Date: Sat, 09 Nov 1996 03:07:31 -0800

From: Bruce Leach 

Subject: SRU: Birthday Wishes







Sorry about the problem with the header last time. Anyone who 

responded before, I would really like to have those sent to me again if 

possible. I hope to master e-mail befor I die. Here is a quickie I  

thought of at my friend's birthday party. It is for the list, the   

archive, and anyone else who feels like posting it (provided you  

acknowledge the humble author of course)

 

 Spell R'Us: Birthday Wishes

 

 By: Bruce Leach

 

         "I think I have just what you are looking for." said the old

man

 as he rummaged behind his desk.

 

         "Great. So I just put this potion in my wife's drink and mine

 and  my wife will never wear those sexy clothes in public again?" the

 customer replied.

 

         "I am quite sure that SHE will never wear those clothes again"

 

         "Thank you very much."

 

         The old man had to laugh as the customer went home to his new

 life as the wife of the household. His fellow magicians wondered why he

 never got bored by these petty pranks; heck, even he wondered

sometimes.

 However,  no matter how many cheerleaders he created, no matter how

many

 guys turned horses grazed in the fields, it just never got tired. It

 gave him joy every time.

 

         Really his only regret was that he had changed so many people.

 His reputation had started to get around and he was getting fewer and

 fewer customers. If he hadn't have set up his shop in a mall he would

 have had to go out of business long ago. Fortunately malls attract just

 the sort of buffoons he needed.

 

         The old man turned to close up the shop just in time to see the

 imp appear. Others would be scared but he knew that this was just how

 mages sent mail.

 

         "Message sir. A birthday greeting from the Lady Mage Rowena"

 

         The old man went over and took the message allowing the imp to

 depart. Looking at it he noticed his friend and rival Rowena's "R" seal

 and opened the message.

 

         Greetings!

 

                 I have heard that you have been busy lately so I

thought

 I would send a

         message instead of coming in person. Your jokes have become

 quite the legend

         here in the council. Some don't appreciate the humor but I

think

 they are just fab!

         Enclosed is a small spell to help you celebrate your birthday

 and all the joy of the

         past year.

                                         Your Friend Rowena

 

         "I had almost forgotten it was my birthday!" the old man

 muttered to his large watch dog. "Good old Rowena. She has played a few

 pranks in her time too. I am glad she's there to defend me from the

 council."

 

         The old man looked down at the enclosed spell which bore the

 inscription:

 

         TO ALLOW YOU TO RE-LIVE YOUR GREATEST PRANKS

 

         He smiled. Rowena was a master of time and space magic; this

 would probably allow him to feel those same moments of joy again. She

 had done this once before for a friend of his He calmly invoked the

 spell.

 

         Suddenly he was a frat boy invoking a spell to become a

 beautiful blond bimbo. He felt unable to stop himself as he went down

 and answered the ringing doorbell only to find himself and some riends.

 What happened next could be considered a strange form of masturbation.

 

         It went on and on. He became a juvenile delinquent girl who got

 younger and younger, he became a football player turned cheerleader, he

 became a guard dog/wolf thing; every prank he had pulled over the last

 year repeated itself with him as the victim.

 

         And as Rowena laughed somehow she knew she had not heard the

 last of this.

 

 P.S. Anyone who wants to get revenge for the old man on Rowena go

ahead.

 I have left it open for anyone who cares.

 

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