Death

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day.

Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell

the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've

been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible

deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has

been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her

red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell

something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where

this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the

balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing,

25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating

on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off.

So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting

hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long,

so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the

bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into

the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it

landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got

to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man

in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being

full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of

my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my

balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because

I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the

balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very

long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought

for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I

held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a

hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but

again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all

right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this

refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly,

and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty

horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole

process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked

for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a

refrigerator..."