Prologue

Fingers of golden light clawed their way over the horizon, seeking the
lands beyond to bathe them in their fiery glow. Gently, dawn broke,
highlighting the gray-brown exterior of Furinkan High as the land
sluggishly woke from its deep nocturnal slumber. The sun alerted the birds
to waken and cry out in celebration of the morning. Soon, they were joined
by the sounds of heavy machinery in greeting the new day. Deep baritone
rumbles reverberated off the walls of the school as a number of unusual
modifications were made to the higher institute of learning.

Two figures stood apart from the construction workers, choosing to observe
all that was going on from the front of the school. They admired the work
as large mounds of earth were ripped from the ground and several rows of
new trees were added to the front of the school. They continued watching as
a small army of workers toiled in the track and athletic fields, working
quickly to finish their job before the new school day started.

The one on the left was a slightly heavy-set man whose apparent bulk was,
in truth, more muscle than fat. He wore a loose, garish outfit with a
tropical motif, mostly in a loud red and blue mixture that made one's eyes
want to water. Through darkened sunglasses he watched the sunrise, then
took a sip of the pineapple juice he held in his hand. "You be t'inkin' de
lil' wahines goan 'be pretty surprised when dey be comin' to de school
today?"

"I should say so." The other man nodded in satisfaction at the work. He was
larger than his companion, standing just under seven feet tall with a broad
chest that could not be hidden, even under his outfit. Anyone looking at
him would not only have noticed his tremendous height, but also that he was
somewhat oval shaped, his large, well-tailored brown suit only adding to
the appearance. His face was exceptionally round, and quite ugly. Hair that
was oily and black was pulled back tight around his skull.

"I wen' lookin' over de reports dat da assistant principal sendin' me about
dis lot. Dey ain't gonna' like some o' de new rules that goan' be comin'
down today. You sure you up fo' dis, brudda? Dese keiki are some tough
cookies, yeah!"

In answer, the larger man crossed his arms and scoffed. His voice was deep
and scratchy as he said, "It matters little. They will bow in obedience to
you on this day, or else they shall be forced to deal with me. There's no
student body in the world that can withstand the measures I'll take in
forcing their acquiescence. Discipline must always be maintained. Always."

"And good haircuts. Dere's always gotta be de good lookin' haircuts too."

"Right. And haircuts too."

"And clean bathrooms. Dere's always gotta be de spic-and-span lookin'
bathrooms too."

"Right. And clean bathrooms too."

"And lots of statues of de good-lookin' principal."

"Whatever." The larger man shook his head. All right. So maybe this
principal wasn't exactly the most normal person on the block. At least he
took discipline seriously, or he wouldn't have called the most powerful
disciplinarian around to keep his largely juvenile delinquent student
population in line.

Gompachi Chabane cracked his knuckles and smiled. No matter how tough the
students might have thought they were, they would be no match for a teacher
that was one step up the evolutionary ladder from them.

It was not a good day to be a student at Furinkan High



Ranma 1/2 Presents:
Shampoo 1/2
'Lost Chapter 1'

Da Laws of Discipline

All C+C craved for. You can contact me at sommer@3rdm.net

Standard Disclaimer:
Hell, no. I don't own the characters.

L.Ang has given a home to all of my fics,
http://angcobra.jumpfun.com/dbsommer.html

Also Azatlan has given Shampoo 1/2 a home at:
http://www.geocities.com/~azatlan/Special-Series/shampoo.html

Bloodblade has also put it on his webpage at:
http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/towers/5920

Slashley also has it at:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Shrine/5747/Shampoo.html





Yep, it's finally back (sort of). This was originally written WAY back when
I was first starting Shampoo 1/2. Back then I actually had a chapter or two
written ahead of time (hey, I was writing in script format, what did you
expect?) and as the time to release this one neared, I came to a couple of
conclusions:

1: The story was going to be longer than I had originally thought.
2: This chapter was more silly than anything else and didn't have anything
like character development in it.

This was done early in my 'career,' so in spite of the revision, it'll
probably show. It might be nice to read, but since it didn't have anything
major to add to the plot, it was best if I didn't extend what was going to
be a long story further with events that didn't keep things moving along.
So it went on the shelf to collect dust, so to speak, waiting for the day I
might convert it to prose and release it. Well, after, oh seven months or
so since the last chapter of Shampoo 1/2, here we are. (and no, don't ask
me when I might start the sequel. I still haven't figured it out yet
myself. Hopefully I can start writing about the honeymoon cruise soon)

These events take place between chapters 8 and 9. Meaning Ukyou and Shampoo
still really don't get along. Ranma and Ryouga still really don't get
along. And Ghost Sweeper Minami has just been introduced. Akane's hair is
still exceptionally short thanks to LinLin trying to take off her head.
Shampoo goes to school as a guy and everyone calls 'him' Ranma, and Ranma
goes to school as and everyone calls 'her' Shampoo. I think that just about
covers it.

And with that out of the way, here we go..


An alternate universe:
What has gone on before, The Saotomes traveled to Jusenkyou and began to
spar, not realizing Shampoo and Mousse had already began a duel there. One
mid-air collision and bath in Spring of Young Drowned Man later, we have a
male Shampoo as well as a female Ranma. (So Ranma-chan= female Ranma.
Shampoo-kun= male Shampoo) Shampoo elected to travel to Japan with Ranma
and accidentally became engaged to Kasumi. After that was cleared up Ranma
became engaged to Akane. On the first day of school, water and confusion
mixed causing everyone to believe Ranma-chan is Shampoo and Shampoo-kun is
Ranma. Most of the women in the school have been attempting to defeat
'Ranma' in order to date him ever since. Last chapter a Fear causing demon
attacked the school, and was driven off by the combined efforts of Akane
and the newly arrived addition to the school, a young up and coming Ghost
Sweeper by the name of Minami.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


"Out of the way, slowpoke!" Ranma-chan vaulted over his father by flipping
in mid-air, planting his hand on Genma's head and using it as a springboard
to get past him and to the breakfast table. The force of Ranma-chan's push
proved enough to throw Genma off-balance. Pinwheeling his arms like a
giant, overweight windmill, he tried to keep from falling facefirst into
the floor. Just as it appeared his efforts were and vain and he would fall
down, he somehow managed to regain his footing. With both feet firmly
planted and his vertical base reestablished, a smile spread across his
features. He could still take what his son dished out.

Then Shampoo-kun came through, following Ranma-chan's course by using his
foot to spring off Genma's head and past him. This time the big man didn't
have a chance as he ended up falling facefirst into the wooden floorboards.

"Watch your footing, Mr. Saotome," Kasumi said as she walked past his
fallen form and into the kitchen.

By the time Genma recovered he discovered that breakfast was almost over
and that the best food had already been eaten. He bemoaned his fate. Did
his only child expect him to starve?

Ranma-chan wiped several crumbs from her chin. She would have considered
breakfast quite tasty, had she taken the time to taste it rather than
simply inhaling it directly to her stomach. "Let's get going to-" She
stopped as a red bento box, neatly wrapped up with a green bow, was placed
before her, right in-between the dishes that she had held breakfast moments
before. The only problem with that was who had placed it there. "Akane, is
that-"

"Lunch for you," Akane smiled warmly. This time it was going to work. This
time Ranma would enjoy the food and thank her. She just knew it, deep in
her heart. It was like a premonition.

"Tough luck." Shampoo-kun smiled at the victim, at least until Akane
plopped down a box in front of him as well.

"And one for Nabiki." Akane's action was returned by a flat stare from her
sister, one that she noticed immediately. "Hey, I'm just trying to help out
Kasumi."

There was a loud thud to her left. Everyone turned to see Shampoo-kun's
bonbori embedded in the box. "Oops! Bonbori slipped from grasp. Poor lunch.
Is too, too bad." The denial actually carried a hint of credibility, a
testament to Shampoo-kun's acting ability. Not that anyone actually
believed it.

The cursed Amazon was still apologizing when Akane placed another box in
front of him. "Don't worry. I made an extra. Luckily, I know you're not so
clumsy as to let that happen again." That carried a hint of warning to it.

"Heh." Shampoo-kun laughed weakly while cursing his luck.

"Time," Nabiki announced as she fingered her watch, then got up and headed
for the door.

Running late, there were no further arguments as the quartet gathered their
things and hurried to school, Ranma-chan resisting Nabiki's efforts to
unload 'her fiancee's' lunch upon her when Akane was out of easy hearing
range.

Halfway to school, Ukyou and Ryouga joined up with the others. A new
marching order followed as the two groups mixed to become one. Ryouga was
on the far end, followed by Ukyou (who was making sure a fight didn't break
out between him and Ranma-chan,) Ranma-chan, (who wanted to spend time next
to Ukyou, and to make sure Ryouga didn't bother her old acquaintance),
Akane, (who was trying to keep as much distance between Ukyou and
Shampoo-kun as she could), and Shampoo-kun, (who was scowling at Ukyou for
being too close to Ranma-chan) with Nabiki staying far behind the group,
lest an errant spatula or bonbori strike her should a fight break out.

Upon arriving at school, a battle cry roared as an unusually large group
came to try their luck at the 'dating game.'

Shampoo-kun sighed, "Don't girls ever give up?" and drew his bonbori. He
had thought things were getting better since the number of girls had been
steadily dropping since the play incident. But apparently it was just a
lull in the storm. The only thing the situation had going for it was that
it helped to keep him in shape, not that playing with annoying
spatula-wielding crossdressers and martial arts figure skaters made for an
easy time.

In spite of the larger number of attackers, Shampoo-kun began taking them
out easily enough, one per blow. Much to his annoyance, Ukyou was shouting
words of encouragement towards the girls, telling them that they should be
trying harder to 'score with the stud.' She even went so far as to try to
help one of the girls get back up and into the fight. Shampoo-kun made a
quick mental note to later explain to Ukyou in excruciating detail what he
thought about girls who tried to help his opponents out (ie.: he was going
to hit her).

