 Here you go guys

Here you go guys. Here is something that might ring a bell. If’n yew cane’t read it, yew must be ignert.

Subject: Southern Dictionary

Surely we Southerners don’t sound like this???

"Hickphonics"

"Hickphonics" is a language to be taught in all Southern schools.

A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. The

following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:

HEIDI - noun. Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.

Usage: Heidi, hire yew?"

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."

Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts."

THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process.

Usage: "Ah thank ah’ll have a bare."

BARE - noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.

Usage: "Ah thank ah’ll have a bare."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."

Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight’nin’ bolts.

Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.

Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.

Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that thing’s gonna catch far."

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.

Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.

Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.

Usage: "You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.

Usage: "We Southerners are willin’ to fat for our rats."

FARN - adjective. Not local.

Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed....mus’ be from some farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.

Usage: "He’s did, Jim."

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.

Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction.

Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?"

HAZE - a contraction.

Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah....haze ignert. He ain’t thanked but a minnit ‘n ‘is laf."

SEED - verb, past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.

Usage: "I ain’t never seed New York City....view?"

GUMMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution.

Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert

Pear - energy

Usage - Muh paw usta wuk for Flahr’da Laght ‘n’ Pear Cum’ny but naow he’s own with th’ Seaboard Rayuhllroad as a Farman.