16> The monitor is spinning, the floppy drive is spewing pea soup and the speakers are growling, "Your Mother codes blocks that fail!"

15> "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do..."

14> You learn Bill Gates’ monthly check to Beelzebub was returned for insufficient postage.

13> The White House just phoned to say Al Gore is coming over to survey the damage.

12> Your Palm Pilot starts shouting "Mayday! Mayday!"

11> As the screen flickers, a Scottish voice screams, "Cap’n! She needs more RAM! She’s breakin’ up, Sir!"

10> Tiny hoodlum appears on the screen and offers to sell you "MS Protection" for a modest fee.

9> First time you’ve ever seen that "Happy Mac With A Chainsaw" icon.

8> Bill Gates climbs out of a black helicopter in your back yard and offers you a cool million to keep your big mouth shut.

7> Rumors circulate about a new virus cunningly disguised as an e-mail entitled, "Top5 - 4/27/98 - Signs Win98 Will Crash."

6> That flying window screensaver just morphed into a flaming Hindenburg.

5> Knowing the procedure for vermin aboard a sinking ship, your mouse just high-tailed it into the other room.

4> That tiny iceberg icon is getting larger by the minute.

3> Your screensaver shows a little man committing suicide by sticking a screwdriver in a flying toaster.

2> Before you can install more of the Professor’s coconut shell RAM, Gilligan decides to play minesweeper.

and Top5’s Number 1 Sign Your Windows 98 System is About to Crash...