A large number of blows later, he was down to one opponent: a girl he was
unfamiliar with. She was tall, wore glasses, and had an odd-looking
cylinder strapped to her back. A couple of hoses lead from the cylinder to
two nozzles strapped to the back of her wrists.

"I, Nanami Kisho, President of the Science Club, shall defeat you, Ranma
Saotome." She struck as dramatic a pose as she could muster with a large
cylinder strapped on her back. "I have been analyzing your attack and
defense capabilities, and have devised a strategy which will render you
insensate, and mine." She decided not to go with an insane cackle. It was
just so cliché for a scientist to do that. Besides, a recent cold had left
her throat quite sore.

"You go for it, Nanami!" Ukyou waved her spatula high in the air.

Nanami waved an acknowledgment to her cheering section and test fired her
weapon, making certain the nozzles were sighted in properly. A gray
substance shot out from one of the wrist nozzles and landed on a nearby
student's foot.

"Eww," Hiroshi commented as he tried to remove the substance, only to
discover his foot was stuck to the ground.

It worked. Nanami gave a little cheer before turning to Shampoo-kun. "Let's
get sticky!"

That made the Amazon sweat. He had never had to deal with an attack of an
adhesive nature before. Nanami drew closer, and he was still trying to come
up with a defense, when Ukyou's laughing caught his attention once more.
Maybe some good could come out of the whole situation.

Shampoo-kun dodged the initial spray Nanami fired at him by doing a
handspring leap. Nanami continued firing, still trying to get used to
aiming the specially designed glue as the bursts came progressively closer
to her prey. Once she thought she had Shampoo-kun in her sights, she fired
again. Shampoo-kun was prepared as he ducked to the left, leaving Ukyou,
who he had landed in front of, to take the full brunt of the blast. The
chef was caught so off-guard by the attack that she didn't have a chance to
bring her spatula up to block the shot. An instant later she found herself
covered head-to-toe with glue.

Her efforts to move were every bit as successful as Hiroshi's had been
earlier. She shot an evil glare towards the trio next to her: Ranma-chan,
Akane, and Ryouga. "Not a word. Do you hear? Not... a... word."

As hard as she tried, Ranma-chan could not resist giggling at the ludicrous
sight. That gained her Ryouga's anger at "making fun of Uk-chan's
predicament." Akane fared better as she turned away with only a smile on
her face.

The verbal exchange between Ranma-chan and Ryouga came to a halt as the
redhead came up with an idea. She pulled the lunch Akane had made for her
out of her backpack. "Catch!" she threw it to Shampoo-kun, who caught it
even as she dodged yet another blast of glue from Nanami.

The Amazon looked it over for a second, wondering why the Ranma-chan had
tossed it to him, when he caught on. He pulled out his own lunch and
charged Nanami.

Unused to the nuances of combat, the president of the science club panicked
at Shampoo-kun's charge towards her. Shots sprayed wide of Shampoo-kun as
he continued running headlong towards the girl. Nanami was just starting to
recover her composure, and her aim, when the Amazon jammed the twin boxes
in the nozzles of the glue backpack. With the openings effectively plugged
up, (and not going anywhere due to the lunches being glued to the openings)
the lines leading to the nozzles began to bulge under the pressure of
releasing the backpack's payload. Combat was forgotten as Nanami
desperately tried to remove her backpack while Shampoo-kun elected to
display the better part of valor and put as much distance as he could
between him and his opponent. The straps of the backpack were tangled up,
leaving Nanami unable to remove her invention in time as both lines
ruptured simultaneously, sending streams of gray high into the air. At
about ten meters they reached the height of their arc and fell back down to
earth, landing on Nanami and covering her entire body with a thick inch of
glue.

Akane watched until the end of the fight before turning to Ranma-chan. "Was
that-"

"-the lunch you made for me? Yep." Ranma-chan thumped Akane on the back.
"Thanks for the lunch. It came in handy today." She walked off, following
Shampoo-kun, who had grabbed a wandering Ryouga as he tried to enter the
school on his own.

It took Akane a moment to recover from the unusual gesture of gratitude
that had come from her fiancé. "Hey! You were supposed to eat it, not use
it as a weapon!" She continued yelling as she tried to catch up to
Ranma-chan, who had already entered the school. As she made her way inside,
she took note that there seemed to be a lot of palm trees in the front of
the school today.

With a supreme force of effort, Ukyou pried her now partially glued lips
apart. "Damnit! One of you jackasses help me get out of this stuff!" No one
heard her as she realized she was now all alone. "Please! Anyone! Even you,
Shampoo!" As she finished saying Shampoo's name, Ukyou's lips ended up
stuck together again. She cursed silently that someone was going to pay for
that indignity. And her initials were Shampoo.


"So, what do you think of your first day of school?"

"It reminds me of the Chinese Hell of Broken Glass, only more painful,"
Minami told Akane. So far, the first day of Minami's enforced servitude to
the state was proving itself about as delightful as the training she had
undergone to resist demonic horror auras. That particular torture had
entailed being tied to a chair while being forced to listen to 'Reba West:
The Heavy Metal Years' albums until she nearly went mad from the mental
anguish. On the bright side, she could now confirm that there were worse
things than losing your soul to a higher demonic power.

As Minami idly watched Ukyou try to shake a couple of papers free from her
still sticky body, she admitted that at least no one had tried to make her
wear one of those ridiculous school uniforms yet. This way the world would
know she was a ghost sweeper, and a force to be reckoned with. As an added
bonus, there was always the possibility that the teachers would be afraid
to give her homework as well.

Dreams of being free and hunting down enough demons to make her the top
ghost sweeper in the world were cut short as the panicked cry of a crowd of
women came from outside the windows of the room. Everyone got out of their
seats and rushed to find out what the commotion was about; all except for
Ukyou, whose seat remained stuck to her bottom. She was forced to more
waddle than walk when she made her way next to Ryouga.

Below, a pack of girls, holding an assortment of brooms, lacrosse sticks,
and other instruments of blunt trauma, was chasing a diminutive figure that
was dressed in a red gi, wearing a tied-off piece of cloth to cover his
face, and carrying a large black sack twice the size of his body. Several
bras and panties whose colors sharply contrasted with the black of the bag
could easily be seen from the room above.

Ranma-chan wore the angriest expression of those that knew Happosai, but
not by much. "I thought we got rid of that creep," she growled. It figured
that the little pervert would come back, even after he left his little note
about leaving for good after the training trip he took.

Minami's reaction differed somewhat from the others. "A demon!"

As she jumped out the window, casting a spell so that she gently floated
down rather than plummet like a rock, she wondered why such an obviously
perverted and evil creature failed to give off a more powerful aura of
magic. Still, it didn't matter. The diminutive demon would fall before her
onslaught.

As light as a feather, Minami landed below the window and directly into the
path of the monster. A dull blue glow collected at the tip of her finger,
and she began to trace a pattern with it. To the surprise of the others
watching the scene, they saw that wherever her finger moved across the air,
a distinct blue glow lingered behind. In a matter of moments, there was an
intricate symbol hanging vertically in front of Minami, and directly in
front of the oncoming Happosai. Everyone stopped to watch the pretty
lights, all that was save Happosai, who was too delighted that he was
pulling ahead of his pursuers. He looked over his shoulder and promised the
pursuing girls he'd be back tomorrow.

While he was still preoccupied, Minami released her spell. The glowing blue
symbol gave off a brilliant flash of light, then hurled itself towards
Happosai. The magic energy closed the distance far too quickly for him to
avoid it. All he had time to do was turn at the last second to see it
before it struck him full in the chest.

There was an earsplitting explosion as an accompanying flash of light
temporarily blinded everyone. Ranma-chan's eyes were the first to clear as
she tried looking at where Happosai had been With all the hope in the world
in her voice, she called down to Minami, "Do you think that worked?"

Minami responded by directing a 'V' for victory sign toward Ranma-chan. "Of
course it did. When it comes to banishing twisted little demons, there's no
one better." She placed a hand to her chin in thought and wondered how many
points a minor demonling like that was worth. She was still considering it
when Happosai darted from out of the center of the fading glow and glomped
himself snugly onto Minami's chest.

"Oh, I like you." Happosai moved his head up and down, enjoying the feel of
her silken robe. "Your breasts are so magically comforting."

Minami looked down at the pervert nestled in the middle of her cleavage.
She had heard about the horrors of sex demons, but had never crossed paths
with one before. But now, all she could do was-

"AHHHH!"

Ranma-chan sighed as Minami ran back and forth in terror, trying to
dislodge the pervert from her bosom. "I should have known. He's evil, just
not supernaturally so."


An hour later in geography class. Minami was still muttering about how she
was going to learn some really nasty techniques, like disintegration, in
preparation for the next round with Happosai. Ranma-chan and Ryouga were
standing out in the hall with buckets for arguing about who was more
annoying to Ukyou and why the other one should stay away from her. Akane
was muttering about how stupid Ranma-chan was in picking a fight with
Ryouga in the middle of class. Shampoo-kun was happy since geography was
one of the handful of subjects he did well in, since only a minimum of
Japanese was required. And Ukyou had finally learned to use her pencil to
turn the pages of her book instead of trying to use her hand, since each
time she grabbed a page it had ended up stuck to her hand and ripped out of
the book.

In summation, it was just another typical day at school, at least until the
public announcement system rang out:

"All students and teachers, meet in the school auditorium right away."

Curious glances were exchanged,  then everyone did as they were instructed.
Within moments the halls were filled by the student body as it made its way
to its destination. Almost as soon as the students began walking, they
noticed something different about the school.

"Who put these busts of some weird-looking guy with a palm tree growing out
of the top of his head in the hall?" Ranma-chan asked. When they had first
come to school the hallways had looked normal, but now there were a series
of busts of the same, smiling man with sunglasses lining both sides of the
hallways. Each one looked identical to the others.

