This page is for you to post your story, whether it is about you coming out as a bisexual, gay, or lesbian person; or if it is about you transitioning.
Directions: If you would like to post a story all you have to do is e-mail me the story. I will read over it and make sure it is proper material for this page. Then I will copy and paste it to this page. Also, in the e-mail somewhere tell me if you want me to post it. I tend to get e-mails where some don't want me to post it but don't tell me. Thanks! -Sean
Entry 1 of 13
Thank you Andy for posting your story!
Long Island,N.Y. is where my story begins. I was born in 1964 and adopted in
infancy I never knew my biological mother and have always been curious to
know if she was a tomboy. This and other questions plagued me as I
entered my teens. I knew I was different since I was four and five yrs old .
I was always into trouble , and up to no good even at this innocent ,sweet
tender ages of five ,six, up to twelve yrs. Most of my friends were boys
in the neighborhood and I cant count the number of times my father took
bicycles away from me for going to the SUMPS or sewer drainage ditches and
lighting fires with these boy friends . My father made wine in the cellar
and of course it was off limits to the kids, but being a natural for
mischief I had to try out one of the barrels to taste the fruit of the vine
and went to school very intoxicated that morning. The list goes on and it
also includes fighting ,cursing like a sailor , and it seemed that I was
always getting hit for everything by my father. The problem was that the more
I was becoming like a boy and less of daddy's little girl, the more often I
was getting hit and harder. My father was trying to crush ''ME'', and change
my personality and he knew that I was never going to be the little girl he
had envisioned. My mother was and still is very passive and lets my father
run the show. Early on I had profound resentment towards him and the same
with him to me. During the mid-seventies and entering into Jr. HIGH
I tried to conform to both my parents' wishes and that of school peers by
wearing female clothing and makeup and go after guys for dates[YEAH,
RIGHT!!!!!] My parents even took me to a shrink to hopefully keep the
feminine streak going permanently. [ i was so badddd!!!!!!!] Needless to say
this phase fizzled and I was dressing as a boy [underwear and asock in it
then and all the other male attire all seasons ] and I began to aquire a lot
of nicknames, some of which were good and some were mean and dirty....such as
''spike'',[because sometimes I wore leather with studs ] , dickless,no
meat,lesbo,dyke ,bulldyke, Mike without abike to name afew. I was with
very few friends and endured bathroom taunts in the womens restroom. My only
relief was softball after school and I drew and painted in art class which I
have done since age three. I had to be put into CATHOLIC H.S. by my parents'
assessment of my trying to commit suicide numerous times during junior high
and in catholic school I had wear those ugly salt-n-peppa jobs they called a
uniform. I STILL WORE mens underwear under the skirt and this time my gender
conflict was kept to myself.all through H.S.. At night ,however I would go to
the GAY/LESBIAN bars and meet people whom I thought were like myself but when
I WOULD TELL whoever it was I was trying to pick up ,that I felt like I
should have been a man the woman would just stare at me like I had three
heads. Finally, a gay male friend told me I was a transsexual. A transsexual?
What the hell was this guy saying to me? He told me to go to the library and
check out the books on transsexualism. I did the very next day in the
morning and I found only two ,one of which was a medical book with a lot of
terminology and the other an autobiogaphy of an f-to m. After absorbing all
the reading I cried in my pillow but not because I was sad but out of relief
that there was others like me and there was hope for me.
After H.S. ended everyone of my peers knew what colleges or careers
they were going for I was kicked out of the house after graduation. For a
present from my father was a couple a hundred bucks and a lecture from them
on how I had embarrassed the family long enough and my backpak was packed and
at almost midnight I was on the train headed for New York City. It was
raining when I got there from the train and without a clue as to where to go
I called the gay hotline and told them what had happened to me and I hailed
a cab to this lesbian bar[ I wanted to get f-----d up drunk] and I stayed
for almost three hours hoping I could get picked up , but I was young and
they knew it. I left and made my way back to the train station on foot and
buzzed and I planned to kill myself this time and I was angry. People on the
streets were crazy and I was scared. People were not people at this time of
the morning but animals. I had to get off the streets or I would be like them
in time. Imade it to the train terminal and ran for the line heading back to
Long Island but my sprint for the line was cut short as I ran into this woman
and knocked her down. I helped her to her feet and apologized , She asked me
what was I running from and I asked her if she wanted a drink.She said
simply ''COFFEE''. ''whereat?'' I asked She said her place in Queens. Well,
she and me have been together now for seventeen yrs. and married. I feel
someone up there was watching out for me and had aplan for me and it is
still unfolding. There is always hope and dreams do come true!!!!
-THE END
-ANDY
Entry 2 of 13
Thanks Dakota for submitting your story!
When I was very young, I felt like what people
called a "tomboy". I always had neighborhood friends
who were boys, always got dirty, played with boys'
toys, etc. My family was pretty forgiving up to a
certain age because it seemed to them like "just a
phase".
Then, there was a shift when I went from
elementary to middle school. All of a sudden, girls
were dressing "girly", putting on lipstick, fingernail
polish, shaving their legs, etc. I was slow to change
to this, though I tried it because I figured I was
supposed to. But I hated it, and by high school, I
stopped doing it. But I dressed and kept my hair on
the feminine side of unisex just so I wouldn't get any
flak from anyone. Had I been raised by a more
flexible parent (my mom raised me after she divorced
my dad when I was 6; he saw me twice a month from that
time until I went to college, but my mom was primarily
who raised me), I might have been able to stand up to
criticism and just done what I wanted to. But my mom
had always raised me to be quiet, don't ask questions,
do what you're told, etc. Even though I had this
feeling since I was very young that I wish I had been
born male, I didn't yet know what a transsexual was.
Anyway, for a year and seven months, I had a
boyfriend. He was a great guy, but now, and even
then, I wish we could've just been friends. I wish I
had been male because I think I would still have him
as a best friend now. But we went out and there came
this point where I just didn't mean it when I told him
I loved him. I dumped him and couldn't give him a
reason. It hurt him a lot and it hurt me that I
couldn't explain myself. But I couldn't even explain
myself to MYSELF! Needless to say, he took it really
hard and I haven't seen him since graduation (June,
1998).
