With Your Host
Mark T. Camarena, CMA
These deep Deep River Discounts will only be available until May 31, 2001 so don't delay get yours today. Call right now (219) 947-7850 outside of the area call toll free at 1-800-WAV-PARK (1-800-928-7275) The office is open Monday-Friday from 10 a.m until 5:00 p.m. so you can stop by then or call and order right over the phone as all major credit cards are accepted. Remember that you read it here first and remember to tell them that Mark T. Camarena sent you. Now is the time to prepare to have even more splashtastic fun in the summer of 2001 at Indiana's Premiere waterpark Deep River Watepark of course. I'll see you there.
For more pictures visit Gabbin With Guards 1999
During the many hours I spend at Indiana's Premiere Waterpark Deep River Waterpark of course which is located just 4.5 miles east of I-65 in beautiful Lake County Indiana I make observations and here for entertainment purposes only are my opinions on things. These are only the opinions of Mark T. Camarena and in no way are supposed to be construed as facts. As the disclaimer clearly indicates Mark T. Camarena is in no way associated with Deep River Waterpark, The Lake County Parks Department, Splash Down Dunes, Ellis and Associates, The M & M Mars Company or Tootsie Roll Industries Inc.
Without further ado here is your host:
Mark T. Camarena
In July 11, 1998 edition of the Post Tribune Deep River Waterpark officials sated at least half their lifeguards return the following season. It seems to me that this percentage may have decreased from 1999 until 2000 because there seem to be a whole bunch of new guards this season. Therefore I could not pick one best new guard this year. Instead I have come up with what I call the Dandy Dozen. Since I could not limit it to 12 I had to go with a baker's dozen so here are the 13 best new guards this year in my opinion. If you got left off it is probably cause I haven't seen you in awhile or I don't know your name. Here they are in alphabetical order by first name
Angela: A picture of her you were suppose to see but then she quit rather abruplty so you do not get to see her tattoo. I did though. She is a scorpio so we all have to wait awhile for her to turn 18 but she will before the end of the year.
Brent: His picture you will get to see. I like it when he is at the top of the ride because that is where he belongs on top of the world.
Chris: He is also the lifeguard that seems to enjoy his job the most. I am pretty sure that is his name. When he has fun the guests can't help but have fun too.
Craig: He threw my sister out of the park who could ask for anything more. Actually he didn't really throw her out the park she just left because it was to cold. He was right that I could not climb 4,000 stairs on the 4th of July but I sure did try.
Fred: He tries to get people to use proper English but good luck with that Fred. Even though I have an extensive vocabulary I often lack a mastery of the English language.
Jacyln: She happens to be the lifeguard who gave me the best push on the storm this year. Her blonde hair is usually in a ponytail and her navel is pierced. She is one nice guard.
Krissi: She nearly got the title of Best Lifeguard of the Year but then she went to Arizona and the competition snuck up and took that title from her. She is probably the shortest at 5'2" I asked if I could take her picture but she declined :( Can't force anyone to do something they don't want too. She also has her navel pierced.
Kristen :) : Her picture you really were suppose to see and to all those of you who really wanted to see this beautiful girl I am sorry. Her hair is brown her eyes are green but sometimes brown. If you have a frown listening to her voice will turn it upside down. I can usually tell what slide she is on because her line gets rather long and many a time I have heard guys say they will only stay until she goes away. I call her my sweetheart because she is not only so cute but she is so friendly and she has the voice of an etheral angel. To hear her laugh is a real treat. I don't see how anyone can't like Kristen :) I mean even my sister likes her which is why later she will be named the Best Female Lifeguard of the year.
Lauren: She is kind of tall. I haven't been able to determine how tall. Her hair is curly and usually it is in a ponytail. It is very nice and so is she.
Megan: She is color coordinated from head to toe as she is in red sandals. On this site a picture of her you should see. While I am not in anyway associated with Tootsie Roll Industries Inc. her father is so she seems to think its good when there are Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Tuesdays.
Melisssa: I don't know what I can say about Melissa except that she made it into the Dandy Dozen of the best new lifeguards this year.
Mike: He is probably the nicest male lifeguard around in my opinion. He always says hi to me and I am finally confident that Mike is his name. He also seems to be having fun and that is what counts. One Tubin Tuesday he was at the park and they tried to convince him he should help out on the storm but he didn't have his gear. I doubt anyone would really mind though. It does often get busy when there are 2 pushers and 3 slides.
Ryan: If you go back to Gabbin With Guards 1998 you will find my Sister's Secrets 1998 finally revealed back then there was a female guard by the name of Ryan. This time it's a guy and I think I have been calling him Justin in the past. Hopefully, I got the right name this time.
