above. He lands on top of a steel
beam which stretches across a huge water tank. Ryouga lands across from him
a moment later.

Ryouga: Nowhere to run now Ranma.

Ranma-kun: You're asking for it pal.

At that moment the occupant of the tank makes an appearance. A twenty eight
foot fish leaps over the beam, between the two youths.

Ranma: Oh great another...

Ryouga: SHARK! (Panicked) Ranma I suggest a temporary truce. We get out of
here then continue our fight. 

Ranma-kun: Agreed. 

Both youths are tensing to jump when the shark leaps again and hits the
beam causing enough vibration to knock both of them into the water.
Ranma-chan's head surfaces the water just in time to see the shark bearing
down on her. Just as it is about to have a Saotome snack, a figure jumps
down on the back of the shark striking it with a bonbori. It lifts its head
up out of the water in pain just enough for Ranma-chan to grab on
underneath its neck and out of the way of its jaws. It starts spinning
around while swimming in a circle trying to dislodge its meals. Ranma-chan
is starting to get really tired when she hears a voice yell down from
above.

Akane: Grab on to the chain.

Akane is bent over the side, about twenty feet up, dangling a chain over
the side. It is just long enough to touch the water. 

Ranma-chan: Shampoo! Jump first! I'll be (Pauses as she goes underwater and
waits to resurface) right behind you.

She sees Shampoo-kun jump from the shark's back onto the chain and starts
scrambling up. As the shark passes by the chain again Ranma-chan jumps and
grabs on to the bottom of the chain. She makes it up about ten feet when
she starts to lose her grip due to wetness. Shampoo-kun grabs Ranma-chan by
the collar just in time to see the shark make a leap at them. The leap will
easily reach their height, and beyond. Luckily their momentum has caused
the chain, and subsequently them, to rotate. The shark jumps past where
they were a moment ago, missing them by inches. 

Ranma-chan: Why you!

She lashes out with her teeth and bites a small chunk out of the dorsal
fin. The shark lands back in the water with a gigantic splash. 

Ranma-chan: (Spitting out the chunk of fin.) I hate raw fish.

Akane: (Straining) Quit horsing around and get up here. I can't hold this
thing forever.

Both skitter up the chain without further harassment. Once at the top
everyone falls to the ground, exhausted.

Akane: (Out of breath)You guys O.K.?

Ranma-chan: (Also out of breath)You two saved my life. Thanks.

Shampoo-kun: (Gasping) It no problem.

Ranma-chan: (To Shampoo) I can't believe you jumped in there. It would'a
had me for sure if you hadn't come when you did. (Realizes someone is
missing.) Where's Ryouga?

Akane: He never surfaced after you both went in.

The trio stick their heads over the side to see if they can locate Ryouga,
but to no avail. The tank is empty save for the shark.

Akane: (Sadly) He must have been eaten. 

Ranma-chan: (Very sad) He didn't seem like a bad guy. Just misguided.

Shampoo-kun gives a prayer for departing souls. All three turn and leave
the aquarium. None of them see the small black object that detaches itself
from Shampoo-kun's back. It lays there for a few moments, then shakes
itself dry and flies off.


Hunt 2
Cologne: The Path Fate Takes

A few days later Shampoo-chan is shopping with Kasumi. They are in an open
market buying food. 

Kasumi: Thank you for coming with me Shampoo. I rarely get company when I
go shopping. Sometimes Nabiki will come along to check out prices or Akane
will see if she can find something for one of her recipes.

Shampoo: (Startled) She not do that recently, do she?

Kasumi: No. I always try to give everyone a warning... (pauses) I mean
notice when she does that.(Gives the gentle Kasumi smile).

Shampoo: Is good to know beforehand when to eat out.

They separate. Shampoo-chan goes around the corner to one of the other
venders and see if they have what she is looking for.

Shampoo: Shampoo wonder if Ranma like baked duck with special seasoning.

Shampoo is lost in thought when she hears a voice that stops her dead in
her tracks.

Voice: (In chinese <>) 

Shampoo slowly turns around, terror in her eyes. Sure enough, it is exactly
who she feared it was. Cologne.

Shampoo: (Softly) 

Shampoo looks like a deer caught in headlights. She is motionless for a few
seconds, then takes off at top speed.

Cologne: (To self)  She starts
hopping on her staff.

Shampoo is still running at top speed when she spots Kasumi and drags her
off by the arm. She then grabs a glass of water off of a table at an open
air café and runs down an alley. She dumps the water over her, instant
Shampoo-kun. She then bends down and kisses Kasumi. 

