Reflection on Candlelight

Before me does a flicker burn
Slow, casting shadows forth
And I think of how such little light
Does light an entire rooms worth
For not a bulb nor lamp do I turn
Nor've I any aid to help my sight
Just a small, gentle flame
Which hides me from the winters night
So small within it's subtle urn
Bright has it burned since it's handed birth
How wild you are, yet I have have tamed you...
From fire who knows what we can learn
The fire plays no games
Nor does it tell any lies
And it's honesty would kill you first
Yet so easily can you snuff out it's life



Clouds

While clouds amble gently through
My line of upward sight
I can't help but be reminded of you
And how you've given me so much delight

I'm smiling inside more than I can show
On the outside of my visage
There are so many things I want you to know
But they shall stay locked in my cage

For now is not the time
For me to shed these chains
These words are far from benign
I need not say them again

I've told them to all but you, my dear
I think you always knew, my dear
So saying the words will interfere
Now that your intentions are clear

So, alone sit I, writing
These words you'll never hear
I can't help but stay here, always waiting
For the time you and I will both be here

But never will that joy fill me
Victims of time and location are we
It would have been wonderous, that I can see
A future, with I on bended knee

Forever holding you in my arms
You eternally close to me
Me, endearing your precious charms
Ah, vivid that I see

Alas, it is but a dream...
A tale of faeries and elves
The present is what is unseen
Like a tight locked oyester shell

A treasure lies inside, that's true
But how do we get this treasure out?
My treasure is no other but you
But you've blown away like the clouds



Double Sonnet #1

Peace to the man who walks alone
'Cross barren fields of snow
For fire's fuel and winter warmth
And to his family goes

To feed himself and all his kin
May he survive this day
That all his debts might disappear
And all his fam repay

For sins not his to bear this time
May mercy grant him kind
To get his head above the drifts
And may his peace he find

For if not returning he be
He kills not himself but family

And to the wealth that serves no need
Might it find it's rightful place
To serve not greed but need instead
To benefit it's race

So find it's place among the pock's
Where needed it will be
Not misered to serve no one else
May he feed to charity

Be blinded not by needful things
And thoughts that serve no cause
For warmth and meal shall it go
To feed the needful jaws

So place it well unto that man
Who does but what he can



Reflections on the Setting Sun

I stand and stare to the distance
Reflecting an ancient, fiery sunset
Beset am I with grief entranced
For a lost love must I soon forget

Died not did she, nor have to move away
She left me far behind and walked away

She chose not what I had to give
My soul my mind my heart
Without her I can not live
I exist not as a whole, but merely a part

A shadow of my former self
Overwhelmed by the cards I am dealt
I slip away into the softness of night
I’ve lost my will, I’ve lost the fight



Someday

Ah! On that cold month-after night
Alone sat we in candlelight
And we talked on end of nothing.
But in my arms you sat
And I contentedly reflecting that
You were again in my sight
And happy was I to be where you were sitting

Oh, doubted I hour after hour
If you, most gentle flower
Were happy where it was you sat
But still you stayed there lying
While inside my soul was dying
Until the cold air I empowered
I knew then, you’d return to where you sat

Someday          2.2.97



Untitled

As a spring rain wets my face
I search in vain for your embrace
As if no one can take your place
For you all other names erase

Though time has passed and we’re no more
I feel for you in the depths of my core
And yet your love I can’t implore
We’ve both been down his road before

In traveling we lost ourselves
In the tale we tried to sell
The truth to ourselves we didn’t tell
Until we heard the ringing bells

And by then it was too late
It was gone, we could not save



Untitled

When in sweet remembrance, I
Gaze into into a ruby memory
And try to find the moment I
Fell in love with thee

Was it the night I held you in my arms
'Til long past the midnight hour
Was it the night I looked deep into your eyes
Upon that ancient lofty tower
And there the sunrise did I see

The crisp winter's eve with fresh fallen snow
With soft the candle burning slow
And I said all I thought
The sky a lazy hue did cast
Upon the mountains far dispatched
From our world, our little part

I know not when I fell
Nor did I ever stop?
I still hear the ring of morning bells
Of the day from me you dropped



Ode V

I look upon a star
And see the one I love
I see her in a snowfall
In soft eyes of a dove

In a crimson sunset
O'er a city made of gold
I hear her name in poetry
To beautiful to hold

When I look up in the heavens
When the sky's a baby blue
When I look upon a placid lake
Or smell the morning dew

A starry sky with cloudless black
Just characters abound
A sweet song sung in rapture
Is where my love is found

A mountain grandeur's highest peak
A warm breeze off the bay
Do still no justice to my love
Words her beauty can't convey

A dove, the stars and heavens high
All beauteous things must moan
For she compares to none but Eden
Which survives in legends alone



Let Me Sleep

Oh Sweet Death! Take me into your arms
My time has come to depart
I feel the need
To take my leave
Whether morn be light or dark