A few months later, I was in a Gay and Lesbian
chat room and I was whining to everyone there that I
didn't feel like them, and that I felt like a man
trapped in a woman's body. That's the only way I knew
to describe it, taking it from various talk shows I
had seen. Then, one of the moderators suggested I go
to this place on AOL called ON Q. I went and it was
an assembly of informational articles, lists of
websites and physicians, and chatrooms all relating to
any sexual minority you could ever imagine. So, I
found out the meaning of "Transgender" and
"Transsexual" here. When I found it, I knew right
away, "That's what I am!" I felt relieved! I made
some friends too in the TG/TS chatroom. It was great!
That summer (1998) I spent coming to grips with
the fact that it was possible for me to be attracted
to women and for them to be attracted to me. I also
struggled with coming out to my parents. The first
person I told when I found out that I am TG was my
friend Cleo, my only friend from high school. She was
surprised, but accepted it right from the get-go. I
became really attracted to her after that. We had a
fight that summer after we had both admitted that we
liked each other. She had a boyfriend and she was
getting sick of me telling her about myself and my
problems being TG. But she was the only person I
could talk to at the time about. My parents knew my
thoughts on it, but weren't taking it seriously. That
fall, however, her boyfriend dumped her, and I asked
her out. It was great to finally discover that, yes,
I am attracted to women. But it really sucked that we
hid everything from everyone accept close friends.
Our hiding got in the way when we would come home from
school on breaks and be in our parents' houses, trying
to sneak around. We broke up after 4 months. Now
we're "friends with benefits" if you know what I mean.
I really love her, and she loves me, but there are
things between us that will never let us be together
for a long time.
My dad is now coping well, calling me Dakota and
not my old name. My mom likes to ignore the issue and
refuses to call me Dakota because "it's silly". But
she is letting me use her insurance to go to sessions
at a clinic that will eventually lead to me getting a
recommendation for hormone therapy. My parents and
stepmom are the only ones in the family who know about
it at this point. After high school, I decided I
didn't want to be called by my old name at school, so
I told everybody at college (including professors) to
call me Dakota. My friends call me that, and just
recently (after my first boy haircut), I told them all
to start using the correct pronouns around me. They
are being really good about it. I have an MTF friend
on campus who has been a real advocate for rights for
TG/TS individuals and has been really cool to me. She
was the one who gave me the website for you page,
Sean. I also have a really good friend, Gene (another
FTM) who has helped my out very much and been a great
mentor to me since I met him this year. So, that's my
story, and I'm sticking to it. Thanks everybody. And
thanks to you, Sean! Keep it up, man!
Entry 3 of 13
Thanks Bob for sending in your story!
I was born in 1960! (no oldster jokes, please) I grew up in North Van.
B.C. Canada, in what at that time was a newly developed upper middle class
neighbourhood. We had the only house at the top of the development, and had
access to the woods and bush surounding us. What a great place to be a kid!
I knew ever since I could form a memory, that I was a boy. My problem was
that my parents, and sister and brother never fiqured it out. I grew up
playing only with my brother and our gang of guys. I was a member of the
gang, as much as any other of the guys. I used to love to ride my bike, play
war, and generally cause as much trouble as I could. When I say ride my
bike, I don't mean around the block. My brother and I would ride 20 to 30
miles a day! More on weekends. We went everywhere together. Since we were so
close in age, we were inseperable. I was one year and a bit older.
We would pay 25 cents, and get a bus pass on the weekends, and sneak on
the ferries, to ride to Vancouver Island. Sometimes we'd ride to the
Canada/US border and sneak across into Blaine Washington. We'd do stuff like
build bolt bombs, and chuck them off our sundeck to the street below. We
were lucky that no one was ever hit by the shrapnel! We used to play war
endlessly, my favorite weapon was my Thompson sub-machine gun, I kept it for
years. We'd reroute traffic down oneway streets, jump off a 10 ft fence
infront of the main road and pretend to get hurt, just to stop traffic, then
we'd get up and run away howling with laughter.
I never shied away from a fight. I used to be very protective of my
younger brother, and would beat the crap out of anyone that bugged either
one of us, and I would win! I was (and still am) extreamly strong, and
muscular considering my @#$%$%^& female body. We bombed our neighbours house
with so many ripe tomatoes, that his green house ended up looking as though
it was painted red! (we got caught on that one, and ended up washing his
whole house down). As you can see, I had a great boys life when I was
younger.
As I grew into my teens, shit started to happen. I was involved in the sea
cadets with my brother, and soon he lost interest. I kept on going cause I
loved it. He grew further and further away from me, the more I developed
into the body of a girl.(He now treats all women like shit,and sometimes I
wonder if he wasn't as dissapointed as I was that I was not a guy). I hated
it. Instead of remaining close, we started to fight, verbally at first, then
physically. I was always used to winning, but my body let me down, cause I
never developed the muscles and chest I was supposed to have.
I had an older sister, and never was close to her, because she was a
blonde feminine bombshell of a girl. I never would be anything like her, and
it drove my parents crazy. My dad and I would fight, and it was awful, we
would be physically trying to kill each other. My mom and I got along 99% of
the time. I stood up for her, and she for me, but she always wished I would
be more feminine too.
I had to leave home when I was 18, I couldn't take it anylonger. I moved
out on my own, and worked part time as a paramedic, deck hand, department of
highways dispatcher, framer, you name it. I never had any real relationships
with guys, yet I was attracted to them. I knew that I wasn't lesbian, but I
couldn't figure out what was going on with me, so chose just to stay the way
I was (masculine female) and if someone chose to fall in love with me, that
was their problem. Or, so I thought.
One day, a guy that I worked on ambulance with, went for a walk with me,
we talked and laughed, and I slowly let down my guard, and started to fall
in love with him, and he with me. Problem was, he was married, with kids!
Maybe that made it safer, I don't know, but before you know it we were
serious, and I was pregnant! He left his family for me for a short while,
but found it too hard, and went back. I have to admit that at the time I was
upset, but after I had a chance to think about it, realized that I didn't
really need anyone else, as had been doing fine on my own for 5 years before
him. I had to quit my job with the ambulance, cause try lifting a stretcher
when you've got a gut the size of a barrel.
I had a beautiful daughter, and she's now 16. I love her very much. I
started my training to become a registered nurse, when she was 5 months old,
and graduated when she was 2 1/2. I have worked full time, ever since. I
work in emergency, and I love it there. I need the excitement, and the
challenge. I bought a small farm, and have sheep, pigs, chickens and a goat.
