You know you might be a redneck if....(part 2)
  1. URA Redneck if you call your father "Uncle Daddy"
  2. URA Redneck if you think making love is a family affair.
  3. URA Redneck if a 6-pack and a bug zapper makes quality entertainment.
  4. URA Redneck if common household phrase is "Somebody jiggle that".
  5. URA Redneck if directions to your house include "turn off paved road."
  6. URA Redneck if every socket in yer house breaks a fire code.
  7. URA Redneck if sittin on yer porch shootin chickens is fun.
  8. URA Redneck if stealing road signs is a family outing.
  9. URA Redneck if taxidermist bill exceeds annual income.
  10. URA Redneck if the dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
  11. URA Redneck if the family business requires a lookout.
  12. URA Redneck if the kids are hungry 'cause you bought mud flaps.
  13. URA Redneck if the main color of your pickup is primer.
  14. URA Redneck if the neighbors started a petition over your Xmas lights.
  15. URA Redneck if the taillight covers on your car are made of tape.
  16. URA Redneck if the UFO Hotline limits you to one call per day.
  17. URA Redneck if there's a wasp's nest in your living room.
  18. URA Redneck if truckers tell your wife to watch her language.
  19. URA Redneck if when you kissed your bride your John Deere cap fell off.
  20. URA Redneck if you think women are turned on by tongue gestures.
  21. URA Redneck if you answer the door with a baseball bat in your hand.
  22. URA Redneck if you are allowed to bring your dog to work.
  23. URA Redneck if you can have sex without spilling your beer.
  24. URA Redneck if you can take your bra off while driving.
  25. URA Redneck if you can't visit relatives without your car getting muddy
  26. URA Redneck if you car stereo costs more than your car.
  27. URA Redneck if you come back from the dump with more than you took.
  28. URA Redneck if you consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
  29. URA Redneck if you cut your toenails in front of company.
  30. URA Redneck if you do most of your shopping at a truck stop.
  31. URA Redneck if you dog doubles as your dishwasher.
  32. URA Redneck if you don't need a clean shirt to go to work.
  33. URA Redneck if you drove to elementary school.
  34. URA Redneck if you entertain with tapes of championship bowling.
  35. URA Redneck if you entertain yourself for an hour with a fly swatter.
  36. URA Redneck if you get Odor-Eaters as a Christmas present.
  37. URA Redneck if you get your oil changed by your barber.
  38. URA Redneck if you give away more free puppies than the Humane Society.
  39. URA Redneck if you go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
  40. URA Redneck if you grow sideburns cos it looks so good on your sister.
  41. URA Redneck if you had to remove the Marlboro to kiss the bride.
  42. URA Redneck if you have `dress' boots.
  43. URA Redneck if you have a civil war chess set.
  44. URA Redneck if you have an 8-track player in your 4x4.
  45. URA Redneck if you have any relatives named Elmer or Jed.
  46. URA Redneck if you have Mason jars filled with stuff the FBI can't ID.
  47. URA Redneck if you have more appliances in the yard than in the house.
  48. URA Redneck if you have more than twelve dogs on your porch.
  49. URA Redneck if you have to move the transmission to take a bath.
  50. URA Redneck if you hold a frog and _it_ worries about getting warts.
  51. URA Redneck if you keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
  52. URA Redneck if you keep a pellet gun by the front door.
  53. URA Redneck if you keep your thermostat on 85 in the winter.
  54. URA Redneck if you love your pets more than your family.
  55. URA Redneck if you own a homemade fur coat.
  56. URA Redneck if you own more TVs than books.
  57. URA Redneck if you prefer car keys to Q-tips.
  58. URA Redneck if you prefer to _walk_ the excess length off your jeans.
  59. URA Redneck if you prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
  60. URA Redneck if you quit your job to avoid paying child support.
  61. URA Redneck if you record WWF Wrestling while you're at work.
  62. URA Redneck if you serve Gallo and colby at your cheese & wine parties.
  63. URA Redneck if you share your beer with the dog.
  64. URA Redneck if you skipped school in the 8th grade to vote.
  65. URA Redneck if you taught your dog to retrieve beers from the fridge.
  66. URA Redneck if you think BMW is the call letters for a radio station.
  67. URA Redneck if you think cow tipping should be an Olympic sport.
  68. URA Redneck if you think Ernest is funny.
  69. URA Redneck if you think God looks like Hank Williams, Jr.
  70. URA Redneck if you think heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
  71. URA Redneck if you think your boyfriend hits you "`cause he cares".
  72. URA Redneck if you use more than one can of hairspray per week.
  73. URA Redneck if you voted Tammy Bakker as `Year's Best Dressed Woman'
  74. URA Redneck if you're arrested for getting relief in an ice machine.
  75. URA Redneck if you're holding a beer in your wedding pictures.
  76. URA Redneck if you're too drunk to fish.
  77. URA Redneck if you're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
  78. URA Redneck if you've been kicked out of the KKK for being a "bigot".
  79. URA Redneck if you've ever bought a used cap.
  80. URA Redneck if you've ever given rat traps as a gift.
  81. URA Redneck if you've ever hit a jukebox with a cue stick.
  82. URA Redneck if you've ever hit on someone in a VD clinic.
  83. URA Redneck if you've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.
  84. URA Redneck if you've ever rolled your riding lawn mower.
  85. URA Redneck if you've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
  86. URA Redneck if you've ever stolen a bulldozer.
  87. URA Redneck if you've ever used a weed whacker indoors.
  88. URA Redneck if you've worn something to church having sequins on it.
  89. URA Redneck if your all-time favorite movie is "Cannonball Run".
  90. URA Redneck if your appearance got you fired from a construction job.
  91. URA Redneck if your baby's favorite teething ring is a garden hose.
  92. URA Redneck if your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers".
  93. URA Redneck if your belt buckle is heavier than 4 lbs.
  94. URA Redneck if your best suit is a Budweiser cap & an orange vest.
  95. URA Redneck if your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
  96. URA Redneck if your bumper stick says "My other car is a combine".
  97. URA Redneck if your car has never had a full tank of gas.
  98. URA Redneck if your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
  99. URA Redneck if your date hits road signs with bottles while you drive.
  100. URA Redneck if your dog can smoke a cigarette.
  101. URA Redneck if your dog sleeps closer to you than your wife does.
  102. URA Redneck if your first grandchild is born on your 26th birthday.
  103. URA Redneck if your front license plate has "Foxy Lady" in airbrush.

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