Oh Peaceful Sleep I thee embrace
My soul shall never rest
I need an end
So you, my freind
I count on for the rest

For 'tis my choice to leave this world
And head towards the hereafter
Just leave me be
And let me leave.
Mourn for me no longer



The Wanderer

There in my foundation far aloft
Within the jagged mountains top
The harsh winds blow outside my door
And by and by it bothers me not
For there I sit in my fire-warmed haven
The oaken door protects and saves
My body from the cold it bore a year before
And bears still to this very day
The snows fly by the outside face
And the missing wood the ice does replace
A layer of sealing cold it stores
And fills all the nooks and space
Behind the door which me protects
Tales have been spun by architects
Of stories that never have been heard before
For who knows what they will say next.

Aye, I do remember though
In the time of the pelting snow
A stranger knocked upon my door
Stopped and asked for a place his body to stow
He stood up that night by the fire raging
The tongues lapped him as he stood facing
A fire like he'd seen one like it soon before
And slowly back and forth he started pacing
"The fire swallows of the wood in there
Each ember taking it's fair share
Of the fuel on the stoned floor
As though it doesn't even care.
But fire, I have once seen
Roar beyond my wildest dream
And engulf the boards upon the floor
And everything else that was in the scene
I stood as I saw the fire rise
The smokey fumes watered my eyes
And as I ran outside the door
The smoke carried the scent of demise.
I came upon a friends quaint house
I did not mean to wake or rouse
The hour was well past the break of morn
But the man looked like from bed he'd just tossed
I asked to enter in for a moment quick
And then I heard a woman speak
But her voice I had most certainly heard before
Less then ago a year, a month, a week,
My wife had left that previous day
For vacation a week she planned to stay
I did not know nor suspect that this very door
Housed the place where my wife stay
I burst into his house enraged
And stared into her shocked face
I pulled my pistol and on the floor
Were quickly my wife's remains
I asked him why it was my wife was here
He offered no response to hear
So I said I would even my wife's score
If the truth I did not hear
`I...' stammered he in spite
`I am an acquaintance of your wife
If that's the woman on the floor
I have known her almost all my life
It was not that long ago, dear man
I'll say before my body they plant,
That I was approached by the woman on the floor
I was enticed into a frightful scam
We loved that night like she said she had never
Partaken of life's richest endeavor
And on again into the morn
If that is what you emplore
But then I found the wedding band
She had removed from her hand
And hid it in a drawer
The drawer in my bedroom stand
But this morn when I awoke
And went to get myself a pipe to smoke,
The one I keep in that same drawer,
I saw an unfamiliar gleam upon the oak
I took it out and saw it was a wedding band
And wondered if it fit her hand
So in the early hours of the dawning morn
I took this ring and slid it on her sleeping hand
A perfect fit it was, it did not slide
It was not an inch to narrow, nor wide
And I cried as I threw my self upon the floor
The woman awoke to the sounds I made as I cried
`Harlot..' I screamed at her as consciousness she took
A glance of sheer surprise read her face as a book
`Darling, what do you mean by this retort'
`You are a wife of another, and your maiden hair I took'
`What do you mean,' stammered she not noticing her own ring
`The band you wear, it is not mine,' words shot like a sting
`Where did you find this,' said she glancing down unto the floor
I looked at her as bear to food in spring
`Out with you, dear Wench, I'll see you no longer.
You are someones wife, and do not belong here
Take what little things here with you out the door
For your love I no longer hunger'
It was then I heard the sounds of someone calling
I answered the door and next was the falling
As your wife tried to run out the door
I, not knowing of the news befalling
And there you stood, pistol loaded
And shot your wife and I you've scolded
Now several minutes for
All the story now I to you have told.'

I stood there and cocked my pistol hammer
Once again he tried to stammer
But I shot him as my wife before
Before he could make a clamor
And then I burned the house to the ground
And danced in the ashes I found
As I have you told before
And walked off, leaving the unhallowed ground"

My jaw dropped wide
As I was quite surprised
For my brother died three days before
Killed he and mistress by an arsoned fire
My murderous in-law now before me stands
Asking me to extend a hand
And keep him from the out-of-doors
After my brothers life he did suspend
I looked at him with my eyes on fire
And slowly rose my hand up higher
And pointed my finger out towards the door
"What, dear sir, do you inquire
That I do on this winters night?"
"Move yourself out of my sight," said I,
"Just as you came an hour 'fore
I care not if you're bitten by ice!
That was my dear brother you killed
That was my brother's blood you spilled
And now you stand upon my floor
To kill you now I fight my will!"
His jaw did drop to the ground
"It is amazing in our travels 'round
That we find someone we've never known before,
Yet our pasts are connected somehow"
He simply hung his head down low
And opened up the oaken door slow
Not even staring back through the door
Walked out, and it closed without sound or echo.

