Did you hear about the Swedish policeman's test? They give the
candidate a square peg, and sit him in front of a bench with a round hole
and a square one.
If the candidate puts the peg in the square hole, they hire him for
his intelligence.
And if he puts it in the round hole, they hire him for his strength.
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Did you ever hear about the Norwegian and the Swede who were competing
to see who could reach furthest out of a window.
...Quite suddenly the Swede won.
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Did you ever hear about the Swede who brought his binoculars to
a funeral
where they were going to bury a distant relative of his...
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Did you ever hear about the Swede who was asked if he had lived
in Stockholm all his life.
..."Not yet," he answered.
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Did you ever hear about the Swedish doctor who was so afraid of
bacteria,
...that he cooked his ice-cubes before he put them in his drink.
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Did you ever hear about the Swede who hijacked a submarine...
...and asked for 100.000 Kronor in ransom and a parachute?
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Did you ever hear about the Swede who went ice-fishing...
...and returned home with 10lbs of ice?
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Did you hear about the swede who didn't know whether he would become
an aunt or an uncle?
- The reason was that he didn't know if his sister was having a boy
or a girl.
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Did you heard about the swedish abortion clinic?
- They have a one year waiting list.
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Did you hear about the swede who was asked how often he had sex
with hiswife?
- "Almost every day..... almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday..."
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Did you hear about the swedish lesbian who was so stupid that she
went to bed with a man?
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Did you hear about the swede who couldn't eat spaghetti?
- He didn'thave long enough dishes.
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Did you hear about the swede who always drove around with his handbrake
on?
- He wanted to be ready for an emergency.
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Did you hear about the swede who flunked his urine test?
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Did you hear about the swede who painted his house so incredibly
quickly...
...because he wanted to finish before he ran out of paint?
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Did you hear that NASA has found intelligent life in space?
...now they're desperately trying to find some in Sweden.....
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