It's another full time job. I also recently lifted my house up and built a
story underneath, to open a B&B in the future. I've accomplished alot, but
now it's time to do what should have been done sooner. I'm going to
transition to male, ASAP! I've had my first meeting with the gender clinic,
and can't wait to proceed. My daughter is ok with this,(she helps me pick
out cool guy clothes!) as well as my sister(whom I've grown very close to).
My brother has disowned me, (No loss!), and I'm not telling my dad or mom
cause dad's 86 years old and couldn't understand if he wanted to, and mom's
had a stroke, and has no understanding of language left.
Entry 4 of 13
Thanks Ruth for sending in your story!
My name is Ruth. I'm a female, fifteen going on thirty, born in 1984. I was born into a pretty liberal family. When I was three, my family moved from liberal California to Bible-Belt Missouri.
I had always figured I was a really different kid. One of the first things I noticed was that all the other girls I played with liked the color red, and I liked the color blue (a tradional guys' color, I
guess). I was a tomboy, playing in the mud, racing around the yard, playing with Barbies (FBI and Secret Agent Barbies with their hair cut off, of course). I also thought that I thought more than I
should...I've been a worrier ever since birth.
So I entered this lame little hick school around the time I was five. I realized that I wasn't like all the other girls. I didn't like girlie stuff...of course, I occasionally wore dresses and played with
makeup. But I never chased boys, and I had this WEIRD obsession with the female form. I'd always thought girls were way prettier than guys. Anyway, I was such an introvert that I never really
made any close friends. I'd just keep to myself, most of the time. I also got put in the "gifted" class in 2nd grade, which kind of separated me more from the kids than before.
Enter fifth grade: My outlandish ideas (which included liking older actors and wearing boys' clothing) got me into trouble...people started making fun of me and the like, especially girls. Girls
thought I was stupid because I acted like a boy, boys thought I was stupid because I acted like them. But I loved my teacher and my class, and school was pretty good that year besides the people being
assholes. Also, I met my best friend Kim, who's 14 years older than me and works with my mom. She influenced me a lot...she's very cool.
So I enter middle school. Sixth grade was alright, but it marked a decline for me. It showed how cruel people could be once they started cliques. I never fit into one...I was just me. people
occasionally asked if I was male or female because I had cut my hair short at the end of fifth grade. I always told them the truth, and sometimes got peeved, but thought that they were mostly ridiculous
people with nothing else to do. It was an okay year, and I finally realized that my true love was sketching (which is a good thing!).
By seventh grade, my life was kind of a mess. I was convinced I was a gay male trapped in a female's body. I wore all boys' clothing and shaved my head very close. My teachers were all rejects from
Hell, either old and cranky or young and inexperienced. I didn't make honor roll the first quarter (because my home ec teacher gave me a C-, which I didn't deserve...was utterly huimilated in the
gifted class), and some of my grades sucked, especially Pre-Algebra, which I know nothing about. People were cruel started calling me "faggot" and asking more often if I was a boy or a girl. I got
chicken pox, too...that really sucked, cos I missed 2 weeks of school at the end and some of my grades went down bad. Finally, school ended and rest was near. But over the summer I received a letter
from one of my best friends, Marissa, asking if I was gay. I wasn't offended, but kind of shocked...I didn't think I was a lesbian...just because I wore baggy clothes and short hair didn't mean I was a
lesbian...things like that.
Entering Junior High was a relief. It was a much better environment...people generally left me alone. I kind of realized that I probably wasn't a man trapped inside a woman's body. I realized that I
kind of liked being a girl...even though things like menstruation and bras pissed me off a lot :) I still wore my hair short (though not buzzed) and boys' clothing. But people kind of just left me alone
and I wasn't known as the she-male anymore.
Over the summer between eighth and ninth grades, my good friend Marissa, who had written me that letter before, confessed that she was a lesbian. I was really happy for her...I kind of suspected
anyway. That's when I began to think about what I was...was I gay, or straight, or bi? I had always thought girls were gorgeous, but I kind of liked guys too. I never really had a crush on a real
person, per se...mostly actors, musicians, characters and the like. The people around here weren't worth crushing on. But I still thought a lot about it. Mid-ninth grade, in February or so, I decided
I was bisexual.
It took a load off my shoulders. I confessed to my best friend Kim, then Marissa, and then my sister. My sister told me that she was a bisexual, too, last year. Now, on the internet, I always tell
the truth about my sexuality to people who ask. Although I haven't been that daring in real life, most people on the net have been really great about it. And just last month I let my mom know that I
don't just like guys. My mom was very cool about it, and I'm glad. All in all, I think it turned out pretty good. I'm much happier realizing what I am than when I didn't know.
So there's my pathetic, happy ending novel, Sean :)
Entry 5 of 13
Thanks Tayna for posting your story.
My name is "Tanya". I wasn't born with that name , of
course. I was 4 or 5 when I first noticed that I felt
like a female. I used to tell mom that I was the girl
pictured in a cereal box at the time. I didn't know I
was transgendered, of course. Except for the fact I
felt more feminine,and, that at age 11, I fell in love
for BOTH my friend and his girlfriend at the time, (I
knew I wasn't gay, since I liked his gf, but I didnt
know the word bisexual existed) everything in my life
went normally, until I was 18. I fell in love with
many girls I met during my teenager days. It was when
I was 18, that I boarded a flight, an Eastern Airlines
Boeing 727 jet, that I found out I was bisexual. Not
only had I gone from one city to the other at the end
of the day, but I felt my life had also gone from one
extreme to the other. For the next 7 years after that,
I was happy inside of myself to know that I could
think of myself as a girl, and yet have a great
passion for them at the same time. I fell in love with
several guys during this period too.
Sadly, however, I had to deal with serious internal
issues, as for me it wasn't easy to accept the fact I
liked guys too, and I had to fight a battle with a
mild depression from 1994 up to 1998. But something
magical happened in the Christmas of 1997, when I came
out to the closest women in my family, my sister and
my mom.They accept me the way I am, they support me
and they love me. I still need to confront the guys in
the family, because it is harder to talk to guys and
tell them that I am basically a girl inside.
I have tought of the opportunity to change myself to a
woman, and realize myself as who I am for real. I have
spoken to my doctor of the possibility of transition
surgery, but due to the fact I have Diabetes, my
chances are slimmer than those of other people. I know
that, forensically speaking , if I go on to be the
girl I am, I will still be bisexual, none of that
would change, I would still love men and women the
same. But, at least my body would agree with my mind.
