Oy!
In the pub about seven thirty
Mother makes sure that his face ain't dirty
Him and mother go everywhere
Holds her hand without a care

 Lived with mother for fourty years
The neighbourhood said that he must be queer
Normal folk are just sad like that
Glad he can't hear behind his back

 When mother dies he'll have a cry
Because he'll be on his own
He's frightened stiff when it comes to this
Will he lose her to the heavenly home?

 In the pub about seven thirty
Mother makes sure that his face ain't dirty
Him and mother go everywhere
Holds her hand without a care

 Lived with mother for fourty years
The neighbourhood said that he must be queer
Normal folk are just sad like that
Glad he can't hear behind his back

 When mother dies he'll have a cry
Because he'll be on his own
He's frightened stiff when it comes to this
Will he lose her to the heavenly home?

 Once went out with a London girl
Dirty weekend in a hotel
Broke it off when she got flirty
She was twelve and he was thirty
Right after that he was bedsore
Couldn't go out with girls no more
From then since he never has
He wants to do something dirty!