the choice was pretty funny actually, she chose a 23 year old male from israel who just got to america and i'm sure he's nice but it's just such a funny thing because a bunch of years ago i had an online thing and it was with somebody who matched those three things too hahaha life is funny.

but anyways. it's not that i have doubts that the person in question will be nice, i'm sure he will be, but i can't stop thinking about some things like 'oh ghod i'll have to start wearing a t-shirt when i sleep and get dressed in the bathroom after i shower' and i don't think i'll be snuggling up in underwear, bra and little mermaid blanket on the couch watching bad talkshows anymore and i'll have no one i know well and trust to ask if i look like vomit on the street when i'm getting ready to go out and now the apartement isn't a hangout anymore where gene would come by and me and him and aziza would lounge about for hours zapping around the tv and i wonder if aziza will have the time to come by much and i wonder if gene will come by much at all and if it will be anything more than just to pick me up as we go somewhere else and this must mean the end of gene entertaining me with a cd player and a scarf in the livingroom and will things be quiet and will i get to watch all the shows i want to watch on the telly though on the other hand even if i will i'll probably have to watch them all by myself and what will that be like and what if the guy brings over a lot of friends all the time and i'll sit in my room and what if it's terrible and i can't move out because i have no money and nowhere to go and he has a sublease til dec 31 and how about the way it's just me in an apartement in a town in a school in a country in a language where i really am alone and i'm just a little bit scared okay and if i think too much on this my eyes want to cry and i feel like 5.