Joketsuzoku, China

Be Dea approached the house of Li Fhall in a rush. Her instincts were
calling out that something was wrong and her plans were about to be upset.
Be Dea REALLY did not like it when her plans were upset, and when that
happened she let others know about it. She was so anxious that she nearly
barged into the house without knocking. 

Her first knock went unanswered, despite the fact she could hear someone
moving around and a low moaning sound coming from inside. The second time
she used her staff in a more authoritative manner. If there were no answer,
a third knock would be applied with a single finger and a loud "BAKUSAI
TENKETSU!!!"

Feet could be heard hurrying to the door, which opened a moment later by a
woman dressed in a robe and a smile, and just barely the robe. Upon opening
the door Li Fhall's irritated manner became a more mollified one.

""

Be Dea cut to the chase. ""

Li Fhall appeared visibly relieved. ""

Be Dea looked at her suspiciously. ""

"" Li Fhall said enthusiastically. ""

"" came a man's voice from inside.

""

Be Dea winced inwardly as she always did when listening to the young and
their foolish romantic notions. Once you got older you understood how
romance really worked, and it was never the ideal some chose to think it
was.

As to Silk's departure, technically there was no reason to stop her. She
was free to come and go as she pleased, but the coincidence of her trip at
the same time as the hunt squad was disturbing. True, the talk of going to
Nerima might have broken down what reservations she had about going back,
and Be Dea had even heard her mention how much she missed that man back in
Japan recently, but if she was leaving she could have helped out with the
hunt. Acted as sort of an unofficial guardian as it were. Perhaps she was
even doing that now, and was only worried about how the group of young
girls would fare.

On the other hand she was friends with Cologne, and she might have gone to
warn her. If that was the case she was going to be in a heap of trouble
upon her return. Crossing swords with Be Dea was always a mistake and she
was one to let others know just how grievous an error that was.

Always.


Chi-Kow, China

Feng Yau looked up to see the woman enter the bar. Carefully his observant
eyes took in her form and sized her up as potential prey. A thief of his
caliber always kept one eye open for the chance to make some money.

Her clothing was well worn and not impressive in the least, just common
thread. The woman's movements were strained, as though she did not move too
well and was in pain. Arthritis if he was not mistaken. 

She plopped herself down next to Feng and brought out a coin purse. He
allowed none of his intense interest to express itself upon his face. This
was going to determine whether or not the woman would end up as a mark. It
was with much disappointment that she brought out only the smallest handful
of coins, looked sadly at them, and mumbled something about only enough for
two drinks.

She purchased the drinks, downing the first one within seconds, and slowly
nursed the second. It was at that moment she began conversing with him.

""

That caught his interest. Strange things meant the potential for profit. He
allowed himself an air of casual disinterest as she continued.

""

At that point Feng excused himself and went to round up the rest of his
gang. Even if he hadn't heard the bit about the lock box there was no way
he would remain next to the woman. Aside from the fact she smelled bad
there was the talk of the 'good old days.' When old people went on like
that it was time to leave quick lest you be trapped in a boring
conversation about the merits of the past. His grandmother had been that
way before she died, and he heard enough about the past to last him a
lifetime.

Once he was gone for about thirty minutes the 'elderly' woman straightened
up and moved like a cat, not the slightest hint of pain in her old bones.
True, what she had done to the group of girls was hardly fair, but she had
spent enough time around the town to know which gang Feng belonged to and
just how small and ineffectual they were. Besides, those girls had better
have been able to handle a band of common street trash. Silk had helped
teach more than half of them and if they had even a difficult time with the
gang they didn't deserve to be called warriors of the Joketsuzoku.

With any luck it would delay them for a little while and force them to move
more slowly. Every day they were forced to make a detour or encountered a
delay was one more Shampoo had to solve her problem. 

Silk hoped she was doing the right thing. At the very least she was going
to get a chance to see Soun again. She just hoped it was under pleasant
circumstances and not as the herald of Shampoo's death.



Ranma 1/2 Presents:
Shampoo 1/2
Chapter 29

Dating Procedures


All C+C is greatly appreciated
Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at 
http://www.geocities.com/~azatlan/Special-Series/shampoo.html

Bloodblade has also given it a home at
http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/towers/5920

For more information on the Eight Devils of Kimone I recommend going to
Icefall's Ninja Scroll page at:
http://nightfall.simplenet.com/NinjaScroll

or you can contact me at sommer@nb.net

Standard disclaimer:
I don't own the Ranma 1/2 characters. They are owned by the Goddess
Takahashi and whomever she sold the rights to.

An alternate universe:
What's gone on before (or what you really need to know to enjoy this fic)
In the beginning the Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou to spar, neither one
realizing there was already a duel going on at the far side of the pools.
One accidental mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man
later, there is a male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan=
female Ranma. Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo. Enjoy) Shampoo elected to travel
to Japan with Ranma and briefly ended up engaged to Kasumi. After that was
cleared up Ranma ended up engaged to Akane. After many months many friends
and foes were made. Last Chapter, first contact was unwittingly made
between Ryouga and Tessai of the Eight Devils of Kimone and Ai was freed of
the influence of the love pill by Minami. Now it's time for people to start
going out on dates...

<> Indicates Chinese

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Did you hear the news?"

Akane leaned forward to hear what Malia was saying. Chisa and Sayuri nearly
bowled her over as they huddled closer as well. 

"Yuka is coming back," Malia informed them.

Akane and Sayuri nearly jumped for joy while Chisa remained silent.

"So what?" she asked.

"I don't think you met her. She's from before your time." Akane was still
beaming at the news. "she used to be part of our close group. Anyway, she
used to attend Furinkan a couple of years ago, but there was a slight
problem."

"The Director," Sayuri explained.

Chisa shuddered at that. Now she recalled the other three mentioning Yuka
every now and then. As she remembered it, The Director had kidnapped the
girl and gave her his patented 'electro-shock acting lessons' which
resulted in a nervous breakdown. 

"She's been institutionalized for years. They say she's finally better
now," Malia said. "She should be here any minute now."

Almost as if on cue a very frightened looking girl entered the room and
began glancing around, her eyes settling on the quartet of girls. Once
recognition dawned she began to relax. 

"Come on over," Akane said softly as she got up and led Yuka over to the
others. Akane was relieved to see the 'deer caught in the headlights' look
was passing. 

"Things have changed," Yuka said in a quiet, distant voice. 

The others became slightly concerned. Yuka didn't quite seem like her old
self. All three girls began to worry that perhaps the treatment wasn't
successful and that she was close to repeating her breakdown. Akane decided
to take to the lead and ease her old friend back into the swing of things.

Yuka scanned the room and assessed the changes. "We have a new teacher."

"That's Godai-sensei. He's a lot better than Watanabe-sensei was. Even if
he is a bit of a pushover sometimes," Akane explained.

Her eyes continued looking over the room's occupants. "Why is that girl in
a shrine maiden's outfit?"

"That's our resident ghost sweeper, Minami."

"There's a zombie in one of the seats."

"That's just Gosunukugi. He's harmless...and alive." 

"Oh." She kept looking until someone else caught her interest. At last the
others heard a bit of the old Yuka in the voice. "Who's that cute guy with
the spatula on his back?"

"Actually that's a girl. Her name's Ukyou Kuonji."

Yuka looked incredulously at Akane. "Things have gotten a lot weirder
around here."

"Wait until you meet our gym teacher. He's a genetically engineered
combination of human and roach that tries to put all of the students
through impossible physical tests to break us of our wills. Then there's
the return of principal Kunou, who keeps making stupid rules for the
school. And our new English teacher looks like she's six years old but is
really twenty nine and can absorb people's chi so she can make herself into
a super model." Akane turned to her friends "Did I leave anything out?"

"If you beat up the cutest guy in the school you can date him," Chisa
brought up. "And we don't mean Kunou."

"Except Shampoo's going out with him," Sayuri mumbled. 

Yuka watched all four of the girls' eyes turn towards a corner where there
was a huddled mass of boys. She could just overhear the guys saying
something. 

"C'mon, Shampoo. Just one more time."

"No!"  The voice could just identified as belonging to a female.

"Please. It's just so neat!"

"Oh all right. But only once," the voice relented.

*ZAP* 

"Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo. Now let me put it in."

Akane cringed as she heard the sound of electricity and watched Yuka tense
up. The crowd of boys parted to reveal Ranma-chan standing there with her
back to the girls. Once Saotome turned around the five girls saw there was
a glowing light bulb in her mouth. The result was predictable.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"There goes two years of therapy," Malia complained.

Akane slammed a desk into Ranma-chan's head. "Way to go, Shampoo!" And
stomped off, taking Yuka to the school nurse to see if she had anything for
repeat nervous breakdowns.

Ranma-chan lifted the desk off of her head. "Wahfh gouf imu dit gria maow?"

"Try that without the bulb in your mouth," Ryouga suggested.

Ranma-chan followed the advice. "What's got into that girl now?"

"You gave Yuka another nervous breakdown," Sayuri said acidly.

"If I didn't give her the first one how could I give her another!"

Sayuri shook her head. "I mean you aggravated an already existing
condition. Hey! Now that I think about it, we were just talking about you
and Ranma dating. Exactly when are the two of you going out?"

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun looked at one another. Ranma-chan spoke up
first. "Ahh...well, tonight. Yeah! That's it. Tonight."

Shampoo-kun was out of his seat in a flash and embracing Ranma-chan. "I is
so happy. You take Ranma out on date!"

The cries of anger and jealousy from the girls drowned out Ranma-chan
shouting at Shampoo-kun to let her go.

Several of the girl huddled together out of earshot of the struggling
couple. 

"We'd better make sure Shampoo doesn't try to take advantage of Ranma."

"Yeah. He seems so innocent. If that minx gets him alone there's no telling
what she'll do."

"We'll be chaperones."

"Yeah! That's it! That's the ticket. Chaperones."

"We'll protect Ranma and his innocence from the little tramp!"

All of the boys that overheard the conversation were very glad they weren't
Shampoo.


It was after school when Ranma-chan decided to go to Ukyou's. The day had
been eventful to say the least. She had been interrogated by several girls
about exactly where she was taking Shampoo and exactly what they were going
to do. Akane was angry with her for the electricity trick and got even
angrier when she mentioned that she had to go on a date with Shampoo later
in the night. It wasn't like Ranma-chan had any choice, and besides,
Shampoo was fun to hang around with. Saotome was going to be damned if she
was going to let Akane tell her who she could and couldn't spend time with.

As she made her way into the restaurant she was confronted with what might
have been the most bizarre scene ever, which was saying a lot. The place
was in shambles, Ryouga was laying unconscious on the floor. Ukyou was
using a gaint dented spatula to fend Tsubasa who was crouched on all fours
on a table and twitching his nose. Ranma-chan took note that her friend's
clothing was torn in some rather revealing spots. There was also a peculiar
sensation as she witnessed Tsubasa's behavior.

"What's going on?!" 

Ukyou managed to take her eyes off of Tsubasa for a second to answer. "Keep
back! Tsubasa thinks he's a rabbit!"

"What?!"

Ukyou swung at Tsubasa-usagi and explained what had happened. "Tsubasa was
hiding in the store, disguised as a plant. Ryouga found him, grabbed
Tsubasa's Bane, and tried chasing him out, only Tsubasa was adamant about
staying and cowered in a corner. Ryouga stuck Bane in his face but he still
wouldn't leave, he just got more scared. After a couple minutes of that he
got quiet all of a sudden and stopped screaming. He scrunched down on all
fours and began twitching his nose. The next thing I know he's hopping
around while trying to wiggle his nonexistent cotton tail. Then Ryouga
shouted at him for acting even more disturbed than usual. I guess Tsubasa
didn't like that since he jumped up in the air and kicked him in the head
about five hundred times. I heard him moan so I guess he's all right."

At that point in the story Ukyou had to pause to swing at Tsubasa-usagi,
who tried to jump on her. She barely managed to ward him off with several
hard swings.

Ranma-chan continued watching Tsubasa-usagi's behavior. She found herself
getting the weirdest feeling as she observed the cross-dresser's movements.
It did not seem as though he was trying to attack. "What's he doing now? It
doesn't look like he's trying to hurt you."

"What do you think?" Ukyou scolded. "What are rabbits famous for?"

Ranma-chan found difficulty in summoning enough concentration for the
answer. "Eating carrots?"

"No."

"Making lucky charms out of their feet?"

"No!"

"Hiding Easter Eggs?"

"NO!" Ukyou was about ready to give up on Tsubasa-usagi and strike her
ex-fiancé. "Haven't you ever heard the saying 'two people going at it like
rabbits'?"

Ranma-chan found it almost impossible to answer. "Yeah. So?"

"HE'S TRYING TO MOUNT ME!!!" Ukyou raged.

Ranma-chan couldn't answer as she suddenly found the world around her go
dark. 

"Ranma, you jackass! Get over here and protect my virginity!" She gave one
more swing to keep Tsubasa-usagi at bay then turned back towards
Ranma-chan. "Why aren't you...Ranma, why are you down on all fours?"

Tsubasa-usagi sensed something behind him. He turned and the sight before
him struck fear into his heart. 

"MMMMMMEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!"


Katsuragi relaxed next to his newsstand while talking with the owner of
Ohtana's  Bar, Ohtana himself. The two old friends would frequently
converse while watching the events of the Nerima unfold. Both were gazing
out at the street when they witnessed two blurs, one chasing the other,
race past the newsstand and over the newly consecrated statue to Chthulu
that the Nerima town council had finally got around to replacing.  

