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				COUNSELS  FOR  YOUTH
				   
				  All Right Reserved 1998
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I. INTRODUCTION

We live in a materialistic society, a society which, denying the spiritual
order, measures all things in terms of  material or earthly values. The
Commandments of God and the dignity of the human person are scoffed at and,
therefore, the sanctity of marriage is ridiculed. Adultery, divorce, birth
control, every type of impurity is no longer looked upon as sinful, base and
disgraceful. It is justified-- even praised, by some allegedly learned
scientists. In the wake of this materialistic living, we find broken homes,
diseased bodies, and neurotic souls. 

	Young people face a difficult challenge as they try to remain faithful
to Christ and His Church in today's world. These counsels are provided to help
young men and women live a true Christian life, despite the anti-Catholic values
of the world. First, let us reflect on some basic principles :


II. Who We Are

We are not our own makers. We have not come into existence through some accident
of evolution. In the beginning, God created man. We know also that at the time
of conception in our mother's womb, God created our immortal souls. We come
from God. Further, we depend on Him for our existence at every moment. Our
dependence is so complete that if God did not constantly sustain us, we would
simply cease to exist.  It is easy to forget our dependence on God in this
modern, man-made world. Yet experience tells us that whenever we come face to
face with the stark realities of suffering, sorrow, and death, we quickly
realize our helplessness and our weakness. We are all in the hands of God.
He has breathed an immortal soul into each of us. He has fashioned our human
nature according to His divine plan. Even if we try, we cannot undo this
basic dependence upon Him.

Further, the God who created us is infinitely wise and infinitely good. He
must have made us for a purpose. This purpose is our happiness with Him.
Because He has fashioned our hearts with a desire for infinite happiness, we
can find fulfillment and peace only in Him. All other things which give us
happiness are reflections of His goodness and beauty. They are meant to lead
us to Him. Our human loves, wonderful as they may seem, are short-lived and
shallow unless they are rooted in Him.

We have free will. This means that we are conscious of our ability to make
free choices in our acts. For example, we can choose to act or not to act. If we
choose to act, we can select different purposes and different means to achieve
them. Free will does not imply that we act without motive. It does not imply
that all our acts are free. Since we are creatures of habit and impulse, there
may be few acts which are fully free in our routine, daily lives. Nevertheless,
we have the ability to make free choices.

We are affected by what takes place in our body as well as in our soul. Both
body and soul have powerful impulses and drives which affect each other and
constantly seek to be satisfied. We must learn to control and direct these
forces so that they serve our best interests. In themselves, these impulses
and drives are not evil. They become the occasion of evil when we fail to
control and regulate them.

We are capable of knowing what is right and wrong. Independent of all human
law, certain human acts are by their very nature good, and others are bad. By 
considering our purpose in life and our nature, we can know what these actions
are. At the same time, God has given us an authoritative teaching Church
which infallibly defines right and wrong in the moral order.

We are responsible for our actions. Because we have an intellect by which we
can know what is right and a free will by which we can choose, we are
accountable for our actions. Although we cannot directly suppress our basic
impulses and drives, we can learn to control and regulate them. For example,
we cannot directly suppress the urge to eat steak on Friday, but we can refuse
to act on this impulse. Furthermore, through experience we acquire a knowledge
of what stimulates our various drives, and frequently we can avoid the
stimulus. 

The human nature which we have just described is manifested in two sexes--male
and female. We differ as men and women because we possess different, though
complementary, generative systems. Since we are a composite of body and soul,
this property of sex affects our entire physical, psychic, and spiritual
make-up. In marriage, men and women are complementary, that is, they complete
each other at all these levels of human activity.

According to the divine plan, as men and women you are absolutely equal in
your personal dignity as children of God. You are absolutely equal in
relation to the final purpose of life, which is everlasting union with God
in the happiness of heaven. 

It follows that although you are equal as persons, you are not identical. Much
of the modern confusion concerning the "equality" of the sexes could be avoided
if this distinction were kept in mind. Further, the development of sex according
to the distinctive pattern of maleness or femaleness goes on in the life cycle
of each of us whether we choose to use our reproductive faculties or not. At the
same time, the sex drive will manifest itself in some form in all normal
individuals. 

Since the Fall, we are born without the gift of sanctifying grace, but our
nature is still capable of receiving this gift. As the Church teaches, the
Sacrament of Baptism restores sanctifying grace to us, and this grace can be
lost only by committing mortal sin. Hence, the noblest aspect of our nature
is its capacity to be elevated by grace, to share in God's own life. Once we
have received the life of grace through baptism, it is our supreme privilege
and duty to protect,foster, and develop this spiritual life within us by
avoiding evil and doing good. 