Best Converted First Year Guard: Alex you know I can not say enough good things about Alex she is just great and here near the end of the season became an official lifeguard which makes me happy because well she sure knows the rules at least to every slide ride I have seen her work. I used to see her dealing with flowers all the time but then one day at the top of whitewater she appeared and she impressed me and I don't impress easily. As I say Alex is just great and I think it is great that she is an official lifeguard now although I still don't think they will give her the bottom of the swim suit.
There you have some of the new guards of Y2K.
This is my good friend Sarah. I think she is very nice not to mention good looking although sometimes she had some problems with her hair like when she wore it in a bun and it reminded me of my 5th grade teacher. On that day she could get no one to come to her slide. Later on this page you can read how I think her hair looks best. She is one of the lifeguards that I was rumored to like during Y2K and yes I did climb the dragon 94 stairs 5 more times just so I could see how she fixed her hair one day. On the list of the eight girls I'd love to date she is somewhere on it.
Sarah was kind enough this year to put me back into good spirits everytime the lovely Christina made me sad. I am very greatful to her in fact I did write a poem kind of about her repairing my heart but I am debating weather to put it up here or not so you will just have to check this site and see if I will. Without Sarah I am sure I would have wore the blue shorts much more. Of course I really want that blue whistle around her neck as my sister collects whistles. I was suppose to get Ashley's blue whistle but somehow it never got to me. Well one day Sarah told me that she bought a whole new college wardrobe but I did not get to haver her model it for me. She told me I get to see her in a swimsuit and now you kind of do to.
If you are a regular visitor to this site you already know who has the best sandals this year it is a 3 way tie. Once again in alphabetical order by first name here we go.
Angela: She just snuck in before this was updated. There a very nice orange color I like them. I think they make her look a bit taller after all she admits that she is short. If memory serves she is 5'3.5"
Courtney: They are simple and to the point. Sure it helps that I claim her as my best friend but even if I didn't she would still be a winnner in this category. Soon on this site an updated picture of her you will see. Most people know the color yellow does something for me and her sandals are yellow.
Misty: Her sandals are mainly purple. Haven't seen any like that before. They are very nice.
You know when you work in the sun you should protect your eyes and there are many a pair of sunglasses worn by the guards at Deep River Waterpark in another 3 way tie here are the best sunglasses in alphabetical order
Brian: Everyone knows I am partial to the color yellow. His are yellow and when he dons them he reminds me of the goggles that the wrestler Rakishi puts on before he dances.
Kim: I have been trying to determine if they are white or blue. I am thinking white and with a flare them she can wear.
Stacey: Some people claim that blue is my favorite color. Her sunglasses are a light blue color and they sure are nice.
Now that you know some of the old and some of the new we move onto the best guards in year #2 in this hosts opinion. Here are what I call the Fab Five in alphabetical order.
Aarron: I really hope thats his name because I have been calling him that for 2 years now. I am pretty sure his picture will be here so finally some one will tell me if I got it right. He rescued me from Megan at the begining of the year when she thought I perhaps couldn't fit in a single tube. Lucky he came or I may still be at the cage pointing out that yes I can fit in a single tube.
Brittney: I don't know how to spell it but that's my best guess. I know she knows my name which is good because she is so polite but I so hate being called sir. She now just calls me Mark. If someone said to me Mark you have to go on every attraction in the park today and somewhere your going to have a little accident we don't know where it could be at the body slide, the tube slide or maybe even the wave pool but you have your choice of one lifeguard to personally guard you who would I choose? Well you'd probably guess the lovely Christina. If so you'd be wrong. I'd choose Brittney because on hot days and cold days I have seen her jump in. I have all the confidence in the world in her abilities so if I had my choice of my personal lifeguard for the day I'd choose Brittney and not because I like her. I do just not like that. I have the utmost confidence in her lifeguarding ability. She also happens to be one extremely friendly guard.
Erin: In year number 2 she is usually so serious. I am usually mean to her because she takes it so well. I have tried to be nicer this year but I don't know how that is going. Its to bad she lost her modesty but many guys are happy that she switched from a one piece suit to a two piece this year.
Michelle: She has always been right all the rides are safe when ridden properly. Don't know what is proper ask and she will tell. Her picture is somewhere on this site ing Gabbin With Guards 1999 My feelings about Michelle are still the same today.
Nikki: Later on the page she gets the award of the lifeguard that seems the happiest. I don't know how she does it but when she claimed to be sick she was still happy. Her hair is usually a mess which I am quick to point out but it doesn't bother her one bit. I still don't get that tatoo on her back but hey that's just me I'm trying to get a picture of it for you all to see. Usually you'll find her with a smile on her face and when the guards are happy so are the guests.