"Now that's something you don't see everyday," Katsuragi said as he
adjusted his baseball cap.

"What's that?" Ohtana asked.

"A cross-dresser that's learned the usagi-kyaku being chased by an
aquatransexual who's learned the neko-ken."

Ohtana nodded in agreement. "Let's get a drink to celebrate!"

"Damn good idea!"


On the kami plane:

The Shadowhare raged at the scene that his scrying pool showed. At the rate
he was going he would never be as feared as his chief rival, the Shadowcat.
It was difficult enough trying to get people to dress up as carrots and
allow themselves to be attacked by ravenous rabbits, but the few times they
did and were sent into their usagi state some idiot with the neko-ken came
by and spoiled the fun.

It couldn't be a coincidence. It had to be the damned Shadowcat's doing. It
was his fault no one took the Shadowhare seriously. And if he had to hear
one more person refer to him derisively as the 'Shadowbunny', he would kick
them into oblivion.

He had to come up with a plan. A shift in the scrying pool showed two
different scenes, an odd creature with black fur that looked like a rabbit
and cat fusion and a blond girl in a sailor fuku. There was the potential
for something there, he was sure of it. Even the girl's name, Usagi, was a
sure sign that some greater destiny awaited her. Perhaps if the two were
bonded together...


Nerima, Japan:

"Thanks for bringing me out of the cat fist," Ranma-chan said to Akane.

"No problem," Akane smiled warmly, then scowled. "It's not your fault your
dad's an idiot. You sure you're okay?"

Akane had literally stumbled upon Ranma-neko while on her way home,
spotting her in front of some kind of small pipe, crouched on all fours and
waiting at the opening, almost as though she were stalking something.
Realizing that something was horribly wrong with the whole situation, Akane
waited a few minutes to see if she could figure out exactly what it was.
She prayed that the smaller girl hadn't started chasing down rodents and
tried eating them or something. To have her fiancé thinking he was a girl
was bad enough, but to have him thinking he was a cat was really too much
to take. 

Sensing Ranma-neko wasn't in any hurry to leave her spot, Akane went over
to see if she could bring her out of the neko-state. Ranma-neko spotted her
immediately, and appeared as though she was going to make a break for it.
Taking the initiative, Akane made soft soothing sounds as she approached.
That was enough to relax Ranma-neko as she allowed Akane to approach,  all
the while keeping her attention on the mouth of the pipe before her. 

Akane followed her fiancé's example and got down on all fours to see what
had riveted Saotome's attention. She could just make out a cowering
Tsubasa, who could only possibly fit into the narrow pipe by using the same
method he usually employed with his disguises. The cross-dresser didn't say
a word. He simply remained scrunched down and twitched his nose.

That was enough weirdness for one day. After much cajoling she managed to
get Ranma-neko to abandon her stalking and follow the youngest Tendo as she
led the redhead to some hot water to bring her out of the neko state. After
that the duo went home.

Shampoo came from inside the house and glomped Ranma. "I is so happy we go
out on date. When do you want to go?!"

Ranma pried himself out of her grasp, barely registering Akane's irritation
as she stomped off. "Look, Shampoo. Maybe we should do this some other
time."

"Why? Tonight is a nice night."

"Yeah. Well, it's been a long day and I'm kind of beat."

Shampoo was slightly confused. "Then we go out and have a good time. That
way you feel better."

Ranma shook his head. "I don't think I will. Besides you shouldn't get all
excited about this. I mean it ain't like I wanna go out on a date with you
anyway."

A slight edge entered her voice. "What you mean, Ranma?"

He missed the change. "I mean we gotta go. I beat you in public and all,
and it'll look bad if we don't."

"You mean you no want to go out?" 

"Well, not on a date, y'know?"

Shampoo began shaking, forcing her anger into clenching and unclenching her
fist. "I see. You no like me and not want to go anywhere with me. That
fine!" And with that she stomped off.

Ranma went into his usual state of confusion when women behaved in a way he
didn't understand. He began following her in irritation. "Hey! I didn't say
that and don't go putting words in my mouth."

"I not talking to you!" She stomped into her room and shut the door. 

Ranma stood outside and scowled at the door. "Why are you making such a big
production out of this?"

"You no want to go out with me, fine! I no want to go out with you either!"
The voice from behind the door shouted. 

"Would you just..." Shampoo's last sentence finally registered with Ranma.
"What do you mean you don't want to go out with me?"

Her head popped out of the door. "Just what I say! I no want to go out with
you! You probably not know how to have a good time on date anyway. Jerk!"
She retreated and slammed the door in Ranma's face. 

"I do too know how to have a good time!" he shouted at the door as if it
were what had just insulted him. "If you went out with me you'd have such a
good time you wouldn't know what to do! And don't call me a jerk!"

"Forget it! I go out on date with Kasumi! She's a nice girl and probably
know how to have a good time better than you anyway!"

Ranma turned red at the implication. "She does not know how to have a good
time better than me! I know how to have the best time ever! No one dates
better than me! Let's go out!"

"I not talking to you!" was the reply from behind the closed door.

"Damn it! I'm asking you out on a date!"

"So?"

Ranma began shaking his fist at the door. "So we are going out and I'm not
taking no for an answer!"

"No!"

"Oh no! I'm not falling for that one! I said I'm not taking that as an
answer! Open the door and go out with me or so help me I'll break it down
and drag you out! Then I'll force you to go out on a date with me and
you'll have a good time even if it kills both of us!"

Shampoo's head popped out. "You be ready at seven thirty. I take care of
everything," she said calmly, then went back into her room.

Ranma crossed his arms and stared smugly at the door. "I showed her. No one
stands me up! It's going to be the best date anyone anywhere has ever had.
She's going to have the best time of her life tonight. HAHAHAHA!!!"


Kodachi gazed longingly at Mousse as he sat on one of the verandas
overlooking the gardens of the Kunou Estate, a thin bladed dagger between
his fingers occasionally flashed in the afternoon light as he
absentmindedly twirled it. His attitude was beginning to worry her. It
really was too bad that whatever he had thought was going to happen to
Ranma a few days ago didn't work out. He had simply waited up all night for
Kunou and Ranma to show up, but neither did, much to his disappointment.
When Kunou finally showed, Mousse grilled him on everything that had
happened after he left. All Kunou could remember was the 'foul Saotome'
jumping on his back and waking up with a refreshed feeling. At that point
Mousse said something about Xi Fa Xiang and left, disgusted with the
ineptitude of the swordsman.

Now days later he still hadn't cheered up and Kodachi was getting desperate
for a means to break him out of his stupor. There was one idea she had and
if it didn't work she was going to apply just a little something to his
next meal to turn his thoughts to one more worthy of him.

"Mousse-sama. Why don't we go out on a date tonight?"

He was silent for several seconds as he continued twirling his knives
unabated. "Okay."

"It will cheer you up. We'll have a divine time where you will be treated
just like the prince that you truly are."

"I said okay. We'll go out."

"I must insist you agree," she said, beginning to work herself into a huff.
"You need to brighten up and this is just the sort of thing to make you
forget about that awful Tarou and Ranma."

Mousse got up and crossed his hand in front of her face. "I said yes."

Kodachi appeared confused. He had always rejected her advances, so she had
simply assumed he was going to resist and shut out what his actual answer
was. As the realization of what he said sunk in she drifted back to
reality. "This will be wonderful! I'll order you a suit made from the
finest material money can buy. I shall proudly show the world what man has
captured this single black rose from the field of red. We'll be the envy of
all the peasants and peons. OHHOHOHOHOHO!!!"

As Kodachi skipped away and made her plans, Mousse had to admit he needed
to get out, and it would placate Kodachi, at least for a little while.
Besides, he hadn't done anything solely for himself in years. It would be
good just to go out.


Akari entered the darkened hole-in-the-wall bar. She thought this was
exactly the sort of place a nice girl like her should never see from the
outside, let alone the inside, but the man she had talked to told her that
the person she was searching for was located inside. She began to
reconsider her decision in seeking the boy's help. If this was the sort of
place he enjoyed hanging around in he might not be the sort of ally she was
seeking. 

The patrons all looked like rough, mean people, not at all like the farmers
she was used to dealing with. The interior was run down, and the inside so
dimly lit she couldn't see the floor. Judging by the way her shoes were
sticking to it she probably did not want to see it. And the place smelled
worse than any pig sty, not that such things smelled unpleasant to her. In
fact, sties held a certain sort of delicious odor which was unmatchable
anywhere. 

Thoughts of the value of the smell of swine were abruptly cut off as a
large, rough looking bald man approached her.

"AHHHH! A rapist!" Akari screamed, causing the man to cringe.

"Nononono! I just want to buy you a drink."

The man was hit over the head with a chair and collapsed to the floor. As
he slumped down the figure behind him, chair still in hand, now became
visible. He was an even rougher looking man than the first. Akari noted
that several other tough looking men had gathered around her while she was
distracted. She could only guess that they were the chair-man's friends. 

The leader spoke up. "We're the rapists."

"Oh! Do you think I should apologize to the first man? I don't want him to
think I'm rude in confusing him with you." 

The group facefaulted.


Over at the far end of the bar, a semi-conscious young man heard the sounds
of the argument. Slowly he raised his head from the bar, barely managing to
avoid empty whiskey bottles around him, and dragged himself to his feet.

Akari became very concerned with the situation. Just because she couldn't
ever marry didn't mean she wanted this sort of thing to happen. She was in
such a panic that her hands trembled and she fumbled the canteen of water
at her side, the water spilling out on the floor along with her hope. 

"Can we talk this out?"

The leader shook his head. Just as he was about to go for Akari a fist
struck him in the back of the head. Before he even hit the floor a
whirlwind was among the circle, knocking out four more of them by the time
the first attacker's unconscious body finally settled on the ground.

The three remaining men wisely decided to find safer environs, like the
interior of a nuclear power plant, and left. Akari was shocked to discover
the boy that had fought off the thugs was the same age as her. In the dim
lighting of the bar it took her a moment to identify him.

"You're Ryu Kumon!"

The youth seemed to recoil at the name. His only response after that was to
give a disgusted look at her then walk back to his place at the far end of
the bar. 

Akari was confused at the reaction. He looked exactly like the picture,
except for the stubble of several weeks growth that had accumulated on his
chin. If he wasn't Kumon then why did he not protest it? And if he was why
didn't he acknowledge it?  Rather than giving up she pursued him down to
his place at the bar. "I've come here looking for you."

"So?" He settled himself at the bar and sorted through the bottles, hoping
to find enough in the bottom of one of them to get at least one more decent
shot of liquor. 

"I need your help."

He gained a forlorn look as he realized there was nothing left in any of
them. He couldn't even mix what was left in the bottoms to scrounge just
one decent drink. "I don't give help to anyone."

"Even if it's revenge against Ranma?"

That caught Ryu's interest. He now gave a much closer examination of the
girl, at last taking in her full form. "Why do you want revenge against
him? What did he do to you?"

"Well," Akari began to explain. "It's not exactly Ranma I want revenge
against. It's his girlfriend, Shampoo. She's the mean person that ruined my
life."

Akari related the whole story to him. It was especially pleasing to her
that Ryu appeared more and more sober as time went on. Maybe he was the man
she was looking for. Once finished she waited to see his reaction. 

"You actually cursed yourself to get revenge because you can't marry?"

Akari began to wonder if he really was sober. It had all been explained
quite clearly.

He indicated she should get closer to him, as though he would whisper
something in her ear. She did as she was bade. 

"That is..." he whispered.

"Yes?"

"...THE MOST STUPID THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!"

Akari fell to the ground, both from shock and deafness. "Does that mean
you're not going to help?" she said a little too loudly.

"Of course I won't!" Ryu continued his rant. "You think I want revenge on
Saotome? If I did why the hell would I be getting drunk in this damn bar?"

"Because you're thirsty?"

Ryu facefaulted. 

Akari sighed. People seemed to do that a lot around her lately. Maybe her
inexperience at the revenge game was showing. "But if it weren't for Ranma.
You would still be married."

Ryu shook his head. "Saotome didn't do a thing to me. I was the one
responsible for what I did. If anything, Saotome helped to show me what I
should have done. As soon as i met him I should have told Kaori..." His
voice caught for a moment. "...everything. If I had been honest with her
she would have been resentful for a little while, then got over it. But
instead I tried perpetuating my lie and ended up losing everything. Saotome
didn't make me pretend I was him or force me to lie to my wife even though
I should have known I had her love and it wouldn't have mattered. I did all
of that on my own. It was me that poisoned my marriage and doomed it.
Ranma's blameless. 

"And what's up with you?" He fingered the cloak she wore. "Have you taken a
look at yourself?"

Akari shook her head. She had been caught up in trying to get revenge for
so long she really hadn't taken the time to take a good hard look at
herself.

"You aren't cut out for this. Hell, you freaked as soon as you entered this
place. If you want to hang out with guys on par with Ranma and his buddies
you got to be a whole lot tougher than that. You have to be able to level a
place like this and as an afterthought light a cigarette with the burning
ashes."

"I don't smoke."

There was a saying Ryu's father had taught him so long ago. The path of the
martial artist is fraught with peril, unlike most people's lives. It is
also fraught with those that simply don't get it, like most people's lives.
No matter how irritating they were you could not just do away with them.
There were too many of them to kill. Ryu resisted the urge to employ a
Kijin Raishu Dan on her. She wouldn't get the point anyway. 

