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The following information is from the "Domestic Violence and Dating Handbook" that was created by the Metropolitan King County Council in 1996. Here I will list key behaviours and actions of a batterer. Feel free to print this up for yourself, your friends, and your family. Verbal Abuse- A batterer may say things that are cruel, demeaning, and hurtful. He may also curse or degrade the victim or the victim's accomplishments. Break or Hit Objects- A batterer may break household items, punch holes in walls, break down doors to scare the victim. Force- A batterer may use force during an argument. He may hold her down, physically keep her from leaving, push or shove her, or threaten to hurt her if she tries to leave. Roles- A batterer expects his victim to be submissive. A batterer may see women as inferior to men, stupid, unable to be a whole person without a man. A batterer may expect his victim to do menial tasks. Commitment- In some cases, a batterer may pressure his victim to commit to their relationship: quickly moving in together, getting engaged or getting married. Unrealistic- A batterer may expect his victim to meet all his needs, to take care of all his emotional and domestic needs. History- A batterer has been abusive to previous partners. |
Jealousy- A batterer may question a victim about who she talks to, accuse her of flirting and/ or having an affair, or become jealous of the time she spends with other people. Isolation- A batterer may isolation victim by severing her ties to any outside resources, support, friends and family. He may keep the victim from having access to a vehicle, to a job, or to a telephone. Controlling- A batterer may assume all control of the finances, or prevent her from coming and going as she wishes. Dual Personality- A batterer may appear to be Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde: he may be abusive, violent and moody and then suddenly become congenial. Cruelty to Animals- A batterer may kick, throw, hurt or kill the family pet. Blames Others- A batterer may blame the victim for anything that goes wrong. A batterer may also blame the victim for his feelings: "You're hurting me by not doing what I want" or "You control how I feel". Children- A batterer may expect children to perform beyond their capabilities and may punish them excessively. For example, a batterer may beat a 2-year-old for wetting it's diapers. Sex- A batterer may restrain his victim against her will during sex. He may act out fantasies in which his victim is helpless: forcing sex when the victim is asleep, demanding sex when she is tired or ill. |
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