To all those people there, who are going thru those
self doubt moments likethe ones I have gone thru, be
tough. Enjoy being who you are, and always know that,
there is always hope, there is people like you and me
out there, and that, what we feel we are in our minds
isn't what counts, bbut the kind of PERSON we are is.
Entry 6 of 13
Thanks Lower Wolf for posting your story.
I never had to come out to my parents, I guess I was lucky in that way.
Almost as soon as I could think and speak for myself it was pretty obvious
to anyone around me that I wanted to be a boy, I'm glad I never hid it. I
don't even see it as brave of me to be so open about it, I *knew* that I
should have been male and it wasn't my fault I was born into the wrong sex.
That's how I saw it then anyway, I didn't care too much about what other
people thought of me.
A lot of my family probably just saw it as a harmless 'tomboy' thing, but I
know it was more serious than that. Tomboys are just girls like like to do
boy things, they're quite happy with being female. Not me, I *hated* it, I
couldn't stand to look at myself naked as it would remind me. I wouldn't let
my parents call me by my name, my Dad always had a nickname for me anyway. I
had my hair as short as my parents would let me, which because shorter as I
got older. And I insisted on wearing clothes from 'boys' sections of shops.
When I was possibly around 7 years old I refused to wear underwear, I didn't
want anything meant for girls. As they thought I should be wearing underwear
my parents gave in and bought me boys pants instead, sometimes I even wore
boxer shorts but not a lot as I found them uncomfortable.
I would never wear a skirt or dress, whenever I was made to (which wasn't
much and only when I was really young) I felt *wrong* in it. When I was just
a toddler and still had long hair, I remember my Mum forcing me to wear a
dress for a photo, I hated it even then. That photo is in our lounge, I'm
smiling in it but it's a fake smile, I wasn't happy. In infant school
sometimes my Mum would walk me to school wearing trousers and I would change
into a skirt in the toilets whenI got there, I remember being incredibly
upset about having to put it on one morning and Mum got very angry and threw
it into the toilet. It was wet then so I had to wear my trousers that day,
thing is my Mum told the teacher that *I* had thrown my skirt in the toilet
so my teacher was pretty mean to me for the rest of the day. That upset me,
that my Mum blamed me for something I didn't do, it made me respect adults
less seeing as they're always telling you to tell the truth. From 2nd year
in Junior school, I wore trousers instead of a skirt, no other girls did but
no teachers tried to stop me. Then later I wore a jumper instead of a
cardigan, only a small handfull of girls did this. The trousers weren't
proper boys school trousers but black jogging bottoms instead, this is
because proper trousers were uncomfortable.
That brings me onto another part of my childhood. I had weird habits and
rituals. You know those games that kids play where it's bad luck to step on
the cracks of the pavement? Well, they weren't games to me, I believed them.
I was very superstisious, and a lot of the time obsessive. Say if I was
closing a door and didn't touch the handle the exact 'right way' when I
closed it I just had to go back and touch it again, if I didn't then I would
risk my greatest wishes from ever coming true, and yes those wishes were to
be male. I didn't even enjoy these superstitions, I hated it, it got me down
a lot sometimes but there wasn't anything I could do about it, I prefered
the extra effort of touching things and doing stuff the right way just
incase it could help my wishes come true. I mentioned comfort earlier, well
another obsession I had was being comfortable, usually with my clothes, I
hated my trousers being twisted, for example and it would take me as long as
an hour to get comfortable in bed at night, I would lay down hunderds of
times before my pyjamas felt exactly right. I also hated clothes being too
tight as I didn't like anything to touch my skin, I still don't like that
and prefer my clothes to be baggy. Unlike with the gender identity, I was
ashamed of these obsessions as I thought it was weird behaviour and that
nobody else did it.
I wasn't a depressed child, even tho the obsessions I described must sound
pretty bad, I managed not to let them make my life a misery. I was pretty
happy and active and did well in school without even making an effort. Cos
most of the time I could put the fact I was female in the back of my mind
and just believe I was male, I was fine until I had to be reminded of what I
was.
I think because of this that it made me grow up without a lot of confidence,
especially in social situations. I could be quite shy sometimes and didn't
have a lot of friends in school. In primary school I was odd to the other
kids, as I was a girl who looked like a boy so they avoided me. I wasn't
bullied, probably because I was taller than everyone else, and if anyone did
actually try something I could stand up for myself pretty well, so they
tolerated me, rather than picked on me.
There were then 2 milestones in my life which changed it a lot. In 1992 I
was due to start secondary school and had already decided that I'd better
accept I was a girl and to try to act like one. Less than a month before I
started, the worst thing ever happened, my Dad died. I was used to death and
bad things happening, I'd already had a grandparent die and just when I
started primary school my Mum had to have an abortion and go through a
nervous breakdown because of it (another thing I've never liked is being an
only child, I wasn't meant to be) but losing a parent is possibly the worst
thing that could ever happen to you.
So when I started school the following month I was still coping with the
loss of a father, I also had to get used to a whole new bunch of kids (not
many of my primary school went to this school) and had to try to be a girl.
Yes I've always had to *try* to be female, or at least what people expect of
females, the behaviour that's always come naturally to me has usually been
meant for the male stereotype. Stereotype or no stereotype all I wanted to
do was fit in and be normal, but it was very difficult. One of my friends
kinda 'grew up' and desserted me so I just had the one left who was even
shyer than me. I still had fairly short hair and was always getting asked if
I was a boy or a girl, sometimes it was a genuine question, sometimes it was
someone taking the piss. I found it very hard to try fitting in with the
girls, they were trying to grow up too fast, they were into fashion,
make-up, getting their ears pierced and boys. None of that interested me, I
couldn't understand the point of it. I was still into computer games,
cartoons, general 'playing' and acting a little childish. The boys wouldn't
go near me either obviously, because I was a girl, no matter what I was
interested in.
This made me a pretty dull teenager compared to the more fun kid. I couldn't
be myself anymore as I had to be a girl, so most of my personality and
intrests had to be hidden or stopped completely. Because of this I missed
out on a lot of fun that I should have had and I look back and get very
upset and think I've wasted my life, especially when someone else starts
talking about a load of fun they had when they were young, I just wish I'd
done the same as them, but I didn't.
