strange times

you hurt me in a million ways --
under you, i wither, day by day.
i am the one with no control
of emotions that ache, inside my soul.
i torture myself with a love undefined --
as your spirit and essence haunt my mind.
time stills, so wordless, unlike before;
but time only makes my wounds hurt more.
we can't talk, we can't smile, cannot react
and i want it all to be taken back.
i do this to myself as i ache for the role
of he who you are; he who makes me whole.
i speak of our love, but just to myself.
here, i can't cross the line, and it puts me in hell.
words i could not even project towards you
for i know that i'd still, wither under you.
it's more than a need, more than an ache
but i pray that you never saw me as a mistake.
nothing should change in the way that we feel;
but these are just my feelings - nothing is real.
so many levels, reduced into one,
where we can smile or joke or try to have fun.
but fun never included my life being shit
and if this is a game, i'd just like to quit.
for i am the weakest, and all through this week,
a girl once so loud can now scarcely speak.
reduced just to what i've made myself be;
always still wishing, you'll open up to me.
no one can know that i've been through such stuff
and no one can describe my feeling --
it's love.

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