Cologne comes to the mouth of the alley and spots the couple. 

Cologne: (Thinks)  (Gets closer)  (Sees what Shampoo-kun is doing with
Kasumi.)  (Looks around then hops off on her
staff.)

Shampoo-kun waits a full two minutes until he is sure that Cologne is gone,
then breaks off the kiss.

Kasumi: (Blushing furiously) Shampoo. I...I know you look like a man now, a
handsome one I mean, but I can't do that sort of thing with...(trails off
then continues) you know, a girl.

Shampoo-kun: (Fearfully) Great Grandmother here.

Kasumi thinks for a moment before realization sets in. 

Kasumi: Oh no!

Later we see the two of them walking to the Tendo Dojo.

Kasumi: (To self) ...and it wasn't as though she was really kissing me, she
was just using me as camouflage. That makes forty eight reasons why I
shouldn't feel bad about that kiss. (Inward sigh) This isn't working.

The duo arrive before she can get to forty nine. Once inside Kasumi calls
everyone together to the dining room. When everyone is seated the meeting
is begun.

Ranma-kun: This ain't about Akane trying to cook again, is it? I thought we
settled that last time.

Akane: (Adamant) I will not allow myself to be shipped off to America to
learn from the Frugal Gourmet.

Ranma: Well you don't expect us to try anything you make without some kind
of professional training. That would be the same as making a group suicide
pact. Ain't that right Pop?

Genma: (Nodding head) I see little difference between the two.

Akane: (Angrily) Who asked you? (Hits Genma in the head with her mallet.)

Ranma: Besides everyone knows the only reason Kasumi lets you cook is so
that she can use the leftovers to poison the rats. 

Akane: That's a lie. Kasumi doesn't do that. Do you sis? (Kasumi just
stands there and blushes furiously.) You're kidding.

Kasumi: Well it does work rather well.(Clears throat and changes the
subject.) That is not why we are here today. Shampoo has something to say.
(Kasumi gives the floor to Shampoo-kun.)

Shampoo-kun: Shampoo Great Grandmother in town.

Everyone just stares at her.

Nabiki: (Looking bored) So.

Shampoo-kun: If Shampoo Great Grandmother find Shampoo then she make her go
back to China.

Nabiki: (Suddenly interested) You can't do that. Just tell her no.

Ranma: Yeah. It ain't like she can force you to go.

Shampoo-kun: You not know Great Grandmother.

Ranma: C'mon. How old is she?

Shampoo-kun: Over three hundred year old.

Ranma: Quit pulling our legs.

Shampoo-kun: Shampoo not pull leg or anything else. Great Grandmother over
three hundred year old.

Ranma: All right. So she's over three hundred years old. She's lucky she
ain't in a wheelchair or something. I can stop her with one finger if I
have to.

Shampoo-kun: Great Grandmother great fighter.

Ranma: Old people ain't a threat.

Genma: That's not true boy. Old people can make you do terrible things. 

Soun: Like steal food.

Genma: Or skip out on bills.

Soun: (Getting louder) Or distract authorities so they can get away with
crimes.

Genma: (Also getting louder) Or ride on your back like a horse.

Soun: (Getting really loud) Or make you steal women's underwear.

Akane: (Shouting at them) What are you guys talking about?

Soun and Genma are shocked back to the real world.

Genma: Anyway boy, don't underestimate old people.

Ranma: (Sarcastically) Yeah, right.

Shampoo-kun: No can refuse Great Grandmother. She leader of family and
leader of village.

Ranma: (A bit confused) You never mentioned that to us.

Shampoo-kun: (Looks towards Kasumi who nods her head indicating she should
go on.) Shampoo not tell many things. Shampoo sorry, so she tell now.
Shampoo tell Ranma and Pop about how she mighty warrior in village and can
no go back because boy.

Ranma: Yeah. We figured you were too ashamed to face your family since you
guys are all Amazons and now you're a man.

Shampoo-kun: There more to it than that. Shampoo Great Grandmother leader
of Amazon village. Great Grandmother want Shampoo become next leader of
village. It great honor, so Shampoo trained from birth be new leader.
Shampoo fight and learn how to lead. Great Grandmother teach everything to
Shampoo. But leader of Amazon village always, ALWAYS girl. Can no be boy.
Now Shampoo boy. No can lead.

Akane: That's no big deal. If you can't lead then you can't lead.

Soun: (Realizing there is more to it than that) So what happens to you
since you can't lead.

