Leaning back in the plastic molded seats at McDonalds, Lou, Amy, Stephanie, and I were enjoying a caloric fast-food lunch. School had only been a half-day long so we gathered in one of the few places teens gathered in Port Huron, Michigan. We proved to be a pretty rowdy bunch, but the restaurant seemed to be teeming with that type. While eating, we continuously joked about anything and everything, and especially at Lou's antics when it came to french fries and his girlfriend, Amy's nose. Needless to say, we were having a great time. Because we are all rather avid movie watchers, we were soon quoting our favorite flicks. Our subject became one of our all-time favorites, an endy and dark thriller called "The Crow" which starred the late Brandon Lee.
Recalling our favorite scenes, we quickly remembered a personal favorite. In this scene, Brandon Lee's character enters a pawn shop to confront one of the many murderer's who brutally killed him and his girlfriend. Before he avenges his death, he approaches the criminal and digs at him with his dark sense of humor. Quoting the movie, Lou and Stephanie were screeching with laughter:
"Jesus of Nazareth walks into an inn, hands the inkeeper
three nails, and says 'Can you put me up for the night?'"
We continued laughing and recalling the wry expression on Brandon Lee's face in that scene. So caught in the memory, we barely noticed the middle-aged, slightly overweight woman who seemingly came out of nowhere. She grimly approached us, with an offended and utterly disgusted look on her face. As it was, she did not watse a second to tell us why.
Literally getting into Stephanie's then-smiling face, she started in. "I do not appreciate your hideous references about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ," she stated. Our smiles faded and we looked at each other incredulously. "You teenagers need something to believe in," she continued. "Your ignorance is offensive and disgusting."
We were wide-eyed and our natural response was to defend ourselves. "I'm sorry ma'am," I said, "but we were not necessarily expressing our views." As a rather devout Lutheran myself, I felt she might realize this, and leave us to our lunch.
"Yeah," Stephanie chimed in. "You took things out of context." Catholic, Stephanie also took her active church life necessary.
The woman glared at us as though we had broken the ninth commandment by lying directly into her enraged face. She carried on and on until Stephanie and I grew sickened by the fact that she ignored us whenever we tried to tell her that we were regular and active church-goers. After we had apologized several more times for something that we did not feel apologetic about, the woman left in triumph. Gloating to her family and friends who had watched the entire affair with a Big Mac appetite, she took her seat.
Though we were taken aback and even shaking a bit, the four of us shared a nervous laughter. Luckily, Lou and Amy had not offered their opinions and had attempted to stay quiet. Their openly agnostic views would have surely sent this woman to the pearly gates of heaven. Because we, the troubled "youth of today," were loudly sharing a reflection of our culture, this woman had taken it upon herself to reprimand our actions and assume that we were all agnostic teens without a focus in life. She had told us what "low people" we were, not knowing how far she was from correct. That, in itself, was stunning and offensive. One minute we were enjoying quarter pounders and fries, and the next we had been deemed blasphemous teens who needed to go to church and repent. Something just was not right.
Things rapidly escalated again, though, when the woman's burly, rough-edged son noticed our uncomfortable laughter. Everything about him was menacing from his six-foot build, to his spiky hair, and his massive cowboy boots. He approached us with his fist clenched and a demanding question: "Are you laughing at my Momma?"
This was ridiculous, we realized. Once again, I spoke up in our defense. "No, we're laughing at the absurdity of this situation."
"Do y'all always rag on Christians?" he demanded. Only when we Christians act like this, I thought to myself.
But he, much like his "momma," carried on before anyone could protest. "If you're gonna be raggin' on Christians, why don't you rag on Niggers and Kikes too?" he challenged.
His phrasing and nonchalant attitude appalled me. The four of us were now seriously offended by this do-right-and-repent "Christian" family. Nothing he had uttered phased him though. He just continued to look at us imperiously, and say intelligent things like, "Well? Huh?"
I felt there was no use in fighting. Here I was, wearing a necklace that spelled out "JESUS" and a tee-shirt from a Lutheran youth event, and these people would not see that maybe they had overreacted. They did not know that I was our church council's youth represenative, or that my dad was the religion editor for the local newspaper. They felt that they were being Christian by defending Jesus from movie dialogue, while using racist and anti-Semetic terminology. They were also judging us, rather than leaving judgement up to the Lord. They were concieved in their mind set, and nothing could redeem us in their view. Why were they looking past forgiveness, a basic Christian belief? I wondered if maybe they had missed a couple of important Sunday morning sermons on tolerance and loving their neighbors.
Eventually after all of our forced, and basically insincere apologies, combined with our repeated claims of misinterpretation, the woman's son backed off and left us to our burgers. Lou and Amy easily laughed it off as we were leaving, but Stephanie and I were sincerely bothered. We felt attacked, but there was something that made the entire situation difficult to shake off. Later that day, we tried to pinpoint the reason this woman and her son had affected us in such a great manner.
As Christians, we came to the conclusion that it was just great to have strong beliefs in your faith. However, we realized that a majority of people will not be subjected to banter from "soul-saving" people. While we had rather calmly endured their accusations, not everyone would. Many, we realized, would be so bothered by this that it could turn them away from the idea of church. That is, actually, the mindset that turned Lou and Amy away from organized religion years ago. We hoped that our new friends from McDonalds might see this erentually. Also, we hoped that they would come to realize that Christians come in different denominations, temperments, and looks -- no matter how stereotypically "teenager-esque" they might have been. After the entire affair, we realized most of all, that Christianity is a practice which requires tolerance. It has always been difficult to avoid judgement, but that is the goal of open minded Christians: loving their neighbor as they would love themselves.
Originally Penned: September 11, 1997