Here's Chapter 9
Ranma 1/2 Presents:
Shampoo 1/2
Chapter 9
Revenge is a Plant Best Served Cold
D.B. Sommer
Any C+C welcome
Standard Disclaimer:
All the Ranma 1/2 characters are not owned by me. They are owned by the
Goddess Takahashi and whomever she leased the rights to.
What's gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic.)
In the Beginning, the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou and began sparring,
not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already begun a duel there. One
mid-air collision, and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a
male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. [So Ranma/Ranma-kun= male.
Ranma-chan= female. Shampoo/ Shampoo-chan= female. Shampoo-kun= male.]
Shampoo elects to travel to Japan with Ranma and ends up briefly engaged to
Kasumi. After that is taken care of, Ranma is engaged to Akane. Water and
confusion mix on the first day of school and everyone believes Ranma-chan
is Shampoo and Shampoo-kun is Ranma. Last chapter, a demon had attacked
"Team Ranma" using their fears against them. Only Akane managed to conquer
her fear and helped the newly arrived Ghost Sweeper, Minami defeat the
creature. Now Mousse and Kodachi have finally made their way back to Japan
after being shipped around the world by Ranma and Shampoo. Now they have
revenge on their minds...
Want previous chapters? Azatlan has provided a home for Shampoo 1/2 at:
http://www.geocities.com/~azatlan/ (currently under
New stuff)
or you can email me at sommer@nb.net
Note: * * denotes panda "sign" language
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It was a humid day on the streets of downtown Nerima. Akane and Minami were
strolling the street, window shopping and having a pleasant conversation.
The two had hit it off pretty well since the fight with the Sanslaygh, and
had been spending a great deal of time together. Akane finally got around
to what she had wanted to ask the Ghost Sweeper.
"So, what do you think of school?"
Minami looked Akane in the eye and smiled, "I like hanging around normal
people my own age well enough. Now if only I could get rid of the school
work."
Akane was about to comment on how much she sounded like Ranma when a chain
whipped out from above and snared Minami, pinning her arms to her sides,
and pulled her up to the top of a nearby building. Akane stared upward and
spotted Mousse on the top of the building, balancing himself atop a
unicycle. The Chinese warrior tucked the entangled Ghost Sweeper under his
arm.
"I have you now Akane Tendo!"
Minami wasn't especially happy about the mix up and allowed her abductor to
know it,
"I am not Akane!"
Akane shook her head, "She's right. That isn't me."
Mousse adjusted his glasses and took a much closer look at Minami. He then
looked back down at the street towards Akane.
"I see. Sorry."
He whipped out another chain from his sleeve and encircled it around the
large statue of Cthulhu which sat in the center of Nerima. He pulled it up
as well, and placed it under his arm. Judging by his discomfort, Akane
figured he was about one minute away from blowing out a disc in his spinal
column.
"When did *huff* you put on so much weight Akane?"
She started to glow with anger, then, realizing who she was dealing with,
gave up.
"It's those between meal snacks."
"You may want to cut those out," Mousse gasped again. He somehow managed to
cycle off with Minami and the statue under his arms. Akane sighed quietly
to herself. If Mousse was back in town it meant trouble for her and the
others. She decided to locate Ranma and Shampoo and inform them about the
blind panda's return.
Mousse arrived an hour later at the greenhouse he and Kodachi were using
since their return to Nerima. He still found it remarkable that she had
managed to convert the entire thing into a tropical jungle in the first
week since their arrival. The jungle itself was lush and ominous, with
waterfalls, tall trees, and exotic animals laced throughout, making one
believe they had been transported to the very heart of South America. He
allowed his mind to drift back to the time he and Kodachi had traveled up
the Amazon River and nearly got hijacked by river pirates. He abruptly
broke off the pleasant memory, there was no time for reminiscing, he had
revenge to seek, and he wanted to inform his partner of the mission's
success. He located Kodachi, who was busy grooming one of her new plants
that had just arrived. The gymnast heard Mousse arrive and examined his two
captives.
"This is not Akane Tendo, Mousse darling," she pointed to Minami, "nor is
this." She examined the statue more closely, a smile creeping across her
face, "but it does possess a certain sort of charm. We shall leave it in
the center if the greenhouse for all to enjoy. Now Mousse, you know we must
capture Akane Tendo. You do want revenge on that Ranma Saotome, and I am
certain he will fall into our trap if we hold his fiancee hostage." The
Black Rose began grinning evilly, "Perhaps we will be fortunate enough for
that wicked Shampoo to join him. I would like to give her a taste of my
vengeance as well."
Mousse interrupted to cut off the direction the conversation started to
take. Kodachi seemed very single minded when it came to Shampoo, and that
didn't sit well with him, "I already told you, this isn't about Shampoo. I
won't let you harm her. The two of us are destined for one another." He
looked to the sky as though waiting for a response. No bolt of lightning
struck him, so he took it there were no objections.
"Mousse-sama, you're talking to the statue," he adjusted his glasses to
discover he was, and moved closer to Kodachi. "My poor, poor darling, when
will you realize I am the one for you and not that purple haired harlot?"
Mousse sighed. Talking to Kodachi was one thing, getting her to listen was
another. "Let me make this clear to you one more time: I want revenge on
Saotome. You volunteered to help me out. I did not ask for assistance, nor
will I let you harm Shampoo," he emphasized the last part of his statement.
Kodachi, naturally, listened only to the parts of the conversation she
wanted to hear. "Of course I am going to help you my dearest. What one of
us does, the other will follow. That is what true love is all about."
Mousse sighed again, "I'm really not getting through to you, am I?"
"The course of true love rarely is without difficulties. I will stand by
your side until you come to your senses."