"Busts?" Shampoo-kun asked as he looked at the short statues of the heads
as well.

"Yeah," Ranma-chan explained. "Those statue thingies you're looking at.
Those are called busts."

Shampoo-kun looked in confusion at her. "Shampoo thought bust was another
word for breasts." He pointed at Ranma-chan's chest.

Ranma-chan began to squirm a little under the close scrutiny. "Well, yeah.
It is."

"Why they call the short statue bust if it stop before it get to bust?"

"Ah, well..." Ranma-chan was trying hard to come up with an answer, when
Ukyou swatted Shampoo-kun in the head with a spatula.

"Quit asking dumb questions." She hefted the spatula before her. "We have
to get to the auditorium."

Shampoo-kun held his head for a moment, then brought up both fists. "We
have time for fight first. Besides. It only take Sh...errr, Ranma about ten
seconds to beat stupid spatula girl anyway."

Akane, Ranma-chan and Ryouga were about to interject themselves into the
upcoming fight, when cries of, "Look, Ukyou's trying to score a date with
Ranma," began to circulate among the crowd of students.

Ukyou backed away from Shampoo-kun and gave a look of embarrassment towards
the crowd. "No, I'm not! Besides, he's a pervert anyway. I don't want to
date him."

"Ohh, listen to how hard she's protesting. She wants him bad," someone near
the back said.

"No, I don't," Ukyou protested again.

Her protest elicited the usual reactions:

"She's blushing."

"She's awfully antagonistic towards him. I think it's just her way of
hiding her affections. You know, like a form of denial."

"I bet she enjoyed it when he sliced her top open in that duel they had."

"I think they'd make a cute couple."

"Ranma always suspected stupid spatula girl had the hots for him."

Shampoo-kun's icy comment snapped Ukyou out of her stupor as she suddenly
found herself the center of everyone's attention. It took some effort to
resist the compulsion to start whacking people in the head with her spatula
until they had all shut up. Luckily for her, someone else stepped in.

"BE QUIET!" Minami shouted through a megaphone. As the crowd quieted down,
she turned away from the megaphone and whispered to Ukyou, "Don't worry.
I'll take care of this nasty little rumor before it gets started."

Ukyou nodded in appreciation for her new friend's effort on her behalf.

Minami pointed the megaphone again at the crowd again. "Now just because
Ukyou's always staring at Sh...Ranma's cute little hiney-"

"I do not!" Ukyou protested.

Minami turned away from the megaphone and whispered to Ukyou, "Don't worry
about it. It's okay to look at the packaging, just so long as you don't try
to open the box. Now let me handle the situation." She gave Ukyou a knowing
wink, and was about to use the megaphone again, when she turned back for a
second and said, "And you do too look at his bottom."

Before Ukyou could get her second protest off, Minami shouted again. "And
just because she has erotic dreams about him-"

"I do not have erotic dreams about him or anyone else!" Ukyou shouted at
her.

There was another wink directed at Ukyou, then Minami picked up where she
left off. "-doesn't mean she's interested in him. In fact, I can guarantee
she's not. Do you want to know why?"

An unanimous "Yes!" rose from the crowd.

"Well I'll tell you why." Minami took a moment for dramatic pause, then
said, "It's because she's gay!"

A spatula met the back of Minami's head....hard.

As the ghost sweeper began to pick herself off the ground, she found her
effort to go from horizontal to vertical speeded up by Ukyou. "EXACTLY HOW
DOES THIS HELP ME?!" She began shaking Minami back and forth like a rag
doll.

"Well, you see," Minami explained while holding her head, "since everyone
now thinks you're gay, no one will believe you're interested in the
boy-type Shampoo anymore. Problem solved." The ghost sweeper gave a wide
grin at her own ingenuity.

Shampoo-kun shook his head as Ukyou began choking Minami. "That sound like
a plan Ranma come up with," he said.

Ranma-chan nodded in agreement. "Yep. That sounds...HEY! It does not! How
can you say that? My plans are...Akane, stop nodding your head too! My
plans are not that bad. In fact-"

At that point, much to the surprise of everyone, all of the busts' mouths
began moving. There was the slight sound of electronic feedback, as though
they were all speaking through microphones. As one voice they said, "Dere's
no loiterin' in da halls, my little keiki."

Everyone only had a second to give a startled look at the talking busts
before the mouths, remaining open, began to spray out powerful streams of
water into the hall, effectively dousing the entire crowd. Like a herd of
cattle caught in the middle of a sudden thunderstorm, they created a
virtual stampede in an effort to get away from the worst of the sprays.
Once they started moving along, the front of the pack discovered (more by
accident than by design) a corridor that was clear of any jets of water,
despite a series of busts that lined the hallway. Quickly, the mass of
humanity hurried down the water-free corridor until they came upon a set of
double doors. They burst through the doors, only to discover that they had
at last reached their intended destination: the auditorium.

Ranma-chan and her group hurried inside to avoid getting trampled by the
rest of the student body. "Let's hurry and grab a seat next to the
bleachers."

Shampoo-kun looked them over, then sniffed the air. "Why they call them
bleachers if they not smell like bleach?"

A large spatula was brandished menacingly in Shampoo-kun's direction. "Oh
no. We are not going through that again. Let's just grab some chairs on the
floor."

They followed the suggestion and found a tight cluster of chairs. The
majority of the homeroom followed suit and sat in a pattern similar to that
of their class. The auditorium filled up quickly. Soon all of the students
were on chairs on the floor or the bleachers, while the teachers of the
various departments went to the stage and used the set of chairs that was
located next to the podium.

"Do you smell coconut?" Akane asked as she sniffed the air.

Ranma-chan sniffed the air and was about to agree when the doors leading to
the auditorium burst open. Everyone turned to see the cause of the
disruption behind them was the man from the busts; the palm tree growing on
the top of his head was the giveaway. Puzzled expressions dominated the
auditorium once everyone had a full view of him. The man was nearing his
forties and was wearing a garish combination of Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and
even sandals that were hard on the eyes. He speeded along, using a
skateboard to move quickly and effortlessly, almost like a demon on wheels.
Rather than go straight up the aisles and to the stage, he built up some
speed and chose to leap in the air with his skateboard over the crowd.

Even with the velocity he had gained it was not sufficient to get over the
entire audience with the one leap, so he used Ranma-chan's head as a
springboard to continue his jump and landed safely on the other side of the
crowd. The moment Ranma-chan recovered she was all for beating the man up,
but Akane and Shampoo-kun held her back, preferring to see what was going
on before Ranma-chan attacked the newcomer.

The man pulled up to the podium, did a small circle, then stopped.
Ranma-chan noted that the teachers appeared just as confused as the
students at the eyesore's presence. While everyone was whispering in
confusion, the man turned on the microphone at the podium, and without any
further fanfare, began to speak.

"Aloha everybody. Today I be introducing you to de new big kahuna around
here: me." Principal Kunou allowed that to soak in. He had them off-guard,
just the way he liked. It would make what was to come so much easier for
him. "Dat's right, my little keiki. I de principal. I wen' leavin' de
assistant in charge so I can go to Havai'i on sabbatical. But dat brudda
quit because o' some ghost business, so da school board wen' callin' me
back. 'You de only man fo' dis job,' dey tell me." Actually, they had said
there was no one else on hand that was willing to take the job, but since
the end of the journey was the same, what difference did it make in which
path was taken? "Lucky for dem, I was already saying to myself, 'Kunou,
what could you do to be makin' dem schools back home better?'"

Everyone's ears picked up on the word 'Kunou'. Tatewaki suddenly found
himself the center of attention, and reacted accordingly. "It is true, this
black mark on the Shooting Star of Furikan High-"

"I thought it was 'Blue Thunder'?" someone mentioned.

"Be silent!" Kunou snapped. He took a moment to compose himself. There was
no sense in denying the truth. "Loathe though I am to admit it, this
half-mad creature is my own sire."

"So there's three lunatics in the family. Why am I not surprised?"
Ranma-chan commented dryly.

The principal continued on his speech. "So, since it's de first day of
school, we're goan' right in and institutin' de new rules. All of de little
keiki watch real close."

He pointed at two students towards the front of the auditorium, a girl and
a boy, and indicated they should come forward. They looked at each other
curiously, wondering why they were singled out, then approached the podium.
As they climbed the set of steps to the stage, the principal grabbed two
wooden chairs and offered them the seats. Both of them accepted and sat
down, pointed outwards to the crowd.

The principal's teeth gave off a  predatory gleam as he smiled. He moved
directly behind the two students. "Now here's what de first rule is bein'."
He pulled out a large, poorly-drawn picture of a boy and girl. The boy's
head was shaved completely and the girl had a short close-cropped haircut.
"Dat's de way it's going to be from now on, my little keiki. Marabouzu
style hair cuts for de boys. And Okkapa hair cuts for all de girls. Don't
dey look stylish?"

The two students on the stage tried to get up, but the large hands of the
principal forced them back down into their seats.

"I don't want to get my haircut," the boy protested. The girl followed in
agreement.

"Well, I'm supposin' you might not have to." He held out two coconuts. "In
one of dese, dere's a pass to get out of de haircut. If you be pickin' de
right one, you doan' have to be gettin' the cut."

The two students looked at each other hesitantly. Seeing no other way out
of their predicament, they decided to play the game. The girl picked the
one on the left. "How do I open it?"

"You look like de' bright lil' wahine. You figure It out."

The girl smashed the coconut over the principal's head. Once opened, a
small slip of paper fell to the ground. The boy picked it up and the two
read it aloud.

"You be losin,'" they said as one.

The principal whipped out a set of shears. It was over faster than it had
begun as two sets of brown locks gently tumbled to the floor. The two
students ran their hands over the scalps where their hair had been a moment
before, and upon realizing that it wasn't some horrible nightmare, both
burst into tears.