I've never seen this man again
Nor my brother whom he had slain
I hope he froze in those out-of-doors
And cursed this Earth with but a stain.



Reflections on a winter sea

As I walk upon empty hardened sand
And white waves crash at my feet
I gaze out to the far-off lighthouse
And out in to a wintry sea
The darkening chill of January
Has over this world cast it’s white hand
Sending a snowy wintry chill
Over all the land
But over the water these storms mean more
To the mariners who ride the waves
And long to merely return to shore
And from the sea-life never escape.

I knew a man, a sailor, he,
Who didn’t feel at home on ground
“My only home is the wide blue sea
The cry of a gulls my favorite sound
I’ve been to dark lands far away
I’ve been up both the coasts
But if I had my choice, my son
I’d never leave my boat”
That hardened, callous man spoke truth
One day he just sailed away
He took his ship without a crew
He just up and left one day
So as I gaze out on the sea
And I hear the seagulls cry
I see the winter chilled ocean,
The cold water where my father died
.
I stand up off the dune
Wipe the loose sand off my pants
Continue walking down the stretch
My shoes making tiny dents in the sand
I walk up to the jetty
Jutting jagged in the waves
A stark white light house stands
Ghost-like as the sun fades
On rocks stands an ancient ‘farer
Staring out to the distance, piping
I walk out to him, and place my hand his shoulder
He turns and sees me, smiling.
“I see a boy I knew in the man before me
His father was a brilliant man of the sea
I turn to look out to the East
He takes a puff, “I’m sorry.
A better man I never knew
His heart was rich as gold”
“Then why did he leave so fast?” I say.
“Were you never told?”
We step inside his humble home
Housed beneath the tower
Sat I in one crude wooden chair
Untouched by the hours
He sat in the other chair
Across a small carved table
A cup of coffee placed he down
For both of us. He sat so still
“After your mother died
He knew not where to go
He did not know just how to deal
With a house that’ wasn’t a home
So after searching far and wide
For what would fill his soul
      He knew that the sea
      Was where he had to be
The are some that say a sailor
Knows his time to die
Your father knew that
He would take his final ride.
The news said that a storm was near
So he stocked up the boat
It’d been so long since it’d been used
I was shocked the thing would float.
That morning the sun shone scarlet
More red than fresh spilt blood
“A storm is rollin’ in,” I said
“Aye, my house’ll flood...”
His voice trailed off and silent we
Stood upon the rocks and stones
He turned and left me there alone
As the seven bells toned and droned
Last saw I, he was sailing out
Right into the eye.
Now three weeks gone, that man is
One with sea and sky.”
I shook the old mans hand
I opened up the door
The winter wind was there to greet me
And the salt air in even score
That beach walked I
To where I began
My feet again
Left marks in the sand
When something caught my eye in the sun
I ran to find out what it was
A board of darkened wood saw I
I picked it up and dropped my gloves
“Marian” clearly writ upon it’s grain
God Help Me! I know that name
My mother’s first, of Burns’ Scot coat
And so as well, my fathers boat.

As I walk upon empty hardened sand
And the white waves crash at my feet
I gaze out to a far-off lighthouse
And out into a wintry sea
The darkening chill of January

3-6-96



Traveling Circus

I stare at the life that's in my hand
And think "I'm doing this because I can"

The fumes of gas flow into my lungs
I love to breathe it in
Inhabitants are unaware
The show shall now begin

I look around one more time to see
This thing of subtle beauty

I drop the spark and run out the door
Into the green front yard
At the first sign my job is done
I step into my car

In one big blur there's a house no more
I look at my artwork and love it more
I feel the heatwave hit my face
Through my open window
I start the car and drive away
Pensive on my next show



The Apocalypse

The day of judgement handed down
As our life-blood sun grows cold
Jupiter's fury now unbound
To midnight has the clock been rolled
The day is here, we all are dead
Our planet pays the price
Of the poisons we force fed
Genocide by our own device
We killed ourselves and now we pay
As fire from an Earthen kiln
Burns with heat and power great
Prometheus does grace us nil
With lightning crashing all around
Adding to the melting ground
We like the egos that we are
Try to hide and don't get far
Do we see that we did this?
We carved our own tombstones
The gods take their revenge on us
Our funeral bells have toned

Part II

The day when hell has finally left
The wind blows across a barren plain
With nothing in it's way except
The mounds of men who have been slain
Chaos isn't presnt here
As it was the day before
No one lives, no one hears
The Earth is empty once more
All is gone, no trees nor beasts
Are living on this barren face
The water has boiled out of the seas
Dead, the Earth moves through space
Stopping not, it keeps it course
As the stench from the corpses
Fills a decaying atmosphere
The Earth lets out a saddened tear

Part III

Then slowly, the rains come down
The oceans fill, And water flows
As the clouds become unbound
And in the arctic, freezing snow
The sun shines through upon the Earth
Olympics see the planet's paid
"It is time for their rebirth
Let them live" King Jupiter said
And so they did.