Mousse threw up his hands in disgust, "I give up!" He really felt like
ramming his head into the nearest blunt object to relieve some of his
frustration.
Back at the Tendo Dojo, a large object was attempting to stealthily creep
around the inside of the house. Genma paused at a corner of the doorway to
the kitchen, listened, and then slowly peeked around it. Once he ascertained
the room was clear, he tiptoed into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator,
whispering softly.
"Come to me precious."
He rifled through the appliance and pulled out a large dish full of food.
He continued sneaking about until he made it out the door of the dojo and
gave a mad dash for freedom.
"Now all of this is mine. HAHAHAHA!"
Back inside the kitchen, Kasumi walked in and opened the door to the
refrigerator, searching within for the missing item.
"Now where did Akane's food go?"
Out on the streets of Nerima, Mousse had finally come up with a plan to
(successfully) kidnap Akane. The most reasonable place to find her would be
the Tendo Dojo. Having nothing better to do he started ranting to himself.
"Saotome's a dead man. No one kidnaps Shampoo, turns me into a panda, and
gets away with it. And that's not to mention being shipped off..." His
voice trailed off for a moment, then began again, sounding less angry.
"Well, traveling around the world was kind of nice and interesting. If only
it could have been with my Shampoo." The voice picked up a tone of anger
again, "He's the one responsible for keeping us apart. But this trap will
change everything. We still need Akane as..." He was cut off as a little
old lady with a bucket splashed him with water. Mousse-panda continued his
rant in "sign language."
*...bait and must capture her at all costs. HAHAHAHAHA!*
Kasumi was busy cleaning, worrying about what happened to the food. No one
was sick and it wasn't likely to have wandered off on its own. Unless,
somehow, Akane had made a dish that had become alive. Given her sister's
abilities in the kitchen it wasn't likely, but not really impossible
either. Kasumi considered watching over her more closely, just in case,
when she heard the doorbell chime. Kasumi made her way to the door, and
opened it. She discovered Mousse-panda waiting for her, bearing a sign
which read,
*I have you now Akane Tendo!*
Kasumi smiled at the mistake, "Oh silly. I'm not Akane."
Mousse-panda adjusted his glasses, *You're not?*
"No. Now, exactly why did you want Akane?"
*I just needed to kidnap her so Ranma would come after her and fall into my
trap. She isn't here, is she?*
"No, she isn't," Kasumi paused for a moment, "I'll tell you what I can do
though. Ranma and I get along pretty well. If you take me, he would
probably come."
*Are you sure you don't mind?*
"Of course not. Just let me grab a few things. Come inside and get some hot
water while you wait." She ushered the panda inside and showed him the
kitchen while she went upstairs to pack some necessities. Passing Nabiki's
open door, she observed her sister laying on her bed, looking bored and
reading a magazine. The second time she passed by Nabiki took notice.
"What's going on?"
Kasumi smiled, "I'm being kidnapped. Would you like to come along?"
Nabiki gave her sister a flat stare. "You've got to be kidding," she commented
dryly, and returned to paging through her magazine. "I am perfectly happy
reading," she paused in thought for a moment, then got up from her bed.
"Oh, who am I trying to kid? If I get any more bored I'm going to slip into a
coma. I guess I'll come along," she grabbed a few things and joined Kasumi,
who had been waiting patiently for her. "Who's grabbing us?"
"Mr. Mousse. You know, the one that turns into that cute panda."
"I know who Mousse is," she replied out loud. She then thought, "This
situation might prove profitable. Mousse ranks up there with Ranma in the
brains department."
Once downstairs, Kasumi informed her now human abductor of the change in
plans.
"My sister is coming along. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all."
Nabiki looked Mousse over, "So how much are you ransoming us for?"
Mousse became confused, "Ransom?"
"Yes. When you kidnap someone, you generally hold them for ransom," Nabiki
replied in a tired voice.
Mousse started to scratch his head, "Actually, we just want Ranma to come
and rescue you."
Nabiki held her hand before her, grossly insulted. "I beg your pardon. You
are not kidnapping me and not asking for a large ransom. Let me see your
note."
"My note?"
"Yes," exasperation crept into her voice, "if you kidnap everyone, how will
the others know what to do unless you leave a note?"
He started sweating bullets, "I never thought of that. This is my first
kidnapping."
"It shows."
Kasumi was practically jumping up and down in excitement, "Oh! Let me write
the note. It sounds like fun."
Nabiki couldn't argue with her sister's enthusiasm. "Sure. Go right ahead."
The eldest Tendo grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. "We'll make it sound
sinister," she began writing, saying out loud what she was putting on paper.
"Dear Ranma and Akane."
"Just make it Ranma and Akane," Nabiki interrupted.
"I don't want to be rude," Kasumi protested.
"Fine."
Kasumi continued, "Kasumi and Nabiki have been taken..."
"Make it kidnapped. It sounds better."
Kasumi paused and made the correction, "Right. Kidnapped. Do not call the
authorities."
"Make it police. We're dealing with Ranma here, so the smaller the words
the better," Nabiki reminded.
Mousse finally added something to his ransom note, "And tell them to leave
Shampoo behind. I don't want her getting hurt."
Kasumi nodded, "Of course. Police, and do not let Shampoo come along. Go
to...where are we going Mr. Mousse?"
"The Black Rose's Floral Shoppe."
"All right. The Black Rose's Floral Shoppe. If these demands are not met,
something terribly not nice will happen to them."
"Nice touch," Nabiki added, "Vague, but frightening. People come up with
worse things using their imagination than if you are specific in your
threat."
"Don't worry, we won't hurt you, just Ranma," Mousse reassured the two.