If the principal took notice of their reactions, he gave no indication of
it. He returned his attention to the student body and allowed them to
admire his handiwork. The students' 'admiration' took the form of cries of
denial and protestation at the idea of having their hair sheared off, or
nearly all of in the case of the girls.

On the stage, Godai-sensei watched what was happening and decided things
had gone far enough. Sucking in a deep breath to calm himself, he got to
his feet. For a brief moment he almost reconsidered and sat back down, his
courage leaving him as it had so many times during his courtship of his
wife. Instead of giving up, he focused on how he had eventually sucked up
his courage and won in the end. With his course decided, he cleared his
throat to gain the Principal's attention.

"Sir. You are asking too much of the students to just have their hair cut
like that," Godai proudly declared.

The Principal took a moment to look him over. "And you are?"

"Yusaku Godai."

The Principal pulled out his shears once again. "It be lookin' to me like
you got de nice big head of hair that might need a little trimmin." He
clicked the shears together several times.

Godai backed away, holding his hands up in a warding gesture. "No way! My
wife likes my hair as is, and so do I!"

A disappointed look crossed the Principal's features. "Well, if you doan'
wan' the haircut, then you've got to cuttin' de students' hair instead." He
handed Godai an extra pair of shears. "And dis here gorilla costume. It
helps to set de mood." He held one out for Godai to look at.

Godai looked at the suit, looked at the shears in his hand, then gave them
back to the Principal. "Absolutely not. I refuse to do your dirty work for
you."

"Ah, ah, ah." The Principal waved his finger back and forth as though
telling a four year old that he was being naughty. "Here's de way it works.
If you doan' wanna' help me institute de new rules, then you doan' get to
work here. Got it?"

"You mean you'd fire me just because I won't help you cut the students'
hair?"

"Ah, I see de college education wasn't wasted on you."

Godai wasn't sure if the man was being sarcastic or not. It was so hard to
tell because he was so weird to begin with. Being given the choice of
explaining to his wife that he had lost his job, compared to making other
students cry like the ones' that the Principal had, was enough to make
Godai want to join the bald and near bald students in their weeping. But
when it came right down to it, he had no choice at all.

"I can't."

"You'd better be fillin out de new application den, cause you're out of
here as of today. Ain't no way dis here Principal's goan be lettin de
discipline break down on his shift."

Voices began shouting out in protest, the loudest ones coming from the
students of Godai's homeroom. The loudest one of all coming from
Ranma-chan.

"You can't fire Godai-sensei, you south seas geek!" Ranma-chan stood on the
top of the back of her chair, towering above the rest of the students and
commanding their attention. "He might be a pushover and a bit spineless,
heck, that's why we like him so much!"

"Hey!" Godai began to protest.

The redhead continued, unabated. "But dammit, he's also a good man, and you
can't fire someone like him just because he won't follow your crazy ideas!"

The crowd began to cheer in agreement at Ranma-chan's speech. A chant of
"Godai" started to ring out when a loud voice boomed, "QUIET!"

The command effectively silenced the crowd. Students looked in confusion at
one another as they realized that the voice had been far too deep to have
come from the principal.

"To your left," the voice called out.

Everyone looked to the left. No one was there.

"I meant my left. Sorry."

Everyone looked to the other left and saw him. Nearly seven feet tall and
three hundred and fifty pounds, Gompachi Chabane stood before them, an ugly
man with oily black hair and a protruding forehead that reminded others of
how Neanderthals were usually depicted, except he wasn't wearing a
sabre-tooth tiger hide and his hygiene appeared a whole lot better. His
clothing was unremarkable, other than being large by necessity. He wore a
plain-looking brown suit and short brown cape that only reached halfway
down his back. However, even in his plain garb, it was obvious from his
size that he was a strong man. An aura of power seemed to emanate from him
as he made his way to the stage at the front of the auditorium... by
skittering his way across the base of the wall like a bug.

"Wow, two weirdoes in the same day," Ryouga muttered as the huge man
stopped skittering and walked up the steps in more ordinary fashion.

As the man arrived next to the Principal, he turned to look at the student
body as a whole. "I am your new high school disciplinarian, Gompachi
Chabane. I assure you that my credentials are extensive, having enforced
the rules in over a dozen of the most violent reform schools in all of
Japan, as well as a couple in Luxembourg too. Very nice little country, by
the way."

"So what you're saying is, you're a bouncer?" Ranma-chan asked from her
perch on top of the back of the chair.

"Professional disciplinarian," Chabane hissed as his eyes narrowed at the
one who dared to address him in such a casual manner. "You're that foreign
exchange student, Shampoo. I recognize you-"

Ranma-chan smirked as she placed her hands behind her head. "Well, I am a
pretty famous gal."

"-from the list of problem students the former assistant principal kept.
You were second from the top," Chabane finished. "I have my eye on you and
your little band of troublemakers, girl."

The redhead began to growl in response at the accusation, but a tug on her
pantleg and a scowl from Akane kept her in check, for the moment.

Chabane turned to Godai. "This is why you can no longer teach here. You
lack the ability to keep your students in line. Yours is the class that
holds the majority of these delinquents, and it was your duty to enforce
discipline upon them. It's plain to see that you have failed miserably.
Thanks to your lax nature, it falls to me to enforce the new principal's
rules and allow this school to become the learning institution it was meant
to be. Everyone will comply with these new conditions, starting with
haircuts for all. MUHAHAHA-"

"The hell we will."

Ranma-chan insult was meant to attract the larger man's attention, but even
she was startled as Chabane left the stage in a blur and was beside her in
little more than two seconds. "So, you've chosen to ignore the warning I
gave you. Obviously you are an even worse troublemaker than your file
indicated. Too bad. I intend to make an example out of you to show the
futility of defiance. Yours will be the next hair to be cut, along with the
unacceptably long locks of the boy next to you."

"I'm a girl, you, whatever you are." Ukyou fingered her spatula, resisting
the urge to strike the man outright.

That revelation caught Chabane completely off-guard. He looked Ukyou over
again, more closely this time. "You mean you're a girl?" She nodded.
Chabane appeared even more disgusted than before. "Then not only do you
have a serious lack of discipline, but you are a sexual deviant as well."

"That's a lie!" Ryouga shot of his seat and jumped to his feet. "Ukyou's
never had sex, deviant or otherwise, before!" He turned to her. "Have you?"

"Of course not!" Ukyou shot back. "And you should know better that to ask
that sort of a question about a girl."

"Enough!" Chabane roared. "It's time for all of you to-"

*Poink*

A small object bounced off Chabane's head, leaving a wet substance behind.
It dripped down his face and reached his mouth. He ran his tongue over his
lips, savoring the taste of the liquid. Pen ink, if he wasn't mistaken. He
wiped his hand over his face and examined it closely. The ink from the
broken pen Ranma-chan had thrown at him had smeared rather than rub off,
forcing him to pull out a handkerchief from his breast pocket and clean
himself. Through a face half-coated with blue, he stared the shorter girl
straight in the eye. "You dare to challenge me?"

"Guess so." Ranma-chan shrugged nonchalantly.

Ryouga moved next to Ranma-chan. "You can count me in too. No one insults
Ukyou and gets away with it."

Akane followed. "What you did to Godai-sensei was wrong. I'm in."

Chabane looked in surprise at her. "But why? Your hair's already perfect."

Akane fumed at that. It was a LinLin enforced cut, and not one by choice.
"It's the principle that's involved."

"Count Ranma in too," Shampoo-kun said

The Principal took note of the situation. Yes. He had thought it might come
to this, and had a plan that would deal with the whole lot of troublemakers
once and for all. He would show them the price of defiance. He cleared his
throat. "Looky here, my lil' keiki. Since you be wantin' a challenge, I be
more than willin' to fix you up with one. We'll be makin' this into a
big-time contest wit' everyone's hair on de line. Since everyone in Mr.
Godai's homeroom seems to like him so much, and so many of dose
troublemaking keiki are in dere too, they'll be gettin' to represent de
school. If any of de students can complete an obstacle course, I be willin'
to reinstate Godai and waive makin' everyone at de school cut dere hair.
Anyone dat cannot complete the course gets dere haircut, and if no one
completes it, den everybody at de school will be gettin' it with their
consent. What do you think of that, keiki?"

There was a deathly silence among the crowd. It remained that way, until a
girl's voice said, "Ranma will save us. I have faith in him."

Another girl joined in. "Yeah. If anyone can complete the course, it's
Ranma."

A chant of "Ranma" broke out among the women, which was eventually, if a
bit reluctantly, followed by the men as well, if for no other reason than
they accepted the fact having Ranma, Shampoo, and the others champion them
was the best bet to avoid having their hair cut.

Chabane made his way back to the principal and slapped a hand on his back.
"I have yet to have a single student successfully pass one of my obstacle
courses. Their hair is as good as cut. Let's laugh evilly."

The two left the stage together, laughing as evilly as they could, yet
failing miserably since there was actually very little that was truly evil
about cutting people's hair. Now, if they had clubbed a few baby seals
recently, they probably could have gotten away with it, but Chabane was
actually something of an animal rights activist, and the only thing the
principal enjoyed clubbing were students with pineapples, and even then it
wasn't for their pelts. They were forced to make due with a 'mildly
unpleasant laugh' as they left to prepare for the upcoming match.


With classes temporarily suspended because of the contest, everyone was out
in the athletic field, wishing (and praying) that Ranma and his homeroom
would be successful in the contest. Some tried leaving nothing to chance,
and wore an assortment of football helmets, deep sea pressure outfits, and
even flesh colored plastic caps over their hair to make it appear they were
bald, just in case Ranma and company somehow failed.

The field itself had been extensively renovated, with massive palm trees
and a fake volcano placed in the middle of the track. South seas island
music blared over loudspeakers, and a table with large bowls of poi sat
next to the stands for all to enjoy. Other areas of the various athletic
fields were also altered, though not all in the same manner. For instance,
the field hockey area was now fenced in and there was an odd wooden frame
work that was almost a dozen feet high at the far side. All of it was very
strange, even for Furinkan.