Ode IV

Her beauty radiates most brilliant
A star compares as strong
As to the strength of a full-grown buck
To that of new-born fawn

The morning sunlight in her hair
Could light an eclipsed moon
Her eyes do sparkle far greater
Than a crystal ‘flecting noon

I know not if this love of mine
Shares in my admiration
If not, her beauty then, alone
Can yield my celebration

This beauty live though far away
Inside my heart, for ever and a day



Untitled

I tell myself to hold my tears
I tell myself not to cry
I tell myself that it isn’t my fault
I tell myself to walk by

I tell myself there is no reason
I tell myself it’s her choice
I tell myself love the season
I tell myself it’s her voice

I tell myself that I broke her trust
I tell myself I chased her away
I tell myself that I caused the rust
I tell myself I made it this way

I tell myself to sleep and dream
I tell myself to lie awake
I tell myself to stand up and scream
I tell myself not to break

I tell my heart to beat no more
I tell my mind not to think
I tell my lungs The heat makes you sore
I tell my throat not to drink

I tell myself to stop my crying
I tell myself don’t sing that song
I tell myself there’s no use in dying
I tell myself to let her walk on



WHY ME?

The blood surrounds
With dripping sounds
Encasing me in danger

The pools they form
And lap my arm
And fill your soul with anger

Coming 'round
That fearful sound
The drip drip drip of death

Turning right
The fearful sight
Of the exhaled final breath

The tears you moan
Your wailing tone
Shall do you little good

For time has passed
I breathed my last
My blood still stains the wood

About what could
Or did or should
Please don't ask yourself

You were not there
I did not care
That's why I killed myself



I Am Ready Now

The morn melts through my window
And I rise to shake its hand
I now see that my life has passed
In this dawning truly grand

I think of all the things I did
From Fall to passing Fall
And agree with greater men
In that I never lived at all

Perhaps in the short amount
Of life I still possess
I' ll do something that's great or good
Instead of just regress

Or maybe I'll look Death
Squarely in his face
And tell him, "I am ready now.
Take me from this place."



The Black Sonnet

The sky was dark and under it
Was where I stood and waited for a bit
And when she came the sky did clear
And all 'round knew my time was here

I spread my arms to greet the black Death
It swirled and swarmed around my breast
The sky above me, it did open wide
And a cloud lifted me up like an incoming tide

Into the Heavens I was then thrust
There were fallen pearl gates on hinges with rust
"Is this what I get for my life's endeavor
For all I have done, the wise and the clever?"

My guide turned around like a demon possessed
The blank skull looked at me and said only "Yes."



Dream of Christmas

The fog rises off the running river
A young man shows a tiny shiver

He calls for his dog to come back home
She does and he enters his abode

He goes to the stove and stokes up the ashes
He dusts off a log with some snow-covered patches

Turns up the stairs and opens a door
He looks upon a woman, asleep no more

"Good Morning, My Dear" the man does say
"Come down stairs on this Christmas Day.

"Enjoy the fire for you I have made
Come, listen to the Christmas music play."



Awaiting the Inevitable

The life in us all must end
And some will greet it warmly
But those that say that life is good
Do never leave life calmly

Those who are mistaken
By life's foul mysteries
Will let their death surprise them
But no. Not ever me.

I will not run. I will not hide
From that which comes to claim me
I'll see his face. I'll Death embrace
And leave this cursed life calmly

But now I sit and wait for the
Time when Life is done with me.



Mother's Prediction

Why does her name ring through my skull
Like a thousand bells on high?
Why do I think of nobody else
Please, mother, will you tell why?

Nobody knows why love comes and goes
But, my son, know of this
Beware of your heart for should your love and you part
'Twill drown this feeling of bliss

Mother, no, for we shan't ever
For an obsession in each other we share
I do not know what I would do
If my Love were not ever there

My son, my son she does have your heart
But like the Red Sea, you also shall part.
Mark my words. Before Harvest Moon
She will leave you to roast in the noon.



Take two of these...

Oh my, how times have changed
I laugh to see how I once thought
At the time though life brought me no joy
Perhaps I've gained all I have sought
I think of everything I have
I think of all the things I've done
I think of all that I have gained
Wine, Woman, and song
Some of these to me mean more
Then others in that list
But I've no anger nor ignorance
They've risen like a mist
Or maybe it's just I can handle it now
Annoyances no longer disturb
I can honestly say I'm on my right path
I've gained my fair share of nerve
There will be those who do not me like
And those for whom I'd care less
I'm doing what I feel is right for me
I'm no longer depressed



To my Freinds

Ah, my how the tides have turned
I can remember all I've learned
I owe myself to all my freinds
Those who stayed with me until the end

These wonderous people helped me know
That on in life I will go
My selfishness to end it all
When really my problems were small