"Well, that's O.K.," Nabiki turned to her sister, "Oh, and Kasumi, tell
them to also bring three thousand yen for the ransom."
"That's a bit much, don't you think?"
"That's just for me. How much do you want to go for?"
Kasumi paused in thought, "We'll just say I'm included in the price."
Nabiki shrugged, "Suit yourself."
"The money isn't important," Mousse felt the temperature in the room drop
ten degrees from the icy stare Nabiki leveled at him. "On the other hand
three thousand sounds fine."
Kasumi finished the note and signed it, "There! All done. We can go now."
The trio headed off for The Black Rose's Shoppe. Nabiki began listing her
demands for allowing herself to be kidnapped.
"I refuse to be tied up. I expect good food and a chance to shower if I
feel like it. I have to be back by tomorrow because I have some important
people to meet..." she continued until the trio arrived at the converted
greenhouse. Kodachi appeared somewhat confused when she saw the new victims.
"These two are not Akane Tendo either, Mousse."
"They are the next best thing. They're her sisters. With them, Ranma and
Akane will surely come." He thought himself pretty clever for coming up
with that one.
Kodachi was not so certain, "I hope you're right. Still, I would like to
have Akane in hand before confronting Ranma." She picked up a folded outfit
that was laying on a table nearby. "I will try one last time to ambush her
before she discovers her family's absence. Take care of these two." The
Black Rose left the premises in a rather subdued manner.
Nabiki turned to Mousse, "I want a steak dinner and some champagne. And not
the cheap stuff."
"I'll just have some okonomiyaki," Kasumi added.
Mousse scratched his head, "I'm not sure that's what she meant when she
said I'm supposed to take care of you."
Nabiki saw this was going to take a little maneuvering, "I am going to see
Shampoo later. You do want me to tell her you treated us nicely, don't
you?" That got the desired effect.
"Of course, I don't want her to think badly of me," he paused, "even if I
have kidnapped you. My apologies."
Nabiki smiled. Sometimes it was too easy, "Well then, get on it. Ranma
could be here any minute."
"Right." The kidnapper headed out the door to meet with his abductees'
demands.
Genma was sitting on a bench in the middle of the park, an empty dish
beside him. He was clutching his stomach and appeared to be in a great deal
of pain.
"Maybe I should have taken enough time to taste the food before I ate it. I
feel terrible." A giant spatula buried itself on top of his head. "Now I
feel a lot worse."
Sure enough, it was Ukyou who struck Genma.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the old man who made my life a living hell.
And here, I was just thinking how I never got a chance to properly thank
you for that." The smile did not bode well for the overweight martial
artist.
"Ummm...You're welcome?"
Ukyou grinned even wider, "The pleasure is going to be all mine."
Only the squirrels witnessed the sight of Ukyou's righteous anger and
Genma's much deserved beating.
Back at the Tendo Dojo, Soun had returned from buying a pack of cigarettes.
Upon entering the house he called out to locate anyone, but received no
response.
"Where is everybody?"
The doorbell rang and startled Soun. He opened the door to see Kodachi
disguised as a floral delivery woman and bearing a bouquet of black roses.
"Flowers for Akane Tendo."
"She isn't here."
Kodachi pouted, "Very well. I suppose I will simply have to settle for
you." She thrust the bouquet into Soun's face. It only took a moment for
the paralysis powder to do its job. "Miss Tendo is a very difficult woman
to find. I just hope she will come for this one. I know I wouldn't rescue
that insane pineapple people call my father." Kodachi afforded a look
around the house and spotted the ransom note. Her eyes played across the
words and she picked up a pen. "Hmmm? We'll just change the part about 'no
Shampoo' to 'bring Shampoo.'" She made the corrections. "There. Now off we
go." She dragged Soun's unconscious form behind her on the way back to the
arboretum.
A few hours later, Akane, Ranma-kun, and Shampoo-chan finally returned to
the dojo. Both Ranma and Shampoo had a pair of roller skates slung over
their backs. Akane was clearly in one of her "Ranma has screwed up again
moods."
"I can't believe how long it took for me to find you. And what were you two
doing roller skating?"
Ranma and Shampoo looked at one another in unspoken communication.
"Well, after that little brawl with 'The Golden Pair', Shampoo and I
discovered we liked skating. It ain't no big deal. Why you gettin' mad?"
Ranma was really not in the mood for her irrational anger. Sometimes she
made it seem he wasn't allowed to do anything on his own.
"I am not angry!" neither Ranma nor Shampoo bought it since she was glowing
dull blue.
The trio entered the house and immediately felt something was wrong. They
couldn't find anyone at the house and began a search. Shortly after it had
begun, a battered looking Genma entered the house. Shampoo noticed him
first.
"What happen Pop?"
"Oh, just a heavy case of food poisoning and bludgeoning from a spatula
wielding maniac."
Ranma buried his fist in Genma's face. "Don't call Ucchan a maniac you fat
tub of goo. You hurt her pretty bad, and I still haven't forgiven you for
stabbing her in the back. I'm just lucky she realizes I didn't know what
was goin' on and forgives me." Ranma turned his attention from his father
as he spotted the ransom letter. He quickly read through it, "Oh no!"
Akane became concerned, "What is it?
"It says your family has been kidnapped by..." Ranma got to the bottom of
the letter, a confused expression appeared on his face, "...Kasumi?"
"What are you talking about?"
Ranma read it over again, "Well it's a ransom note but it's signed 'Love,
Kasumi.'" He handed Akane the note. Sure enough it said exactly what Ranma
read.
"Those jerks! They must have made Kasumi write the note. When I get my
hands on them..." her threat trailed off as she clenched her fist and
started glowing bright blue.