I'm 19 now and for some reason the gender identity problem became worse
again over the last year or so. I'm not really sure why this is, it's always
been a problem but I think maybe I realised I couldn't hide it and shouldn't
have to fit in anymore with any stereotype. I've had a pretty crappy
depression 2 years which involved me dropping out of 2 different colleges
and not knowing where I'm headed, I tend to self analyse myself a lot so I
guess I thought maybe my gender was getting me down more than I'd thought. I
also had a chance to talk about it with someone that didn't already know me
when I was younger as a friend of mine on the internet believes he may be
transexual too, it was great to find someone that would understand.
I don't know what anyone else would say, even my family members and the few
friends that have known me almost all my life would be shocked to find out
that deep down I hate being female. So who knows how shocked people that
haven't known me long would be? Everyone would be very uncomfortable if I
ever changed sex I know that for sure. I did tell my boyfriend about it once
and he didn't take it very well, but I guess that's expected if you're
straight and find out your partner wants to be the opposite sex. I would
probably act the same way if he'd told me he wanted to be a woman as I'm
only attracted to men. To make him feel better at the time I told him it
probably wasn't too serious and I was just thinking of reasons for why I'm
unhappy with my life. Since then I've often openly commented about why I'd
like to be male but in a kind of light hearted way so it doesn't sound
serious. This is often a good way to talk to someone about something serious
cos you can test their reactions and it gives them a change to start talking
seriously about it.
So would I want to actually change my sex now? When I was a kid then yes
definitely, I would have given anything to be able to have done that. And
probably during most of my teens too. But that was when I was trying to fit
in and be 'normal', now I like to be myself and enjoy irritating the
closed-minded when I break their stereotyped rules. And I think I can do
that (at least where gender is concerned) a lot more if I stay female,
because I act naturally male. Another reason to stay female is that I always
get so angry at the way women and attitudes towards them are portrayed by
society and believe that the sexes are a lot more equal than people think,
they only seem different because people are just acting out what they're
told to be like. If I believe this then wouldn't I be a hyporcrite if I were
to change my sex? I'm not sure, you see because one way they're not equal is
in their bodies, I've never been comfortable with having a female body,
there's so many design faults with it. It's such an annoying feature to have
blood pouring out of you once a month. And boobs, I really hate having
those, I'm a D cup so *have* to wear a bra or it hurts to walk and run. Bras
are incredibly uncomfortable and wearing them makes me angry, I only wear
them if I have to go out so it makes me avoid going out. I'm currently
trying to lose weight so I can actually reduce the size of my breasts. I've
been told I'm just over reacting but I can't understand how so many women
put up with having to have breasts and wear a bra. Also I''m not comfortable
refering to myself as a 'girl' or 'woman', it just doesn't sound right to me
so I try to avoid it and say 'person' instead. I would be a gay man if I
changed and I'm not sure how I'd like living that lifestyle. I can't imagine
myself in a relationship with a man if I was one as well. I prefer the
thought of male/female couples than same sex ones, it'd be easier if I liked
women but I don't and I'm not sure if I could live a gay mans lifestyle.
Sometimes I like being the female in a relationship and I think that one day
I will want to have children, even tho idea idea of settling down and having
a stereotypical family doesn't interests me, and actually scares me a bit.
Sometimes, if I think about what it would be like to be male I feel happy
and 'free' like a large weight has been lifted from my mind, but it only
lasts for a second before I remember it's not so simple.
I hope that my story has made sense to its readers and I hope it's not too
damn long!! As soon as I started reading other peoples experiences I wanted
to write my own story for others in my situation to read. It helps a lot
when you read someone else saying the exact same things you've always
thought, especially if you thought nobody could ever understand you.
Entry 7 of 13
Thanks Cody for sharing your story.
I can remember ever since i was little about 5 or 6 i was forced to go to
a christian school where i had to wear skirts every day, i hated it but i
really didn't understand why i hated it so much, i guess i was to young to
understand. When i finally left the Christain school i began public school
where i could dress more boyish, in baggier pants and i felt more free, and
happy. I hung out with the guys and my brother, we always played G.I Joes,
and played in the mud, i was a true tom-boy at heart. This went on until
about 7th grade, when i was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, this even
made my problem worse because i was not happy with who i was in the first
place. I finally came to realize in 8th grade i hated being a girl, i hated
everything about it, i was disgusted to accept the fact that i am a girl, and
all the peer pressure to dress like one was getting to me. I would take out
my anger on others and yell at my parents. I would cry, and be depressed,
every wish i ever made was to be a boy. I noticed girls really didnt treat me
like a girl, they treated me more like a boy, i did cut my hair very short,
and i did have a very masculine voice so many times people would refer to me
as buddy or son in public until my mom corrected them. Then my mother finally
got tired of me being mistaken as a boy in public so she forced me to wear
shorter shorts and grow my hair out long. In 9th grade i had hair down to my
mid back and i was wearing short shorts and baggy pants on and off. I never
really felt attracted to either sex, i wanted to be happy, left alone and
just have friends, and every time i made a friend that was a boy they would
always come on to me and try to ask me out and i didn't like turning them
down, i just wasnt simply interested. A lot of "preps" in my school told me
i was pretty and that i should dress in tight skimpy clothes like them, they
even dragged me to their house and put make-up on and tight clothes, i hated
it, it was just like hell. So i would go home just to please my parents while
on the inside i wanted to scream and rip the clothes off, i was only doing
this to make them happy while i suffered. Tenth grade came along and i got a
computer in my room. I started to chat everyday, i surfed the internet on
gender crisis hoping it would help me find out who i really was b/c i still
wasnt sure. I began to act like a boy on the internet and my name became
Cody. I made many friends that were girls, it got to the point where they
would call me up and talk to me and i have such a deep voice they thought i
was a guy, and i liked doing that, i realized it was playing with other
peoples emotions but i felt inside that i was a boy at heart trapped in a
girls body, which made me so unhappy. This internet stuff is still going on
now but is slowly dying. I have revealed to my mother and father that i am
not happy with my body and that my mind does not match it. I am a skater and
i wear all boys clothes all the time, i usually wear hats and put my hair up
in a pony tail and hide it in the hat. I have found that people have become a
little more accepting that i want to be male. My mom understand but she
refuses to let me cut my hair. Today i was in the boys section trying to find
a pair of board shorts and my grandma was just lowering my self esteem
because in so many words she was telling me that im a disgrace and that its
awful that i wear boys clothes. She cant accept me and neither can my
brother, he always calls me a dyke and he has no idea what its like to be
this way so he could never understand. I was born like this and i have felt
this way all of my life since i was old enough to feel it but not compelety
understand it. I am now in my 10th grade summer and IM still very unhappy but
it helps alot when you tell your parents so that they understand and im very
glad mine accepted me, i still get people in public to critize me or give me
dirty looks, i even get people telling my mother i should be sent somewhere
on how to act like a girl because thats what i am. They dont understand thats
NOT who i am, body and soul are two different things in me. I was born a girl
physically i have the body of a girl, i had no control over that, but my soul
and the way i think and act is male, on the inside i am male, and i have come
to the conclusion that this is not a "phase" i am going to be like this the
rest of my life, its hard but its better when people understand you. Im glad
you have this story board posted here sean, it feels great to get out all
this it makes me feel better to tell people that will actually understand and
not hate me just because im somebody different than they expect me to be.
