Today has been the WORST day. It was going really well until 1:00. My ignorant Psychology professor gave me a zero on my paper because he said it wasn't relevant to the question. Whatever. And, I got a 58% on the stupid freaking test. I knew I did bad, but I didn't think I did that bad. He curved it and I ended up w/ a D, but still. And, what totally gets me is when we discussed what we said in our papers during class last friday, I summarized what one of my paragraphs said and he was like, "Oh, yes, I think that's one the most important parts of what we're talking about." And then he gave me a zero!!! Idiot. He doesn't know what he's talking about half the time anyway. I cannot stand him. He makes me so mad. I've been in a bad mood all afternoon because of that. Oh well. I guess it will have to be okay. I still have a B in the class, but I did have a really high A and now it's dropped so much. Ugh. I hate Psychology.
I'm tired. I'm halfway depressed today, and I'm so tired of feeling this way. I feel scared and anxious all the time anymore, and I don't know how to get beyond it. I've been trying really hard to fight feeling like this, but sometimes, it seems easier just to be sad or scared or whatever than to have to keep fighting it all the time. And, I have to go to my night class tonight. Yuck. I dread that, too. I'll be glad when finals are here and gone and I don't have to worry about this semester any more. I'm tired of all these classes. Especially Psychology and my night class.
Everything sucks sometimes. I know that's a terrible way to feel, but it's true. I wish I could meet a really nice guy. I know that wouldn't solve all my problems, but maybe I wouldn't feel so lonely then. I'm tired of being by myself. I just wish I could find someone that would understand me and truly like me for who I am. I know that sounds so cliche but it's what I've wanted for so long. And I'm seriously starting to doubt if it's ever gonna happen.
I talked to Laura last night on the phone. It was so good to talk to her! I miss her so much. I hope she goes to the Christmas party in the city for camp. I want to see her so much. She is such a sweetheart.
Well, that's all for now. I'm going to go to my room and listen to some depressing music and read my magazine. Woo. The thrills that make up my life.
Love, Luck, and Lollipops, Sara