I spent the better part of June and July in Boston. I needed the break in a new city away from everything I knew and someplace to clear my head. The stay in Boston was good for me, and I actually returned for New Years of that following year but that’s another story.
When I arrived back to Dallas to begin life on my own little did I know that I was not as strong or as ready as I thought I was. I had to try to start making friends again. My first choice was the bar scene. I had always felt safe in that environment. I wasn’t a heavy drinker, but was known to have a good time every now and then. Well needless to say things were great at first, weekends turned into long weekends, which turned into weekdays. I see trouble ahead!
I was going to the bar every night and could easily average between $50 and $100 dollars a night. Well, at six days out of seven, I had to rest sometime; I was spending $350 to $600 dollars a week on alcohol. I had lots of friends, as long as I was buying! I had even more friends when I brought along a joint or two for the evening, which was most evenings. Somehow I never even considered I was paying for the weed too! So much for friends! I can’t blame them any more than I can blame myself.
I was lost, lonely, and confused. I started making the rounds with several one-night stands, trying to fill a void. All of the different men meant nothing to me, it was just sex. I had learned a long time ago that sex without real love means nothing, I wasn’t proven wrong! People liked me; sure they did, as long as I was doing something for them. I met one person in particular, I have to be fair and say that I don’t think his intention from the start was to use me, but I think I made it easy for him to figure out that he could get what he wanted. We moved in together and I finally thought I would be able to settle down. I of course at the time didn’t know that my new partner was not the settling down type. He enjoyed the freedoms, furnished by me, of food, clothing, a roof over his head and even a car for him to drive. There was only one slight problem I was running out of money. He had a job, but kept all of his money to himself. I was getting to the point that I was having a hard time even buying food for the cat’s much less two humans. There were times that he would go out and get fast food because there was no food in the house, funny although I had done so much for him, when hew went out he never offered to bring me anything to eat. He’d come back to the apartment and eat right in front of me. Something was very wrong with this picture!
We both had been on a bowling league and I had gotten to know a lot of new people socially. What I didn’t know at the time was that there was someone else on the league that I would soon become fast friends, and from that friendship I would finally start to find my way out of the grave that I had dug for myself.