"Let me put it to you this way. You are not cut out for this line of work.
Go back to being a pig farmer and raise a litter of pigs."

There was a saying Akari's grandfather had taught her so long ago. The path
of a pig farmer is fraught with those that don't understand pig farming.
Those people were not very bright and because they did not understand pig
farming there was also going to be something missing from their lives, so
one should forgive them for their ignorance. There were also too many of
them to kill. "Pigs aren't raised in litters." She watched Ryu's reaction.
"And please stop facefaulting. It's very annoying."

"YOU HAVEN'T LISTENED TO A WORD I SAID!!!"

"Yes I have," Akari protested. "I'm just not following it."

Ryu shook his head. "You can't waste your life blaming Shampoo for you
getting cursed -"

Akari cut him off. "I like being cursed."

"You do?" He asked in open disbelief.

She emphatically nodded her head. "Turning into a razorback is fun. I'm
really tough and can do all sorts of neat things I could never do just as a
girl. What I blame her for is ruining me. I can't get married now."

"Why are you so hung up on marriage?" Ryu asked. "Let me tell you
something. Marriage is a crock of shit. You think you know someone and will
spend your whole life with them, and then it all gets dumped on your face
and you end up with nothing. Gimme a drink!" he shouted at the bartender.

Two shots of tequila were downed one after another before he continued.
"You can't ever really trust someone and put all your heart into it. You
settle down, have a couple kids, then your spouse has an affair or has
gotta 'find herself', or they have a mid-life crisis, or they have some
dark secret or something like that. It all ends up going to hell and you
have nothing to show for it in the end. What you want to do is go out on
dates. Don't get into serious relationships. Just have fun."

"I've never been on a date," Akari said.

Ryu looked at her in disbelief. "A good looking girl like you. Why not?"

A blush rose to her cheeks. "No one was ever strong enough to beat
Katsunishiki. And I just figured I would date whoever I was going to
marry."

"If you know you're going to marry him that defeats a lot of the purpose to
dating." Ryu scratched his head as he considered exactly how to go about
correcting the girl's obvious misconceptions and came up with what he
considered the ideal solution. "I'll take you out."

"You will?" That didn't make any sense. She could not marry anyone, so why
bother dating?

"Yep. I'll show you what a good time dates are so you can give up this
stupid nonsense about revenge and get on with your life." More quietly he
added. "Might as well do something good with my worthless existence. Can't
help myself, maybe I can help others."

Akari found herself to be strangely excited about the whole idea. It really
wasn't a justified reaction since it could never lead to anything.

"Don't get any ideas," Ryu warned as he took one last drink and began to
lead Akari out the door. "This isn't going to lead to anything. I will
never get married again."

"I can't ever marry anyone at all," Akari mentioned.

"Right!" And with that settled, the two walked out into the night.


Ukyou had finally gotten around to cleaning the mess that Tsubasa-usagi had
made. With the restaurant in the chaotic state it was in, there was going
to be no business conducted today. Ryouga had been carted off by Kyoko,
despite insisting that he was perfectly fine. So that left Ukyou
alone...again...naturally.

Silently she wondered if it was time to move on, but for all the problems
she had there were some good things too. Okonomiyaki had made up so much of
her life, that and vengeance against Ranma. One was abandoned so the other
took up everything else. In spite of the occasional closings and fights she
got into, her business was booming. It was doing so well that she had been
considering building on an addition just to accommodate the sheer volume of
customers. True, Shampoo was in no small way responsible for the increase
in business the last couple of months, but it was her cooking that kept
them coming back. Even the crappy take out store across the street had not
cut into her profits. And in a way, she was more than pleased by the
morning stare-offs she and Kaori had as each would open their restaurants
and make ready to wage war in the battle for patrons. The take-out queen
was losing, and it showed.

Rumors were already starting to spread about Uk-Chan's making one of the
top fifty restaurants in Japan. Considering her youth and the humble size
of her restaurant it was amazing she would even be considered for such a
prestigious award. A fantasy began with her as the CEO of the okonomiyaki
world. Kyoko was her personal footstool while Ryouga waited on her hand and
foot, apologizing for his foolishness as the painful cords of jazz music
played on...

She frowned at that thought. What was jazz music doing playing in her
fantasy? She hated jazz. It was by far the worst clatter she had ever heard
and dearly wished that it was outlawed from being played in the entire
country. 

The sound, which she refused to acknowledge was a form of music, was
originating from next to Uk-Chan's. She went outside and followed the noise
to the store next to hers. The fish seller that had been previously
occupying the structure had gone out of business earlier in the week. There
had been rumors that some foreign investor had purchased the property but
there had been no word on what was going to be opened there.

Now that Ukyou had a chance to view the whole thing she saw that something
had been moved into the vacant structure earlier in the day. She had been
so distracted by the day's events that she had been unaware that anyone had
moved anything in. Now a French bistro had taken the place of the previous
business, and that was from whence the music came. 

"Hello, Kuonji."

Ukyou felt her blood curdle as she recognized the sound of a thick French
accent fill the air. She slowly turned around to see the all too familiar
sight of Crepe Suzette. "Don't tell me-"

"--that I have decided to add some culture to this otherwise backward
society?" Suzette smirked. "Oui. I have. It is my fondest wish that I
convert all of the fools that choose to eat what you laughingly call
cuisine to the only true form of cooking; that of French style food. Have a
baget." 

Suzette handed the stunned Ukyou a baget. Kuonji's surprise at the close
proximity of her rival's new business, and the problems that were no doubt
going to arise from it, made her completely forget one of the French chef's
patented trademarks.

*BOOM*

Baget Bombs. Suzette's favorite. The French Cuisine Combat specialist
danced in a spiral around Ukyou's still standing singed form.

Ukyou lacked the will to avenge herself of the wrongdoing this day.
Exhaustion ruled her body as she slowly dragged herself back to her own
restaurant and sat down at one of the only partially shattered tables. It
was with misery she lay her head upon the wooden surface, trying to find
the desire to continue on and fix the rest of the damage.

A sound from behind caught her attention. She looked up to see Ai, in full
cheerleader regalia and baton, enter the establishment. "Hello, Ai," she
managed weakly. 

"Good evening Ku...Ukyou, my sweet." Her voice dripped honey as she
addressed Ukyou.

Kuonji settled her head back on the table. She heard Ai move behind her as
she simply stared at the surface once more. What the hell, she decided.

"Want to go out, Ai?"

The sound of a baton hitting the floor caused Ukyou to look behind her. Ai
was staring at her wide-eyed, her hands left in a position that suggested
she had until a moment ago, been holding the baton at an unusual angle.

"What's wrong?" Ukyou asked. 

Ai shook off most of her surprise. "You startled me, that's all. Did you
say you want to go out?"

"Yep." Ukyou answered in a somewhat tired voice. "You can even call it a
date if you want. Keep your hands to yourself though. I don't want you
putting the moves on me."

A bit of suspicion crept into Ai's voice. "That doesn't sound like much of
a date."

"That's the deal. If you don't want to do go I'll understand." It probably
was too much to hope for, but she was just so lonely that she needed
someone, anyone, to spend time with. If only Ai was willing to behave
herself. 

"Okay." Ai said. "Meet back here in about an hour?" 

Ukyou agreed. As Ai left the restaurant Ukyou realized the cheerleader had
not once tried to glomp onto her or shout out words of affection. It was
the most restrained she had seen the blond in a long time. Maybe she'd be
able to keep her word and keep her hands to herself. Who knew, it just
might turn into a good night after all.


The group of twelve girls set their surveillance equipment up across the
street. All of them had sworn there was no way they were going to let
Shampoo alone with Ranma for more than a second. They knew that was all the
time that was needed for a tramp like her to put the moves on 'their' Ranma
and do something naughty with him. It was all part of some insidious plot
to marry the handsome boy, no doubt. Of course the fact that most of them
would do the same thing were the positions reversed was not mentioned. 

"Do we have visual access to all the windows?" one of the girls asked.

Another answered her. "Affirmative. The shotgun mikes are all in place."

"Umm, guys." A third one spoke up.

"What?"

"There's a woman waving at us. I think it's Akane's sister, Kasumi."

"Where?" 

"From the kitchen window."

"Damn! I knew we should have used better camouflage sheets. What's she
doing?"

"From her hand gestures, I think she's inviting us in."

"You're joking."

"Nope. It looks like it's for real."

The group considered that. It would give them better access to the house
than the surveillance equipment provided, and they would be closer on hand
should the need arise to keep Ranma from harm. 

"I think she's offering us milk and cookies."

That settled it. No one had thought to bring food, and several of the girls
had eaten over at Akane's before. Passing up Kasumi-offered food was too
foolish to consider. The group accepted the invitation and made ready to
spy on the date that was soon going to live in infamy, at least if they had
anything to say about it.


Ranma examined himself in the mirror once more. The tuxedo he had rented
looked good. No. Better than good. 

"Perfect!" he commented to his reflection.

Akane stuck her head in the room first. "I don't care what you do! Have a
great time on your stupid date!" She stomped off as quickly as she
appeared.

Soun was next. "Son, how can you do this to your own fiancee?" 

Genma followed, giving a disapproving look. "Boy, you disappoint me."

"Now you know how I feel about you every day!" he shot back.

"You're engaged. You can't go out on dates with anyone other than Akane."

Ranma looked smugly at his father. "Forget it, old man. I don't back down
from a challenge. I'll make sure Shampoo has the best date of her entire
life. No! Make that the best date anyone in the entire world has even been
on! She's going to be so happy she'll never want to go out with anyone
again!"

Soun turned in rage. "SAOTOME!!! This is all your fault! What kind of an
irresponsible child did you raise?!"

Genma thought he saw the first vestiges of the demon form start to emerge.
"The boy's probably still suffering from that blow that scrambled his
personality. Let me hit him on the head and make him better."

A giant stone statue found its way on top of Genma's head.

"I've got a better idea. Why don't I hit you on the head and see if you
become better?!" Ranma growled as he brushed the dirt from his hands . 

"I'm feeling pretty good now, boy," he said dreamily from underneath the
statue.

Ranma exited the room, leaving Soun to reproach the partially conscious
Genma. He was considering whether or not to allow Shampoo to admire him
before the date, or if he should surprise her, when Kasumi approached. 

"What are you doing?" she asked with more than a little surprise in her
voice.

Ranma examined himself, bewildered at Kasumi's reactions. "Getting ready
for my date?"

"You can't go out like that. Allow me to help." She rushed into the
kitchen, returning a moment later with a glass of water in hand which she
calmly dumped over Ranma's head. 

"Whad'ya do that for?!" Ranma-chan's suit was never going to dry out in
time for the date.

Kasumi started to lead her back to the transformed girl's room. "You can't
go out looking like that."

"Why not?"

Nabiki came downstairs and supplied the answer. "You're supposed to be
going out as a girl. It was 'Shampoo' that defeated 'Ranma' at school.
Remember?"

"Ah, so what? It ain't like anyone I know is going to see us."

"Excuse me." One of the school girls had come out of the kitchen and was
looking for Kasumi. "Can we have some more of those cookies. They're
delicious." She spotted Ranma-chan and waved. "Hello, tramp. Nice tux by
the way. Hehehe." She left the three in the hall to inform her friends of
what 'Shampoo' was wearing for her date .

"Of course. Nabiki." Kasumi turned to her sister. "Why don't you entertain
our guests while I help 'Shampoo' out on her date?"

Nabiki sighed and went to the kitchen. There were still times she couldn't
figure her out. At least she had had a chance to speak with Ryonami and
gave her orders to interview Kaori Daikoku. Tarou had let something slip
about being involved in the fights. Perhaps the take-out girl had some
damning evidence that could be used against the youth whose days were
numbered, even if he was too foolish to know it.


Ukyou had to admit, the guys would be drooling over her 'date'. Ai had
dressed in a form fitting green evening gown that would have made Ukyou
feel like a guy even if she didn't usually dress like one. As it was Ukyou
herself felt underdressed in the men's suit she wore.

"You look nice," Ukyou admitted, regretting the words as they left her
mouth. That was all the excuse Ai would need to apply a backbreaking glomp.
It was much to Ukyou's surprise that Ai did nothing more then look
curiously at her. 

"Thank you." Ai smiled at the compliment. "You look as dashing as ever.
Your tie's a little crooked though." 

Ai moved closer to Ukyou, who figured the maneuver to be nothing more than
an attempt to get close enough for the much anticipated glomp. It was yet
another surprise when Ai did nothing more than straighten up the tie, then
move a short distance back to get a full view of Ukyou.

"You're perfect now," Ai said warmly.

At that moment Ryouga returned from Kyoko's house where she had applied her
ministrations. When she had first grabbed him, and after bandaging his
head, she sat in his lap and tried necking with him, only to have him pass
out on her. It took that long just to make him recover, and once he had,
his only desire was to go back to his home.

"What's going on?" he asked as Kyoko entered behind him.

Ai gave an annoyed glare. "Ukyou and I are going out on a date."

Kyoko jumped up and down in joy. "That's wonderful! We'll make it a double
date."

Surprisingly, Ryouga crossed his arms and looked suspiciously at Ai. "You
two can't go on a date."

"Why?" Ai asked, anger evident in her voice.

Ryouga thought the answer was obvious. "You're both girls."