With a reluctant tread, Godai made his way over to the students that were
fighting for his job on his behalf. As he got closer, the others saw him
and quieted down. He thought that was ironic since it was something they
rarely did when he was in charge of the class.

Godai went to Ranma-chan first. "I know what I should tell you is, 'you
shouldn't be risking yourselves for my sake', but the fact of the matter
is, I'm going to be in a world of misery if I lose this job. I've got a
wife and child to support, and we can't do it on just her income alone. The
job market is terrible for teachers now. I don't stand a chance on finding
anything outside of running a day care center in a cabaret like I did
before. You have to win, for my sake as well as your own."

Ranma-chan began tittering nervously at the prostrated man. "Nothing like
adding a little pressure on a guy before a big contest, eh, sensei?"

"Don't worry, sensei." Akane held her fist before her. "We'll win for
sure."

"Thank you." He refrained from further commentary. Usually, when things
looked like they were going to work out for him, his luck would go south
and it would all backfire in his face. No. He was going to mentally make
plans on what to do should he be looking for a job at the end of the day.

Eager to get things over with, the entire homeroom made its way to the
principal and Chabane, who stood next to each other close by the track.
Once the participants had gathered around, the principal began to speak.
"All right, my little keiki. Line up on de track."

Slowly, expecting some kind of catch, the group made its way to a long
white line nearby.

The principal stood up next to the line of students. "De first contest is
going to be de one mile run."

"Heck that's easy," Ranma-chan scoffed, then said to Akane and Shampoo-kun.
"Last one across the line is a rotten egg."

"It's got to be done in fifteen minutes," the principal continued.

"No problem." Ranma-chan said. What a ridiculously easy obstacle this was.

"It will be run as a three-legged race."

"What?!"

Sets of leg cuffs, in the shape of pineapples, burst from the ground and
locked themselves around the legs of the sets of people closest to each
other. Various pairs included: Shampoo-kun and Akane, Ryouga and Ukyou,
Ranma-chan and Minami.

Ranma-chan looked in dismay at the leg cuffs, then at his partner. "This is
gonna be impossible."

Chabane fired a starter pistol into the air. After the reality of the
situation finally set in for the shackled couples, they began to run. The
scene was a debacle at first with nearly everyone stumbling and falling.
After a minute or so of the mass confusion, some of the pairs began to get
the hang of the unusual race and built up a rhythm. Akane and Shampoo-kun
took the lead, followed by Ryouga and Ukyou, and several others. Akane and
Shampoo-kun felt proud of the steady pace they set as they continually
picked up speed and ran faster, moving more closely in synchronicity by the
second.

"Looks like we're going to come in first," Akane said.

"Is no surprise. We just too, too good." Shampoo-kun smirked. "There no way
Ranma can beat us."

"Yep." Akane nodded in agreement. Now Ranma-chan would see who the rotten
egg was.

Just as they completed the first quarter of the track, they found
themselves overtaken by, of all people, Hiroshi and Daisuke.

Akane looked in surprise, wondering how two guys in such obvious mediocre
shape could be passing two superior martial artist. "How come you guys are
moving so fast?"

"I guess it's just because we do everything together," Hiroshi (or was it
Daisuke) said. Akane wasn't sure since it was hard to tell them apart. Not
that they looked alike, it was just that, as they said, they were always
together and were generally referred to as a matching set. Sort of like
bookends.

At the end of the pack, Ranma-chan and Minami fell down again, for the
fifth time in one hundred feet. "I can't believe you are this slow,"
Ranma-chan spat at her partner. "I can't even carry you because our legs
are attached."

"It's not like being a ghost sweeper requires a lot of physical activity!"
Minami shot back. "Let's see you try to destroy a demon with that useless
martial arts crap you're always doing!"

"Well your hot stuff magic ain't doing us any good. If you don't learn to
pick up the pace, we're going to get our hair cut off."

The reality of the situation began to set in for Minami. "I don't want to
have my hair cut. You have to do something, Ranma. Figure out some dumb
martial arts technique to make us go faster."

It was unfortunate, Ranma-chan thought, that the chain linking them wasn't
longer and he didn't have a big wooden paddle. He could have bounced Minami
up in the air like a giant paddleball and traveled with her that way.

They fell down again. Minami began to give up hope when she felt a pair of
arms lift her up from behind and pick her up. Surprisingly, she saw that
the same thing had happened to her partner and that they were both being
hurried forward at the same pace. She turned her head far enough to see it
was either Hiroshi or Daisuke that had picked her up, and that it was
either Daisuke or Hiroshi that had picked Ranma-chan up. Apparently they
had made such good time that they had already completed a lap of the
quarter mile long track and had been prepared to pass them up.

"What do you guys think you're doing?!" Ranma-chan snapped as she found
herself being carried by under her armpits. It was so undignified. The only
consolation was that he was keeping his hands to himself.

"We couldn't let two attractive girls like you have your hair cut off,
isn't that right?" Hiroshi asked.

"You bet," Daisuke answered as he carried Minami along.

"We don't need your help! Put me dow-" The rest of Ranma-chan's diatribe
was cut off as Minami used one of her free hands to slap a ward over the
redhead's mouth, magically sealing it.

"Thanks for saving us," Minami gushed at Daisuke. There was a muffled
complaint from Ranma-chan. Minami glared at her. "If these guys don't carry
us, we're never going to complete the race. If that happens, I'll have my
hair cut in the shape of a bowl. If that happens, I will take it out on
you. When I say I'll make your life hell, that isn't a figure of speech.
Got it?" The light gleamed off Minami's glasses, giving a crazed look to
her face.

Ranma-chan glared in response, though she did stop struggling. It wasn't
the threat of Minami that quieted her, it was the picture of herself with
the haircut Minami had described. Letting Hiroshi carry her was the easiest
way to avoid the haircut, that was all.

"Cheater!" Akane shouted as the now quartet of Hiroshi, Daisuke,
Ranma-chan, and Minami passed them.

Ranma-chan pulled at her lower eyelid and would have stuck out her tongue
at the duo they were passing, if her mouth hadn't been taped shut.

The quartet finished first, along with Akane and Shampoo-kun a distant
second, Ukyou and Ryouga third, and a handful of others. Much to their
dismay, three quarters of the class failed to complete the course in time
and ended up with their hair cut, just as the principal had threatened.

Feeling elated at their success, even with losing so many of their
classmates, the group moved on to the next obstacle: the school's Olympic
length swimming pool. Aside from the tons of sand placed around it and
several volleyball nets set up to make it look like a beach, it was
unaltered.

Principal Kunou spoke again. "All de remaining keiki will have to get
across to de other side of the pool."

"We ain't supposed to do it with lead weights wrapped on us or anything?"
Ranma-chan asked.

Chabane answered for the principal. "No."

Akane looked hesitantly at the pool. "I can't swim," she said to
Ranma-chan.

Ranma-chan nodded her head. She remembered Nabiki mentioning that once.
"Don't feel too bad. Ryouga can't either."

Ryouga looked at her in confusion. "Yes I can."

"No. You can't." Ranma-chan began making bat noises until Ryouga glowered
in understanding.

"If you doan' wanna be swimmin in de pool, you can get your hair cut now."
Sunlight glinted off the shears the principal brandished.

"I've got an idea." Minami made her way next to Ryouga. She laid her left
hand gently on his shoulder. With her right, she began making an intricate
pattern of gestures and murmured arcane phrases that resembled no known
tongue. Within a few moments, Ryouga's feet lifted off the ground and he
began hovering in mid-air

"I'm flying." Instinctively, Ryouga began flapping his arms before
remembering he was in human form.

"You are levitating," Minami corrected. "There's a big difference. All you
can do is float, not move on your own. Now pick up Akane."

Ryouga did so, and was met with a, "Watch the hands, bloodsucker" warning
from Ranma-chan. Ukyou was little better with her own warning of "Watch
what you're holding onto," directed towards Akane.

Minami cast another spell, far less intricate and time consuming. She
touched the bottom of her feet. "Now I can walk on water and drag you
across." She grabbed the floating Ryouga by the hand, who, in spite of
carrying the additional burden of Akane, was still as light as air.

After making certain Akane was all right with traveling in Ryouga's arms,
Ranma-chan pondered the cold depths of the pool. Turning to Shampoo-kun,
she said, "Times like this I don't mind being a girl in school."
Shampoo-kun nodded his head in agreement.

Again Chabane fired his starter pistol. As one the class jumped into the
pool and started swimming across. All save Minami, who ran across the water
as thought it was a normal walkway and caused nothing more than the
faintest of ripples where her feet made contact with the water. Being able
to run where the others could only swim, she quickly finished the contest
by arriving at the other side of the pool.

The spell on Ryouga wore off almost the instant he made it to the other
side. He gently set Akane back on the ground. As he did so, he looked into
the water and noticed some darkened shapes that seemed to be at his end of
the unbelievably deep pool. He bent down to get a closer look. "I wonder
what those are?" he said to Akane as he pointed at the objects below.

Akane felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She looked to
Chabane, who seemed to be taking particular relish in the obstacles. "Don't
tell me they're sharks."

"Of course not," Chabane scoffed. "I'm not that stupid."

Akane breathed a sigh of relief.

"A shark could, at most, eat two students, and the pool isn't big enough to
hold more than three. Piranha can eat far more and they pack much more
tightly."

Akane cupped her mouth and shouted at the approaching swimmers. "Ranma,
watch out! Piranha in the pool!"

Ranma-chan and Shampoo-kun had been swimming ahead of the rest of the
students and were the first to see the onrushing school of piranha.
Shampoo-kun gave a panicked look towards Ranma-chan. "What do we do?"

"Concede defeat and I'll call dem off!" the principal shouted from the far
side of the pool.