We have considered where we came from and what we are, now we want to know
where we are supposed to be going. Briefly, we are created for eventual union
with God in heaven. The purpose of our earthly life is to love, honor,and serve
God in this world so as to be happy forever with Him in the next.  How do we
serve God? By fulfilling our role or vocation in life to the best of our
ability and in accordance with the divine plan made known to us through the
teaching Church.

 "For all men, of every condition and in whatever honorable walk of life 
  they may be, can and ought to imitate that most perfect example of
  holiness, placed before man by God, namely Christ our Lord, and by God's
  grace to arrive at the summit of perfection, as is proved by the example
  of many saints."


III. Living our Faith

	I am going to give you four important principles. By following these
you can be sure that you will not fall into error. Let them guide you to do
what is pleasing in the sight of God :


* Love, honor, obey and respect your parents: 

We must honour our fathers and mothers in our youth by implicit obedience in
all things but sin, and in complete respect, and a filial fear that has its
roots in a love that aims not to hurt the object of its love.  We, must
honour our father and mothers in adult age, even unto death. We must care
for them in need at the expense of our vocations, plans, desires, and
dreams and even at the expense of our lives if  that is required. For they
come first after God, being our most beloved and close "neighbours."

* Learn your religion :

How can you live your faith, much less defend it, if you don't know it. It
is very important to be sufficiently knowledgeable on all areas of the 
Catholic Faith.  What you learn will serve you for your entire lifetime,
and guide you through many difficulties.  

* Frequent the sacraments :

Our Lord, Jesus Christ, instituded the Sacraments as a source of grace. Our
lives revolve around the Sacraments; soon after birth we recieve the Sacrament
of Baptism, we recieve the other Sacraments throughout our lives, and at the
end of our earthly life we recieve the Sacrament of Extreme Unction. Thus,
the Sacraments are called the life of the Church. 

It is extremely difficult to remain steadfast in the faith without recourse to
the Sacraments of the New Law. Confide in your confessor often and listen to
his advice, do not be negligient in assisting at holy Mass. Our Lord is
there, in the church, why do you not go to Him ?

* Avoid the company of those without faith or those who riticize or scoff at
  religion. Base your morality on the teachings of the Church.

      Today, when secular society no longer honours the Truth we are obligated,
perhaps more than ever, to avoid those who present a proximate occasion of sin.
False friends who come to you enticing you with all sorts of worldly pleasures,
in contradiction to the teaching of the Church should be avoided.

	Our Lord, has given the Church certain moral teachings which can never
change. When trying to decide what is right or wrong you need to base your
decision on these teachings. And you cannot know them unless you learn your
religion. 


IV. Our Calling

Our vocation is how we are called to serve God. In His infinite goodness, He
has willed a vocation for each and every one of us.

Generaly speaking there are three vocations; the single life, the married life
and the religious life. All of them demand sacrifice-- in marriage one must
sacrifice certain things for a harmonious life. In the single life we
sacrifice entering into the union of marriage or having children,or joining
the religious life. 

In the religious life, we give up everything in order to live for God and to
bring more souls to him. Each person has a vocation; none is superior to the
other-- but each is suitable to the individual person. 

	But how do we know? First of all we must pray to the Holy Ghost for
knowledge of God's will and the grace to follow it. We should also ask for
the advice of those who know us best. 

	Finally, while all of us wish that God would come down and tell us
exactly what He wants us to do, we must have some measure of trust in whatever
inspirations we recieve from Him about our vocation and follow through on
them; trusting in the goodness of God. It is easy to doubt one's vocation;
and we must trust in His goodness to a certain degree. It is by following
His inspirations,trustingly, that we arrive at our true vocation. 

V.  Friendship, Love , Marriage

If we were absolutely perfect, we would have no need of loving anyone outside 
ourselves. But love itself starts with the desire for something good. God is
good. God is being, and therefore has no need of anything outside Himself.

It is possible for man to mistake what is good for him, but it is impossible
for him not to desire goodness.  Man is right in trying to fill up his life,
his mind, his body, his house with what is good; he may be wrong perhaps in
what he considers as good. Without the desire for goodness, there would be no
love, whether it be love of country, love of friend, or love of spouse.

God loves us because He puts His Goodness into us and finds it there. We
love certain creatures because we find goodness in them. If one asks why the
drunkard loves alcohol,or why the criminal loves stealing, it is because
each of them sees some good in what he does. What each seeks is not the
highest moral good, for endowed with free will, each can always choose a
partial rather
than a total good, thus making a god of his appetites. 

Though at the beginning, knowledge is the condition of love, in its latter
stages love can increase knowledge. A husband and wife who have lived
together for many years have a new kind of knowledge of one another which is
deeper than any spoken word, or any scientific investigation; it is knowledge
that comes from love, a kind of intuitional perception of what is in the mind
and the heart of the other.

It is possible to love more than we know. A simple person in good faith may have
a greater love of God than a theologian, and as a result a keener understanding
of the ways of God with the heart than psychologists have. 