I realize that long after the fact
They were right, twas I without tact
I just went on feeling sorry for myself
Expecting others as well, what the hell

So to those who stuck it out
While I whined, and through the pouts
Saving me, you didn't have to do
And without you, I wouldn't have come through

I could never thank you enough for it all
I give all I ever do to you
Without you I would not be here
My lease on life renewed



Sorrow

Although it is what's best
I hate to tear your heart
We've been together for so long
I hate to see us fall apart

But Honesty we both must keep
It might not make sense now
But if this is what we both need
The we should decide how

Parting is such sweet sorrow
I hate to hurt you dear
But if it's gone we should admit
To end it now and here

I know the pain may overwhelm
But please my dear stay true
You do not need me in your life
Anyone could love you

You were the best I've ever had
And that is not a lie
But we have never been the same
Since this past July

I tried to make work
Oh God, did I try hard
But if it really wants to go
You can not change the cards

I'm sure that freinds we can never be
That ball, though is in your court
Who knows, perhaps if we both decide
We could try and restart

But for now, I'm sure you'll see
I have to pack and take my leave
I leave not for another one
I'm doing this for me

I tried so hard to save you
That I tied my own slip knot
But now I see I can not play
By my feelings I am caught

I really hate to let it go
But please do not pursue
It is the time for both of us
To go for something new

I can not help but feel like hell
It was not an easy choice
But still it is an choice which must be made
Whether it brings sorrows or joys

I'm sorry for the pain I've caused
I'm sorry for all I did wrong
You always treated me like a king
I hated to string you along

If this hurts you more
Than me leaving, again I'm sorry
But know that I tried to save us
Maybe that was my folly



The Gamble

I do not mean to hurt you
Know that it is for the best
Just like the fledgling dove
Must at one time leave the nest

I'm sure the pain must overwhelm
But find the strength to carry on
I'm sure you've many questions
Maybe answers will come in the dawn

I hope we can keep open the door
If we both feel it is right
To give these dice another roll
If we both shall see the light

But if not, my dear, know this truth
Stronger than any other did I love you



Boredom

Melancholy, I sit in the moonlight
And ponder those things which have left me
It seems as though everything around has changed
Everything's changed but me.

I sit with the phone, silently sitting
While I sit, thinking silently
I wish to call a freind of mine
But who would that freind be?

Who should I call on my lonely eve?
What would I say to that line?
What could I do to break my montony?
What will pass the time?

And while I think, alone I sit
And an inside voice says, "This is it..."



ODE

Sweet angels sing on mountain tops
And their songs soar the skies
Cascades tumble o'er jagged rocks
On zephyrs, sweetness rides

And though these scenes are precious
To our hearts, our eyes and minds
I must say that there is not one such as
The lady whom I lovely find

With hair of silk and wit to match
She radiates a song
Bards sing her tales without a catch
And shall forever long

From Shakespeare's day to modern times
This lady's inspired these written lines



Double Sonnet #2

I don't know how to put it
I don't know what to say
This hasn't worked out how I planned
Why did it happen this way

I wasn't expecting to fall so far
I wasn't expecting I'd go so fast
I knew that you would leave real soon
I knew it wouldn't last

So I told myself to just have fun
Enjoy it while I still can
But now I don't know how to feel
This hasn't worked out how I planned

You make me smile on my darkest of days
You've made happy in so many ways

You're beautiful in many ways
The mind, and to my adoring eye
You're unlike anyone I've ever met
I'd never thought of you and I

Oh, sure I'd seen you from afar
This beauty, too unreachable for me
But I never thought that you'd say yes
When I asked you out with me

I figured we would just have fun
A fling if you will while you were here
Now there are feelings starting to grow
And to be hurt, I may I fear

I'll stand up tall, for you I'll long
But if there's nothing, I guess I was wrong



Ode

I feel so lucky to have your embrace
I live to kiss your mouth
I love the feeling of your skin
I'm falling deep without a doubt

I hope now as you go your way
That you will me remember
For I know you I'll ne'er forget
My feelings for you so tender

Who would have thought of me and you
I know that it took me back a step
I wondered where we were for a while
For I didn't know what to expect

But now, I'm glad with me you're here
And I'm very glad to me you're near



Ode III

When soft thro' reeds the wind
Gently blows from far away
Do my thoughts then turn to you
These thoughts which no words convey

My memories of you fade not
I need but close my eyes to you see
Your name does echo in my heart
Enshrined next to your beauty

So now I wait to see you again
To hold you in my arms
You, so much gentler than a spring rain
And, the summer's sun is not so warm

Should there be never you and I
If we don't walk forever
Then my memories of you will me remind
And keep us long together



Why Rush

We can look into the future
But do we know what we there see?
All we can do is help our morrows
Be as great as they can be

There is no point to predict or guess
What might or might not come
For you and I must surely know
The future's still unknown

So should we assume that we
Will be together then,
When we don't know what paths we'll take
If we'll see each other again?

