15> A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector

set, if you know what I mean.

14> Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your

head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all."

13> You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled

Lego bricks.

12> Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The

Stockboy" display.

11> You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding

the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.

10> Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids

they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition.

9> The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not

selling.

8> Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically

correct.

7> Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs

again.

6> Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey

the Giraffe.

5> Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after

you jackknifed a Big Wheel.

4> Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was

"homemade Gack."

3> Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-

Nuclear Holocaust Malibu" was not exactly an overwhelming

success.

2> Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the

Giraffe in a leather bar.

and the Number 1 Reason For Being Fired From Toys 'R' Us...

1> Regardless of the question, you answer, "Bite me, kid --

I R on break." >>