"Get your boyfriend into the nineties, Kyoko," Ai recommended as she looked
back at Ukyou.

Seeing no one was paying attention to his logic, he chose a different
course of action. "I think Kyoko and I will tag along." He barely
registered Kyoko jumping onto his back in delight. 

"You're hardly dressed for going out." Ai commented. Kyoko could probably
get away with the ensemble she was wearing, but Ryouga was in his usual
yellow shirt black pants gear. "Do you even own a suit?"

Ryouga smirked at the blond. "As a matter of fact, I do. I got it when I
was traveling across time and space with the Doctor. Wait right here." 

He ran off to the bathroom, got dragged out of it by Kyoko, and led to the
correct room. He returned a moment later bearing a small square of cloth.

"Nice suit," Ai replied while barely restraining her laughter.

Ryouga laughed right back. "This is an Instant Outfit. All you need to do
is add water and it expands over you in perfectly fitting apparel."

"Isn't Ryouga-kun a genius," Kyoko sighed.

"This I want to see," Ai said.

Ryouga grabbed some warm water and poured it on the cloth, instantly it
increased in size and flowed over his body, just as he said it would. Once
in place he posed for the trio of girls. Kyoko was gushing over him while
Ai and Ukyou looked on, confused.

"What is that?" Ukyou said.

Ryouga examined himself more thoroughly. Sometimes the Instant Outfits
malfunctioned. The last time Ryouga used one, during the gala on Antares
Four, the back of the pants did not appear. Unfortunately he simply thought
it was a drafty evening and it wasn't until much later the Doctor informed
him of the error. When Ryouga confronted him about why he hadn't told him
about the fact he was mooning everyone, the Doctor simply pointed out that
the Antarens thought he was making a statement. It wasn't like the women
complained about it either. In fact, that might have been why Queen Moursha
herself had propositioned Ryouga during the evening's event. And he had
just thought they were a very forward people.

No. His examination proved nothing out of place. "It's an outfit."

Ai shook her head. "What she's asking is, why does it look like you're
ready to go to a coronation?"

Ryouga examined the Instant Outfit he had chosen. It was his opinion that
the flowing robes and fur lined collar were quite tasteful. "It's royal
Juraian formal wear. It was a gift from one of the queens since I did them
a favor. It's the best thing I own." 

"You might be overdressed now," Ukyou said.

Kyoko placed her arm around his waist. "He looks perfect. Let's go." 

Without waiting for a response she pulled Ryouga along and led the way out.
Ukyou and Ai shrugged their shoulders and followed suit.


Shampoo-kun was just straightening his tie when Nabiki knocked on the door,
announcing who she was. With a reluctant sigh he allowed her to enter.
"What you want?"

Nabiki examined Shampoo-kun before answering. Take out the fact the he was
really a female Amazon warrior and she would have considered him handsome.

"I just wanted to know where you're going tonight."

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

She had prepared for this. "Because I want the date to go well. That way
girls at the school will be impressed and want to go out with you. If they
want to go out with you they will pay me money for ways to win you over."

That made sense. "We going to Kanemoto Towers."

Nabiki gave a low whistle at that. "That place is really expensive and the
waiting list is weeks long. How did you swing that?"

"I have connections," Shampoo-kun smirked. That was all Nabiki was getting
out of him tonight.

Nabiki nodded appreciatively. "Yep. Everyone's going to know you're a lady
killer all right. You and Ranma have fun." 

She left the room and headed immediately to the kitchen. As she entered she
gave a big smile to all the girls seated there. "I can make life a lot
easier for you."

"How?" one of them asked.

"I'll tell you where Ranma and Shampoo are going out on their date. Shall
we begin the bidding at ten thousand yen?"


Ranma-chan was having a 'not nice' time. It was bad enough she had to wear
a dress out in public (Kasumi had insisted on that). At least it was in
good taste, having been picked out when Ranma-chan believed she was a girl.
And it showed off a generous amount of cleavage, which the redhead found
she liked, but now the eldest Tendo was simply going too far. 

"I won't do it!"

"But you've done it before."

"That's only because I thought I was a girl!"

"Ranma. It's only for one night."

"No! I'm a guy. Guys don't do that."

"It's Shampoo's first date ever. You do want to look perfect, don't you?"

"I'm telling you it ain't right!"

"The other girls will think you look uncomely. They'll spread rumors around
school about you not being able to look attractive on a date."

Ranma-chan considered that. No one called her ugly. "All right. But only a
little bit."

"Right. You don't need a lot. Just enough to bring out your cheeks and a
little shade for the eyes."

Kasumi finished applying the make-up and allowed Ranma-chan to examine
herself in the mirror. Reluctantly she admitted it did make her look more
attractive. Not that she enjoyed being a girl.

With one last adjustment to her dress she left Kasumi's bedroom and headed
downstairs. As she came into view of the bottom she saw that Shampoo-kun
was already there, his back to the stairway, and decked out in a tuxedo
that was slightly different from the one Saotome had been wearing earlier.
It was with a reluctant sigh that she admitted he looked even better than
she had. Somehow he just made it appear bolder. Something about the way he
held himself perhaps. Why, if Shampoo-kun hadn't really been a girl
Ranma-chan might have actually gotten jealous over that fact.

She was almost to the bottom of the stairs when she saw one of the school
girls rush up and place herself under his arm. Ranma-chan halted where she
was in surprise. Why the hell was Shampoo-kun allowing the girl to be so
familiar with him? A moment later a flash came from further down the hall
and the Amazon removed his arm from the girl's grip.

"Next." Ranma-chan heard Nabiki's voice from the direction the flash took
place. "Pay up first. That's better. Now come on, Ranma. You can smile
better than that. You look like you're being lined up for a firing squad."

>From her position behind Shampoo-kun, Ranma-chan saw the new girl, Kaede
from the cheerleader squad, slowly move her hand up to the Amazon's rear
end. Ranma-chan snarled out loud and was next to the cheerleader in a
flash, a quick wrist lock forcing the girl to remove her hand from the
place where it did not belong.

"AWW!" Kaede yelped as Ranma-chan maintained the lock and brought the hold
up high in the air for the rest of the girls to see.

"Hand's off the merchandise, babe," Ranma-chan commented dryly as she
loosed the hold and took up a position next to Shampoo-kun. Kaede had
enough sense to know she was being dismissed, and totally out-powered, and
did as Ranma-chan 'suggested'.

Ranma-chan heard a sharp intake of breath as Shampoo-kun looked down to the
girl next to him. "You look very beautiful."

Ranma-chan felt herself blush at the compliment. Somehow, she found it
impossible to look at Shampoo-kun, and turned her head away as she gave her
thanks. 

The Amazon's opinion was shared by the dozen girls that had collected in
the hall. Twelve identical looks of jealousy and anger mixed with envy at
the blushing pair. They really did look like the perfect couple.

Akane stormed down the stairs, making sure to jostle Ranma-chan as she went
past. The redhead was about to say something when he noticed Akane was in a
very pretty dress herself. Not that she looked better than Ranma-chan, or
so she said to herself.

"Where are you going?" Ranma-chan asked.

Akane paused in her flight to growl at her fiancé. "I am going out on a
date too. With Tarou."

Ranma-chan was about to snap something back when she realized something.
Akane was trying to make her jealous. That was a laugh. Saotome was damned
if she was going to let a transparent plan like that work. If Akane was
desperate enough to go out with a loser wimp like Tarou, she could go ahead
and have a miserable time. It wasn't like it was going to lead to anything
anyway.

"Tell Pantyhose I said hi. You two have fun going out to eat. I'm sure
Bull-butt will find some nice field to graze in."

Akane just got redder in the face and walked out the door. The jerk had
actually encouraged her to go out. Fine! She would. And she would have a
good time too!

"You ready?" Shampoo-kun asked.

Ranma-chan nodded in agreement as the two headed out, followed closely by
the group of Furinkan students. After three blocks it became obvious the
pack were not going anywhere. The redhead gave a sigh and turned to her
companion.

"Lose them?"

Shampoo-kun nodded in agreement. Losing them was preferable to simply
beating them up. A couple of the cheerleaders might be able to follow, but
they could be dealt with if they managed to keep up.

The couple made their way across Nerima until they made it to under one of
the structures that supported the rails that allowed one of the elevated
trains to run past. The duo stood still, much to the concern of the band of
followers, until a train approached. 

"I sure hope this doesn't mess my hair up too much." Ranma-chan grumbled,
not realizing just how feminine she sounded.

The two timed the leap perfectly, Ranma-chan first followed by Shampoo-kun.
They would propel themselves halfway up on the first leap, then make the
top of the train on the second. No one, not even the cheerleaders could
keep up. After they traveled for a couple of miles on top of the train they
could leap off and make their way to the restaurant in peace.

Shampoo-kun paused at the second leap and allowed Ranma-chan to jump first.
As Saotome jumped the Amazon looked up, then followed. Once the duo landed
on the top of the train they saw that the plan had worked. The pack of
girls were unable to keep up and the couple watched as their shapes
dwindled in the distance. After a few minutes they jumped down, and after
making some minor straightenings to their oufits, continued on their way to
the restaurant. 

"Ranma," Shampoo-kun said.

"Yeah?"

"Boxers no go with that dress you wear."

Ranma-chan looked at her in confusion. "Hey! What are you doing looking
under my dress?"

"It was an accident." He hoped she wouldn't see through the lie. It wasn't
like he was going to molest her anyway. It was clean fun.

"Well, it better be," she mumbled, her suspicion aroused. After a few
moments the feelings of the occasion won out and her mood lessened.
"Besides. How would a guy like me look in lingerie? Heh, heh. Umm. Shampoo,
why are you staring at me like that?"

"No reason." Even he didn't realize how lascivious the leer he was sporting
was, which left Ranma-chan to silently wonder if going out was a good idea
after all.


Akari was virtually dancing in the street as she went to meet Ryu for
their...DATE!!! She had picked out the absolutely nicest dress she could
find and purchased the matching handbag and shoes. Her outfit looked
perfect. Not that she was excited about it. After all, it couldn't lead to
anything since she could never get married, but perhaps it would be fun,
just like Ryu said.

The building at which she was going to meet him was only a street away when
she spotted two familiar figures making their way along the opposite side
of the street. Quickly Akari hid in one of the side streets as the duo made
their way past. It was the man who was supposed to be her husband and the
mean girl, Shampoo. Both were in their cursed forms and dressed rather
tastefully, although the idea that Ranma had good taste in women's clothes
was not exactly reassuring. It would have been very disappointing to
discover that, if Katsunishiki had not died, Akari would have been married
to a pervert. 

The two were continuing to talk pleasantly with one another, neither openly
paying any attention to the world around them. It would be a simple task
for Akari to run ahead to one of the rooftops, not announce the fact she
was going to jump off the roof to Ranma and Shampoo like she had before,
change herself into a razorback, and land very hard on Shampoo. Then she
could stomp on the perverted Amazon and get family revenge.

But there was one problem with all of that. She would miss her date with
Ryu Kumon. A silent war waged within about what course of action she should
take. On the one hand there was: family honor (that was very important),
nothing could come about from a date with Ryu (that was disappointing), it
could be her only opportunity to get revenge on Shampoo (that was very
important).

On the side of restraint there was: It would disappoint Ryu.

It should not have been important, not when compared to the other reasons,
yet somehow she just couldn't bring herself to make someone who had gone so
far out of his way to make her feel good, and try to assist her, feel bad.
It was not as though there was any hope of reward on his part, he was
simply doing it because he wanted to help. It would be rude to refuse that
assistance and beat up people he was in the process of convincing her were
not worth the effort. Akari Unyruu was many things, but being rude she was
not. 

She allowed Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun to walk out of sight, unmolested.
Then she skipped off to rendezvous with her date. 


Akane stormed into the gym where Tarou had been waiting for her. He was
decked out in yet another tailor-made suit that he had prepared for just
such emergencies.

"You look ravishing. I'm ready to gooooo!" He suddenly found himself being
dragged off by the arm. What a wonderful night it was turning into. Not
only had Akane approached him for a date, not only had she dressed up and
looked even more beautiful than she usually did, but she was taking the
initiative and setting the tempo for the date. He always suspected there
was a wild hellcat underneath that (sexually) cool exterior. Something that
wanted to let itself go and consume a studmuffin like him in a heated
passion worthy of his wildest fantasies. Judging by how aggressively Akane
was behaving, it looked like it was a very good thing he had packed some
condoms for the date. He just hoped there would be enough.

"Where are we going?" he manage to get out as she continued dragging him by
the arm. A love motel perhaps?

"We're going out to eat at the Kanemoto Towers." Nabiki had mentioned it to
her before she left. She was not going just because Ranma and Shampoo were
going to be there.

Whoa! Tarou remembered that it was an expensive place. Akane really was
taking the initiative. As he settled into the situation, his mind tried
working out exactly what could have happened to change her attitude. The
most likely reason, as much as Tarou hated to admit it, was Ranma. Odds
were good that he had done something to anger Akane. Curiously that sat
fine with Tarou. If that was what it took to get his foot in the door,
among other things he wanted other parts of his body to get into, he
wouldn't complain. Only a sucker didn't take every advantage he could get
away with.