I must say though it's nice to dream
But do we know what dreams do mean?



Ode

When thoughts of beauty enter our minds
We both can't help but think of them
For there exist none higher than
These loves, far brighter than a jem
For just as perfect diamonds
Are few and far between
So are these who we both love
Alone in their bright gleam
Music of Mozart has not the grace
Nor can a painting take the place
Of women too beautiful to say
Some say we may have jumped too fast
But if it's a crime to want it to last
Then guilty do we plea



The Circle

The sweet smell of rain
On a cloudless summer's day,
Sheds a feeling of repose
When the world seems to dismay

A mountain purple sunrise
On a grassy rolling knoll
The zephyrs of an autumn day
When an artists palette falls

Winters winding whiteness
Of sudden slow snow showers
Which runs to Spring and all it's splendor
In the blooming of the showers

The circle of life spinning unslowed
Around those on the Earth
Does not yield to Mother-bound astronauts
Which thrive on passing and birth
As we round every day
All we can hope for's someone to hold
To share those summers days
And shelter us in cold



Clowns

I sit alone where I once loved you
And I wonder why I let you
Pull my strings so hard and tight
I could barely see out of my eyes

But once I squinted hard
I saw thorugh your barrage
And realized you had lied to me
You had made it hard to see

I couldn't hold myself at fault
Because I had to kneel and crawl
The truth is you had pushed me down
And toyed with me like a clown

And with I happy to fill the part
You slowly shred my heart
Leaving me to die and wait
As you leaned forward and offered bait

But now that you are gone
You will get my bomb
All these times you thought
I wasn't learning what you taught
I had become your brightest pupil
I had learned true evil

So now as you cry to me
Because you are blind and can not see
That I'd been pulling all the strings
And making you dance and sing
I can walk away
And live to play another day
For it is your own game you fell into
There is nothing you can do
I hold all the aces this time
You have come to the end of your line
And I will no longer follow you down
You are now my clown



Ode VII

My love for her is greater than
The intensity of a million moons
And brighter than our so bright sun
And hotter than it at noon

My love for her is deeper
Than the water in all the seas
Stronger than a tornado
As gentle as a breeze

And I wish that I could say
How much I truly love her
But to say how much there are no words
Except in the heavens above her

And if this love could ever love me
Then forever would I live happily



Untitled

My mind clouds with thought
Dark and stormy memories
I kicked, I clawed, I fought
When I fell in love with thee
And now my fortress iron-wrought
Has fallen to it's knees

I wish I'd never loved you
You don't ever leave my mind
The stories you told must be untrue
Or why am I behind?
The women I have loved are few
Were YOU just being kind?

But when you call I run
To be right at your side
I hate that you love me none
After all I did confide
And now the ending has begun
Marked by the tears I cried

I hate you becuase I love you
I love you so much I hate you



Untitled

I sit remembering the velvet
Of your skin as it rested on mine
How deep inside my soul you crept
And I thought you'd stay for all time

But all I see is your memory
The phantom of your face on my heart
And my shadow is all that remains of me
My soul has left and took the art

Pathos of my sorrow full
Where your eyes once filled a starless night
Grey, cold Automn days dull
Where your smile once sunned my sight

But now my summer in gone
And cold, betrayed I sit
Worst fears of being alone
Are all the fil my hearts pit

An empty boat to cracked to sail
Along those seas it claimed as home
A quest in vain for my own grail
Has left me cold as stone

So as I sit and see you
As my eyes are closed so tight
The velvet that I briefly knew
Fades out of my sight

No longer do I feel your hands
They have turned to briars
No longer do I kiss your lips
They burn me hot like fire
No longer do I say I love you
For then, I would be a liar

For if alone I am to be
I cast thee off eternally



Untitled

We walked hand in hand
Beneath the cherry tree’s limbs
But our fires, no longer fanned,
Burned out in the blowing wind

While slowly we walked, together
While our love blew away like a feather

And while away from our hearts it flew
On that Cold September morn,
My mind lost its sight of you
My dreams of you now airborne

But so has been this life of mine
And so shall be throughout my time

As on this world I walk alone
Hard as winter, cold as stone



Untitled

When in Darkened spirits I
Turn my head up to the sky
And, there, engraved upon the Heavens

As if innumerable fire flies
Sparkling as your gentle eyes
An image of your face I am given

All the beauty which surrounds
My loneliness with Nature’s sounds
When I thought there’s naught to believe in

Tolls your ghost so long and loud
As a bell’s dark droning sound
And reminds me of our love deceiving

Deviled memories cloud my sight
Upon the chilled autumn night
When I alone so mad and sickened

Screamed your name with no delight
And jumped far away in away into the night
Living as my life would end