"No way." Ranma-chan shot back. Defeat wasn't a word that she understood.
Amaguriken, on the other hand, was a word she understood very well. It was
also a word she said to Shampoo-kun.

The cursed Amazon nodded in understanding. They both unleashed the Kachuu
Tenshin Amaguriken, grabbing the fish before they could bite. As each one
closed their hands on a fish, they threw the offending seafood out of the
pool, then grabbed another and repeated the process.

Tatewaki Kunou watched as volley of flying fish came towards him. He
considered what that meant and came up with the obvious conclusion. "My
love sends me food from the gods. No doubt she desires a fish fry. A
splendid idea."

His bokken was a blur as it stabbed in the air, impaling several of the
piranhas with the weapon. Other students began setting up a fire and
roasting the fish on a makeshift spit.

Principal Kunou found tears filling his eyes. At last, his little Tachi
understood. "Now you're getting into da spirit of things." He broke out a
ukulele and started playing a series of Don Ho songs.

Within moments the entire school of piranha were thrown out and the rest of
the way was clear. The entire class made it to the far side of the pool
without further incident.

"Move on to de next obstacle," Principal Kunou said through the cooked fish
he was chewing on.

"They won't pass this one," Chabane promised as he chewed on some raw fish.
The tail stuck out of his mouth as he ate it, bones and all.

The next obstacle was the field hockey area, completely enclosed by a thick
wooden fence. A gate was opened and the remaining students entered the
field, uncertain of what was to come next. From where they stood, they
could see an opening at the far side, identical to the one that they had
just come through. Between the two open gates was a large wooden building
with a gate in front of it, though nothing could be seen inside. The gate
closed behind them as they entered the field.

Ranma-chan hated to do it, but someone had to ask, even though she knew she
would hate the answer. "What's the challenge this time?"

>From his position behind the fence, Chabane considered that. "This may not
be a challenge for you. How fast can you make it across this field at top
speed?"

Ranma-chan looked across the field and gauged the distance. "About eighteen
seconds."

"Too bad. The bull can make it in twelve."

The door to the wooden structure slowly creaked open. The students only had
to wait a moment before a huge bull, weighing at least two tons and wearing
a lei, charged out of what was now obviously a stall. It gave a bellow of
rage and took all of one second to look around before it found its targets.
In a flash the brown blur headed directly towards them.

The group tried to scatter, but the bull proved too fast as it charged up
behind the slowest of the running students, lifted its head up under their
rear ends, then tossed them up one at a time into the air and out of the
fenced-in area to the place it had been trained to: the barber chair the
principal had set up outside the course. As each student landed in a chair,
the principal gave them the appropriate haircut and waved them on in
anticipation for the next student.

One by one, the students fell, until there were only six left. Ranma-chan,
Shampoo-kun, Akane, Minami, Ukyou and Ryouga. After Ranma-chan leaped over
the bull on an abortive charge, it switched targets and headed towards
Ryouga. Rather than running, Ryouga held his ground and slowly pulled out
his bamboo umbrella. He took his time, lining up the bull even as it, in
turn, lined him up for the big hit.

The two met, skull impacting with umbrella in a thundering collision. The
bull was surprised to discover its forward momentum completely halted.
Confusion soon followed as it wondered why it had stopped and why the
person it had tried to run over was still standing there as though nothing
had happened.

Ryouga had braced himself firmly for the oncoming charge. Much to his own
surprise, the bull had not hit with as much force as he had thought it
would, and he had easily been able to take the hit with no damage to
himself. Now, with the bull's forward momentum at a complete halt despite
the fact the animal was still pushing forward, he switched his center of
gravity and allowed the animal forward just enough to plant the umbrella
directly underneath the bull's chest. Straining as hard as he could, he
lifted the animal up by the umbrella and sent him flying away. Ryouga's
throw was on target as the bull landed in the barber's chair. The principal
considered what to do for only a moment before cutting the bull's hair too.

Chabane scowled at the remaining six students. He had been certain no one
would make it past the bull, not even the loud-mouthed redhead. But he had
been proven wrong. There was no real need for concern, He was not without
remaining plans. They would still fall, oh yes. The next hurdle would be
sure to defeat them. Then discipline would be maintained at long last.

The group began their trip to the next obstacle, located at the farthest
ends of the school's ground itself. As they made their way through some
trees, the obstacle came into view a couple hundred yards away. It was
located on the other side of a wooden fortress, a recent structure that had
been constructed overnight. The sides were high, at least twenty feet, and
sharpened at the top. As strong as the walls appeared, even they failed to
prevent the foul odor that floated from the fortress. From their position
on the ground, the group could see nothing as to what might have been
inside. Ranma-chan considered racing ahead to try to see what was coming
up, but reconsidered. She didn't want to leave the others alone, and no
matter what the obstacle was, they would conquer it like they had the
others.

Minami began to pull into the lead, walking along without the least bit of
precaution. Akane noticed it and warned, "You should slow down."

Minami kept on walking forward, but turned far enough to look at Akane from
over her shoulder. "Yeah, right. I'm a ghost sweeper. Nothing can stop me."

Nothing took the form of a giant pit that was camouflaged with a cover of
leaves. Caught completely off-guard, Minami fell in. Using her considerable
ghost-sweeping agility, she broke her fall by landing solidly on her head.
The others rushed to the side of the pit and looked down to see Minami
lying prone of the bottom. The soft rise and fall of her chest, along with
a hefty amount of groaning in pain, told them she was all right.
Shampoo-kun jumped down, grabbed her, then jumped back up. Seeing that
Minami was indeed unconscious, they were forced to leave her with the
principal.

Principal Kunou rubbed his hands together in anticipation. Just five more
to go, then a whole school to cut. It was like being in heaven. He leaned
over her unconscious form and brought his shears up. The instant they met
her locks, a magical shock ripped through him, stunning him into
unconsciousness. The discharge caused Minami's eyes to flutter open. It
took her a second to realize what had happened. It was a good thing she had
thought to cast that magical defense field when the bull had been running
around. She might have been out of the contest, but there was no way she
was going to sacrifice a single hair to the madman in charge of the school.

The remaining members of the group continued on, making certain to avoid
any other traps that might have been in their path. Their concerns were for
nothing as they arrived at the wooden wall without further incident. The
moment they stepped before the two massive doors, they parted on their own,
swinging inward with a loud groan and allowing the others to see what was
within. A huge trench stretched across the center of the fortress, fifty
feet long and at least  twenty feet wide. A metal pole, about six inches
wide and rounded, stretched across from the side the group was on to the
other. Looking down into the trench, all could see that it was filled with
a black substance that was quickly identified from the smell.

"Where the hell did they get a tar pit?" Ukyou asked.

"Who cares?" Ranma-chan said, figuring out what the goal was in an instant.
She approached the pole that stretched across the trench. It was six inches
wide. With her sense of balance, it was going to be as easy as walking a
fence.

A mistake. The instant she stepped onto the pole, she slipped on a clear,
slick substance that was spread across the metal. She did an acrobatic
somersault in mid-air, landing on her crotch and straddling the pole.

"Times like this I'm REALLY glad I am not a guy," Ranma-chan said. As the
last word left her mouth, she started to slide off the pole, threatening to
fall into the tar-filled trench below.

Akane was the first to react to the dilemma. She stretched out as far as
she could while keeping both feet planted on the ground. Shampoo-kun
grabbed onto the back of her outfit, allowing her to stretch out just a
little bit farther. "Grab on!"

Ranma-chan did as she was bade, their fingertips brushing against one
another. Stretching out just a little bit farther, the two clasped hands
more firmly and Akane pulled the redhead back from the pole and onto dry
land. Ranma-chan brushed off her pants as best as she could. The sticky
substance had dampened her pants and made her uncomfortable. Still, there
was little she could do about it at the moment. "Those poles are greased.
No way we can walk across."

Ukyou noted that although they had encircled the entire area with the
miniature fort, there was also a series of ever present palm trees as well,
both on the side they were currently on and the other across the pit. That
Hawaiian fetish was going to prove to be the principal's undoing, Ukyou
thought to herself. From within the confines of her outfit she pulled out a
can of extra-resilient noodles, similar to the ones she had used against
Shampoo-kun in their initial challenge match. With a flick of her wrist
they wrapped themselves around the tree on the other side. The other end
was quickly wrapped around a tree on her side, forming an effective
guidewire to be used over the crossing pole.

"Nice work," Ryouga commented. Ranma-chan was the first to take the lead as
she set off across the pole. Seeing her use the guidewire successfully, the
others followed suit and made their way over as well. As the last one
stepped onto the other side, another tall set of wooden doors opened.
Relieved, they made their way out of the fortress as quickly as they could.
Waiting for them, alone, was Gampachi Chabane. No one else, not even the
principal, was in sight.

Ranma-chan crossed her arms defiantly. "So, any more stupid obstacles, or
are you ready to admit we can take anything you throw at us?"

The slightest of smiles was just barely noticeable on Chabane's face.
"There's just one left. The most dangerous of all. The one obstacle you
cannot hope to pass."

"What is it?"

The smile grew. "Me."

Chabane flexed his massive arms, posing in an attacking stance in an
attempt to intimidate his opponents. The others simply drew what weapons
they had, if any, and smiled as one.

Akane began, "Let me get this straight. You-"

"-want us to beat you up and we no-"

"-get into trouble? The only challenge I-"

"-see is you staying conscious long enough for me to-"

"-feel like I'm satisfied. And I don't think that's gonna' happen,"
Ranma-chan finished.

And for the briefest of moments, Chabane almost reconsidered his actions.
True, as a unit they were formidable, but he was the next step in genetic
evolution, and they had just been through one of his obstacle courses and
were exhausted. Even at their peak they would be hard pressed to fight him.
Tired, they didn't stand a chance.