Because we are imperfect beings, we seek to remedy our lack by possessions.
Thus people who are "naked" on the inside, in the sense that they have no
virtue in their soul, try to compensate for it by excessive luxury on the
outside. What one person lacks it is hoped the other will supply. The saint
loves the possible virtue of the sinner. The Son of God became the Son of
Man because He loved man.

All love craves unity. This is evident in marriage where there is the unity of
two in one flesh. Because love creates unity, we have explained why some
heroic souls are willing to take on the sufferings and sins of others. A
loving mother faced by a child's pain would take on that pain, if she could,
in order to free her child of it. She feels the pain as her own, because her
love has made her one with the infant.

Just as love in the face of pain takes on the pain because of oneness with
the beloved, so love in the face of evil takes on the sins of others, because of
oneness with the beloved. This sacrificial love reached its highest expression
in the Garden of Gethsemane, where Christ so identified Himself with sinners
that He began to sweat crimson drops of blood. It reached its greatest physical
expression on Calvary, when He offered His life for those whom He loved. But
before Gethsemane and Calvary, the law that love tends to unify the lovers
produced the Incarnation, in which God, Who loved man, became man to save him
from his sins.

The first love is not necessarily the lasting love. The thrill of the young
priest at his First Solemn Mass, and the near ecstasy of the nun at her
clothing, are like "candy" given by God to urge them to climb spiritually.
Later on the sweetness is taken away, and it takes a supreme effort of the
will to be all one ought to be.

Too many married people expect their partner to give that which only God can
give, namely, an eternal ecstasy. If man or woman could give that which the
heart wants, he or she would be God. Wanting the ecstasy of love is right,
but expecting it in the flesh that is not on pilgrimage to God is wrong. 

Only God can give what the heart wants. In true Christian love, the husband and
wife see God coming through their love. But without God the infinity must be
sought in the finitude of the partner, which is to gather figs from
thistles. Eternity is in the soul, and all the materialism of the world
cannot uproot it.

The tragedy of the materialist psychologies of our day comes from trying to make
a bodily function satisfy the infinite aspirations of the soul. It is this
that creates complexes and unstable minds and divorce courts. It is like
trying to put all the words of a book on the cover. Eliminate the Divine Third
from human love, and there is left only the substitution of cruel repetition for
infinity. The need of God never disappears. Those who deny the existence of
water are still thirsty, and those who deny God still want Him in their craving
for Beauty and Love and Peace, which He alone is.

That is why the Christian home and Christian marriage must be immersed in
prayer. That is why constant recourse must be made to Christ Our Lord who
gave us the Great Sacrament. That is why husbands and wives, fathers and
mothers with their children, must be on their knees every day praying to Mary,
the Mediatrix of All Grace. That is why in the exhortation after the
marriage ceremony, the priest charges the newly married couple:

 "Cherish with solicitude the grace that this day has been conferred upon 
  you; it will direct you in every difficulty; it will comfort you in the
  hour of trial; it will be a continual source of peace, of joy, of mutual
  affection on earth, and a pledge of your eternal union in heaven" 


I. Friendship

	Be careful in selecting your friends; better to have a few good
friends than many false friends who only wish to indulge in parties,
drinking and sex. The following will enable you to choose a worthy friend
or marriage partner:

Good morals-  Does your friendship benefit both of you morally? 
	      Do you share the same views on morality?
	     
Manners-      Does he drink too much? Does he use crude language?
	      Is he courteous? Does he show proper respect towards others?
	      Is he clean and modest in clothing ?
	       
Personality-  Do you feel comfortable and at ease with him? Can you talk
	      to him about most things? Is he considerate and thoughtful
	      towards his parents and siblings?
	      Can he be trusted with a secret ?  Will he stand by you
	      during a period of crisis or does he seem more interested
	      in himself ?
  
Religion-     Does he practice his religion ?  Do you both have the same
	      religion and the same view towards it? 

Compatibility- Do you share some similar recreations and interests ?
	       Does he get along well with your family? 


These questions should help you in deciding whether someone would make a 
good friend or not. Some people are by nature very sociable and make friends
easily, while others are more retired and have 2 or 3 good friendships which
last them a lifetime.

Its not important how many friends you have. It is better for you to have one
good friend , than a 100 false ones. But how does one make friends?

If you cannot find worthy friends at school or work, develop your interests
and hobbies. Join a suitable group in which you may find like-minded people;
you can even start your own little group based on your hobby or interest.

Cordiality is very important in our social lives. Today, it has been replaced
by politeness-- vain and often contemptuous compliments, offers of help which
are insincere, and declarations of interest in others' concers which seem to
be genuine but are really cold and false. Be cordial and sincere in what you
say, and you will soon find that it attracts far more friends than a false
compliment or insincere offer of help.


