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You will finally get the television exposure you've been wanting, by organizing a group of protesters to block the entrance to a physics lab, holding crudely-lettered signs saying "Down With Gravity!".

Today is not a good day to be yourself. In fact, that might even be dangerous. Be someone else, until further notice.

Today you will irritate people. In fact, you'll irritate yourself.

Beware of the Spanish Inquisition, today. They may show up unexpectedly.

You will discover that your manager was frequently taunted with a rubber chicken during his formative years. This will go a long ways towards explaining some of the things you'd been wondering about.

As you are walking along, you will notice someone leaning back in a chair. You should stop and insist that they bring their seatback to a full upright and locked position until the captain has turned off a sign.

Nothing unusual today. Unless you count that episode with the iguana...

Try not to be too impulsive, today. Ask youself if you really need that howitzer, or if you just think it'd be fun to have.

You will have an intellectual discussion with a potato, today. You'll be so caught up in whether it was Descartes or Voltaire who first advocated empiricism, that it will fail to strike you as a bit odd that the potato knows much of anything about 17th-century French philosophers. In fact, it knows more about them than you do. Later, that will irritate you.

You will become a bit nervous when you spot the Feldsteins, next door, doing a Bantu war dance. Perhaps you should call in sick today, and just stay indoors watching Wheel Of Fortune?

More fun with twine, today. Isn't it great!?

Good day to wear tropical fruit on your head.