8 of 13
Thanks Melissa for sharing your story.
My name is melissa, I was born in 1984. I still hve not cam out all
the way
except to two of my closest friends. It started when I was little. I
had an
older brother and I always want to be like him. I wore boy clothes and
begged my mom to have my hair short. When we went shopping other grown
up's
would tell my mom what a cute boy I was. After I went in to Junior and
hit
puberty I was checking out everyone. The boys mostly. I also started
dressing more like a women wearing exposed shirts and short short's.
When my
friends would always say oh she's pretty i would aggree but thinking
the
girls were beautiful. In about 8th grade I was attracted to my best
friend
she was so beautiful and had all the personality feature that I would
have
wanted in a man. I didn't act upon my feelings because that was just
my
little secret. No one knew and I had alot of girl friends so when we
huged
each other goodbye i didn't want that hug to end ever I love them not
because
they were me friends but their personality's and how beautiful they
are. I
finally hit high school and no one knew i was to scared to tell anyone.
i
would tell people on the internet but never people I knew. In 11th
grade i
have a friend named Erin(not real name)that I knew since 9th grade and
she
just started becoming my best friend I became really attracted to her
both
with her personality and features she isn't just pretty she is
beautiful. We
did mostly everything together. Then one day I was over another
friends
Jen(not real name) house and I stayed the night their was her me and
another
girl i didn't know that well. In the middle of the night i woke up
kinda (
my friend didn't know) and i looked and I saw them kissing. I just
started
to cry and think why couldn't that be me, I wanted to kiss her. A few
weeks
later my friend Erin kissed Jen and I became really depressed I
relized I
wanted Erin. After a while i wa talking to her on the computer and
told her
that i am confused about my sexuality and told her that I thought I was
Bisexual. And then she wrote back that she was Bi and it was no big
deal.
We promised each other that we would not tell anyone. I wanted her for
about
5 month's and i am to afraid to tell her. I write poems about her we
are
best friends and i want to tell her so bad but I know she likes someone
else
who is as straight as a ruler. I cry sometimes just thinking about her
and i
found a poem just for her (no I didn't write it)
I also decidate the song by 98degrees I do ( cherish you)
I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU
My heart is bound to you
My dreams have all come true
My body feels as if it has become new
I am in love with you
You are the girl I want to kiss
You are the girl that brought me to bliss
You are the girl I always miss
I m in love with you
Who else could I want more in life
Who else could I want mor e as a wife
Who else could cure my strife
I am in love with you.
thanks for listing!
9 of 13
Thanks Holly for your story.
Hello everyone! My name is Holly and Im a 18 year olf female living in sunny Florida. I read some of the other stories on the page and thought to share my "experiences" in becoming the women I am today. Growing up in a "society normal" atmosphere I didnt here a lot about gay and lesbians. It wasn't untill high school (freshmen year" when I started to meet people with different sexual orientations. Playing soccer and baseball growing up, I always seemed to think girls were prettier then guys and seemed to stare at them. I never acted on anything, and always did what I thought was normal and date guys. It wasn't till high school when I started to realize that I didnt have a strong feeling for guys anymore, and it seemed like I got along as just "buddies" with all the guys. I started to hang out with more and more gay people and I had my first girlfriend during my sophmore year. Although we were only together for 3 months I realized my love for girls and then on considered myself gay. I kept on on the down low for awhile, only telling close friends because I was scared to hear what other peopel would say about me. My Junior year in high school then approached and I decided to be more open about my sexuality, since most people questioned me anyway.I then realized to love me for who I am, not what I have. I decided it was ok to be gay. My friends we overly supported and no one seemed to bug me and it but a few ex boyfriends that I had in the past. I just tried not to let it bother me. The only people that didnt know was my family and I was never sure how to bring it up around them so I just didnt talk about it while I was at home. As noisy as parents are, one day my mother pondered upon soem notes and read them, they were from this girl that I had been dating. My mom took it pretty well, and is total excepting me with open arms. My dad on the other hand is very against it, and it has caused many conflicts between the two of us. I was sent to a shrink because he thought I was just going through a stage and thought I was going crazy. I knew he was the one with the problem but I still continued to go to my therapist. To this day when the subject comes up my dad gets irritated and switches the subject as quick as possible. I dont know why he cant accept me for who I am, but Im hoping one day he will.I have a lot of experience with the gay and lesbian subject and Im open for conversations anytime. I love to talk to other people who are like me because I feel they understand me better then anyone else. My screen name is soc151cer, and my email is soc151cer@hotmail.com. Feel free to write me anytime.....It'd be nice to make some new friends....
10 of 13
Thanks Lolliepop for your story.
Hi everyone! I am a 24 year old female and I recently came out to my friends
and coworkers about my sexuallity. I have hidden the feelings and desires for
years...I even forced myself into two relationships with men, and ended up
"playing" house and gave birth to two beautiful children. BUT, I really
wasn't happy in those relationships. I knew that in order to be happy with
myself and who I am, I needed to experience the "real" me, and I did... I am
so excited about life and relationships and new beginnings now!!!
Entry 11 of 13
Thanks Ares for your story.
Hi :^) I am 18, call me Ares!
