Oysterland Gate Security

Protecting the public while entertaining the visitor

Johnny Scaliani - Head of Gate Security

Welcome to our Gate Security page, you bums. What do ya want any way? Dis is a Gate Security page. What would da likes of you creeps want to know about my joint anyway? I stand around and make sure no one spots da shipments and cover dem if da fuzz show. WHAT do you really expect from ME? A fuzzy warm discription of how I protect des bums from da 'FEROICOUS' oysters!!!!!

Any of you viewin dis page better zip your lips and stay shoosh because if you don't, da consequences are, shall we say, harsh. Forget I said a word. Now what am I sapossed to do? Tell dem about my job? Fine then. Heres my schedule:

12:00 pm-5:00am Ship out de cargo and cover our boyz...um I mean ensure your safety
5:00am-7:00am Get cut form da boss and blow it on da good stuff
7:00am-4:00pm Sleep off da booze and hope to God dat da fuzz dont bust us
4:00pm-9:00pm Mail off threats and count protection money
9:00pm-12:00pm Special shift usually knockin over local joints and knocking off local yokels

See? My job is pretty boring. NOW GO AWAY!!!!

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Last updated April 26th, 1999