"You're all-"

The rest of his opening speech was cut off as Shampoo-kun breached
'standard opening rant' etiquette and attacked before Chabane had finished
boasting. The opening punch was blocked by Chabane. However, defending
against that blow had left him open so that he that took a hard front kick
to the gut courtesy of Akane. While he was dealing with the frontal
assaults, Ranma-chan maneuvered behind him and gave a tremendous leap kick
into the back of the head.

Ryouga took his turn and lowered his shoulder, charging as hard as the bull
had earlier, and drove Chabane into the wall of the school. The bricks
formed a slight indentation as they buckled from the impact. Ukyou finished
things up by throwing a dozen mini-spatulas at her foe. Each one was on
target as they pinned his clothes to the wall behind him.

"That was easy." Ranma-chan didn't feel the least bit satisfied in
disposing of the much-vaunted disciplinarian.

"Yes, it was." Chabane agreed as he tore away from the wall effortlessly,
shredding a good portion of his pinned clothing in the process.

It was the others' turn to be caught off-guard as Chabane showed no effects
of the beating he had taken moments before. A solid blow from his meaty
fist was powerful enough to send Ranma-chan into Akane, knocking both of
them both down. What advantage he had courtesy of surprise was lost as
Ukyou recovered and planted her spatula on the top of his head, full force,
leaving it where it had hit. He slowly turned to her, appearing more
irritated than anything else.

"Uh oh," Ukyou got out as she received a solid backhand from Chabane.

Seeing Ukyou driven backward was more than Ryouga could take. His temper
snapped as he moved in with his umbrella, swinging it with all of his
strength. Chabane blocked the high blow with his forearm, grunting slightly
from the contact. The high block once again left himself open, this time
for Shampoo-kun. He planted a bonbori into Chabane's ribs, bringing the big
man's blocking arm down in a hurry. Seeing a golden opportunity, both
launched a flurry of attacks with their weapons, hitting more often than
not, causing Chabane to back up. All he had going in his favor was that he
managed to maintain his footing in spite of the high powered assault.

Despite his outward poise, Chabane became worried. The attacks were adding
up and there was too much force for even his armor-like skin to take all at
once. They were more powerful than even he had imagined, and for the first
time in his life, it appeared that Gompachi Chabane, the world's foremost
disciplinarian, would go down in defeat. Unless he placed some distance
between himself and his attackers, and quickly.

He took two more hard blows from both Shampoo-kun and Ryouga, then rolled
forward and out of their reach. Springing back up to his feet, he clutched
onto the wall of the nearby school and skittered up it, again reminiscent
of a bug, and made his way to the top and out of sight.

It took a moment for the five figures to jump up to the top and look for
their mutually hated opponent. Their thoughts were as one as they mutually
wanted to beat on Chabane some more for the mess he and the principal had
caused. All of them were disappointed that upon reaching the top, they saw
there was no one in sight.

"Where he get to?" Shampoo-kun asked.

"Can't be sure." Ranma-chan looked in every direction for some clue as to
Chabane's whereabouts, but there was nothing. "Let's split up."

"We'll go this way," Ukyou said, grabbing onto Ryouga's hand and making him
follow her. Ryouga was surprised, but also deliriously happy. A girl was
holding his hand. The last time that had happened was two weeks ago. The
girl was six and helping him get across the street after he gotten lost
trying to find Ukyou's restaurant again.

Ranma-chan looked to Akane. "Guess you're coming with me."

"Why?" Akane asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Well somebody's got to protect you."

So that was it. "I can take care of myself, thank you." Akane shot him an
icy glare.

"Don't be that way. It's just you aren't as good as me and it's not like
you can handle that guy by yourself. Right, Shampoo?" She turned her head
in the hopes of receiving some support in stating the obvious. Instead,
what she got was Shampoo-kun leaping away without a word. "Now why didn't
she stick around? It's not like she can handle him alone either."

"I'm going this way," Akane pointed in the direction opposite Shampoo-kun
had gone. "You go ahead and follow Shampoo. She might actually need your
help." Akane stomped off without another word.

Ranma-chan looked helplessly in the direction Akane was going in.
Shampoo-kun was already out of sight, and the Amazon could move fast when
he wanted to. He decided to follow Akane, who was still in sight. Besides,
Shampoo-kun was still better than Akane and wouldn't need her protection
quite as much. With that decided, she hurried to catch up to Akane, worry
about Shampoo-kun tugging at the back of his mind.


Ukyou and Ryouga had made their way back to ground level and to the pool
that had formerly held the piranha. Everybody had since departed the area,
leaving the two of them alone.

"Are you sure you saw him around here?" Ryouga asked.

"I could have sworn I saw him dart around that corner to here." There was
only one place Ukyou thought he might be hiding in. She plunged her spatula
into a big pile of sand. It went right through without hitting an
obstruction.

As they continued to search the sand, the pool suddenly exploded, hurling
water everywhere as Chabane burst from it. The little fools had
underestimated his ability to hold his breath underwater. He could stay
down for hours if he had to.

The ambush worked out even better than he had hoped, he noted as he landed.
Apparently the Hibiki boy had fled; he was nowhere in sight, although
Chabane could have sworn he had heard the boy near the Kuonji boy...err
sexually deviant girl. Now he found himself only confronted with her. It
was going to be easy.

He suffered a single blow from her spatula and retaliated with a fist of
right into her temple. That single, solid blow was powerful enough to
render her unconscious. Ukyou's body slumped to the ground, as though she
had been a marionette whose strings had been cut. Curiously, a bat began
flying around Chabane's head

"What thOOF!" Chabane gave off a grunt as Akane, who had heard the sounds
of battle, rushed to it. Upon seeing the large disciplinarian, she kicked
him solidly in the gut.

Ranma-chan ran to catch up. Akane had ignored the sounds of protest the
redhead had given when Akane rushed off first, complaining about how she
couldn't handle Chabane alone. She'd show her fiancé. The youngest of the
Tendou daughters shut out the distraction as she concentrated on the man in
front of her. She ducked under Chabane's counter-strike and went for the
knockout blow.

"Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken!" She managed to land a hundred punches into his
chest in less than a second. Satisfied it was enough, she paused briefly to
admire her handiwork. She watched as Chabane grimaced from the effect of
the blows, teetered for a second, then recovered once again as though
nothing had happened. This time Akane was too slow and  was hit with a
solid blow to her jaw, catching the full force of the punch. A second blow
ended up in her stomach that sent her flying backwards.

Seeing Akane was completely limp as she sailed through the air, Ranma-chan
leaped, hoping she could get under Akane and cushion the landing. She
barely made it as her fiancee slammed into her, Akane's head catching
Ranma-chan full in the stomach and winding the smaller girl for a moment.

Even as she was gasping for air, Ranma-chan managed to halfway pry herself
out from under Akane when Chabane arrived. He finished the job by pulling
Akane the rest of the way off Ranma-chan, stopping a slow punch from the
redhead with a huge hand that engulfed hers completely. Holding on despite
Ranma-chan's best efforts at removing her limb, he pulled her into his
grasp and began squeezing, applying a tremendous amount of pressure into
her lower back area. Air left Ranma-chan's lungs and there was no leverage
to be had as she struggled futily in his grasp. As she began to black out,
she wondered if even Ryouga was as powerful as her opponent.

Complete victory was at hand for Gompachi Chabane. Soon the obnoxious
foreign student would fall before his power, then the iron hold of
discipline would at last be in place, never to be relinquished again. All
would have fallen before his obstacles and might. There were none that
could withstand him. None. Except for the black-haired boy that hurled
himself onto Chabane's back.

Chabane kept his hold on Ranma-chan and looked over his shoulder. He knew
he had forgotten someone. It was the biggest troublemaker of them all. The
one that started a riot every morning, somehow enticing all of the virtuous
girls at the school into performing acts of violence that even the lowest
sort of tramps would hesitate to engage in. He single-handedly turned each
morning, when students should have been preparing themselves for the
upcoming school day, into a backyard brawl. Along with the Chinese girl,
Chabane would see to it neither of them would ever threaten the peace of
the school again

Much to Chabane's surprise, rather than attacking him directly, Shampoo-kun
grabbed at his arms and pulled back, trying to force him to break the hold
he had on the Ranma-chan. Perhaps he should not have been surprised;
troublemakers tended to hang around one another. "Fool! My hold is
unbreakable. You will never be able to free your friend."

Had Shampoo-kun possessed his true female form, Chabane would have been
right. But as a male, the Amazon's already impressive strength was
increased so that it fell somewhere slightly under Ryouga's own level of
power. Using every ounce of force he could muster, Shampoo-kun somehow
succeeded in prying Chabane's arms just far enough apart to allow
Ranma-chan to fall out of his grasp and slump to the ground, where she
gasped and tried to regain some of the air that had been forced out of her
lungs.

Chabane growled at the inconvenience. Now it was going to take a little
longer to defeat the remaining students. Rather than trying to dislodge
Shampoo-kun from his position on Chabane's back, the disciplinarian ran
backwards towards the school. Using all of his strength he drove himself,
and subsequently his passenger, into it with enough force to shatter bricks
and mortar into pieces. Effectively caught between the hammer of Chabane's
armor-like body and the anvil of the wall, Shampoo-kun felt the tremendous
force of the impact make him release his hold and drive him into
unconsciousness.

Ranma-chan regained her feet and watched as Chabane pried himself out of
the wreckage of the wall. From where she stood, she could see two of
Shampoo-kun's legs sticking out among the debris, unmoving. She afforded
another glance towards Akane's fallen body, then turned to Chabane. Her
hands trembled in fury as she looked him straight in the eye. "You've gone
too far."

To Chabane's surprise, Ranma-chan left the field of battle and leaped up
onto the roof of the school. Uncertain of what his opponent was up to, and
largely uncaring, he skittered up the wall and followed.

He saw her standing in the center, obviously waiting for him. "Give it up.
All of your friends have fallen. You cannot win." Chabane flexed again,
hoping to have better results this time in intimidating his opponent.