Ukyou decided the restaurant Ai had chosen was rather nice. Akira's was
more upscale than she was used to, and there was no way the food was going
to compare to hers, but it had a pleasant atmosphere that was going to make
eating a real treat. There was always something nice about somebody else
doing the cooking. Once they had arrived the maitre'd took one look at
Ryouga's appearance and began babbling about something in a foreign tongue.
Ryouga was able to speak a little bit of the man's language and laughed
sheepishly at him. 

"He seems to think I'm really Jurian royalty. He said he'll get us the best
seats in the house," Ryouga explained.

Kyoko stared dreamily at him. "You know so many people, Ryouga-kun."

Ai whispered something about crazy people that thought they were from space
and managed to get their own table, just far enough away from Ryouga's that
they would not be overheard.

Of all the things that had happened, the real surprise was Ai. Yes, she was
living up to her word and not putting the moves on Ukyou, but there was not
even the slightest hint she was restraining herself. Her behavior was
mostly normal, save for the odd stares she gave to Ukyou. It was almost
like the cheerleader was confused about something.

"Ukyou. Why did you ask me out tonight?"

Ukyou shrugged. "I thought you wanted to go out."

Ai shook her head. "I've wanted to go out with you for months. Why did you
suddenly decide to do it tonight?"

"Promise not to get angry."

Surprisingly, Ai refused. "I'm going to get angry if it pisses me off."

Taking several moments to decide whether or not to spill it, Ukyou opted to
go ahead. Even if Ai did not like the reason she was not going to react
poorly to it. She was magically in love with Ukyou. "I was lonely. I wanted
some company and I figured I owed it to you since you've tried to help out
so much."

"I believed you thought of me just as a pain and annoyance."

There was some validity to that, but Ukyou wasn't about to admit to it.
"Sometimes you are, but I know you mean well. You're not really a bad
person. Except for the fact that you terrorize a large part of the school
population. Or at least you used to. Now you just, well you know the way
you are."

"No. I don't. Tell me what you see," Ai insisted.

"All right, you asked for it, sugar. I see someone who's under the
influence of some stupid magic pill and does whatever it forces her to do.
I see someone not in control of her own actions and doesn't have the free
will to do what she wants. And maybe I haven't exactly been very
understanding about that."

"You could have taken advantage of me," Ai said. "I would have done
anything for you. I would have waited on you hand and foot. I would have
happily rebuilt the Great Wall if you had wanted me to. I would have
serviced you in any way you wanted. As a servant, a lover, a slave. Any way
possible. The limit would only have been what your heart desired. If I was
a pain you could have humiliated or degraded me to make yourself feel
better. You could have loaned me out to others to get them to owe you
favors. I would not have denied you. Anything for my 'darling Ukyou.'" The
last was said sarcastically.

"Kami, Ai!" Ukyou said in shock. "I'm not that sort of person. I would
never treat a dog that way, let alone another human being. I would never
abuse you."

Ai's whole attitude suddenly changed as she once more became a lovesick
puppy. "Are you sure about that? Having total control over a person can be
an awfully tempting thing. If they're obedient to your every whim there
isn't really any threat of rejection. It's safe. Safer than a real
relationship would be."

"I don't want someone like that!"

Ukyou was surprised to have Ai settle back to her original mood, lift
herself out of her seat and lean close to her, close enough that Ukyou
could feel Ai's breath on her face. After taking a moment to look Ukyou in
the eye she leaned back. "You're telling me the truth. Thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?"

Ai sighed. "Believe it or not, most people would have done something.
Perhaps not the way I described it, and not to those lengths, though there
are people like that and worse, but you didn't do a thing."

"Most people aren't like that," Ukyou protested.

Ai shook her head sadly. " Yes, they are. Maybe you find it difficult to
believe, but it's true. I have had the unfortunate opportunity to run into
a few of them. They can be harsh, terrible people. And usually they are
right next to you without you even knowing it."

"You're exaggerating." 

Ai gave a chuckle at that. "It's the people you hang out with that give you
that idea. I doubt if Hibiki or that Chinese fellow you call Ran-chan are
much like that. But if I had swallowed that pill and looked first upon,
say, Daisuke or any other guy, do you think they would have done nothing
with me? Or even Nabiki or one of her little cohorts. Do you think any of
them would have resisted the temptation of using me for their own ends? Not
even a little bit?"

Ukyou found she could not quite disagree like she wanted to. If she had
swallowed the pill there was no one, outside of Ranma or Ryouga, she would
have truly trusted. Not even Shampoo, regardless of how well the two of
them got along lately.

Ai picked up on the hesitation. "You agree. Good. You do have a tendency to
fantasize about the way the world works, and those dreams have little to do
with the way things really are. It's nice to see you thinking rationally
for a change."

"I wouldn't sound so high and mighty." Ukyou was not reacting well to the
criticism. "You were one of the worst before you swallowed that pill. I
heard what they said about you and what you liked to do. You even tried to
kick the crud out of Ranma to sleep with him."

Ai's face started to contort with anger, then relaxed. Ukyou assumed it was
just the effects of the pill kicking in again.

"I've never pretended to be anything other than what I am. Yes, I like
controlling my relationships, and I wanted to prove that I could make Ranma
mine. I wanted to prove I was better than anyone else and could do it. I
wanted control!"

Ukyou snorted at that. "Sounds like exactly the sort of person I want to
avoid."

It took only a moment for Ukyou to notice the look of pain that crossed
Ai's face. "I should have known. You're just like all the others."

Ukyou silently wondered if this was the way Ai acted when she wasn't
around. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ai gave her a pained look. "Do you really want to know?"

As though she could resist a statement like that. "Yes."

"You think I'm some sort of tramp that just goes around taking what I want.
It's been that way since I transferred to Furinkan. Maybe I deserve some of
my reputation, but I'm not anywhere near as bad as my picture's been
painted."

"From what I've seen it's on the mark. You bully people around and do what
you want. It's just like one of your buddies said. You're the roughest,
toughest cheerleader around and you take what you want without any remorse.
You always want to be the one in charge."

"Only because I'm submissive," she said, just barely audible.

"What was that?" Ukyou couldn't believe Ai had the audacity to actually say
that. The only time she was submissive was when she was with Ukyou, and
that was only because of the pill. Then she saw the tears in Ai's eyes.

"I'm actually very submissive. You may not believe it, but it's true. My
first inclination is to do what people want, even if it's not in my best
interests. It gets worse the more aggressive people are. But life taught me
at an early age that people like that end up leading very miserable lives. 

"The original one to teach me was my first boyfriend back at Seisyun. I was
pretty much a normal girl. I wanted a good guy. I had thought I'd found
one. I think at first he cared for me, but as time went on he started
realizing I'd do whatever he said, no matter what it was. He experimented
at first, but I wanted to please him so I did what he asked. It got worse
as time went on, and the things he wanted me to do were not...pleasant. I
was a toy for him towards the end. I knew it and despite all that I still
did as he wanted. It all ended when he had me..." she trailed off, trying
to find the right words. "Let's just say that if I did end up getting my
way with both you and Ranma at the same time, I would have made certain it
was a much more pleasant experience than what was done to me. I don't treat
people like that."

"You were raped?" Ukyou asked.

"Oh no!" Ai protested. "I went along with it. That's the worst part. I
didn't want to resist, or at least the part of me that did never came to
the forefront. I just wanted to do what he wanted." She cleared her throat.
"Well, Mariko got me out of that situation. She explained it to him in no
uncertain terms that he was to stay away from me. Of course he didn't want
to comply. Fortunately we had good lawyers and there were no witnesses to
what happened. It was probably the last time my sister and I got along. I
think I miss that part of my life. I wonder if she does too."

"I'm sure she does," Ukyou offered.

Ai shook her head. "We aren't the same people we used to be. Anyway, the
next guy I hooked up with was another mistake. He was a lot like the last
one, and I started to fall into the same pattern. I lucked out with him
though. He got crushed by a Youma before things went too far along. It's a
lot like a car wreck I think. Everyone says that sort of thing will never
happen to them, that it always happens to someone else. But people
frequently get hurt in such fights and some are killed. It's just life I
guess. 

"After that I stayed away from the guys for a while. I didn't date any of
them. Then I went for my first girl. I was always attracted to the same
sex, so it's not like I 'converted' because of what happened to me. The
first girl I went out with was nice. She was just what I was looking for.
Now back then I kept my preferences a secret and so did she. Her family was
real conservative and there is no way they would have been as understanding
as mine. It was a wonderful three months, but we fell out of whatever it
was we felt. It wasn't love, that much I know for certain. We separated
under good terms, even remaining friends for a while. Then came girl number
two, who ended up being just as bad as boy number one. Guess it's just my
luck to draw people that want me bound to their will. You know all of those
techniques I tried getting you to do with me?"

Ukyou blushed. She remembered them quite well. One didn't forget detailed
propositions like that. 

"She broke me into that sort of thing. It felt good, believe me, it felt
real good. Physically anyway, but emotionally, that was a different story.
She always treated me like an object. It was like I was some kind of
experiment to her, there wasn't any emotion involved. At least not love,
and I hated it. 

"So one day I snapped and told her it was my turn to give the orders. She
didn't like that, not one bit, so she tried getting rough with me. What I
did next wasn't easy. I wanted to obey her, that was my instinct, but
somehow I managed to lash out. It wasn't backed by any feeling, it was just
sort of an automatic response to the situation. I had learned a little bit
of Martial Arts Cheerleading by then. Just some stuff I picked up from
Mariko. It was more than enough to put that bitch in her place. It was then
I learned that some of the biggest talkers are actually the softest people.
No backbone at all. I won't go into details, but let's just say I collected
all that she owed me with interest. She never went back to school after
that. 

"I did a lot of serious thinking then. I found out I liked control. It
meant I wasn't a submissive little girl. I was in charge and could give the
orders and wouldn't have to act like someone's plaything. I still wanted
to, but I buried those instincts as far down as I could. I became the exact
opposite of what I was. I studied hard to become a master of  Martial Arts
Cheerleading. Mariko and I would have ended up having a duel for leadership
if I hadn't transferred to Furinkan. I was the aggressor in my
relationships, and I was always the one who initiated contact. If anyone
came on to me, forget about it. I wasn't going to have any repeats of what
happened before. Sex became a pastime without deep emotion. Everything I
experienced taught me it wouldn't work out. All I would end up as would be
another one's toy, so why bother with romance? I could enjoy the sex
without the complications. And I was damned if I was going to let anyone
find out what I was really like. Maybe I overdid it sometimes. Maybe I
wanted to be in control too much. Maybe I was too aggressive and too
violent, but at least I had my reasons. 

"Now you're the only one that knows the truth. I trust you won't tell
anyone. This isn't the sort of thing I would like to get out. I would hate
to have to deny it vehemently by doing something...aggressive. And I will.
I protect myself from anything I feel is a threat. Please believe me when I
tell you I don't want you to be a threat."

Ukyou slowly shook her head, still in shock from the confessions Ai had
just made. Nothing that was just said was ever going to pass from her lips.
Not to Ryouga. Not to Ranma. No one. 

But there was still the question of why Ai was acting so strangely. Not
just with the confessions, but all night long. She had never been that
serious, at least not with her. Not since the whole pill thing started. It
was almost as if...

Then the truth dawned on her. "You aren't under the influence of the love
pill!"

Ai smiled. "It took you long enough to figure that out. Minami came back
and gave me a pearl which cancels the effects of the pill." She fingered
the earring it was set in. "If this gets more than a foot away from my body
I go back to the lovesick fool I've been for the past few months.

Ai's voice dropped to a low hiss. "Is that what you want? Do you want me to
be like I was? If you ask real nice I might give the earring to you and we
can go back to the way things were. It was a whole lot less complicated."

"Of course not!" Ukyou shot back. "How can you ask something like that?"

"Because without the earring I go back to the way I was before the whole
pill mess started. As I recall we did not exactly get along. In fact, I was
in the process of ruining your life. Aren't you afraid of what I can do to
you now that I'm freed from the curse and remember how you rejected every
one of my advances over the months? You remember how well I deal with
rejection, like at the hospital. Are you sure you're up to dealing with the
real me?" 

"I meant what I said before," Ukyou reassured her. "I want you free of the
pill no matter what the consequences are. I wouldn't want it to happen to
me and I sure as hell don't want it to happen to anyone else. Even if it
means kicking your ass again!"

Ai smiled at that. "Fine. We go back to the way things were."

Ukyou was confused. "If you just want things to go back to the way they
were then why did you tell me all of this?"

Ai appeared disappointed. "Haven't you figured it out?"

"No." 

Ai gave a soft chuckle to herself. Ukyou wasn't faking it. She really
wasn't the brightest person around. Not stupid, just not brilliant. "When I
first dropped by your place I was going to bash your head in with my baton.
You have no idea how angry I was at being spurned by you for months on end.
I really tried every trick in the book."

Ukyou suddenly realized why Ai had been in the position it had been in when
she first arrived. "Why didn't you do it?"

"It all came together for me when you asked me out. A thousand angry
feelings were extinguished when you did that." Ai waited to see if she had
put it together yet.

Ukyou was at her wits' end. "What do you mean?"

"I love you, even without the influence of the love pill."

"When did that happened?" was all Ukyou could muster.

"You're dealing with it rather well I see," Ai responded sardonically. "For
the first time in years I've discovered someone I trust. Really. Fully.
Completely. If you were going to do anything to me you would have done it
months ago. Trust is a hard thing to come by, especially for me, but you've
earned it. For you I will lower all my defenses and be submissive to your
will. I give you my heart, Ukyou Kuonji. No strings attached."