Well you know it was brought to my attention that I neglected to put someone on this list so how am I going to change the Fab Five. I mean I can't have another sensational six which were the six lifeguards I liked in 1996 before I met the lovely Christina. So since it's my page I am going to go with the Fab 5 plus one with my apologies to Melissa for the oversite.
In year #2 and one of the best which is good because she will at least be with us until the park closes this year she has some nice sandals purple if I recall. Unfortunately for a year and a half I had been calling her Vanessa but at least I finally learned so if you see this friendly lifeguard who also taught swimming lessons at the park this year you will know who I am talking about her real name is: Melissa.
Well after year #2 it gets a little hazy for me as to who is in what year so perhaps I should just go down the list and try to figure it out. That would be wise but instead I will try to remember and guess.
When I think of year number 3 there is one lifeguard that pops into mind as the best of the bunch. I hope she is in year number 3 or boy the jokes on me. She also gets the oh so coveted most improved hair style award this year. She is Misty who also has some very colorful sandals. She is so friendly and so when I think of 3rd year guards and my favorite I give the vote to Misty.
Perkiest Lifeguard: Therese when she talks I can't believe she doesn't run out of breath but she doesn't. Everytime I see her she always seems so perky.
Well if we go to 4th year guards I have to admit I am extremely prejuidice and therefore I vote with my heart and apparently everyone knows who has my heart she has had it since the end of August 1996 when she was not a lifeguard at Deep River Waterpark. Amazingly for me she became one in 1997 and in 1997 for her I wrote the poem Wondering She is the only girl I wish to marry it doesn't even have to be on top of the storm it can be anywhere. Well if you haven't figured it out yet she is a former winner of lifeguard with the best facial expressions, way back in 1997 she started the colorful sandal craze with some yellow sandals and people today still wonder is that why I wear my trademark yellow shorts? She is the "girl with the cute knees" "The perfect girl to me" The one and only Lovely Christina.
Well if I did not vote totally with my heart I'd have to say that all of the guards that have worked at Deep River Waterpark that started in 1997 are extremely good. I think that is the best bunch of all 6 years the park has been open. It is good that some of them are still around. Of course I could not name them but I could name Sarah because I asked her what year she is in. Sure she likes the red suits since they say guard on them I preferred the black. She also gets the award for the best watch this year and usually she seems quite happy and that is what I like to see.
Then who could forget my best friend the lead Guard Courtney. I don't get to see her that much since she is a lead guard which is much different then when she worked in the sand. This year she slammed a door on the lovely Christina's foot so that we could both experience the same pain. Now what are friends for? (I doubt she did it on purpose though) Soon she will be a nurse. At least for now she is at Deep River Waterpark and she is one friendly guard. She has to remain my friend because she knows the secret of the T in my name. Plus this year when I ended up injured she actually gave me some ice to put on my foot and asked me what was wrong at least that was comforting.
The friendliest Male Lifeguard: Erik and in an unprecedented event he receives the lifetime achievment award for 4 years of service (1997-2000) To See a Picture of Erik and to read about the lifetime achievment award.
Well you know I love to ride the slides but this year the pushing has been well a bit of a disappointment. I do miss the king of slide ride pushing Mr. James but he is gone now so who this year could be the best pushers on the slide rides?
Best Slide Ride Pusher: Julia her picture soon here you should see I just hope that is her name. I have my reasons why I think she is the best but I can't tell you everything lets just say when she pushes me I have a lot of fun on the slide ride.
Best Slide Ride Pusher: Jacyln I have ridden the slide rides many times and I will say that the best push I got all year came from her. It was on the storm and she added a kick and it was great so that is why she gets the award for best slide ride pusher.
Well you know there are more than Lifeguards in the park. Usually, I am out on the rides so not everyone gets acknwoldged and I apologize because it takes more than Lifeguards to run a park it takes food service workers, and maintenance, group sales, admissions, rentals, guest services and probably some other groups that I am forgetting so I am going to take this space to recognize a few of the other workers.
The Hardest Working Guy in the Park: Jaret This guy works in Guest Services although sometimes he is doing birthdays. I don't think they ever let him go home. When I come in when the park first opens at 10 a.m. there he will be. When I leave in the afternoon he will be somewhere and even when I leave late at night on Tuesdays there he is and he will be right back smiling Wednesday morning. I am extremely impressed with him so he in my opinion is the hardest working guy in the park.
Best Maintenance Person: I will admit that I do not know all that many maintenance people and you don't read me brag about how clean the park is because quite frankly I have been disappointed especially when trash remains in the same place for days. The best maintenance person there ever was was Bill I think he is employed by the Lake County Parks Department now as I saw him the other day. When he was in maintenance at Deep River Waterpark I would challenge you to find any litter at all in the park. Unfortunately, he has moved on. I do realize the maintenance people try and that there is a whole lot more park these days.