"You know what this means?" Ranma looked his compatriots over.
Genma stared him in the eye, "We have the place to ourselves?"
Everyone hit Genma.
"No! We go rescue Kasumi, Mr. Tendo, and Stupid Mercenary Girl." Shampoo
corrected him, and added another blow for good measure.
Akane wasn't going to let the reference to her older sister pass, "Don't
call Nabiki stupid!"
"She not responsible for you get attacked everyday by girls that try get
date with you. Shampoo call Mercenary Girl whatever she want!"
Ranma decided to step in and play peacemaker for a change. "Look, why don't
we rescue them first, then argue," he then addressed Shampoo directly,
"Besides, Stupid Extortionist Girl is a lot more accurate than Stupid
Mercenary Girl."
"RANMA NO BAKA!!!" Transdimensional hammer time.
The four companions set off for the Black Rose's Shoppe. At the said
establishment, the hostages were on a balcony that overlooked part of the
greenhouse, with Mousse and Kodachi standing nearby on a tall plant
discussing strategy for when Ranma and Akane would show up. There was no
apparent way down from the balcony other than making a twenty foot drop to
the greenhouse floor. Of the hostages, Minami was the only one tied up and
gagged, as she was the only one actively contesting her predicament. The
Tendos were in a circle, sipping drinks and playing a board game. Nabiki
was rolling the dice.
Soun was unusually happy, "We don't get many chances to do this sort of
father-daughter bonding." Nabiki moved her piece.
Kasumi smiled at her sister, "Oh! You've landed on Boardwalk, again. This
time it has two hotels, which means you pay..."
"I know what I have to pay," Nabiki snapped back. She took a few moments to
finish counting her money and came to a conclusion. "Mind if I get a loan
sis?"
Kasumi scrunched her face and deepened her voice to do a darn good impression
of Nabiki. "You've got to be kidding," She relaxed her face and smiled
pleasantly once again. Nabiki was not amused.
"Fine. Mock me if you will, but this is only a game of chance. It is
nothing like the real world. It doesn't require actual skill."
Kasumi maintained her smile, "That's what you said the last two times you
lost. Want to make it four in a row?"
"You better believe it. And I'm taking you down for sure this time," Nabiki
wasn't about to let that challenge go. If it involved money, she knew she
could beat her sister. As she began plotting her revenge, a voice suddenly
resounded throughout the greenhouse.
"My twisted sister, hear me! It is I, Tatewaki Kunou, your sibling."
Kodachi turned towards Kunou, "I'm well aware of who you are brother dear.
What do you want?"
"Sasuke informs me that you are in possession of one Nabiki Tendo. I demand
her return."
Nabiki heaved herself to her feet and looked over the balcony, a stunned
expression upon her face. "You came to rescue me?"
Kunou smiled, "Of course, who else could provide me with such professional
quality photos of my two true loves?"
Nabiki gave a little smile back, "I should have known," Surprisingly, she
didn't look disappointed. "Did you bring the three thousand yen?"
"So much! Still, if that is what will set you free, then so be it."
Kunou began to posture and deliver a speech on how human life could not be
measured by money when Kodachi, realizing what her brother was up to, cut
him off, "Don't be foolish brother dear. If you desire Nabiki Tendo then
you may have her. After all, you are the one who gave me permission to
travel with my true love on the journey that set our passion, and the
world, aflame."
She held her hand to her head and sighed, as though overcome with the
memory, while Mousse noticed he was suddenly the center of attention. He
blushed, placed his hand behind his head in a very Ryouga-like manner, and
gave an embarrassed chuckle.
Nabiki raised her eyebrow, "I didn't know you had it in you."
Mousse realized they way things sounded and quickly tried to cover himself,
"It wasn't that way at all. I mean...she drugged me."
Kodachi sounded wistful, "I gave you a mild aphrodisiac. Your reaction was
anything but mild." Her face blushed from the memory, making Mousse become
even more red.
"I hope you will do the proper thing," Kasumi spoke softly to the boy.
Kodachi wrapped her ribbon around Nabiki and gently set her down next to
Kunou.
"Truly that blind fool is good for my sister. She rarely attempts to drug
me anymore and we have actually been getting along." The pair began to walk
off together.
"Well, you came to rescue me. No good deed should go unrewarded. How about
five percent off the next batch of twenty photos you purchase?" Nabiki
offered.
"Truly you are a shrewd businesswoman."
"Ohhh! Flattery. Just for that, you get seven percent off the next batch of
thirty photos. But don't think it'll work more than once."
"I wouldn't dream of it Nabiki Tendo," the duo left.
The four would be rescuers finally arrived at the Black Rose's Shoppe. Upon
entering the structure they saw the vast rain forest before them.
Ranma realized they could be anywhere in the vast jungle. "It's gonna take
forever to find them. Maybe we'd better split up. Pop take the center,
Shampoo take the left, me an' Akane will take the right."
Akane appeared displeased, "Why do I have to go with you?"
"Because I don't want you to get into trouble."
"Oh. So you don't think I can handle myself?"
"No. It ain't like that." Actually, it was exactly like that, but Ranma was
damned if he was going to say it out loud.
"Last time I checked, I was the only one who managed to conquer their fear,
and confront the Sanslaygh. Isn't that right Ranma?" She gave a smirk in
his direction.
Ranma didn't appreciate the cheap shot. He hated having his face rubbed
into that failure. He noticed Shampoo subconsciously rubbing her neck at
the reference.
Akane took his silence as an endorsement. "Fine, then you go with Shampoo.
I'll take the left," and with that she tromped off into the jungle.
