Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I call mine Sex. Now Sex

has been embarrassing to me. When I went to

City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to

have a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one

too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she

looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had

Sex since I was 9 years old!!" He said, "You must have been quite a

kid".

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I

told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for Sex.

He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't

understand, Sex keeps me awake at night!" Then the clerk

said, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the

dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I

was just standing there, looking around. I told him that I had planned

to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold

my own tickets. "But you don't understand" I said, "I had planned to

have Sex on T.V." He called me a show off. When my

wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I

said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married!!"

The Judge said, "Me too". Then I told him that after I was married that

Sex had left me. He said "Me too". Last night Sex ran

off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to

me and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4

O'clock in the morning. I said looking for Sex. My case comes up

Monday........