I was born a cute happy little kid and occasionally I wore the cute
frillly
dresses that my seamstress grandma made me, but I still played and ran
no
matter what I was wearing. I was a happy kid and did what I liked, so
clothing didn't really matter to me, I'd wear whatever. When I was a
little
kid I thought everything I did was ok, normal, what-not... it took me a
decade to notice what was different: when I was 7 I had a girlfriend.
when
I was in 2nd grade I had boy short hair and loved it, and when I went
to
camp a little girl had a crush on me and that seemed normal too, so I
didn't
mind when she forgot and called me "he" etc. So when I was little I
had a
natural role with girls... they played house, and since the guys were
playing soccer (which i did too) they needed someone to be the
"husband" and
that was always me. I was their hero, i was Indiana Jones or Marty
McFly,
my two favorite movie characters back then... Around 4th grade I got
my
first crush on a guy, but mostly it was because I admired what he was,
he
was the kind of guy I wanted to be.... I had been a happy nerdy kid
thru
elementary school, but when I got to junior high I had a breakdown I
suddenly looked at the blonde bombshells around me and realized i
didn't fit
in... I had another sweet innocent crush on a boy, only this time I
realized
it was because I wanted to be like him. I wore what was cool for boys
at
that time, courds and dark coloured polo shirts and my hair was short
again
- everyday a football player would come by my locker and whisper in my
ear
"Butch" and I didn't even know what that meant (later I found out this
football player had a crush on me while he was torturing me, and a few
years
later he came out as gay)...
Jr. High ended and I was severely depressed for way too many reasons...
by
the end I had realized that I was attracted to girls, but I still
didn't
identify as a lesbian, especially since I was also going through a
faith
crisis and still considered myself catholic. I had lived in Oregon for
8
yrs. and suddenly we moved to NH for high school giving me a chance to
completely be a different person... so I acted like a cute and bubbly
girl.
Luckily I fell into a great crowd of friends who helped me through the
major
changes that went on for me the next 4 years... Sophomore year several
of
us came out and I identified as bisexual, and I had a few wierd
experiences,
such as two of my best friends having crushes on me, and having an
older
girlfriend, and being forced to come out to my mom. At first my mom was
horrified and afraid i'd get hurt, but by now she has almost completely
accepted it and doesn't care what i do as long as I keep it from my dad
:-(
During high school I also had a few boyfriends, but they were pretty
messed up relationships... the whole time I felt like I was born a
lesbian
and had to "experiment" with guys to see if I felt anything. It was
like
that until senior year when I met a boy a year younger than me and fell
in
love and we were very happy until I went to college this august and
broke
up, but even now I'm worried that this wasn't a completely normal
relationship because again, he is the sort of boy I am attracted to
because
I wish I was more like him.
This year my freshman year of college, I made the wierdest discovery of
all.
That I am attracted to guys, but I primarly gay men. The only
straight
guys I am attracted to, it is not at all sexual, and only because i
want to
be like them, but I am sexually attracted to gay men and women in
general.
Now this has thrown me into major confusion and this is when I started
considering the horrific possibility of a sex-change? I didn't know the
word
transgendered, but i guess that is what I am thinking about now. It is
very
new to me, and I still don't know how far it will go for me. As far
as
religion goes, I am a pagan, so that helps me understand a few things.
I
know that in the few past lives I have had I have always been male, so
I
don't know what that means for now.... should I figure out how to live
my
life in the body I was given, or do i have the right to change that in
order
to be more comfortable? Did something go wrong, do I still have the
mind of
a male mistakenly in a female's body? i don't know... it doesn't help
that
no answer I come up with will REALLY make life easier...I might be more
comfortable in the long run but it'll mean major sacrifices...
Depending on
the extent of surgery or treatment i choose, would I ever really be
accepted
as a man? Or always receive flak as a freak... Since I would still be a
bisexual male, would gay men accept me? Or think I was a stupid girl
trying
to break the rules they've set for themselves... I would lose my
family,
there is no way they could take me becoming a male in any form... and i
might lose a few friends, especially the gay male I fell in love with
here
in college, he would not be comfortable with the idea that he is the
reason
I started thinking about this things. But I wouldn't be doing it for
him,
I'd do it for myself. So ultimatley that is my unresolved story. My
friends
call me scrap pile, because i'm not fully female or fully male, not
fully
gay or fully straight. I'm the best of what's left over :-p and i'm
not
done yet.
Entry 12 of 13
Thanks Michael for your story.
My story starts the way most storys start...I was born in a small town in Alabama and was raised 95% by my Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, and female cousin until I was about 7 or 8 years old. My father went to night school for the first 6 years of my life, so I never really had a "father figure" around other than my grandfather and great grandfather, but I rarely saw them. Looking at the pictures of me from 3 to 6, I don't know HOW anyone couldn't have suspected. I grew up acting in the same way a little girl might act. I was constantly told "Act like a boy" and "You act so girly sometimes".
At age 9, I was introduced to the term "gay" when someone asked me "Are you gay?" Me?? Gay??? How stupid was that? I wasn't gay...was I? I mean, even though I dressed up like a girl, played with Barbies, thought guys were kinda cute, thought that pink was THE colour, and had mostly female friends from the beginning, I couldn't POSSIBLY be gay.
The question followed me throughout my middle school (or Junior High as some refer to it) years when it turned into "You are so gay!" It stopped being a question. It was an accusation that people began making. Of course I denied it. But I couldn't deny the fact that at age 13 I slept with one of my best guy friends, so I didn't tell anyone. After it was over, we both looked at each other and said, "This isn't wrong. It's only sexual tension relief." I knew I was lying to myself though. The two of us shared more than one experience that year and by the time we entered the 9th grade, it had become a common thing for us. Soon, he grew distant from me, and I knew why. The fact that I looked at him as more than just a friend and actually enjoyed the things we did together unnerved him...but I CONTINUED to deny the accusations that were made about me being gay. Denial, denial, denial!
For the next two years, I slipped into a depression with full force. I didn't date anyone. I felt alone. I felt unattractive. I wanted to die. 9th and 10th grade passed slowly and I found the accusations growing louder and more positive than they had before. My 11th grade year was the year it all crashed. I stopped lying to myself on my 16th birthday. I stood there, staring at my reflection in the mirror that sat atop my dresser and admitted, "I AM GAY!!!" as loud as I could. I knew my parents would kill me though, so I kept it secret as best I could. I did admit it to my best friend who did her best to keep it a secret. That year on the morning before Prom night, my Mother confronted me and said "Michael, we KNOW you THINK you're gay." "Well, Mom, I don't THINK I'm gay. I KNOW I'm gay."
The entire family was thrown into a new low. Mom and Dad were having marrital problems and finding out their son was a "fag" didn't help the situation. That summer, Mom and Dad split up for about a week and my mother, my sister, and I all lived with my grandmother while Dad remained at our house. At that point, Mom decided that she'd have to accept it and told me with tears in her eyes, "I may not like it...but you ARE my son and I love you more than you'll ever know." Something happened that night between my Mother and myself...our bond as Mother and Son (or Daughter...however you want to look at it) was strengthened times ten!!