The look of anger was still on Ranma-chan's face, but she spoke rather than
attack.  "Look, I'll make a deal with you. If I can beat you, then you have
to quit as school disciplinarian."

"Me? Defeated by a little slip of a girl like you?" Chabane laughed, then
turned serious. "I accept these terms. On the condition that from now on
you have to obey all of the rules of the school without complaint."

"Deal." The discussion had ended. The battle began as Ranma-chan launched a
flurry of attacks. Her superior speed served her well, as she avoided all
of Chabane's blows while landing dozens of her own. Much to her dismay, her
own punches and kicks had little in the way of effect due to the man's
armor-like skin which made him even more resistant to punishment than
Ryouga.

It was time to change tactics. She waited until Chabane's frustration began
to show. He wasn't at the frothing at the mouth stage yet -apparently the
man could control his temper better than Ryouga too- but he was angry. A
leap backward positioned herself at the edge of the rooftop and a tongue
wagging taunt towards the big man followed.

As Ranma-chan had hoped, Chabane's frustration had finally gotten to him.
He charged forward and tried to grab onto Ranma-chan again. All it would
take was one more solid hold and he would defeat the annoying girl who had
managed to get the top spot on his own 'most hated list.' He was going to
cut her hair personally, and do a really bad job of it too.

As Chabane lunged forward, Ranma-chan jumped over his head and allowed him
to go past unimpeded. Too late, Chabane realized his mistake as he went
over the edge and took a three story plunge, landing hard on the concrete
below. Not content to leave things as they were, Ranma-chan jumped off as
well, landing feet first into Chabane's gut and hearing the pleasant sound
of the wind being driven from his lungs.

Ranma-chan gave a satisfied look at the man's unmoving form. "Nothing human
could have taken that."

Taking that as a cue, Chabane slowly pried himself out of the concrete,
leaving a disciplinarian shaped hole in the ground. He brushed the dirt off
his torn clothing and stood before Ranma-chan once more. She managed
nothing more than to look at him in shock.

"So, you have guessed my secret." Chabane had a serious look on his face.
"I am not human, at least, not entirely. I am the result of a genetic
experiment to bond the genes of a cockroach with those of a normal human
being. A success, I might add. I am far beyond anything merely human. My
skin is hard, like that of a cockroach. I have greater than human strength.
I can even crawl across tall buildings and absorb radiation like it was
nothing. I can eat anything. I am indestructible. That is why I am the
ultimate teacher." He posed dramatically for Ranma-chan's benefit. Surely
the girl would bow to his obvious genetic superiority now.

Ranma-chan responded with a sweatdrop. "You mean to tell me that all this
time I've been fighting a cockroach?"

Chabane began to wonder if she was stupid as well. He had explained it the
details of his origin clearly. "No. A human with cockroach genes."

That explanation caused her to hop up and down in anger. "This is the most
stupid fight I have ever been in! Ever!" Why did she have to waste her time
like this? There were lots of more important things to do than bother with
giant insects with delusions of grandeur.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Chabane felt his anger grow at the girl's
continued defiance.

Ranma-chan stopped hopping. "That if I had a can of Raid, this would be all
over."

"You should cower before your genetic superior, fool! Give up!"

That snapped Ranma-chan out of her anger. She turned a baleful glare
towards 'the bug'. "You hurt my friends. You and that stupid principal fire
a good man. You threaten an entire school, and you expect me to give up?
Roach-face you don't know me at all." Ranma-chan gave Chabane a smile. She
had an idea. She knew what to do about annoying cockroaches. "Hey, bug! You
know what I like the most about roaches?"

"What?" Chabane asked.

"The squishy sound they make when someone steps on them."

Chabane began to tremble in fury. "You take that back right now!"

Ranma-chan responded by sticking out her tongue and running for the theater
auditorium. The mix of taunting and running served its purpose as Chabane
was hot on her heels an in instant. Ranma-chan made sure he was still
following when she ran backstage, grabbed a knife that was to be used in
the stage production of 'The Lion King', and looked for the big 'X' the
Director always left in the middle of the stage. It was there, as she
hoped, and she stood on the far side of it as she waited for Chabane to
approach.

Chabane saw that she had stopped fleeing and slowed down as well.
Menacingly, he approached his foe. What was the girl thinking? "That little
dagger can't hurt me."

Ranma-chan twirled the knife between her fingertips, the stage lights
glinting off the blade. "You'd be amazed at what a little something like
this can do."

She threw the knife into the air, severing the rope that held the twenty
foot boot that hung above the stage. Chabane had just enough time to look
up and see the Nike symbol on the bottom of the sole before it smashed him
flat.

"Nothing like crushing a bug with a shoe." Ranma-chan looked smugly at the
boot.

Just as she was about to leave and check on the others, the boot was slowly
raised up into the air. Ranma-chan turned to see that Chabane held it high
above his head, then tried to return the favor Ranma-chan had given by
throwing the boot at her.

She avoided the blow and ran outside the building with Chabane in hot
pursuit. Things were getting bad and she was wondering what it would take
to finally put the big man down. She and the others had hit him hundreds of
times, yet he kept getting back up and giving back what he had received.
The pressure was mounting, and Ranma-chan began to worry when one last idea
occurred to her.

Picking up speed, she ran halfway around the school and raced through the
doors leading to the wooden fortress, and the next to last obstacle to
Chabane. Stopping at the edge of the tar pit, she waited for her opponent
to catch up. Once he rushed through the doors and spotted his opponent,
Ranma-chan shouted, "You know, now that I think about it, a couple of
antennae sticking out of your head could only improve your looks."

With a loud, "AHHHHHH!" Chabane charged Ranma-chan. Nothing less than blood
was going to suffice now. Anger clouded his judgment as Chabane gave his
mightiest leap kick yet, intent on knocking his opponent's face off.
Ranma-chan stayed in the path of the kick until the last second, then
stepped aside and allowed the disciplinarian to fall into the tar pit of
his own creation.

Finding himself in mid-air, Chabane waved his hands and tried to fly, only
to realize that that was one thing cockroaches couldn't do. Upon landing in
the tar, he immediately sank up to his waist in the black gooey substance.

Chabane waved his fist in the air. "Just wait until I get out." The threat
proved hollow, as every move he made ended up making him sink further in
the tar.

"Can't muscle your way out, can you?" Ranma-chan taunted from the edge of
the tar pit. "You're going to end up like a dinosaur unless you give up."

As much as Chabane hated to admit it, he had to concede. Pragmatism won out
over pride. Disciplining students from the bottom of a tar pit would
stretch even his abilities too far. He gave up.

Ranma-chan sent a rope down his way. After being helped up, the large man
examined Ranma-chan more closely. "I am a man who keeps his word. Everyone
gets to keep their hair. Mr. Godai will be rehired. I'll give up my job as
Furinkan's high school disciplinarian. And I'll win a Nobel Peace Prize."

"I didn't make you promise the last one," Ranma-chan pointed out.

"Oh, right." There was nothing more to be said. At last, the greatest
disciplinarian in the world, Gompachi Chabane gave a sorrowful look at the
site of his first, and only failure. Turning on his heel, he headed off
into the orange and red sunset as the fingers of golden light retreated
behind the horizon, seeking the lands beyond to bathe them in one last
fiery glow before allowing dusk to fall and the world to eventually fall
into a deep slumber.

"Oops. I'd better let the others know I won before Pineapple Head tries to
cut their hair." Ranma-chan hurried to see where his comrades had fallen,
and hoped he could get to them before the principal could. Akane was safe
with her current hair style, but Shampoo-kun would never forgive him if he
got shaved bald. Besides, Ranma-chan didn't think the Buddhist monk look
would good on the Amazon.


Epilogue

"That was too, too close," Shampoo-kun said quietly as he and the others
stood in line, waiting for gym to begin. The celebration that was held the
day before for Ranma-chan and company's triumph over Chabane and Principal
Kunou had lasted the rest of the day. Unfortunately, no one had thought to
mention that the 'Hawaiian Punch' was loaded with rum, and that the
majority of the school had ended up completely inebriated and was now
suffering the effects of a schoolwide hangover. No one had even accosted
Shampoo-kun for a date in the morning.

"Yeah," Akane sighed. On the bright side, she was now no longer the only
girl in the class with really short hair, since everyone that had fallen
before Minami had received the principal's special cuts. But their hair
would grow back, in time. And she had a head start too.

The doors to the gym opened and all eyes turned that way.

Ryouga's eyes bulged. "I don't believe it."

"It can't be!" Ukyou protested, then immediately regretted it as a sharp
pain lanced through her head from the loud noise she had made.

"Hey! You said you'd quit if I beat you!" Ranma-chan pointed out to the new
figure: Gompachi Chabane.

Chabane held up a finger. "No. I agreed to resign as head disciplinarian,
and I have. I am now the head of the athletic department. As such, you will
no longer be able to slack off as you have been in this class. I shall
drive your bodies into physical perfection, or kill you trying. Now,
everyone give me a hundred laps! And after that, drop and give me two
hundred sit ups!"

"I think I preferred the obstacle course," Ranma-chan groaned as she began
to run.

Gampachi continued, speaking over the series of groans and lamentations of
the class. "Then, after the warm up, we'll go out to the newly renovated
obstacle course with the REALLY tough obstacles. First, there is the
minefield. And then there are the rabid hamster pits. And then..."

It was not a good day to be a student of Furinkan High.


Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Like I said, mostly a silly piece. Cutting it was for the best. Hopefully
you enjoyed it at least a little, though.

A thousand thanks to Gary Kleppe for his help with the principal's speech
pattern and other grammatical work.

"Let's get sticky' belongs to Ben Edlund. Still, who could resist using a
line like that? ^_^

Thanks to:
Ryan Anderson
L.Ang
Gary Kleppe
Jason Liao
Miahara

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/towers/5920

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