WED 27 MAY 98

In the evening of the 27th of May I was checking for e-mail when  to my surprise, I had mail from someone who introduced herself as Coral. She was to be in Melbourne the next day and asked if I was interested in meeting. Well my heat started racing, what would I do, what should I do? She went to great lengths to explain who she was. I decided that as she had gone to this trouble to contact me, the least I could do was accept.  The opportunity was there as I work in the city and could easily meet her after work although I would not be able to catch my usual train and would have to tell my wife that I would be home later than usual. I sent a reply to accept although I would only have an hour or so, and arranged that I would call Tony the next day to confirm the meeting.

After a phone call during the day we decided to meet at his hotel about 5.00pm and he suggested that I should ring again about 4.30pm once he had checked in to know which room to go to.  I was assured that Coral would meet me, so the rest of the day I was feeling a little apprehensive yet on the other hand excited about the opportunity to meet another T*. Coming directly from work and the lack of time did not allow for me to be dressed appropriately so male attire had to do, but I did have some photos with me, including some that I had only had printed that day, so couldn't wait to share them.

I went to the hotel directly after work so it was a little rushed for both of us as she had only just arrived herself having checked in as Tony, and I had a train to catch about an hour later. Nevertheless she made an effort and Coral greeted me at the door when I arrived at her hotel room. Not particularly passable I guess, but it may have been due to the circumstances, however it was a well dressed mature lady with whom I had a pleasant chat sharing some of our experiences. I showed her my photos and felt quite comfortable discussing gender issues with her. It was not nearly long enough. We were both relaxed and chatted about many things which go towards making us the way we are. Coral had a glass or two of wine and I was a good girl, having only some bottled water!
 

WED 19 AUG 98

On this day I and came out in the open to my colleague at work. He is the first friend or acquaintance that I have confided with other than my wife so I guess it is a milestone in my life! The timing was right and it was quite a release for me, someone with whom I believe I am able to share my innermost thoughts and feelings face to face.

I have known him for many years although we have been working together a little over two. He is Gay and we were chatting about him, his life, and upbringing as he recently turned 50, and has been in a relationship for about 20 years. I decided the time was right to spill my beans! I decided it would be best to have some photos so I just told him I had some news about me which I would talk about at an appropriate time. It was just before I left to go home so left it at that. I am sure that had him intrigued!

Well the next morning I said little just handing him the photos. He was speechless slowly looking at the photos then back at me! He was truly amazed and fascinated by my appearance and what I later told him! 'Said I scrubbed up alright' It was just prior to the weekend so it gave him plenty to think about. He had printed out the Web pages to show his partner from whom I received a supportive and encouraging phone call the next day.

  I told him of my Web Site and gave him the URL. I told him I would be happy to talk further on anything he wanted to know, which we have since done. It felt good as he was genuinely interested!
 

SAT 31 OCT 98

Yesterday I had a close shave last, having arrived back at 6am from a few days on business in Western Australia I expected to have the whole day to myself. I had a few hours sleep and although tired decided it was a good opportunity to enjoy being myself so I got up after everyone had gone, cleaned myself up, did my hair and make-up, and got dressed. I decided on a white shirt, black skirt with beige stockings and a new pair of Sandler tan sandals with a chunky 5cm heel. A fawn vest completed the outfit. I was pleased with the result and looking forward to potting around for the afternoon until the phone rang and my son said he was coming home from school for lunch! **panic** Well I had about 15 minutes to change, remove the make-up and hide all the evidence! Checking I had removed all traces of makeup and no markes from bra straps or earings were visible I greeted him at the door. All for a 20 minute lunch break at home! Did that ruin my day!...but I dared not make it obvious and even offered him a lift back to school!
 

FRI 06 NOV 98

There have been times when I have felt a little down, unable to express my true feelings and just be me. I feel uncomfortable to even bring up the subject with my wife lately and have felt very uneasy to suggest to her that I would like to dress whilst she is present. It’s not that she feels any different about the situation, just that when I last suggested I might get changed while she was about to go out to do some shopping. ‘I should have guessed’ was her only comment. It was said in such a condescending manner that hurt me and made me feel uncomfortable and full of guilt. I have since avoided further confrontation only dressing while I have had the house to myself which is not often unfortunately and this causes me much anxiety. Unfortunately loneliness is often associated with the need for acceptance unless one is fortunate to have an understanding partner and friends.
 

MON 16 NOV 98

Today I received a lovely e-mail. It was from Jessica Smith inviting me to join a  the Oz T-Star Ring and a list of Melbourne girls, with an intention to arrange friendly get togethers for local girls. Many are already known to me (though not yet in person) so it's like meeting up with a bunch of friends by way of a mailing list and a Webring. Some of them also belong to the Victorian Seahorse group. I was asked to a BBQ but I remained rather noncommittal not sure what I could do, for as much as I wanted to attend, being on a Sunday, with the whole family home, how could I go out en femme and then in broad daylight! Anyway, then the need to leave for Perth came up and I had an excuse however feeble. Trouble is I do want to be involved more with others and I don't want to let them down coming up with excuses whenever I am invited! It's something I have to work on.
 

TUE 15 DEC 98

The 'Today' program on Channel 9, had a segment on crossdressing this morning.  As I watched the story over a cup of coffee my wife also took note but said nothing. I chose to remain nonplus rather than create any uneasyness as my mother in law was also present though not  aware of what was on TV. I made a point not to show more than a glancing interest as much as I wanted to sit there and take it all in! It was a good portrayal of ordinary guys from all walks of life displaying their femininity and needs to crossdress.

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