The OJ Trial as Retold by Dr. Seuss

I did not kill my lovely wife.

I did not slash her with a knife.

I did not bonk her on the head.

I did not know that she was dead.

I stayed at home that fateful night.

I took a cab, then took a flight.

The bag I had was just for me.

My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be!

When I came home I had a gash.

My hand was cut from broken glass.

I cut my hand on broken glass.

A broken glass did cause that gash.

I have nothing, nothing to hide.

My friend, he took me for a ride.

Did you take this person’s life?

Did you do it with a knife?

I did not do it with a knife.

I did not, could not kill my wife.

I did not do this awful crime.

I could not, would not anytime.

Did you hit her from above?

Did you drop this bloody glove?

I did not hit her from above.

I cannot even wear that glove.

I did not do it with a knife

I did not, could not kill my wife.

I did not do this awful crime.

I could not, would not anytime.

And now I’m free, I can return

To my house for which I yearn.

And to my family whom I love.

Hey, now I’m free—Give back my glove!