A young Irishman had recently been ordained as a priest and was travelling to his new parish in the Irish countryside. As he drove down the lane, he saw a man in the ditch at the side of the road fucking a sheep. The young priest shuddered, uttered a prayer, and crossed himself.

A few miles down the road he saw another man out in the fields frenziedly screwing a sheep. Appalled at having witnessed a second case of bestiality in less than a hour, he whispered several prayers, crosses himself fervently, and drove on.

Finally, on the outskirts of town, he caught sight of a man leaning against a tree and masturbating enthusiastically. The young priest, then and there decided grimly on the topic of his first sermon.

"As I approached this fair town," he began that Sunday, "I witnessed three abominations. First, on the roadside a man committing an unnatural act with a sheep. Shortly thereafter was another man in a field committing the same unnatural act with another sheep! And third, at the very outskirts of this town, a man was committing an unnatural act with himself!"

A voice spoke up from somewhere in the congregation,

"Aye, that'll be old Paddy Fitzpatrick. He never could catch a sheep!"