Untitled

Sit I on the banks of a river
Beneath the boughs of a willow
My eyes, they join in it's weeping
I gasp, your name do I bellow

For I miss you to the greatest degree
I wish merely to hold you
The cards have said you'll return to me
There is no time too soon

But still you stay so distant
We ne'er talk when we speak
I miss the nights I looked to your eyes
My spirits are down, my body weak
As the water flows on down the creek
Beneath the willow where I weep
These tears that won't be heard.
Overhead there flew a bird
It perched itself upon my arm
Cocked its head to one side
I stared into its avian face
And once again I cried
How I wished that I could be
A bird, with wings so strong
I wish to fly away from here
When I feel I don't belong

I see these people so happy
Drunk upon the liquor of love
I wish that I could join these ranks
With the woman I think all of
But she wants it not
So should I now let go?
That's the question I have pondered
I guess I just don't know

What can I do?
To turn away is much too hard
All I ever wanted was you
As if reaching for a distant star
But when I started to get close
You moved away from me
I hope you like the path you chose
It's best if I leave you be.
Let the dust settle behind us.



Ode

I smile with a bright fond memory
Which was not so far away
How I longed to never move
And in your arms to stay

But as the hours rolled on by
Despite the windy wintry chill
Thoughts danced waltzes in my mind
And there we sat so still
While the hours drifted by.
And how I wished to turn to you
So beautiful to behold
And kiss those scarlet lips of yours
And whisk away the cold
Which through the window floated by…

And now I wonder as I sit here
If I was in your thoughts last night
Your face to me was crystal clear
A lonely midnight’s star, so bright

Which warmed me as I slumbered
Beneath your beauties cover



Untitled

I sit, staring out a window
To the darkness of the night
And it seems as if so long ago
Before my egress flight
I knew all there was to know

But now, I sit alone
Drinking a bottle with no name
In what I have made for home
While day and night which are the same
Revolve around me, cold as stone

I know not half as much
As I thought I knew
In fact through this dark Quarry, such
I found I have nothing left to do

But cry, alone, in this darkened night
Mourn for dead still living and I
More dead in spirit than any and all
Just waiting for my bells to call



Love is Like suicide

I lie on my back and see your eyes in the stars
I lie on my side and feel you behind me
I lie face down and it's better by far
Because there I may die, I can not breathe

Why do I love thee so, when you don't love me?
This makes such little sense
What makes your name ring in my ears?
Did this love I just invent?

It's something about your eyes, your scent
They deliver me to heaven
Maybe that's from where you're sent
And I must find out your intentions

But if you are an earth-born being
Did you mean to kill me?



When I think of you...

I wonder why I am lonely this eve
And I conclude that I don't know
I haven't done just what I need
I haven't let you go

I miss the look you gave me
When I would give you flowers
I miss the times that I would be
Doing nothng for hours
And I would come up to be
Something sweet for you when all was sour

I miss the motion of your body
And the kisses of your lips
As they danced all over me
The scent of your love I miss

I miss the smell of your perfume
When after you'd lie in my arms
And just each others love we' consume
And keep ourselves from harm

I miss your golden fleck'd hair
As the sun would twinkle through
I miss the days that you were here
But most of all I miss you...



Untitled

I sit here in candle light
For that is what I am to you
And as much as I tried to fight
There is nothing anymore that I can do

You know how you hold me
And that makes you hold me more
My love for you can not be seen
Or I shall throw the score

For although I love you true
I could never again love you
Despite that path which leads my heart
We must forever stay apart
To do otherwise would be murder
We can never be where we once were



Untitled

As I feel the life escape me
Through the puddle on the floor
I see you weren't there with me
And that made me want you more

And the more that I wanted you
The farther away you went
The only thing for me to do
Is live now with the love you left

You lie and say you miss me
Despite my pleas for honesty
The pain you caused and do not see
Racks my body constantly



Blood-red Tears

Blood-red tears crash like waves
Upon an empty shore
Although barren, days on days
Time on time it's damaged more
And now as time and days roll by
I've stoped myself from asking why

I realize now you are gone from me
Through many tears and pains
I still lie awake when I can't see
And try my strength to regain
For now I can see you really don't care
Despite your lies I've grown aware

This is where I should have been
So many months ago
I should have seen the clear signs when
You forced me out the door
But like a fool I kept returning
While you were still my letters burning

So now because of you I am lonely
But no more so than when you were here
I love you, yes, but don't you see?
Our end, my life marked with these blood-red tears



The Four Seasons

I: Spring

As the sun on a gemed lake shines
Through embudded elms divine
Bathing all with vernal signs
And gentle breezing, boughs entwined

A cobble-stoned country road
Through a grove with green aglow
Horses trotting down unslowed
Past a growing field, unmowed

A crimson sunset shining bright
As the sun falls out of sight
Passing through a cool March night
Shedding the final winters light

