An Irishman, a Mexican and a redneck were doing construction work on

scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and

the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and

cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I

get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a

bologna

sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

Next day - the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and

cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican open his lunch, sees a

burrito and jumps too. The redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna

and jumps to his death also.

At the funeral - The Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known

how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have

given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also weeps and says "I could have given him tacos

or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the redneck's wife.

"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"

>Three young Irish candidates for the priesthood are told by the

>Monsignor

>they have to pass one more test: The Celibacy Test.

>The Monsignor leads them into a room, and tells them to undress, and a

>small

>bell is tied to each man's willy.

>

>In comes a beautiful woman, wearing a sexy belly-dancer costume. She

>begins

>to dance sensually around the first candidate.

>

>*Ting-a-ling*

>

>"Oh, Patrick," says the Monsignor, "I am so disappointed in your lack of

>control. Go now and take a long, cold shower and pray about your carnal

>weakness." The candidate leaves.

>

>The dancer continues, dancing around the second candidate, slowly

>peeling

>off her layers of veils. As the last veil drops:

>

>*Ting-a-ling*

>

>"Joseph, Joseph," sighs the Monsignor. "You too are unable to withstand

>your

>carnal desires. Go...take a long, cold shower and pray for forgiveness."

>

>The dancer continues, dancing naked in front of the final candidate.

>Nothing. She writhes up and down against his body. No response. Finally,

>exhausted, she quits.

>

>"Michael, my son, I am truly proud of you," says the Monsignor. "Only

>you

>have the true strength of character needed to become a priest. Now, go

>and

>join your weaker brethren in the showers."

>* Ting-a-ling*

>