Anyway the best maintenance person this year is Kyle because I always see him doing something even if it is collecting stray tubes. He doesn't care he does what it takes to keep the park clean plus he is a nice guy.
Now you would think that I could have learned more peoples names when they let me in at the season pass entrance because there are some extremely friendly people that work there. The one that I feel is the nicest is Shalanna hopefully I spelled her name right but she always greets me by name and has something nice to say like have a wateriffic day.
Every once in awhile Rebecca ends up at the fron. She seems to go to a different department every year. I do not know why I am so mean to her. I really shouldn't be but I end up giving her a hard time. I am trying to work on that. She is short and she is really nice and her picture hopefully finally you will see on this site.
Well then we go to the most coveted of all the awards but it is a competetion for females only because heaven knows if I chose which guy in the park had the best hair I would choose my own extremely beautiful hair. When you talk about Mark T you don't dare say anything bad about my hair.
First we go to the most improved hairstlye: Misty I told her I don't like short hair and I don't usually but on her it looks extremely good and I think it is very nice so she gets the most improved award.
For the best hair I am going with a 4 way tie this year although if you know me you know who I would choose if I had to break the tie. Here are the guards with the best hair in the park in alphabetical order
The Lovely Christina: Her hair is blonde my sister claimed that it must not be natural but then under very sad circumstances we saw the lovely Christina's sister and my sister changed her mind and agrees that must be her natural hair. It is so beautiful and as I so love it is usually in a ponytail. I long to run my fingers through this beautiful hair. I might even say it is more beautiful then mine.
Lauren: Her hair is brown and curly. Take this curly hair and put it in a ponytal and wow it is some good looking hair.
Michelle: Another blonde in the picture. Her hair I have seen in pigtails and while I really like pony tails I really love pig tails. It is some nice hair and she sure can wear it well even her ponytails are nice.
Sarah: Well I have had to get her to wear it in a ponytail because sometimes she has it looking just terrible. It is very long and nice. A picture of it you should get to see. When she braids it in a ponytail I'll admit that is some good hair.
Lifeguard with the best ponytail: Well everyone knows I like ponytails and on occassion there are lifeguards that really wear them well. Many people remember Mary's trademark ponytail it sure was something but this year I did not get to see it much but there is a lifeguard that I think as worn her hair in a ponytail every single day that I have seen her and since she said I could write anything I wanted about her and she promised that she would not get mad in the opinion of your host the lifeguard with the best ponytail is Sasha.
I really like Sasha's ponytail because when she walks it bobs up and down or sometimes it goes side to side. I just love watching it go when she walks and since she became a lead guard I get to see her walking through the park a whole lot more.
Female Lifeguard of the year: Well in one of the worst kept secrets of the year it is the one and only Kristen:) Unfortunately, I do not have a picture of her to share with you. If you go to the top you can read about her and this is a departure as normally the female lifeguard of the year is the lovely Christina but this year my sister and I agree that the title should go to Kristen:) When I see Kristen it is always a fabulous day. Not only is Kristen:) nice and extremely good looking but she has the voice of an ethereal angel. Congratulations Kristen:) on being the Y2K female lifeguard of the year.
In 1998 we published my sister's secrets finally revealed of who at the park she would like me to date if we did that this year Kristen:) would take the number one spot. She would be followed by Michelle and then I do not know who but I am sure she would put the lovely Christina at number 5 because she know I really dislike the number 5.
Male Lifeguard of the Year: If my sister got to pick she would choose Tim because that is her favorite lifeguard and he is a very nice guy and eventually although it may be awhile you will get to see his picture on this site. Since I get to decide I am going to see if you would have ever guessed this as I name Jon the male lifeguard of the year.
Why Jon? as he is my arch nemesis and he frightens my sister. I can't count on 2 hands how many female lifeguards told me how good looking Jon is and as if that isn't bad enough he has the audacity to claim that I was clumsy when I was slowly walking on the bridge from whitewater. I think he may be out to get me. I wish I had a better picture of him for you this year but at least it is what every female wants to see Jon with his shirt off. In order to get this picture I had to give him a cherry tootsie pop but hey it was Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop Tuesday.
Jon loves to complain but at the end of the year he really improved and he seemed to have nothing to complain about this so for that but most importantly he never felt he was to important to work in the sand and whenever you see Jon he always is having fun working and a waterpark should be a fun place and if the workers have fun so do the guests. I've seen Jon dance with guest on Tubin Tuesdays and the last Tubin Tuesday I saw him man was he working hard up there on the storm as he never just waved people to go ahead he would run back and forth if he had to so I say congratulation to Jon being name the Deep River Waterpark Y2K male lifeguard of the year.
To see a couple pictures of Jon