Ukyou stared blankly at her. Now all she could say was, "Oh."

"Somehow I expected a little more than that."


Ryouga had been staring at the back of Ukyou for sometime. She was having
an animated conversation with Ai, but he could not quite make out what was
being said. 

"Ryouga-kun, are you listening to a word I said?"

"Of course." Not. He had other people to listen to.

"Thanks goodness. I was afraid you'd balk at the idea of a vasectomy."

"WHAT?!!!" That caught his attention.

"I thought as much," Kyoko looked disappointedly at him. "You aren't paying
attention to me at all. I thought we were out on a date."

Ryouga looked around. Of course they were on a date. He could even think of
the word without stuttering about it. He had come a long way from the
nosebleeding bashful guy he was a couple of months ago. Except when Kyoko
tried necking with him, then he would pass out.

"You are paying more attention to Ukyou and Ai." Kyoko scolded. "Don't tell
me y...you're thinking about dumping me."

He spotted cry mode coming up. "Of course not. I'm just looking out for
Ukyou. There's no telling how Ai's twisting her around and trying to get
her to like girls."

"She's already like that," Kyoko said happily.

It took a moment for that one to register. "What do you mean?"

"She lived under the same roof as you," Kyoko purred. "If she could keep
her hands off you, she must not like guys."

Ryouga laughed nervously and twiddled his fingers at that. 

"Besides," she continued. "She dresses up like a guy and acts like one too.
Everyone knows she must be weird."

Kyoko was amazed at Ryouga's reaction. He actually looked ANGRILY at her,
causing her to cower. 

"Uk-chan is not weird!" he snarled in unmistakable anger, frightening Kyoko
even more. Boyfriends were not supposed to lose their tempers over other
girls. 

He continued. "She is the nicest, most thoughtful, likable, admirable, and
if I could think of any other good adjectives to describe her I would use
them now girl I've ever known. I owe her everything I have. Before I met
her I was just an aimless wanderer with no one to care for and nothing in
my heart except hatred for Ranma. And once I started hanging around Ukyou,
even that got tiring. I realized there's more to life than trying to get
revenge on someone who doesn't hate you back and di-"

*WHAM*

Ryouga stopped in mid-speech as he was struck in the head by Kyoko, who was
wielding a candelabra she had pulled from off the table. "Are you feeling
better?" she asked.

"Of course not!" he shouted as he pushed the candelabra away. "Why would I
feel better because you hit me in the head?!"

"Well," she started to explain. "I overheard Ukyou talking about a friend
she had who got a personality problem when he was hit in the head. He
thought he was a girl, if you can believe that. Anyway, it sounded like you
had a personality problem, so I hit you in the head to make you better."

"I do not have a personality problem."

"Yes you do. You were talking about swearing off revenge and speaking mean
to me and making it sound as though you liked Ukyou more than me. Now if
that doesn't sound like you have a personality problem then I don't know
what does."

In a moment of clear thought it occurred to Ryouga that the saddest thing
about the whole thing was Kyoko's sincere expression. She obviously
believed it was true. Unfortunately for Ryouga, the moment passed before
any other thoughts went through.


The huge, handsome-looking youth entered the restaurant dressed in a
thousand dollar suit and looked over the establishment. It was cheaper then
he was used to, but his hunger was threatening to overwhelm him and it was
nearby. The maitre'd recognized him immediately and nearly passed out in
joy. "Oh, sir!" he exclaimed. "Thank you for eating at our establishment.
Our fame will skyrocket."

He simply smirked at the man. It was good to be appreciated. "Your best
table, and make it quick."

"I can't do that for you, sir."

He arched his eyebrows at that. No one denied him his rightful due. "Why?"

"We have Jurian royalty here. He has the best table."

He had no idea what the man was talking about. The huge youth made his way
into the dining area. "I shall have words with him." He neglected to
mention most of the words would be 'break', 'kill', or just monosyllabic
grunts.

As the large man made his way to what was obviously the best table in the
house his eyes dawned in recognition. "It's her. KYOKO-BABY!!!"

Kyoko turned around at the sound of her name being called and was
immediately sorry. Once she realized the youth was coming her way she gave
a screech and hid behind Ryouga. The lost one was more than a little
surprised by the behavior, but tensed up as he sensed the upcoming trouble.


"Who is that?" Ryouga asked.

Kyoko raised her voice to make certain it was loud enough for the newcomer
to hear. "That's my EX-boyfriend. Tetsuo Argama."

"Not anymore, Baby." He gave a shining smile which caused half the women in
the restaurant to swoon, much to the irritation of the men they were with.
"I changed my name once I went pro. It's really Flex Lavender now."

"You should have changed it to 'The Cheating Casanova'. Stay away from me!"

"Hey, Baby. You can't mean that." He tried giving another gleaming smile,
causing yet another twenty percent of the women to swoon and moan 'Sexy
Flexy'. "I know there were some misunderstandings back then, but you were
always the one for me."

"I was one of many, you mean. You went out with other women behind my
back."

"Only a couple," he protested.

"How can you say that?" Kyoko shook her head in disbelief. "You went out
with the whole cheerleader squad."

"Not at the same time, Baby."

"Like that's an excuse," she retorted. "You slept with Ai!"

"Everyone slept with her," he defended.  "How can you hold that against
me?"

"I wouldn't brag about that," Ai joined in at this point. "You're not that
'Flexy' or 'Sexy.' Believe me, I know."

"You want to know how I can hold it against you? Watch and learn," she said
as she crossed her arms. 

It was at this point Flex noticed who she was hiding behind. "Who's that?"

Kyoko brightened up. "This is my boyfriend. Ryouga-kun. He's a real man.
The first real one I EVER dated and that includes you."

Flex began breathing faster as he became angrier. "I see how it is. He's
poisoned your mind against me."

"Excuse me," Ryouga interrupted. "Do you have any relatives from China
named Mousse?"

Flex was caught off guard by the question. "No."

"Just checking." 

The hulking youth's confusion didn't last long. Whatever chance there was
for a peaceful resolution was lost when Kyoko stuck out her tongue and made
faces at Flex from behind Ryouga. "Enough talk. There aren't any mikes
around anyway. PREPARE TO DIE, RYOUGA-KUN !!!"

Ryouga snapped up to his feet in rage. "How dare you steal my battle cry!
PREPARE TO DIE, FLEX!!!"

Flex ripped off his suit allowing Ryouga to discover what profession he was
in. "You're a professional wrestler?" The hot pink wrestling tights were a
dead give away.

"Yeah! So what?"

"Wrestling's fake, and you're wearing hot pink tights. HAHAHAURK!" Ryouga
suddenly found a thick hand locked around his throat. Maybe holding one's
head back while laughing when a fight was going to break out wasn't such a
good thing. 

"Want to know why only real men can wear hot pink?" Flex growled as Ryouga
squirmed in his grip.

"Why?" he choked out.

"Because they can," And with that he drove Ryouga's head through a table.

Ukyou got up to assist, but was prevented from leaving the table by a
restraining hand from Ai.

"Don't worry about it," Ai reassured her.

Ukyou shook off the hand. "He might get hurt."

"Nah!" Ai waved it off dismissively. "I know how good Flex fights, Ryouga
can take him. If you interfere it's just going to get Ryouga upset, and you
don't want to anger him unnecessarily. Do you?"

Ukyou shook her head no as Ryouga got up and punched Flex in the jaw. They
took the beginning of the restaurant's destruction as a cue to leave.


Akane was more than a little irritated by the maitre'd's behavior. "I just
want one lousy table. Is that too much to ask for? It doesn't have to be
next to a window or anything!"

The maitre'd scorned the girl tastefully. "We have no tables available, not
now and not tomorrow. We are booked solid for the next month."

"We can eat somewhere else." Tarou tried to get Akane to cool down. Even if
she did have her heart set on the Kanemoto Towers she was overreacting.

Akane was not about to let go. "I know for a fact you let someone make a
reservation tonight."

Tarou started to put two and two together as he listened to the maitre'd
insist she was mistaken. Someone was eating there and Akane wanted to get
close to them. He sighed to himself. It was probably the Fem-boy and she
was just using Tarou as an excuse to make him jealous. What a hassle. Too
bad he hadn't shipped Ranma off to the slavers, as he wanted to. All of
what was happening now could have been avoided. 

Tarou was a little disappointed that Akane was willing to use him, although
she probably would neither admit to it or even realize it. He wanted to
think she wanted him along for himself instead of nothing more than a tool
to make Ranma angry. What Tarou should have done was convince her to give
it up and eat somewhere else, eventually having a good time with him. If
she did manage to make it inside all she would end up doing was stalking
Ranma and bothering him, making certain he had a crappy evening. An average
plan that was direct, but lacking anything remotely resembling subtlety.
Still, it wasn't like Akane was good at that sort of thing, which he found
nice. He wanted to be involved with someone that was not like him. Someone
that was different, like Akane was. A little naive perhaps, but basically
what others would call a good person. 

And he was going to give in to her. She never tried to manipulate him
intentionally, and because of that he found himself going out of his way to
help her. Love really was a weird thing if it got you to behave in ways
that were not in your best self-interest.

Tarou was about to apply the same tactics he used on his first night with
Akane when two huge bipedal robots with a lot of armaments walked up from
inside the restaurant. Both of them took protective stations around the
maitre'd. 

"I'm afraid you are making a nuisance of yourselves. We here at Kanemoto
Towers take our customers desire to not be bothered by nuisances very
seriously. These are a special protective measure we have seen fit to
employ should individuals make too great a nuisance of themselves. Meet the
ED-209. A special robot we purchased from an American company that have an
outstanding record in dealing with nuisances. Now I suggest you leave
before that record becomes improved." He had already employed the robots to
chase away a dozen annoying girls that insisted some boy inside had to be
saved from some girl.

Tarou did not wait for Akane to agree. He simply grabbed her arm and
dragged her out of the restaurant. Even he wasn't bulletproof enough to
take on that kind of heavy armament, and it wasn't like he even wanted in
anyway.

The maitre'd smiled to himself as the couple departed. Bringing out the
ED's always worked. As he went over the reservation sheet once more a well
dressed couple, a large woman and an older gentleman, began to exit the
restaurant. The large woman was holding a small barking dog on a leash
(Kanemoto Towers had a small section devoted to watching people's pets
while they ate.), the noise from the little creature grating on everyone
within earshot' hearing.

"I hope you enjoyed your meal." The maitre'd said as pleasantly as he
could. He had been through the worst, and always maintained a courteous
demeanor.

The woman's voice was as grating on the nerves as the dog's bark. "The food
was awful, the atmosphere wretched, our fellow patrons looked like
derelicts. If this is typical of the way this establishment is run I will
not be coming back."

The maitre'd took note that the gentleman with her simply looked
embarrassed. No doubt the poor man had gone through that sort of thing
before.

"Even Sanchiro doesn't like this wretched little hovel."

He followed the leash to see how the annoying little dog was expressing his
displeasure. The maitre'd stared, horrified. It had walked up to one of the
ED's and was about to take a leak on one of the legs.

"Madame, I would suggest you stop your dog from-"

It was too late. When the dog started peeing on the foot the ED turned its
sensors downward and observed the dog.

"YOU HAVE CAUSED A DISTURBANCE. YOU ARE A NUISANCE. YOU WILL STOP MAKING
YOURSELF A NUISANSE-"

The maitre'd covered his ears.

"--NOW!!!"

*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM*

Once the shooting stopped the maitre'd observed the carnage. The annoying
dog had been disintegrated in the blast and the large woman had passed out.
Too bad about the ED's inability to refrain from using lethal force when
dealing with annoyances. Still, that meant most people tried to avoid being
labeled as an annoyance. 

The man that was with the woman stared at where Sanchiro had been, looked
at his wife's collapsed form, then smiled.

"We'll be eating here regularly from now on," he informed the maitre'd.


Tarou followed in Akane's wake again. And wake was a descriptive word for
what she was leaving behind. He could practically feel her blood boiling. 

"I am not a nuisance," she mumbled under her breath. "Damn Amazon's a
nuisance. Why can't she just butt out and go home..." the rest was lost as
it was mumbled even more quietly.

"Why don't we go somewhere else?"

"I want to eat there," she snapped back.

"No," Tarou corrected. It was time to see if he had guessed correctly. "You
want to harass Ranma and Shampoo on their date." 

The dull blue aura that popped up around her told the tale. "I do not!"

"Oh come off it!" He was going to try the tough love approach. "You're just
jealous that your fiancé got herself a boyfriend."

"I AM NOT JEALOUS!!!"

Tarou could actually feel the heat from the chi jump. He held his hands up
defensively and made a mental note to never get Akane jealous, not even if
she really got him angry and he thought it was a good way to get back.
There was no way the aftermath would be worth it.

Akane calmed down, slightly. "I want to make sure that bimbo doesn't take
advantage of him."

"You mean Fem-boy?"

"No!" she snapped. "Of course I don't mean Ranma. I mean Shampoo."

Time to plant some more seeds of distrust. "Did you ever consider Ranma may
be taking advantage of her...and you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He comes into your life with this attractive chick, not that she has
anything on you," Flattery never hurt. "He's been hanging around for months
and insists she sleeps under the same roof with him, never mind the fact
he's freeloading. It's obvious. I think they've been screwing each other
behind everyone's backs and are just waiting for a chance to get out of the
engagement thing with you."