Shampoo-kun: Shampoo bring great dishonor if no can lead. It be bad if not
become leader because not fight well enough. But if not able to become
leader at all without fight. That even worse. (Starts to shudder. Kasumi
puts a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.)

Genma: What punishment would you receive for not being able to fight?

Shampoo: If that all to it, than at least be cast out from family and
tribe. No be allowed back into village, and exiled. That best case. If just
no could fight that probably all that happen. (Pauses.) But Shampoo also
have other problem. By becoming boy, Shampoo commit greatest crime of all.

Akane: What do you mean?

Shampoo: There no greater crime in Amazon village than to give up one's
womanhood and become man. These two bad things together mean Shampoo have
to kill self to show how sorry she is and bring honor back to family. It
happen before when less at stake.

Nabiki: But your grandmother is the leader. Can't she protect you?

Shampoo-kun: (Shakes head) It especially bad because Great Grandmother
leader. She be very disappointed someone else family lead village. Great
Grandmother get very angry when lose. This biggest loss of all. And when
she find out Shampoo boy...(Voice becomes softer.) You not know Great
Grandmother. She expect and demand Shampoo kill self to make up for lost
honor. 

This information sinks into everyone at table.

Nabiki: The answer's simple. She doesn't know you're a guy. So just remain
one until she leaves.

Shampoo-kun: (Shaking his head) That not work. Great Grandmother not leave
now she know Shampoo here. She stay until find, and eventually she figure
out what going on.

Akane: Even if she finds out we won't let her take you without a fight. 

Shampoo-kun: This Shampoo fight, not yours. Shampoo should leave and make
Great Grandmother come after her. Not want to see anyone get hurt.

Akane: (Slams her hand down) Forget it! I've made up my mind. If you go
I'll follow. There's no way I'm going to let her kill you.

Soun  and Genma look at each other then nod together.

Soun: The Anything Goes School of Martial Arts is ready to stand behind
you.

Nabiki: (Sincerely) If I can help I will.

Kasumi: You know I'll always be there.

Everyone looks to Ranma who has remained silent. He realizes its quiet and
looks up. He is scowling so hard his eyebrows practically touch.

Ranma: I won't let her touch you. 

Akane: It's decided. Everyone is in.

Shampoo-kun doesn't know how to react. He runs off crying. Akane gets up to
follow but Kasumi places a hand on her shoulder.

Kasumi: Let her be. She needs time to let this settle in.

Later, Shampoo-kun goes to the dojo. He sees Ranma-kun running through
katas alone. He appears more intense then usual. Shampoo-kun sits down to
watch. After a few moments Ranma speaks up without looking at Shampoo-kun.

Ranma: Why didn't you tell me? (He is still practicing his katas.)

Shampoo-kun: (Confused) Why not Shampoo tell you what?

Ranma: About your grandmother, and the real reason why you left the
village.

Shampoo-kun: Shampoo knew could no stay in village when fall into spring.
When meet you, Shampoo not know outside world, not speak much Japanese. You
know these things, so Shampoo want travel with you. If you find out travel
with Shampoo might bring trouble, Shampoo think you not want her go with
you. Then Shampoo all alone. Can no travel with Mousse, that for sure. 

Ranma: (Continuing with katas and still not looking at Shampoo-kun) Why
didn't you tell us after you got to know us?

Shampoo-kun: Shampoo not know how to tell since she no tell before. Make it
seem like  use you and Shampoo not do that. 

Ranma: (Angrily, but still doing his kata.) You should have trusted me. Pop
I could understand. I don't trust him most of the time. But me? Have I ever
done anything to make you think I would abandon you because of a little
trouble?

Shampoo-kun: No.

Ranma: (Moving with more speed through his katas and sounding even angrier)
So, even after you knew you could trust me, and I wouldn't run out on you,
you still didn't feel the need to tell me.

Shampoo-kun: (Voice starting to crack.) Shampoo explain to you, not know
how to tell.

Ranma: (Stops in mid motion in katas. Voice now calm.) You told Kasumi.

Shampoo-kun: (Stunned) What you mean?

Ranma: (Starts moving again. Voice still even.) I watched Kasumi the whole
time you were telling us about your grandma. She wasn't surprised in the
least. She already knew all about it. 

Shampoo-kun: (She hesitates for a few moments) Kasumi, different...

Ranma: (Finally stops. Turns abruptly upon Shampoo-kun, his face a mask of
fury.) So what you're saying is, you trusted somebody that you've known for
only several weeks more than someone you've known for several months.

Shampoo-kun: (Holds his head in his hands and starts to stammer.) Shampoo
not know... don't know how... 