Shampoo turned to Ranma, "It quicker if we all split up. You no mind
Ranma?"
"Nah! You can handle yourself," she started to run off, but just as she was
about to get out of sight Ranma called out to her, "Umm. Be careful
though."
She turned, smiled in acknowledgment, gave a little wink, and rushed off
into the verdant greenery.
Genma plodded through the bush and was the first to find one of the
opponents, Mousse. The warrior stood in the middle of the path, hands
concealed in his sleeves.
"So, at last we meet, one on one, Genma Saotome. He who spawned that enemy
against women, Ranma."
"Boy, you have no idea what kind of a rotten day I've had. I think I'll
take out my frustrations on you," Genma cracked his knuckles and moved
forward to attack.
Four blows later.
"You didn't even provide a good warm up you fat oaf." Mousse wrapped a
chain around the unconscious Genma and stalked off with the fat man in tow.
Elsewhere in the jungle, Akane was walking through a more heavily forested
area of the greenhouse.
"Just how big is this thing?"
Her reverie was interrupted when a piece of ribbon flew out from a tree and
wrapped itself around her wrists like a pair of handcuffs. She tried to
break free, but the harder she attempted to tear the ribbon the tighter it
got.
"OHHOHOHOHO!" Akane gazed upward to see Kodachi standing on a tree branch
above her. "You have fallen into my trap Akane Tendo. No substitutes can
save you this time. Just come along quietly."
"Yeah, right," Akane sneered. And with that, Akane jumped up, kicking the
branch Kodachi was standing on, and shattered it.
The Black Rose prevented her fall by using her ribbon to lash onto another
branch and gracefully land several meters away.
"You are only making this harder on yourself."
She began hurling pins at Akane. The first struck Tendo in the knee, the
second in the head. Akane decided she wasn't going to play the pigeon in a
shooting gallery and raced forward, managing to avoid two more pins thrown
at her. She then executed a leaping tuck and roll and came up in a stand
next to Kodachi. She grabbed the Black Rose by the throat and started choking.
"Where is my family?"
The gasping Black Rose didn't try to answer. Instead, she pulled a compact
out of her leotard and held it in front of Akane's face. Akane made the
mistake of loosening her grip in surprise, providing Kodachi enough breath
to let out a puff and blow the powder into Akane's face, which caused her
to slump to the ground, unconscious.
Kodachi stood there clutching her throat. "You are fortunate indeed that I
need you intact, else something...terrible would happen to you." The evil
glint in her eye made one certain she meant every word she said. She
wrapped her ribbon around Akane and dragged her off, making sure to hit
every bump and rock on the way back.
Ranma walked through the jungle, looking about cautiously. He sensed an
attack and jumped out of the way just as a dozen knives embedded themselves
in the tree that was behind him. He observed Mousse removing himself from
his concealed spot behind a thick tangle of shrubs.
"At last we meet again Saotome. Today my revenge becomes complete."
"Look, If you weren't such a helpless moron, I would feel sort of sorry for
locking you up with that psycho gymnast."
"Don't call her a psycho! She's just misunderstood."
Ranma's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "You seem awful eager to defend her.
Something going on between the two of you?"
"No! Of course not. Don't be silly," To Ranma, it appeared he was a little
to quick with the answer and seemed to be acting just a bit guiltily.
"Well, if you two are getting along, shouldn't you be thanking me for
bringing you together?"
Mousse shook his head, "It's not that way. Besides, you were just trying to
get rid of a problem. Well now you have two. I still want revenge for your
defeating me, kidnapping Shampoo, and for knocking her into that Spring of
Drowned Young Man." His voice became much more quiet, "You have no idea of
what that simple act set into motion."
Now that angered Ranma, he knew damn well what was going on, "Look, I'd
give anything in the world to take that day back. It's complicated me and
Shampoo's life helplessly, but I can't. I know that Shampoo's on the run,
but I don't have a cure for you, me, or her. Anyway, it ain't like it
wasn't your idea to fight there anyhow."
"Don't you try to blame this on me. If you hadn't been there, she would
never have fallen into Nanniichuan, I would have beaten her, and we would
already be married now. Probably with a nice big family well on the way,
and we would be building an addition for a nursery and..." A smile crept
across Mousse's face as he thought about what might have been. Ranma
interrupted the fantasy.
"Believe me when I tell you Shampoo is a lot happier being a guy if the
alternative is marrying you."
Mousse exploded in rage, "You bastard! I am a much better husband than you
would ever be!"
"Whoa! Slow down panda-boy," Ranma held up his hands in a warding gesture.
"I ain't marrying her. I'm not even going to marry my fiancee."
"Don't lie to me Saotome. I can see the lust in your eyes."
"No. What you see in my eyes is called contempt, and it's for you."
Mousse laughed, "You can't fool me. Why else would you let her stay with
you? Admit it, you're just using her because you want her for yourself."
Mousse smiled at Ranma, "You aren't the only one. Many males in the tribe
have tried to defeat her in combat. The beauty she possesses is enough to
drive most men wild with desire, even me. I would do anything for her love."
"Sorry 'pal', you got it all wrong. I like her for who she is, not what she
looks like. She's one of the best friends I ever had," Ranma gave Mousse a
pitiful look, "Guess you're blind in more ways than one."
Mousse either ignored or missed the comment, "Give up Saotome. I've already
captured your father."
"You make it sound like that's some kind of accomplishment." Ranma replied
dryly.
Mousse considered that for a moment, "Well, I guess you do have a point. At
any rate, I've heard enough out of you."