My senior year, I finally found my first boifriend who turned out to be a real jerk...as did the second and third ones that same year. I felt degraded by all of them, but in time, I didn't care anymore. I didn't matter to them, so I learned to deal with the fact that most guys wanted me for ONE thing and did my best not to allow them the privelige...but I didn't do too well. I looked at myself and thought "I'm a typical fag!" I fell back into that depression and degraded myself for allowing myself to be tempted the way I was and allowing myself to get walked on by everyone. But my story isn't over...
My 18th birthday rolled around and I enrolled in college and came out of the closet with rainbows plastered all over my body! I dressed in women's jeans, wore women's underwear, and said to myself, "I don't care anymore. They walked on me then...but they won't anymore!" I allowed myself to get into one really stupid relationship this year and slipped out of it into another one that I was (and still am) very happy with.
Okay...so it's not exactly a fairy-tale ending...but I can't exactly FINISH my story because I feel like I've just now opened another chapter in my life...and I hope that I open many more. I suppose I should close out by saying this...
My goal in life is to see young people like me live their lives to the fullest. Dealing with the "Sexual Identity Crisis (SIC)" can be one of the hardest things to deal with, and in today's society, there are so many people with my same story that know exactly what it's like. For anyone that needs to talk to me...come find me on AIM or gay.com as mikazeffa. PEACE--PAX--PACE! Michael :-)
Entry 13 of 13
Thanks Jane/Aiden for posting your story.
Dear Sean,
Thank you so much for your site! I am a Female to
Male to Female transgender...if that makes anysense?
Basiclly, what it means is this: Ever since I was 4
years old, i just knew I was a boy. I just knew it! I honestly thought that
my balls would drop and my penis would grow when I hit puberty. Well...they
never dropped, and it never grew. ::Sigh::
Infact, my breasts began to grow when I was too
young. 7 to be exact. And it became hell. I tried as much as I could to hide
them. It wasn't so much that they were a pain to deal with...(Those of you
"guys" out there who have ever slid into home while swallowing your tounge,
know what I mean!)
But what really messed me up, was all of my friend's
Father's, older brother's, uncle's, aunts, and mother's....Yes, i said Aunts
and Mothers...trying to cop a feel whenever no one was looking. Needless to
say, I stopped going to friends houses' to do homework.
I was very lucky though. My Mother is very
"femme-butch" she gave me toy cars as well as dolls to play with. And instead
of her teaching me how to put on makeup, she was teaching me how to do oil
changes, change tires, replace a fan-belt, and even install a toilet.
My mother was also the most beautiful woman I had
ever seen. When she was home, she was in jeans, t-shirt and sneakers. But
when she would go to work (waitress and sugar baby) she would get as dolled
up as a 1959 Barbie doll!.
I was always there to help her. Picking out her
lingerie, setting up her little plug-in vanity mirror, with all her make-up
set around it. And I would even brush out what ever wig she chose, and help
her put it on.
I went through a period when I was 13, where I
thought I was a lesbian, I told my Mom, and she was....at first upset about
it. But then, a few days later, she came up to me, to say that she didn't
care who I loved, just as long as I was happy......She needed some time to
cool down, and think things over.
Ever since I was 15, I have dressed femme-butch.
Plenty of makeup..not too much though. While wearing men's clothes. Sweet,
pin-stripe suits, silk shirts, beautiful slacks, and plenty of vintage 70's
shirts with bright designs. I used to wear dozens of bracelettes, and
necklaces. But I got tired of my wrists' and neck turning green.
Also when I was 15, infact it was Samhain. October
31. New Years to those of us Wiccans. Anyway... It was New Years, and my Mom
and I were relaxing, enjoying the day, while she was smoking a joint. I took
a hit, and soon found out, weed makes me very, VERY nervous! Which didn't
make this situation any easier....I was trying to tell me Mom that I was
attracted to Cross-Dressers and Male to Female transgenders.
I started to ramble, very fast. Not really knowing
what I was saying LoL I started out, by telling her I had just seen Korn's
video for A.D.I.D.A.S. ANd told her about the scene where jonathan is in
white cotten lingerie...Yum! And then I said: "Which was great! Because..you
know...I LIKE that sort of thing" I then looked ot my mother, waiting for her
reaction.
When she said nothing, I asked her if she heard me.
She said "Yes" And that she had known that fact for a while. I was in pure
shock! I then asked her: "Well why the hell didn't you tell me!!??" Since it
did in fact take me a couple of years to realise and except this.
I then told me Dad a couple of months later, when he
came to visit us. He was also very cool with it. He still teases me about it.
But he dosen't try to hurt me, just harmless teasing.
98-99 was very hard for me. Things were cool at
home, but in my head they were very fucked up...excuse my French. I had
always been really good at ignoring things. But it seemed everything was
coming to the surface. I had tried very hard and well at blocking out all
those feelings I had as a child. But I couldn't hide it anymore. I went
online to learn more about m2f transgenders. And I couldn't believe there
were others like me!
I told my Mom and Dad the truth. About how I always
thought I was a boy when I was little. And I even told them about the things
I did to myself, out of guilt for hating my gender. Pulling out my hair,
banging my head against the floor, and I even tried to "off" myself a few
times.
My father cried, actually because he was happy. He
said I had no idea how lucky i was, that I realsied this while being a
teenager. That there are so many people out there, who do not admit who they
trully are, untill it is too late, and they are too afraid to do anything
about it.
My mother on the other hand, took it badly. Alot of
screaming and yelling...arguing. "How can you hate yourself? Do you want to
cut off your breasts'? This is just a phase! That's all! It'll pass" I told
her, I did not want to cut off my breasts', even though I do sometimes strap
them down. WHen she realised that it was not a phase, she apologized for how
she had acted. And told me that she supported me always.
She has read up on transgendered youth. And she
always supports my choice in "ladies" I am so greatful for my parents. I know
that they love me no matter what.
I am now 19. I stay home and take care of
Grandmother. I will be going to school 18 months. Full Sail in Orlando for
film. I spend most my time writing.
Thank you again, Sean. And those of you out there
who have taken the time to read this. If you are a F2M T.G, or a lovely M2F
T.G lady who would like ot speak to me. Write me at Cigarret Girl@aol.com