He runs off trying hard not to cry and failing. Ranma just stands there for
a moment. The rage slips from his face and he suddenly looks very
uncertain. Akane comes into the dojo looking very displeased at Ranma.

Akane: What did you do to Shampoo?

Ranma: I didn't do nothin'.

Akane: Then why was she running from you and crying?

Ranma: (Snapping at Akane) Look it's between Shampoo and me! All right?

Akane: (Snapping back) No it is not all right! She's under a great deal of
pressure and your doing whatever it is you're doing to her isn't helping
things. This can wait until later.

Ranma: I just found out about it. I couldn't let it pass.

Akane: (Angrily) That is so typical of you. If you have a problem then you
have to solve it, no matter who gets trampled on in the process. Your
father's right. You do only think about yourself. (Turns to leave) I am
going to help Shampoo, because, unlike you, I do care about someone other
than myself. (Leaves.)

Ranma just stands there, uncertain what to do.

Akane is running through the neighborhood looking for Shampoo-kun. She is
surprised to see Shampoo-chan sitting out in the open on top of a building
with a water tower on it. She jumps up to confront the purple-haired girl.
When she gets up there she can see by the red rings under her eyes she has
been crying until recently.

Akane: (Calmly) It's dangerous for you to be out like this until we take
care of this grandmother business. Why don't we get you some water so you
can change?

Shampoo: It not matter Great Grandmother find or not. Shampoo no care
anymore. 

Akane: And why is that?

Shampoo: Ranma hate Shampoo.

Akane: Look, that jerk has all the sensitivity of a rock. Don't pay any
attention to what he says. (Growls) I know I don't. Whatever it is that has
got him angry at you is no big deal.

Shampoo: (Sadly) Ranma right to be angry. Shampoo know do bad thing but not
fix it. So should be punished.

Akane: And do you honestly believe that your grandmother finding you is the
solution to the problem?

Shampoo: (Hesitates) Shampoo not know what to think. Never been in
situation like this. Not know how deal with it.

Akane: Look we'll go inside, change you, and talk about it. O.K.

Shampoo nods her head in agreement. Just as both girls get up to leave a
person  behind them speaks up.

Cologne: (Politely) Please stay. I have a few questions to ask.

Akane and Shampoo turn and see the shriveled Amazon leader on top of her
gnarled staff. Their reactions differ. Shampoo covers her hands over her
mouth and Akane takes a defensive posture.

Akane: So you're her grandmother?

Cologne: (Still polite) Yes. But please, call me Cologne.

Akane: All right, Cologne it is. (Despite the friendly tone Akane maintains
her defensive posture.) I'm Akane Tendo.

Cologne: I am pleased to meet you. Now if you'll excuse us I have a few
things to discuss with my granddaughter.

Akane: I'm sorry but she really doesn't want to talk to you right now. Why
don't you go back to China and wait for her to work things out? I am sure
she'll come back when she's ready.

Cologne: (Starting to look annoyed) Shampoo is coming with me. She has many
things that she still has to do. Starting with telling me why she came to
Japan. (To Shampoo) 

Shampoo: 

Cologne: (Voice rising in anger) 

Akane: I don't know what you two are talking about but Shampoo is staying
here. Got it!

Cologne: This is none of your business, Akane Tendo. If you seek to
interfere with Amazon matters you will be dealt with in Amazon fashion.

Akane: Just try it. (Crouches getting ready to attack.)

We hear Ranma-kun's voice shout out.

Ranma: Stay away from them!

Ranma lands on top of the building behind Cologne. She turns to face this
new intruder. As she does so we see Ranma's reaction. Terror.

Ranma: Ahhhh! It's a dried up mummy! (He has his arms and hands up in the
universal Takahashi symbol of surprise. Two fingers extended outwards on
each hand. His ponytail is sticking straight out as well. )

Cologne: (Not feeling flattered by the case of mistaken identity.) I may be
old but I am not a mummy. Don't they treat you to respect your elders here
boy.

Ranma: (Calming down realizing it is, in fact, a living, human being.) Look
granny. Shampoo doesn't wanna go with you and that's final. So why don't
you just hop along back to China before we have to send you there. 

He puts his hand on Cologne's shoulder to reinforce his point. Bad mistake.
She places her hand on top of his and with a flick of the wrist flips him
fifteen feet away. Ranma recovers enough from his shock to land on his
feet. 

Ranma: You're a tricky old thing aren't you. (Rushes to attack again.)

