DICTIONARY OF DATING ==========================

DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time,

and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't

especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in

the future.

EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to

a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so,

many women have difficulty looking a man directly in the eyes, not

necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due to the fact that a

woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND: A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has

some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE: A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted

by the man as "playing hard to get."

IRRITATING HABIT: What the endearing little qualities that initially

attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

NYMPHOMANIAC: A man's term for a woman who wants to do it more often

than he does.

SOBER: A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

ATTRACTION: The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT 1st SIGHT: What occurs when two extremely horny, but not

entirely choosy people meet.

LAW OF RELATIVITY: How attractive a given person appears to be is

directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.