Mousse hurled several shurikens at Ranma. Ranma evaded the attack and
planted a kick in Mousse's gut. The blind one activated his long elbow
blades and slashed at Ranma, who dodged out of the way as one of the blades
went clean through the tree behind him, severing it in half. Ranma unloaded
several blows at the blades and shattered the metal. He then connected with
a palm thrust to Mousse's jaw. The warrior backed up.
"Maybe you should change panda-boy?"
"No need to Saotome."
With that he pulled out a long pole with a fake duck on the end of it and
extended it towards Ranma. Ranma moved his head out of the way, but the
duck stopped just before it would have hit him. Ranma moved his head back
in front of the duck to give it a closer examination. As he moved his in
front of it, a boxing glove on the end of a spring suddenly popped out and
nailed Ranma right between the eyes. Mousse retracted the pole and duck.
"Why you..." Ranma wasn't pleased with being made a fool of and was going
to let Mousse let him know his feelings on the matter.
Mousse hurled another duck on the end of a pole at Ranma. This time when he
moved his head out of the way he didn't place it back in the way of the
incoming waterfowl.
"You ain't getting me with the same trick twice."
Mousse gave a sinister smile, "It's not the same trick."
A mist sprayed out of the ducks mouth and created a fog around Ranma. He
began clawing at his eyes.
"WHAT IS THAT STUFF!" Ranma felt like someone had dumped kerosene in his
eyes, and was finding it nearly impossible to see through his tears.
"It's called mace."
"Fighting dirty...should have known," Ranma bellowed as he tried to see
through his tear filled eyes.
Mousse chuckled, "Fighting dirty? There is no such thing. It's just less
fighting less honestly then usual. I learned that from Kodachi."
Mousse started toying with Ranma, not even bothering to employ weapons. He
just used normal punches and kicks. Ranma tried to fight back, but was so
blind he couldn't even defend himself. After connecting about ten times,
Mousse really began to laugh.
"I should have thought of this a long time ago. Pounding on you is fun."
Ranma homed in on the sound of the voice and made a quick grab for Mousse's
face. He came back with the prize, Mousse's glasses.
"Wh...what? I can't see." The blind man began to stagger around.
"Like that's unusual."
Ranma's turn for revenge. He started striking Mousse, who was still
complaining loudly about being blind. Ranma was smart enough to remain
silent while he started connecting with several solid blows.
"Give me back my glasses Ranma!"
"Glad to." Ranma tightened his grip and destroyed the glasses. "Ooops.
Guess I broke 'em. Now if I wasn't blind, I bet that wouldn't have
happened."
Mousse's voice dropped to a low rumble, "You'll pay for that."
Mousse leaped into the air, curled into a ball, then uncurled himself,
releasing a volley of chained weapons. One with a spiked mace on the end
struck Ranma in the ribs and hurled him into a nearby stream, changing him
to Ranma-chan. Just as she stood up in the stream, an idea occurred to her.
She began splashing water in her eyes in an attempt to wash out the foreign
substance. After a few moments, enough of her vision returned through
bloodshot eyes to make out Mousse. Ranma-chan moved in for an attack, while
Mousse was busy emptying his pockets and throwing a variety of weapons in
every direction. He pulled out a pair of glasses and drew back to throw
them.
"Wait a minute," he realized what he was handling and placed them on his
face. "Forgot I had these."
The first thing he focused on was Ranma-chan's fist hitting his face.
Mousse moved back, stunned.
"You just don't get it, do you Saotome?" He shook his head to clear out the
cobwebs, "This place is one big trap designed defeat you." Mousse pulled
on a vine next to him, causing it to fall out of the tree and land on his
head.
"You gonna tie me up? I think your new girlfriend would have more fun with
that than I would," Ranma-chan smirked.
"How did you know she likes..." he trailed off, shaking his head. "That has
nothing to do with us. I just pulled the wrong vine. Here's the right one."
He pulled the vine next to it, causing a dozen spears shoot out of the
underbrush. While Ranma-chan was busy dodging them, Mousse pulled a third
vine, releasing a log which came sailing out of a tree. Ranma-chan broke it
in half with a kick, then moved in on Mousse, who reluctantly gave ground.
Elsewhere. Shampoo was making her way through the brush, when she heard
familiar, insane laughter. She spotted Kodachi standing in front of a tree.
"OHHOHOHOHO! If it isn't the little philistine."
"Shampoo not Philly cheese steak!"
Kodachi sighed, "I forgot, you're intellectually impaired. We'll just go
with bimbo from now on."
"What you want with Kasumi, Crazy Gymnast Girl?"
Kodachi smiled, "I wanted to lead Ranma and yourself to your doom. And it
looks like I have succeeded."
She pulled a hoop from her leotard and threw it high above Shampoo's head.
Shampoo remembered the boomerang pin and tracked the hoops progress. It
traveled high into the tree Shampoo was standing next to and severed a
bunch of banana, which struck Shampoo in the face, causing quite a mess.
She looked back down just in time to have a pineapple, thrown by Kodachi,
impact and burst all over her face.
"I haven't made fruit salad in years," Kodachi laughed.
Shampoo wiped the majority of the fruit off her face, and looked above
Kodachi
"You forget coconut."
Shampoo drew her sword and threw it, like a spear, high into the tree behind
Kodachi.
"Your aim is off you purple..." A coconut fell from the tree above and hit
her in the head. Kodachi's hands went to her skull. "You wicked, wicked
girl! I was going easy on you because I knew Mousse would not approve of me
harming you. But I see you leave me no choice."
She pushed in a knot of wood on the tree that the coconut fell from. Part
of the ground Shampoo stood on raised itself and hurled her into a covered
pit. As she stood up in the pit, she noticed two eyes glaring at her. The
orbs belonged to the hungry tiger waiting for its meal.
