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March '01
Quote of the Month:
"When you're conquering Europe, your embouchure goes to hell." -- Dr. Downing, about Frederick the Great, 3/19
3/1
Study Hours, I think
"You get weirder everyday!" -- Mary
3/3
In a poorly plowed parking lot
"It's like driving over Alaska." -- Sarah Bonds
3/4
Phi Sigma Pi meeting
"It's new business because it's MY business!" -- Jarret, during new business, so technically this is a breach of the code of secrecy.
Online
"Is your subconscious trying to warn you about something? Oh wait, you can't answer that." -- Kim, dream interpreting.
3/5
Sadler Hall
"I've been Bermaned." -- Mary, after being licked on the forehead by Andrew
3/7
Study Hours, definitely
"from mama nookie sexy the" -- Jenn's graphing calculator. It alphabetizes things.
3/8
Club Windstar (it's back)
"Cute things don't get rabies!" -- Sara's quotable and she knows it :)
"Oh, I DO amuse myself!" -- Sara
3/10
The Pariah Party, night one
"Whatever gets you off my ass." -- Hoter, to Andrew, who was literally on her ass.
"You have the hugest cleavage I have ever seen on a Hoter!" -- Disuhan, to the superlative Hoter (after all, she is the only one).
3/11
The Pariah Party, night two
Variations on a theme: expletives that grow on vines.
"Grape raping orgy!" -- Disuhan
"Rape a grape in half!" -- Disuhan was in a weird mood that night.
And then she just became dilusional...
Hoter: Sitting Bull was from what tribe?
Disuhan: Sioux! I was there!
3/14
The Bermatorium
Disuhan: That makes things go shooting up my leg.
Sara: Happy things?
"I'm sorry darling, do you suck?" -- Mikey to Disuhan during a game of Hearts.
3/15
The Diner
"We can't eat red meat or white meat ... or blue meat." -- Kathleen, being patriotic about Lent
Sara: I like pickles.
Mikey: I would LOVE to go swimming!
Sara: ?
3/17
The Disuhacienda
Ben: I talk to Margaret every day online.
Sara: Uh huh. And I bet you talk to Justine too.
"You're ribbed ... for pleasure." -- Kathleen, to Mikey who was, well, ribbed for pleasure.
Sara: I'll call you at 9:00, and then at 9:10 to make sure you're awake.
Kathleen: It's the Sara snooze!
3/18
Panda West
"The sauce makes this dish amazing and excellent." -- The menu's overzealous and enthusiastic description of "Chicken Amazing"
3/19
Music history
"When you're conquering Europe, your embouchure goes to hell." -- Dr. Downing, about Frederick the Great
Online
"I have to work at 12:30, so I have to eat beforehand. And Kimmel has some very good beforehand." -- Alyssa
Kimmel
Alyssa: I have a very attractive friend Jim who lives in Booth.
Andrew: Is he gay?
Alyssa: No.
Andrew: Useless!
3/20
Club Windstar
"Damn those creepy Oscars!" -- Miriam, about the Oscars creeping up on her.
Hendricks Chapel, Handbells Rehearsal
Jess Halbert: Okay, everyone. We're going to be serious now.
Nikki: (starts uncontrollably laughing) I was fine until you said we were going to be serious.
online
Lee (Kelly's friend): I walked in to pee.
Andrew: Ick! ... oh. I thought you said you walked into pee.
3/22
Kimmel
"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Grizelda Pollock?" -- Dan Bennett
"Because if you're going to suck on something, it should taste like ice cream." -- Hannah Bee, answering a question.
3/23
Dan Bart's Car, en route to Niagara Falls
Andrew: (burps)
Miriam: Andrew, say "excuse me."
Andrew: I may burp again.
Miriam: Then you'll have to say "excuse me squared."
Andrew: Why? I'm not burping burp times.
"If you want some soda you can lick my butt." -- Miriam, who had been sitting on a soda-stained car seat.
3/24
Pulling out of the Beaver
"The Beaver is scary to pull out of." -- Jenga
3/25
online
"Explain your ideal night: ketchup EVERYWHERE!" -- Kathleen
"Oh dear! I can do scary things." -- Kathleen, using Photoshop
"I just got a free tan!" -- Kathleen, still using Photoshop
3/27
E-mail
"I WILL NOW AND FOREVER HATE THE WORD MAYBE!" -- Pat, about the responses to Phi Sig's interchapter weekend.
"I ALSO HATE THE WORD TENTATIVE NOW!" -- Pat, about the RSVP to Alpha Beta
3/29
Bird Library, Study Hours
"I never recovered once Andrew disrobed." -- Smatt, playing Scrabble
3/30
Varsity Pizza, Big-little dinner
Lindsay: ...Esther Williams.
Andrew: What was the question?
Lindsay: What would you fear most while swimming?
3/31
Club Windstar, en route to Spaghetti Warehouse
"If you have a black and white spiral of death, touch seven." -- Benny
Dan Bennett will heretofor be referred to as Benny.
Previous and future references to the name "Jenga" are to Jenn Gagliano.
Smatt is Matt Rouillard, duh.
Sara's Room
Matt: There were like a bagillion minivans from Ontario driving to Syracuse.
Sara: That's because we're hosting the New York State Ontario Minivan Convention.
"They're both things with lots of stuff." -- Sara