He watched Akane's face twitch slightly. Just as the first seeds of
distrust began to take root Akane calmed herself down. The memory of the
rooftop conversation replayed itself in her head. Ranma had spoken of
Shampoo's caring for him as thought he had just stumbled on it, and
afterward Shampoo had been irritated that Ranma forgot. No. Ranma had not
been fooling around with her. Of that Akane was certain. All of the
problems were Shampoo's fault...mostly.

"She's trying to sleep with him, but he's not doing it with her. I'm sure
of that."

Tarou cursed inaudibly under his breath. He had failed. At least for
tonight.

"If I let her alone with him she's going to ruin everything."

Tarou backed up in shock. She could NOT be falling for Fem-boy. No way.
"Are you saying you want him?"

Akane suddenly backed up. "N...no. I just want to protect him from her.
Ukyou was right. She's a brainless bimbo that can't be trusted. She'll just
end up hurting him. I know it." She took a pleading tone. "I have to make
sure she doesn't do anything with him. If she gets him to sleep with her I
just know he's going to feel compelled to marry her. I don't want to see
him blackmailed into doing something like that."

Tarou gave a sigh. If it was absolutely anyone else in the world he would
never consider for a second what he was about to do. Love really did twist
up one's guts, but if it was going to make Akane feel better, than he would
do it this one time.

"Why don't I change and fly us up there? There are lots of windows all
around the place and I'm sure you can look in."

Akane looked hopefully at him. "It's not too much of a bother?"

Wonderful. She was being thoughtful and considerate of his feelings. How
was it she knew how to push all the right buttons without even trying? In
answer he went over to a puddle and splashed himself with it, ruining yet
another suit once again. He was going to have to stop bothering with them.
It was just a waste of money.

"Thanks, Tarou. You're one of the most thoughtful people I know." she said
and smiled at him. Maybe helping her wasn't such a bad thing after all. Not
if it could get her to smile at him like that. He lifted her up and took to
the air.


Mousse was actually quite pleased with his attire. The tailors had done a
magnificent job of fitting the suit perfectly on him. It was hard to
imagine how much it must have cost Kodachi to hire them to make the suit
for him. He would have liked to have returned the favor, but money was not
one of his strong suits. The only way he could return the favor was to be
the prefect date for her. Hopefully it would be enough.

As for Kodachi herself, well, even Mousse would openly admit that he was
stunned at how beautiful she appeared. Her bunched up hair and shoulderless
black evening gown with elbow long white gloves fit her in all the right
places. When she had first entered his room to see how the fitting was
coming along, Mousse had been struck speechless. For the briefest of
moments she was the most beautiful thing in the world to him. Then he
remembered Shampoo and decided the Black Rose was the second most beautiful
thing in the world. But a close second. 

Now they were at the Kanemoto Towers, enjoying the most luxurious meal he
ever had. Every bite of the food was like heaven. And the atmosphere was,
well it was very mood-setting. 

And then there was Kodachi herself. The Black Rose appeared even more
perfect under the dim lighting of the restaurant. The gap to first place
had narrowed considerably. The loving attention she was paying him made his
ego soar and moved him like no other did. If Shampoo paid him any attention
it would be different, but she never had and the woman before him did.
Incredibly enough, he felt no guilt over it. Perhaps tomorrow, but not on
this night. It was too perfect and both of them deserved a break.

"What are you thinking of Kodi-ch...Kodachi," he wasn't quite prepared to
call her that. No matter how perfect the evening was  he still had no
desire to lead her on.

The attempted save didn't matter. Kodachi had heard enough. "Oh
Mousse-sama, I was simply thinking of the wonderful time we're having."

Mousse found himself blushing at that. He had been doing that more and more
lately, and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why. Still, he was
having a wonderful time and nothing could spoil the mood. Not even
Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun, who were making their way from the waiting room
to sit at one of the tables.

His eyes barely manage to focus on the couple. Sure enough. It was them.
Instinctively he went for one of his concealed weapons, then stopped.
Kodachi was looking at him with a hurt expression.

"You want to fight them?" she asked.

"Well," he began. "I want to...what I mean is that's what I usually do. At
least to him."

"I thought we were having a good time. I see I was wrong." She started to
get up from her seat and draw a concealed ribbon. "Very well. We shall make
them pay for wh-" she stopped as a hand rested on her arm.

Mousse was just shocked as she was at his reaction. "Never mind. We can
attack Ranma some other time. I don't want to ruin the evening."

"You don't?" 

"No. I want this evening to go on perfectly, just like it has been. Let
those two enjoy tonight. We'll have even more fun than them."

"Oh, Mousse-sama. Thank you." Kodachi was actually moved to tears. He
wanted to have a good time with her instead of engaging in a useless duel.
She almost had him now. She could feel it in her heart. Maybe she would add
just a little something to his drink right before they left. Just a slight
mood enhancer, like the one he had given him in Hawaii. That would make it
truly a night to remember.


Shampoo-kun looked back to his date. Ranma-chan looked even more ravishing
in the darkened lighting of the restaurant, and for the briefest of moments
he felt sorry he had bludgeoned Ranma's personality back into its proper
place.

Those thoughts were quickly banished. He felt much happier living the
truth: he was on a date with a willing (and as well adjusted as she got)
Ranma-chan. In the end he had done everything short of forcing her to go
out with him. It may have taken a little misdirection on Shampoo-kun's
part, but Ranma-chan really wanted to go or she would not have fallen into
so obvious a snare, or would have resisted once she acceded to
Shampoo-kun's demands. And nothing could top that feeling.

Of course the fact that the redhead in front of him was having what
appeared to be less than a pleasant time dampened the mood considerably.

"What's wrong, Ranma?" 

Ranma-chan responded to the concern with a laugh. "Nothing. I'm having a
great time."

"Then why are you no smiling?"

"I dunno." 

Shampoo-kun was becoming increasingly concerned. This was going a long ways
adrift from what he had hoped would happen. Ideally he wanted Ranma-chan to
confess her feelings of love for him and the two would run away together.
Realistically he hoped it would go the way the original date they were
supposed to have months ago was supposed to turn out. Of course that whole
thing turned into a fiasco, so maybe he should settle for no one trying to
kill the two of them tonight. Now it was looking like a fight could only
make things better.

He at last dared to ask the question whose answer he feared. "Do you no
want to be on date with me?"

Ranma-chan was going to play the whole thing off, but saw the look of
concern deepen on Shampoo-kun's face. Uncharacteristically she felt the
unmistakable urge to open up. "I feel awkward. I mean. I know we've gone
out before, but not on a, y'know, date."

"Why is that so different? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do." Ranma-chan was having problems again. It seemed whenever
the two of them had these heart to hearts she always ended up tongue tied.
"You're a little weird sometimes, but I'd put my life in your hands. It's
this whole thing. I'm not used to it. And I don't just mean the dress and
make-up." She was surprised to discover she minded it a lot less than she
thought she would. If someone had claimed a couple of months ago she was
going to be on a date where she would wear a dress and not mind it,
Ranma-chan would have unloaded an amaguriken on them. But things had
changed, and she had no idea when it happened. 

She continued. "This place is so high class. Then there's all this romantic
stuff that's around. The candles, the dim lighting, the music they're
playing, I'm not real comfortable around it."

"Is it because you is a girl?

Ranma-chan shook her head. "No. I wouldn't be comfortable around it as a
guy either."

"I never been to a place like this before either, but I like it."
Shampoo-kun got an idea. "No worry about anything. I don't care how you
act. Just be yourself."

Ranma-chan agreed and tried to find something to speak about. "I noticed
this place is a little expensive. I saw the prices on the menu. How can you
afford something like this?"

"I make lots of money as a waiter at Ukyou's. The girls there tip very
nice."

"They're pretty aggressive, aren't they?"

Shampoo-kun sighed. "Yes. They like to touch me when I go by tables."

"How can you stand it?" Ranma-chan asked. "I would punch out any guy that
did that to me."

Shampoo-kun considered how to answer that. "I admit, I sort of like the
attention. It nice to have people think me attractive, even as a boy, but
you is also right. I don't like the way they treat me. I would not want to
go out with someone that just treated me like an object, like Mousse. You
never treat me like that. That's one of the reasons I want to go on a date
with you. Unless you no like me and don't want to be on a date."

"Of course not!" Ranma-chan protested vehemently. "I guess I like spending
my time with you. You're the only one I feel comfortable around as a guy or
a girl. I mean it never matters to you."

"And what I am doesn't matter to you either," Shampoo-kun agreed.

The silence hung between them for a while, neither knowing what to say. For
some odd reason the tension between the two of them seemed to increase
despite the assurances they had just exchanged. In truth it felt almost as
though that was the cause of it. Shampoo-kun tried first to break the
tension between them by talking about the weather, people at school, and
other non threatening topics. The attempts failed as neither was in the
mood to sustain a talk about nothing. The minutes stretched as both were at
a loss of how to continue.

Shampoo-kun became more desperate. The date was failing miserably and
Ranma-chan would never want to go out again. The main problem was he felt
too out of his element. Shampoo-kun frantically tried to come up with
something. If they could both talk about something they both enjoyed. That
might work.

"You never told me how you beat the fake Ranma. I missed your magnificent
fight." Shampoo-kun said. Martial arts might do it. If not he was going to
give up.

"You don't want to talk about that sort of stuff. We're on a date. Let's
talk about date stuff. Like...y'know, what people are supposed to talk
about when they're on a date." Whatever that was.

Shampoo-kun shook his head and smiled. "I don't want to talk about 'what
we're supposed to talk about'. I want to talk about martial arts."

"Well. If you say so. But I know that isn't the sort of thing you're
supposed to talk about on a date." 

In spite if herself, Ranma-chan discovered a smile found its way to her
face for the first time in the evening. Things loosened up as she described
in detail the way the fight progressed. Of course everything was slanted to
the 'facts she knew', like there was never any danger of her losing and
most of Ryu's solid blows were just lucky shots. Ranma-chan was happy to
discover that Shampoo-kun gave rapt attention to every detail she was
giving, even going so far as to ask questions as to why she chose a certain
attack or why she made a certain kind of evasion. 

Once finished Ranma-chan interrogated Shampoo-kun and the fight against
Mousse, at least the parts she had missed. With their roles reversed
Ranma-chan was the one asking the questions about why Shampoo-kun did what
he did during the fight. By the time the Amazon was finished with his
description whatever tension existed between the two had disappeared, much
to the mutual relief of the participants. 

"You know something?" Ranma-chan laughed. "This is way more fun than
talking about whatever it was we were supposed to be talking about."

"I agree." Shampoo-kun was more than happy with the way things were turning
out. It was so much better then the start of the evening. If it ended now
the two of them could probably regard it as a success. But it wasn't over.
It felt like it was just beginning.

"Maybe that's the best way to have a date; doing whatever you feel like
doing. Just so long as you have a good time."

"I think you're right," Shampoo-kun said.

The two moved the conversation to their mutual past and the event of the
past few months. All of the good ones and some of the not so good. But
talking about those did nothing to dampen their spirits. It was just talk
between two people that had known each other for almost a year. Two people
that had more things in common than a curse and the uncanny knack for
angering friends as well as foes, even if neither one was sure of exactly
what it was.

Ranma-chan finally found herself fully relaxed. "I feel so much better
now."

Shampoo-kun agreed, then realized what song was playing. It would be the
perfect thing, and Ranma-chan appeared at ease enough to accept. "Ranma,
let's dance."

The redhead suddenly tensed up. "I'd rather not."

"It'll be fun. Come on." Shampoo-kun moved quickly from his chair and
grabbed Ranma-chan before she could react. He practically had to drag her
to the center of the dance floor where several other couples had already
begun to move to the music.

Shampoo-kun was disappointed that Ranma-chan not only refused to relax on
the dance floor, but started to make her way back to the table. He so
wanted to dance with her that it actually hurt. Shampoo-kun held onto the
girl. "What's wrong, Ranma?"

"I can't do this. Let me go!"

"Why?" Something was wrong and it went deeper than a simple desire to not
dance.

"I don't know how to dance," she whispered.

So that was it. For a moment the Amazon had been worried it was him. "I
show you how."

"I don't want to." Ranma-chan tried pulling out of the grip again.

Shampoo-kun held on. "Is it me?"

"No," her voice actually sounded pained. "I don't want to make a fool out
of myself."

"Ranma," Shampoo-kun said as softly as he could to reassure the
surprisingly scared girl. "You can follow me in katas, right."

"Of course." Some of the pride crept back into her voice.

"Think of it like learning a new technique, then follow my lead. I move
slow until you learn it." Given Ranma-chan's ability to learn a kata after
only one or two tries, he had little doubt she would be past the beginner
level after only a few minutes. Shampoo-kun started off with only a basic
dance and made certain that his own moves were obvious as he began to lead,
whispering to Ranma-chan what was going to happen before he did the next
step. As they danced Shampoo-kun made certain to hold onto his partner's
hand, keeping it on his chest as the two moved together.

 It was a very small surprise that once Saotome relaxed, her movements
followed Shampoo-kun's in every way. Soon she needed no instruction as
movements slowly flowed from one into another. Shampoo-kun marveled at
Ranma-chan's natural grace as it was employed in the slow dance. Even the
Amazon had to admit it took him a good bit longer to master even the basics
that his partner was now using. The reminder of Ranma-chan's superiority
did nothing to lessen Shampoo-kun's enjoyment. He was in heaven.