"You have a fun time dear." Kodachi skipped away, laughing her insane
cackle, leaving the girl with the tiger.
Mousse continued fleeing from Ranma-chan, finally jumping on a gigantic plant
stem where Kodachi was now waiting for him. Ranma-chan could see the balcony
holding the remaining Tendo's and Minami from the ground. He looked up to see
Akane was now wrapped up in, and hanging from, some chains attached to the
ceiling. Genma was in a cage hanging from the ceiling as well. Kasumi waved to
Ranma as he planned the best way to bring about a rescue.
"Get me down from here!" Akane yelled at Ranma.
Genma didn't want to be forgotten, "No boy! Save me first."
Ranma-chan turned to Kodachi and Mousse. "I'll make a deal with you. Give
me back Kasumi, Mr. Tendo, and Minami, and I won't hurt you."
"What about me?" Akane grumbled.
"I thought you could handle yourself," Ranma-chan taunted. She was still
sore about the fear comment, but relented anyway, "Ah. Give me Akane too."
"Not a chance," Mousse responded.
"All right. You can keep Akane if you want her that bad."
Akane's battle aura began to glow and the chains started to bulge, "RANMA.
YOU'D BETTER HOPE THEY DON"T RELEASE ME!!!"
"What about me boy?" Ranma-chan just gave Genma an icy glare.
"Look. I ain't taking the old man back no matter what. You're stuck with him."
"That's not what we mean," Kodachi broke in, "You see, you have fallen into
our ultimate trap. Behold!"
Kodachi held her arms out and a huge plant she and Mousse were standing
next to began to move. A huge oval shaped bulb on the end of the stem
opened up, revealing a mouth with sharp pointed teeth inside. (Similar to
the plant in "Little Shop of Horrors" only much, much bigger.)
Kodachi smiled in ecstasy. "Witness the awesome power of a genuine South
American man eating plant, or in this case, a Ranma Eating Plant. We found
him while on our extended vacation. He was shipped here just last week and
is hungry. Aren't you precious?" She made little kissing noises in the
plant's direction, then spoke to it, "Now, sic her!"
The plant roared to the skies and then moved it's head to attack. Kodachi
and Mousse remained on their plant, watching the Ranma Eater try to devour
its prey.
Ranma-chan evaded the first two attempts by the plant to devour her, then
started looking for a way out. "The plant's got roots. All I have to do is
get out of it's reach."
She tried to run out of the plant's reach, but that tactic had been
anticipated by Kodachi. She let out a shrill whistle. Huge strands of what
appeared to be webbing extended themselves from the trees and interlocked,
many of the strands shooting up into the ceiling. Once complete, a huge
spider web reaching from tree to tree, as well as the ceiling, effectively
sealed off the portion of the greenhouse Ranma-chan and the plant were in.
Ranma-chan examined the new barrier, unimpressed, "Like this is gonna stop
me."
She reached out to pull away part of the webbing. She touched it then
quickly drew back, gasping in pain. A small trickle of blood dripped from
a cut that had formed where she touched the web.
"What the heck?!"
"That's no mere spider web," Kodachi informed her opponent, "It is formed
with razor wire. Touch it, and be sliced to ribbons. Now, remain where you
are and prepare to be devoured."
The plant continued its assault. After many leaps and bounds, Ranma-chan
eventually got backed into a tree with nowhere to run. The plant reached
forward, mouth wide open, then stopped, no more than a foot away from her.
It then curled back and looked at Kodachi, and muttered something
unintelligible to everyone but its mistress.
Kodachi sounded annoyed, "What do you mean, 'Is she white meat or dark
meat?'" The plant muttered again, and the Black Rose answered once more, "I
don't care what you are in the mood for. Just eat her!"
The plant looked at Ranma-chan, then turned back to Kodachi and muttered
something yet again.
"I know she doesn't look like much," Kodachi sounded very annoyed now,
"I'll tell you what. I'll get you an entire cow afterwards if you are still
hungry, is that all right?"
The plant considered, then nodded
"Good! Now devour her!"
Just as the plant moved forward once again a loud noise was heard from the
other side of the web. A sword suddenly cut through some of the razor wire
and Shampoo rushed quickly through the opening.
Mousse began jumping up and down in joy. "Shampoo my love, you have come
for me at last." A huge tiger rushed through the opening hot on the tail of
Shampoo. Mousse looks at Kodachi, "Why is Mr. Meow after Shampoo?"
Kodachi couldn't help appearing like a child caught with her hand on the
cookie jar. "She must have come to save the Tendo's," she then slowly
added, "and maybe I ran into her."
Mousse frowned, "I told you not to involve her."
"It's not my fault. Besides, she hit me in the head with a coconut for no
reason."
"Well you have to expect that from her. She hits me all the time for no
reason."
"Shampoo hit Mousse all time because he annoying pest that not know when to
give up!" Shampoo knew she should have expected that sort of comment from
him, but it still irritated her to no end.
Ranma-chan had remained quiet and stood motionless for the entire exchange.
The reason being that her eyes had locked onto one thing, and one thing
only. Mr. Meow.
"C-C-C-C-C-C-C-AT!!!"
And with that declaration, Ranma-chan ran up the tree and clutched onto a
branch for dear life, looking down in terror at the tiger. Mr. Meow sensed
the fear in the newcomer and ran under the tree, trying to climb up it and
roaring with all his might. Everyone paused to watch the bizarre display of
man and cat.
Realization hit Genma, "Oh no. Not now."
Akane turned far enough to look at the old man, "Not now what?"
"The boy is afraid of one thing and one thing only. Cats."
Shampoo appeared confused, "How come?"
