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Fucking Candles
The problem with fucking candles
Is that
Your body heat warms them up
And they bend.
Then you can't
Shove them in a candlestick
And put them on display
In the living room.
And another thing.
They're too narrow so
Even if
The whole thing goes in,
It's not satisfying.
Worse still,
There's nothing more unpleasant
(Or more ridiculous)
Than waking up with
A hangover the next morning
And opening your eyes to the sight of
A bent candle
In a loose, floppy condom.
The problem with fucking candles
Is that
It's a whole lot more fun
Fucking women.
copyright © Scarlet Sunday 11 October 1998
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