Within these walls, lie the boundary of my sanity...or insanity...*EG*
(written ???)
I see him in my dreams
that is the only time he can come to me
He holds me in his arms
to keep me close and safe
He follows wherever I go
quite protective, it is easy to see
At times I need a momment to myself
he is the shadow where there is no light
And when I run in fear
he is the stalker in the night
If I should stumble to the ground
he will find me and hold me close again
When I cry out in pain
he is there, to end my suffering
He says he loves me to death
I can't wait to open my eyes
(written ???)
shadows in the night
wanderers take flight
an echo down the hall
changing as it falls
whispers in your head
demons beneath your bed
listening as you sigh
laughing as you cry
can you free yourself of this pain
can you start to live again
lift your spirits high
the battle ends tonight
you watch you back this time
knowing who must die
close you eyes and believe
nothing is as it seems
holding strong to this faith
you will walk another day
life is but an illusion
which mingles with the past
see the truth in the lies
which open to you at last
the sword in air
the scream doth fall
the watchers crumble
to hell with them all
life is yours
strong at last
the demons are dead
along with your past
(written 8-31-98)
a lone wolf howls in the night
tormented souls search for the light
a childs cry echo's in your head
you got lost on the path
now you know where it lead
you try to escape
you scream...no one hears
only a distant memory
is the faith you held so dear
you want to cry
to release the pain
no tears will come
too many have fallen...emptiness now reigns
with fearful eyes
and trembling hands
you search for an exit
in a room with no end
once upon a time
you had strength, you could smile
now your demons have drained you
and laugh all the while
there is no light to draw you near
no longer one of the many
now not just lonliness you fear
the walls you have built
raise higher than dreams
of which once you had plenty
but are now beyond your means
a tormented sigh escapes your lips
so tired of standing alone
you crumble
then sit
every wrong done to you
plays in your mind
every pain you have caused
haunts you this time
even your shadow
snickers at your disgrace
you were never the winner
in any race
Dispair weighs you heavily
you struggle to breathe
you have saught and you have hungered
never filling the need
too tired now to fight
too weak now, you fall
your misery has beaten you
the demons have taken all
before your eyes close
before your final breath
before your heartbeat
ceases in you chest
trying to form words
your brows come together
as you struggle to be heard
finally you are able
only to whisper at last
"I only wanted to be loved,
was it to much to ask?
As for the paths I have chosen,
I was easily misguided and weak
What strength I ever had
Would be riped from me you see
All I ever wanted
Was love, a family
something to free me
A river of tears
Have run from these eyes
Sad thoughts, even madness
invaded my nights
No one to run to
or cling to in my dispair
No one to hold me
to comfort, to care
How many times
Have I raised my voice to say,
See me, hear me, I beg of you
I pray
no more struggle
only anger inside
I am frustrated
I am lonely
I am dying inside
No more strength
too tired from lonley days,
and lonlier nights
Can't heal the wound
Can't stop the pain
Meaningless to go on
To stop...and turn the page
I only ever wanted to be loved
Why was this to much to ask?"
your eyes close
you breathe your final breathe
your heart stops
alone, even in death