Genma sighed, "It has to do with the Cat Fist training he received as a
youth." Genma described the process of wrapping young Ranma up in various
fish products and throwing him into pits with hundreds of hungry cats. He
explained how he did it day in and day out until Ranma snapped and came out
meowing.
Akane's eyes were open wide in shock, "What kind of a father are you?"
"Pop. We gonna have long talk about this later," Shampoo waved her sword
menacingly at Genma.
Even Kodachi was sickened, "That is beyond demented, even by my standards.
You are truly a warped individual."
Genma paused to consider that comment, "Somehow, coming from you, I really
am horrified by what I have done." Surprisingly he sounded sincere.
Meanwhile, Ranma-chan had finally snapped. She curled up and started hissing
like a cat. Mr. Meow, bewildered by the turn of events, stopped roaring, and
began to slink away rather than be confronted by the bizarre human. He didn't
move fast enough, as Ranma-chan hissed and leaped after the tiger. Just as she
is about to hit the tiger, she was snatched in mid-air by the Ranma Eating
Plant and swallowed whole. The plant turned and looked expectantly at Kodachi,
who patted him on the head.
"Good plant."
"At last, victory!" Mousse held his fist up high.
Shampoo and Akane together shouted, "RANMA!"
The plant remained where it was, a large grin on his mouth. Suddenly, the
smile disappeared as the plants jaws started to move violently, as though
something was trying to get out. The violence increased, causing the head
to shift and turn until finally, a figure burst through the side of the
mouth, making a huge gaping hole in it. The plant recoiled in pain as
Ranma-chan ripped through it using the Cat Fist. Kodachi looked on,
horrified.
"My poor, poor Ranma Eating Plant!"
She began to cry as Mousse placed his hands on her shoulders, trying to
comfort her, "I have bandages. I'm sure we can fix him." He pulled out a
huge ace bandage and the two tried to bind the wounds on the mouth.
While the duo were distracted, Shampoo jumped up and severed the chains
binding Akane. She then cut one of the chains loose and threw it to the
Soun and Kasumi. Soun lowered his daughter to the ground safely, then
climbed down. Shampoo turned her attention to the still feline-like
Ranma-chan, who had backed Mr. Meow into a corner. Ranma-chan continued
hissing at the tiger until Shampoo slowly walked over, bent down, and held
out her hand, trying to calm Ranma-chan and get her to walk over to the
Amazon. After much cajoling, Ranma-chan calmed down and walked over.
Shampoo began to pet her on the head, relaxing Ranma-chan enough to sit on
Shampoo's lap, and curl up in a ball. Shampoo smiled at the rapidly
relaxing form, but the peace didn't last. Ranma-chan was resting peacefully
one moment, and the next got punted out of Shampoo's lap and through the
skylight of the greenhouse.
"MMMMMMEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!"
"I told you to hope they didn't let me go!" Akane shouted to Ranma-chan's
rapidly departing form.
Shampoo spun on Akane, "Why Akane do that?"
"He was being a jerk!"
"You hear what Pop say, Ranma think he cat, not boy," She moved closer, got
right in Akane's face, and looked her in the eye, "You no hit Ranma again."
Akane stared at her, incredulous, "Are you trying to tell me what to do?"
Shampoo dropped her voice and took on an almost threatening tone, "Shampoo
say no hit Ranma again."
Akane didn't back off. "I don't believe it! Where do you get off telling
me what to do?!"
The tension between the two almost managed to ignite the forest.
Fortunately, it was defused when Kasumi stepped between the duo.
"Now, now. We mustn't fight."
Kasumi's peaceful aura worked as the two simultaneously broke the deadlock.
"Shampoo go find Ranma. Make sure he O.K." She gave one last, intense,
glance to Akane, then jumped up on a tree, using it as a springboard to go
through the hole in the skylight.
Mousse and Kodachi finally bound the plants wounds. After confirming it
would pull through, they turned their attention to the remaining people.
"I do believe we have been forgotten Mousse-sama."
A fireball hit the pair. As the smoke cleared, the duo appeared singed, but
alive. Minami stood at the top of the balcony, having finally been untied.
She discarded a gold scepter and began to form electricity in her palms.
"Let me assure you. The two of you will soon be gone, but definitely not
forgotten."
She released a lighting bolt at the duo who barely got out of the way. The
two took off, with Minami in hot pursuit, firing off spells as she runs.
Everyone else decided to leave the building, all that is save one.
"Would someone let me down, please?" Genma paused for a moment in thought,
"Wait! The way my day has been going, maybe I had better stay here."
He heard the sounds of animals below him, and turned his gaze downward. A
pack of hyena's had gathered below the cage and looked up, licking their lips.
"It would definitely be a good idea to stay here." Genma heard a noise from
above, he looked up to discover one of the chains beginning to snap. "I
should have known." He turned to look up at the sky, and shouted. "What
have I done to deserve this?!" The cage fell to the ground, leaving Genma
to run for his life from a pack of hungry hyenas.
Epilogue
Kasumi was alone in the Tendo Dojo. She looked at the phone for a few
minutes, then, as if deciding on something, picked up a phone and dialed.
She paused, waiting for an answer. Her wait did not last long.
"Hello! Dr. Tofu."
"Yes?"
"It's me. Kasumi Tendo."
Kasumi could hear the sound of glasses fogging over the phone,
"Y...Y...Yes?"
"Would you like to get together tomorrow night." She heard the thump of a
body hitting the floor. She paused and looked at the receiver. "Oh dear! I
wonder if that's a yes or a no?"
End Notes: Special thanks to
Harold Ancell
Ryan Anderson
Kevin R Wible
(
geocities.com/tokyo/towers) (
geocities.com/tokyo)