As the baton of winter passes to spring
The vernal equinox begins
And unseen birds new melodies sing
With April breezes 'neathe their wings

The wind and rain are sure to come
Perhaps the 'morrow with an arbor hum
And branches together, nature's drums
This evening splendour, springs new run

II: Summer

Swarming heat is all around
Rain for months has ne'er been found
Just drying dirt upon the ground
As a summer sun is steadily bound
On it's course encircling.
Dried now are the rains of spring
And buds on trees are now a-leaving.
Heat and sun on faces receiving.
On country porches in rocking chairs
And dusking light showing the stars
With Children playing on the stairs.
Into the distance a mother stares
Waiting for frolicking sons.
Now that summer has begun
No school tomorrow, midnight fun
Out until a dawning sun.
Heated, Humid, buggy nights
As later now we open lights
And far-off sunset mountain sights
'Tis the season of swimming and kites.
Of songbird songs throughout the air.
Of summer breezes blowing hair.
Barely creaking rocking chairs
While summer settles there

III: Autumn

Green leaves lose their emerald
And lie on the ground like water spilled
All the fields have now been tilled,
And the air carries a foreign chill

As jackets out of closets come
And summer melts into autumn
Parents sigh, school has begun
The end of laughing, full-day fun

As if an artists palette dropped
The leaves the drying grass have topped
Off to market are the crops
Daylights growing time has stopped

For time's a-passing life is still
AS dried leaves wander off a window sill
Over green a and grassy hills
On a wind with a wintry chill



Ode

I wish that I could hold you
I wish that I were there
I wish that I could touch you
And show you that I care

For even though so far apart
In this world we seem
We are closer in our hearts
Then we could ever be

The bond we share called love is strong
And we both feel it true
We are the lovers in every song
We are in every "I love you"

So remember as we are both at home
I am there, you aren't alone



Ode

I know that I am not perfect
In every way and deed
I know I am not what you expect
Nor am I what you need

But know this: The one bright night
That I awoke to your smile
And I gazed upon that heavenly sight
Which to this day beguiles me
I have known that I love you
Far greater than any
No one have I know like you
And every night I ask, "Can she
Be real or is she but a dream
An image only I can see?"

And then I hold you close to me
And I look into your sparkling eyes
I know then you, too, love me
And all the words you sigh
Are for my ears and heart
Dreaming we will never part



The Poem

It amazes me to see
How models so long set in stone
Et tossed as a feather to sea
As through this life I have grown

So many standard precedents
Torn assunder in the wind
Riding on your foul intent
As you pass on by and chill my skin

I read the words you wrote to me
And wonder if you meant them
And I still love, don't you see?
And don't you remember when?

How I treasured those lines
Of verse upon the page
Just because they are from you and mine
And by reading them, I see your face

But just as if you're long since dead
You are gone from here
And I see the poem long since read
And I cry a lonely tear



Nails upon my coffin lid
Hammered by your hand
And sealed by the actions you did
And those you claim you can

But what you do not realize
Is now that I am dead to you
I am no more taken by your eyes
My vision is no longer skewed
By your falsities and lies
Which are hourly renewed

Your games I will not play
I tried to see where you stand
But I should have guessed you wouldn't stay
And angry fires grow unfanned
So I'll just let you walk away
And stop the twist you planned

So go along and leave me be
Just think of THIS when you cry
Even as friends there is no we
And don't bother knocking, you know why



I awoke this day at an early hour
For a reason I didn't realize
But once to sit up I'd the power
I saw a beautiful crimson sunrise

And while he cast his vibrant light
Upon the Earth below
I wondered if I'd seen a sight
That matched this dawning so

Within the bright red moment
As I looked half-asleep to the sunrise
For just one fleeting second
There, I saw your eyes

They held the truth and beauty
That I see in your heart
No one else, I guess can see
Now that we are apart

But I don't let my broken-ness
Feed my image you
Losing you has me more depressed
Than anything you could do

So, here writing again
Alone, in a lonely room
I sit and try to make sense
Of my impending doom

But senseless I am now
I feel no pain, no hate, no love
I myself wonder how,
As if taken from above
My love did leave me empty
This cold and heartless man you see



It would have been so easy
For you to walk away
You've done it to me once before
When you left that fateful day

But those wounds, while long in healing
Have stopped their pain and bleeding

So you try to be my friend
Someone when you are lonely
And the step marked our definite end
When it showed that you still hate me

Know, my dear, the feeling is mutual
I hate you despite all my love for you

But that just doesn't matter
Now that you image is tattered



I saw an angel flying high
Trough a clear black Midnight sky
The stars a-dancing were her eyes
And a cloudless rain fell as she cried

She called for someone just to hold her
She need edto cry on a friendly shoulder
So I shoved away all my needs
And warmed her though this chilling scene

And now, I look to her
I think of none but her
And although we've ever met
This angel I wil never forget



This way to the Throne Room