right now...
sorry i haven't updated in a while, i'll get around to it sometime, i guess...
April 12th, 1998
*wearing* jeans, dark green a&f top
*listening* green day
*emotion* boredom, anger, restlesness, confusion...
*thinking* why can't people just realize that no matter what religion, we are all the same?
*insanity* i wonder what erik's doing now?
*cat* she's halfway to alaska at the moment...
*anger* people who keep bugging me on ICQ despite my busy message...
*love* that's none of your business... *ooh... must be interesting, huh?*
*wish* i wish someone would call...
*worry* is she really going to end up like Andrew?
April 13th, 1998
*wearing* dark blue a&f top, light blue jeans
*listening* no doubt
*emotion* contentment, confusion, love, relief...
*thinking* why do i have to conform to society's standards? i'm my own person, dammit!
*insanity* ya know, i think i might like apollo...
*cat* asleep in my lap... aww... how sweet... yes, alicia loves cats.
*anger* the pervert who's following me around... *ahem*
*love* with my luck, i probably like apollo again. god, i hope not!
*wish* i wish that toni had never told me what she did... *don't ask*
*worry* everything and anything... i worry that no one will like my haircut...
April 14th, 1998
*wearing* baby blue spaghetti strap shirt, jeans
*listening* titanic soundtrack
*emotion* degradation, vulnerability, uncertainty, cynical, ironically blithe
*thinking* okay, i've really got to figure out who i like or i think i'm going to go insane. and if i choose to like apollo again, people are just going to have to live with that!
*insanity* i wonder what you'd call a cat mixed with a dog? a dat or a cog? or something different?
*cat* asleep...
*anger* my piano teacher, who refuses to remember that i NEED a lesson soon or i'll forget how to play!
*love* luv the fact that apollo noticed my haircut without anyone telling him!
*wish* i wish desperately to get into boarding school and never go back to HKIS
*worry* i worry that some people try to shelter me too much, i just wish they'd let me go free... read *angel child*...
April 15th, 1998
*wearing* dark blue nike shirt, light blue jeans
*listening* prodigy
*emotion* pensive, quiet, thoughtful...
*thinking* school is totally pointless. there is not point to it. not because i don't like it but because we learned absolutely nothing today.
*insanity* what came first, the universe or the big bang?
*cat* gone... no idea where she is.
*anger* life sucks. why? why does it only suck for me?
*love* none of your business... that means something's up, huh?
*wish* wish that Jason would send me something on ICQ besides chain letters...
*worry* worry about erik... something's wrong and i can't figure it out...
April 16th, 1998
*wearing* white sleeveless top, adidas track pants
*listening* smashing pumpkins
*emotion* pretty damn pissed off... at everyone and everything.
*thinking* damn it, everyone tries to piss me off! what did i ever do to the world?
*insanity* i hear the voices in my head, whispering sweet lies of salvation to a cold moon.
*cat* who cares?
*anger* kyle, you suck
*love* nothing.
*wish* wish that assisted suicide weren't illegal...
*worry* worry that no one will ever love me in my entire life...
April 17th, 1998
*wearing* jeans, baby blue spaghetti strap shirt...
*listening* puff daddy
*emotion* malicious, betrayed, falsely accused...
*thinking* Ms. Polaszek is a b!tch... she should drop down to the inferno...
*insanity* i wonder..................
*cat* what cat?
*anger* the whole world, particularly anyone related to drama club, especially ms. polaszek.
*love* the idea of love, but one can not love an idea...
*wish* wish that i could never go back to school, never see any of the stupid, superficial people who don't know anything...
*worry that i won't ever get into interlochen...