Shampoo: (Shouting at the top of her lungs) Ranma stay away!

Cologne casually dodges his first two attempted blows and swats him between
the eyes with her staff. Ranma backs off for a moment to get his bearings
back.

Cologne: You have potential boy. You're pretty good.

Ranma: You ain't seen nuthin' yet.

Tries to use some Amazon techniques against her. Not a good idea since she
created many of them. She brushes him off easily again. He tries more
Anything Goes Techniques and is again swatted between the eyes for his
troubles. Shampoo gasps every time Ranma takes a blow.

Cologne: (Sounds like she has come to a conclusion) I think I understand
now. Shampoo, did this boy defeat you in combat and make you come to Japan
as his wife? You should have told me. I would have had a long talk with him
about the merits of Joketsuzoku. He is a good one, an excellent fighter.
Good looking as well. There would be no shame in losing to him.

Shampoo: (Blushes despite her fear) Shampoo not fight Ranma. He not
husband.

Cologne: (Angry again) Well then why did you come to Japan? There are many
important things for you to do back home. You don't have time for
vacations. (Smacks the attacking Ranma again.)

Shampoo: Shampoo can no tell.

Ranma: (Shouting) Quit talking like I'm not here and fight you old ghoul!

Cologne heeds his advise and casually tosses him through the chimney on the
roof. Akane stands between Shampoo-chan and Cologne once more. 

Akane: My turn now. 

She starts swinging at Cologne. The ancient Amazon even more casually
deflects her attacks.

Cologne: Not bad girl. I didn't know Japanese women could fight as well as
you. Ever consider becoming an Amazon. We are always willing to accept
those that can fight.

Ranma: (Only just now starting to pick himself up.) That brute would have
every women beat in that village in a week. If she can't take them in
combat all she would have to do is cook for 'em.

Akane: RANMA NO BAKA! (She runs over and pounds his head into the remains
of the chimney, knocking him out.)

Cologne touches the back of Akane's neck with her staff causing her to
collapse.

Cologne: (To Akane) Pressure Point Technique. Don't worry. You will fully
recover in a little while. (Turns to Shampoo) 

Shampoo: 

Cologne: 

Shampoo: 

Shampoo walks under the water tower. Cologne looks ready to pounce on her
if she tries to escape again. Shampoo jumps up and shatters the bottom of
the tower with her fist. As she lands the water hits her in a deluge. She
walks out from under the pouring water as Shampoo-kun.

Cologne just stands there with her mouth agape. It is the first time in a
hundred years she has been completely surprised and let her guard down. It
is, of course, at this moment that the recovered Ranma chooses to smash her
in the back of the head as hard as he can. She falls to the ground,
unconscious. Ranma looks over the prone body is if it is going to get up
and bite.

Ranma: Is it over?

Shampoo-kun: (Goes over to check on Cologne.) Sorry Great Grandmother.

She is unconscious but otherwise unharmed. She goes over to Akane and
undoes the pressure point. All three look over the mummy's prone form.

Akane: What do we do now?

Shampoo-kun: Can no kill, and once she recover have to fight again. Can no
get surprise next time.

Ranma-kun: I got an idea.

The scene changes to the ocean. We see a small wooden raft, with some
packages marked food and water, floating on it. In the center is Cologne
who is only now starting to stir. She sits up and assesses the situation.

Cologne: In Chinese 

She picks up her staff and places it in the water. She starts spinning it
faster and faster like a propeller. The raft begins to make its way back
towards Japan.

Epilogue

We see a mountain with a boulder blocking the mouth of a cave. There are
wards and symbols on it to prevent anyone from removing the makeshift door.
A lighting bolt crashes from the heavens and cracks open the rock. We see a
small figure in shadow crawl out of  the cave muttering to itself.

Figure: That was a nice little nap there. Now where was I. Oh yes! I was
going to get revenge on those two former students of mine. And I know just
how to do it. 

The figure starts cackling until a lightning bolt crashes into him.
Knocking him out.


End Notes:
Sorry if the Ryouga fight seemed to drag, but I wanted him to put in a good
showing since he got so little time in the last chapter. He's tough and
deserves some space devoted to his fighting skills. I know, this is the
second shark scene in three chapters. Don't hold your breath in waiting for
the next one. I ain't got a fetish for 'em. If it seemed Ranma fought dirty
in punching Cologne from behind while she was distracted, remember, this
was the first time he had ever been treated like a child by a superior
opponent. He certainly didn't expect her to get caught flatfooted as she
was. And he knew that Shampoo's life was involved. 

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/towers/5920