II. The Strength To Persevere

	Most young people choose to do what is popular, regardless of
their own views. They choose to follow the crowd for the sake of popularity
no matter where it leads them. 

	The Sacrament of Confirmation has given you the grace to practice
your religion despite any obstacles. The young man or woman who has real
courage, will not follow the crowd blindly. Rather, he will follow what
his conscience, educated by the Church, tells him is right. In doing so,
he may often have to give up the popularity which comes from doing what
'the crowd' is doing. 

	You should not feel sad if this happens. It is only a sign that
you have the courage to base your decisions on the moral laws of Christ,
and to remain true to God. Those who follow 'the crowd' blindly, often
do not agree with what is being done, yet they do not have the courage
to follow what they know is right.  You should then be thankful to God
for having given you the strength to do what is pleasing to Him and not
what is pleasing to other creatures. This should be a source of great
solace and joy for you; regardless of whether or not you are popular.

	The Christian life is one of sacrifice; our Lord tells us that
if wish to be His disciples we must take up our Cross and follow Him.
If following His commandments make you unpopular, it is but a small price
to pay. Our Lord suffered all sorts of insults and blasphemy so that
you might have eternal life; are you going to give it up for popularity?
When you remain faithful to God and yourself, He will surely send you
real friends, when He wills it. Be patient, and continue as always; life
has many surprises .

III. Prayer

	Make a daily habit of saying certain suitable prayers each and
every day. There are many devotions for every kind of person. The Rosary
may be good for some, for others it may be some spiritual reading etc..

	There is great strength in prayer; it is a sure defense in times
of temptation, and a source of consolation in times of distress or confusion.
Remember, that your real purpose in life is to seek after the things of
God and not the world.  Prayer lifts you away from the things of the world,
it keeps you close to God and strenghtens your faith. Always remember your
Guardian Angel who watches over you before you go to sleep. Don't let a
single day pass without having spent some time in prayer-- God always hears
the prayers of the youth, and will surely give you the graces you need to
live a good , holy life.

	When things seem difficult, ask God in prayer to give you His grace;
without it you cannot live a true Christian life. 


IV. Some Maxims To Remember

*       God must always come first in your life.

*       Love and lust are not the same thing.

*       Recieve the Sacraments of Penance and the Bl. Eucharist frequently.

*       Never hide any sins from your confessor because of shame.

*       If you have some difficulty, always talk to your parents or your
	priest; and listen to his guidance carefuly.

*       Dress in a clean, neat and modest manner.

*       Give your parents and elders the respect they deserve; they have
	more experience than you in life.

*       Never neglect your daily prayers.       

*       Don't sit around doing nothing; pick up a new hobby or interest to
	occupy your time.

*       Always trust in the goodness of God. 


			PRAYER FOR YOUR VOCATION

	O my God, Thou who art the God of wisdom and counsel,
	Thou who readest in my heart the sincere will to please
	Thee alone and to govern myself with regard to my choice
	of a state of life entirely in conformity with Thy most
	holy desire; grant me by the intercession of the most
	Blessed Virgin, my Mother, and of my holy patrons,
	especially of St. Joseph and St. Aloysius, the grace to
	know what state of life I ought to choose, and when to
	embrace it, so that in it I may be able to pursue and
	increase Thy glory, and work out my salvation, and merit
	that heavenly reward which Thou hast promised to those
	that do Thy will. Amen. 
			      [Indulgence 300  days, once a day]

		A PRAYER FOR YOUTH TO OBTAIN DIVINE DIRECTION

	O Almighty God, whose wise and amiable providence watches over
every human event, deign to be my light and my counsel in all my undertakings
particularly in the choice of a state of life. I know that on this important
step my sanctification and salvation may in a great measure depend. I know
that I am incapable of discerning what may be best for me; therefore I cast
myself into Thy arms, beseeching Thee, my God, Who has sent me into this
world only to love and serve Thee, to direct by Thy grace every moment and
action of my life to the glorious end of my creation. I renounce most sincerely
every other wish, than to fulfil Thy designs on my soul, whatever they may be;
and I beseech Thee to give me the grace, by imbibing the true spirit of a 
Christian, to qualify myself for any state of life to which Thy adorable
providence may call me. O my God; whenever it may become my duty to make a 
choice, do Thou be my light and my counsel and mercifuly deign to make the
way known to me wherein I should walk, for I have lifted up my soul to Thee.
Preserve me from listening to the suggestions of my own self-love, or worldly
prudence, in prejudice to Thy holy inspirations. Let Thy good Spirit lead me
into the right way, and let Thy adorable providence place me, not where I 
may naturaly feel inclined to go, but where all things may be most conducive
to Thy glory and to the good of my soul. Mary, Mother of Good Counsel, Seat of
Wisdom, Help of Christians, pray for me. 
  
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