RULES OF THE HOUSE

 

Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real

as all other laws of the universe? Here are a few examples:

 

1. A child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse

proportion to his ability to do the work involved.

 

2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.

 

3. A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an

unwashed window.

 

4. The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to

how badly it is needed.

 

5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a

two-car garage.

 

6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.

 

7. The potential fir disaster is in direct proportion to the number

of TV remote-controls divided by the number of viewers.

 

8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor

temperature.

 

9. The capacity of any hot-water heater is equal to one and one-half

sibling showers.

 

10. What goes up must come down, except bubble gum and slightly used

cereal.