French Horn Jokes

How can you make a French horn sound like a trombone?

1. Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.

2. Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes.

Why is the French horn a divine instrument?

Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.

How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.

A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?" "Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all." The next night she went out with a tuba player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?" "Ugh!" the first girl exclaimed. "Those huge, rubbery, blubbery, slobbering slabs of meat; oh, it was just gross!" The next night she went out with a French horn player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?" "Well," the first girl replied, "his kissing was just so-so; but I loved what he did with his hand."

What is the difference between a French horn section and a '57 Chevy?

You can tune a '57 Chevy.

How many French horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.

How do horn players traditionally greet each other?

1. "Hi. I played that last year."

2. "Hi. I did that piece in junior high."