Flute and Piccolo Jokes

How do you get two flutes to play in unison?: Shoot one.
What do you call an oboe with good tone?: Amazing.
How do concert band flute players does it take to change a light bulb?: None, they get their boyfriend to do it for them.
What's the definition of a minor second?: Two flutists playing in unison.
How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?: Only 1, but she'll break 10 bulbs before she realizes they can't be pushed in.
What key is the alto flute pitched in?: G-- I really don't care, either!!
How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?: Just one, but she'll have to twist it back and forth for an hour to make sure she gets it just right.
What's the difference between a flutist and a seamstress?: I seamstress tucks the frills.
What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo?: When you throw it in the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim.
How do you tune two piccolos?: You shoot them both.
Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."