"Where'd you learn to dance so well?" Ranma-chan finally asked as she began
to fully enjoy the flow of movement to the music. It was quite surprising
to learn that dancing was fun. All that time she thought it was just
something girls came up with to encourage romance and sappy stuff like
that.

"In Amazon village, of course. We dance there too. I learn this Japanese
dance at the wedding with Kasumi. Everyone dances everywhere."

"I meant who taught you," she clarified.

"Oh. My mother did. Usually it's the woman who leads in dance with a boy,
but I not mind that it's backwards here. Besides, since I a boy now it's
only fitting I lead."

"Don't get too cocky about that," Ranma-chan warned. "The next time it's me
that leads." Saotome felt her partner go limp for a moment. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Shampoo-kun said as he regained his composure. Ranma-chan said
the next time. She was having a good time and wanted to dance with him
again. The overwhelming flood of emotions nearly brought a tear to his eye.
"I would be very happy to teach you." 

"Great." Without realizing it she rested her head against Shampoo-kun's
chest and slowly relaxed, closing her eyes to allow the music to wash over
her. She could hear her partner's heart beating almost in tune with the
music. 

Time lost all meaning in the dance as one soft tune flowed into the next.
Another rare moment of peace, just like that crystalline night on the
TWPOS. It was meant to be savored while it lasted, and both did exactly
that. Enjoying one another's embrace.

Eventually Ranma-chan felt a hand rest under her chin and point her face
upward. Shampoo-kun was his own bending face down, seeking to meet
Ranma-chan's halfway. As she felt her eyes close she could not help but
compare it to the night they practiced their lines on the roof of the dojo.
Shampoo-kun's eyes still hadn't changed in all that time. 

Their lips were about to meet when...


Earlier:

Tarou had done as Akane requested and flown to the top of the Tower's
restaurant. The view from the inside that was provided was spectacular,
adding to the atmosphere of the place. Tarou had slowly worked his way over
to the windows, staying as low as possible so as not to be noticed while
trying to allow Akane to see in. 

She had watched the duo eat, talk, laugh, and much to her growing anger,
dance. Ranma-chan was the worst, almost acting like she had undergone yet
another personality conversation. If the general behavior wasn't bad
enough, the two of them were leaning close almost as though they were going
to kiss.

Tarou-bull grunted in a panic to catch her attention. She looked down at
him, then followed the course his eyes traced. It led to the building
itself, some twenty feet below the restaurant level.

*CLICK*

"Uh oh!"


Seconds before:

Matsui looked up from the book he was reading back at the aerial cameras
that ran along the building. It wasn't like they had a lot of activity at
the Kanemoto Towers, especially forty stories up in the air. The last time
there was an intruder at that height was when that oni girl had flown too
close and it was assumed she was an alien invader, (well she was, but she
was not invading the building.) Fortunately she was fast enough to avoid
injury. But the thing that was in front of his face now bore no resemblance
to the cute alien girl.

Matsui went for the emergency line. Immediately he heard someone on the
other end pick up. "SIR!" Matsui shouted. "We have a situation in the air!"

"It's not Lum again, is it?"

"No sir!" he said. "It's way too ugly for that! I think it's Rodan!"

"Oh my God!" the voice at the other end exclaimed. "Use the missiles and
pray it's enough to take him out."

"Yes sir!" Matsui's hand went to the emergency air defense missiles.


Inside the restaurant:

...when a loud explosion went off outside. Both of them looked up, startled
at the clamorous noise. Immediately their attention was riveted to the huge
display of multi-colored lights ignited the night sky.

"Oh! That's pretty." Shampoo-kun said.

Ranma-chan agreed. It was a gorgeous display of fireworks, although they
did seem a bit loud. 

It was with a sigh she became aware of the time. "We'd better get going."

Shampoo-kun reluctantly agreed. It was pretty late, and as much as he
wished it were otherwise, all good things did have to come to an end. At
least it was a pleasant one. Too bad they had not kissed. It would have
been the perfect ending to what was an almost perfect evening. 

As the two exited the restaurant and went out into the night air,
Ranma-chan sighed and looked towards the skies.

"You know something?" she asked.

Shampoo-kun shook his head. "What?"

"There was one thing I was afraid of all night long. And I thought when I
saw all those Furinkan girls it was going to come true. I mean all night I
just kept on getting these bad vibes."

"About what?"

"That we were going to get attacked. All night long I thought someone was
going to jump us." She gave an easy laugh. "I guess when you get attacked
as often as we do you tend to get paranoid."

Shampoo-kun had to agree with that. In truth he had had the same feelings
most of the night, but his focus was on his date so much that he had
ignored those feelings. Thank goodness it was just paranoia.

Two people walked past them at that moment. The first man spoke to the
other.

"Did you hear the news?"

"No. What happened?"

"They shot down Rodan near Kanemoto Towers."

"About time the JSDF did something about those damned giant monsters!"

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun looked at each other and shrugged. It had to be
a coincidence.


Nearby, at a small food stand, Shoki looked over the two other patrons that
were seated next to him. It wasn't everyday you saw an attractive, singed
looking girl and her equally singed pet flying minotaur eating sushi. They
both looked really depressed too. For a moment he was tempted to give them
his wish ring, but changed his mind and opted instead to simply buy them
another round of sushi. What would a girl and her pet do with something
like a wish anyway? A full stomach was better and there was less chance of
causing an alternate timeline or some other mess that way. Besides, the
blasted things always pissed the hell out of Pluto, and even he didn't want
to be reprimanded by her yet again.


Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun continued down the street when a familiar figure
in a pretty dress skipped towards them.

"AKARI!!!" Both martial artists shouted simultaneously and prepared for her
to grab some water and change. 

Instead of going for any water she continued on her way, still happily
skipping. "Crush you guys later. Bye" and with that she waved happily at
them and continued to skip along without so much as a second glance at
them, much to Ranma and Shampoo's confusion. The last thing they heard
before she drifted out of sight was something about another date.

They both shrugged and continued on until they came upon a group of people
gathered in front of an alleyway. They picked up on the words, 'panda,'
'strange laugh,' and 'immoral behavior between an animal and a girl' and
ran off. Neither wanted to hear any more. They had already heard enough.
Why spoil a perfect evening?

Ranma-chan was silently wondering what else had occurred while they were on
their date when they passed an electronics store with one of the
television's on in the front window. Saotome took little notice until her
date paused in front to gaze at the picture. 

"What's on?" Ranma-chan asked.

The volume on the set was just high enough to hear from outside. "They said
Flex Lavender is in a special challenge match. I think he cute."

Ranma-chan started to bluster when she noticed Shampoo-kun turn from the
set with a wide grin on his face. 

"But you is much more handsome, Ranma," he added.

She relaxed at that. Of course she was better looking than some mass of
muscle that participated in a fake sport. She was a real fighter. She
returned her attention to the set just to see, and only out of curiosity
since she wasn't jealous, what kind of guy could turn Shampoo-kun's eye.

"And here he is now," the announcer proclaimed. "Escorted to the ring by
his tag team partner, Brute Forcz, FLEX LAVENDER!!!"

It was a hulking guy that was wearing hot pink tights of all things,
accompanied to the ring by what appeared to be another hulk just slightly
smaller than him. In all honesty Ranma-chan thought the guy was ugly as sin
and could not understand why the fans were going wild.

"And the challenger, escorted to the ring by his valet, Kyoko Onamuri..."

At that point Kyoko shouted out, "Ryouga-kun doesn't own a car, so how can
I be his valet?"

The announcer shook his head and continued. "...Ryouga Hibiki." 

Sure enough, Ryouga came out, wearing a pair of yellow and black striped
trunks and looking thoroughly embarrassed. The crowd's reaction was far
less jubilant as he made his way into the ring, Kyoko taking a place
outside the ring.

The announcer continued. "This is a special no disqualification,
electrified steel cage, barbed wire baseball bat match, and if there is no
winner by submission or pinfall in thirty minutes the ring will blow up."

The crowd went wild as the cage dropped down and the weapons were thrown
in. Ryouga panicked. "WHAT KIND OF A MATCH IS THAT?!!!"

"Changing face of the sport, punk! People want blood and they're going to
have it! PREPARE TO DIE, RYOUGA!!!"

"Quit stealing my line! PREPARE TO DIE, FLEX!!!"

On the outside Kyoko suddenly found herself confronted by Flex's tag team
partner. 

"How dare you try to steal my Flex?"

Kyoko gave a disgusted look. "He's dating guys now?"

"I'm no man! I'm a woman!"

Kyoko looked at her more closely. "But you have a mustache."

"It's not my fault electrolysis doesn't work. NOW DIE!!!"

Kyoko suddenly found herself using all of her martial arts abilities trying
to stay alive.

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun looked at each other, sadly shook their heads,
said "baka's" simultaneously, and walked off. 

It had been one interesting date.


Much later, Ai and Ukyou arrived at the restaurant and prepared to say good
night. The two had walked around most of the night, either talking with one
another or trying to make sense of all that had happened. Ai was about to
leave when she came close to Ukyou.

"You've kissed girls before, haven't you?" 

Ukyou knew where this was leading to. Despite that she didn't have the
heart to lie. "As part of my disguise at the guy's school, yes. I did. But
I didn't enjoy it!"

"Methinks thou doth protest too much," Ai snickered. "Don't worry, if
you're that uneasy about it, I'm not going to force myself on you. But give
me a chance and you'll see it's not all that bad. I'll pick you up before
school tomorrow?"

If Ukyou was going to try to get Ai out of her life, now was the time.
Before tonight she would have taken any opportunity to get rid of her. Now
she wasn't so sure. There wasn't any risk in keeping Ai around, so there
wasn't any need to be afraid.

"Sure. Tomorrow then."

For the first time Ukyou could remember, Ai gave her a genuine smile, not
one forced by the pill, and the truth be known, it did look good. Ukyou
found herself smiling in return as Ai left and she entered her restaurant.
It was already occupied as she found a banged up Ryouga and Kyoko inside,
each with a glazed expression. 

"What happened to you guys?" Ukyou asked.

"Got into a special challenge match with Flex," Ryouga mumbled. "I won."

"His girlfriend's a real brute. Managed to beat her though,"  Kyoko said.

Ukyou made her way to the grill to make a late night snack. "At least
that's over with."

"Not exactly," Kyoko corrected.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well," Ryouga began. "I sort of accepted a return match next week."

"It's going to be a mixed tag match. I'm going to help Ryouga." Somehow,
Kyoko did not sound thrilled about that, not even bothering to use the
'kun' for Ryouga.

"Ryouga no baka," Ukyou said under her breath, but without the resentment
it usually had.


Epilogue

China

The Shogun looked over the now completely enhanced Eight Devils of Kimone.
The changes were unobservable to the naked eye save a few notable
exceptions, such as the compound eyes the hunchbacked Mushizo possessed, or
the fangs Benisato gained along with her other newfound abilities.

"I can control more wasps than ever. And I can see through my children's
eyes." Mushizo's joy could barely be contained. 

"Strength flows through my arms like never before." That was from Benisato,
whose arms actually elongated like a snake's as though to prove the point.

Zakuro began tossing various forms of explosive in the air, juggling them.
"Unbelievable, 
I don't need to make or steal these things. They just appear and only I can
make them detonate." She turned to the Shogun. "Where do they come from?"

"Your heart," he replied.

"I don't have one of those anymore." Zakuro laughed deeply. "I feel more
alive than ever."

What a poor choice of words, the Shogun thought. They were not alive so
much as corpses bound to his own life force. True, he had resurrected them,
but that existence hinged solely upon his own continued survival; an anchor
for them to remain in the realm of the living. The ultimate form of
control.

"It would be safe to assume that you have enhanced our abilities for a
reason?" Gemma said, capturing the attention of the rest of the Devils.

"Yes. It is. I need you to do a task for me," the Shogun informed the
group.

"We get to kill, right?" Tessai was anxious to see what kind of destruction
he could cause with his increased strength and speed. There was no telling
what kind of a body count he could accumulate now.

"Yes, you do." With a wave of his hand a nearby table suddenly exploded
into an image of light. The light took the shape of a three dimensional
object which slowly rotated in a circle at a single point above the table.

"What is that?" Amazingly, even the blind Mujuru could sense the image in
detail, and sight was not one of his newfound abilities.

"That," the Shogun began. "is your target. It's called Mt. Phoenix. I need
that location for the final phase of the plan. Nowhere else will do."

Gemma examined the three dimensional image of the mountain. It was a
precisely detailed cut away to the inside of the mountain. There appeared
to be man-made structures within the many caverns of the mountain itself.
For some reason he had an impression it represented the way it was in the
present, not what the Shogun planned to do with it.

"There are already people there?" Gemma asked.

"Yes. An entire race of humanoid avians affectionately called the 'Bird
People'. I want you to kill them." 

"How many?" Shujima rasped from the within shadows. 

The Shogun did not bother looking in the direction the question had come
from. "I said I want you to kill them. All of them." 


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks to Krista Perry for allowing me to use the Shadowcat reference and
Jason Liao for coming up with the Usagi-kyaku.

The ED meets dog scene was actually done by Frank Miller and Walt Simonson.
ED-209 belongs to the creators of Robocop.

And of course a special thanks to:

Ryan Anderson
James Robert Bader
Bloodblade
Gary Kleppe
Jason Liao
Lord Talon
Miashara
Dr. Wade Tritschler

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/towers/5920