Barbie Jokes
 

 Barbie of the 90's

New Barbie dolls to represent the diversity of women in the 90's:

DIVORCED BARBIE comes with all of Ken's accessories
TEENAGE SINGLE PARENT BARBIE "welfare check" from Mattel mailed each month
CRACK ADDICT BARBIE pipe included, sugar may be used to simulate crack cocaine
BOULEVARD BARBIE with cheap makeup, short skirt, and high heels
LESBIAN BARBIE Barbie with a butch
LIPSTICK LESBIAN BARBIE actually no different in appearance from regular Barbie
BULIMOREXIA BARBIE also no different in appearance from regular Barbie
BRUNETTE BARBIE the only Barbie with a brain
QUANTUM PHYSICIST BARBIE yeah, right
BOW-WOW BARBIE the ugliest Barbie you've ever seen
PUNK BARBIE has rings in all sorts of strange places
NAVY PILOT BARBIE comes with a body bag, wrecked fighter jet sold separately
BREAST IMPLANT BARBIE now Barbie's a D-cup
CANCER PATIENT BARBIE remove the wig and Barbie's bald
BLACK BARBIE once your Ken doll goes black, he'll never go back
FEMINIST BARBIE has unshaved legs and armpits
BATTERED WIFE BARBIE comes with a restraining order to serve to Ken
BARBIE BOBBIT with knife, Ken had better watch out
BAG LADY BARBIE Complete with shopping cart; wearing everything she owns.


Q. Why can't Barbie get pregnant?
A.  Ken comes in another box.


Introducing WHITE TRASH BARBIE: She's larger and meaner than them other prissy, stuck-up, think-ther-better'n-you Barbies! Now every girl can live the fantasy of ignorance and poverty with her special trailer-park friend.


Every WHITE TRASH BARBIE comes complete with:
  • * Two packs of Marlboro Lights for Barbie's smoking pleasure!
  • * A six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer (it's on sale!) to refresh Barbie during her busy day of bitching and watching TV.
  • * Stylish, every occasion Spandex pants*, halter top and sandals. (*Hot pants or blue jean cut-offs may be substituted on dolls shipped to Alabama).
  • * Waffle House uniform sold separately.
  • * Barbie comes with platinum blonde hair and black roots showing.
  • * Miracle-o'-procreation button! Press button on Barbie's back and she's pregnant...again!
  • * Action bitch pull string! Barbie can say 11 phrases including, "I tol' jew #$%&@* kids to git the hell outa my yard!", "Git me anuther beer, baybee.", "Whur's my #$%&@* cigarettes?", and more.


    • ALSO AVAILABLE:

    1. Barbie double-wide dream trailer: Mobile home fun complete with stained carpet, broken steps, and TV set. Barbie's wormy pet cat Rufus, also included. Trailer disassembles for use with the Tornado Action Playset (Sold separately).

    2. Barbie dream car: 1982 Camaro in mix-n'- match colors, smokin' chokin' exhaust*, and coat hanger radio antenna. Holds two white Trash Barbies or fifteen MexMigrant Barbies (Sold separately) (*Smoke non-toxic, unless breathed.)

    3. Abusive boyfriend Ken with Asskickn' leg action and BitchSlap backhand. With cowboy boots and MD 20/20 bottle. Curses and mumbles when string is pulled. African-American version available (excl. Mississippi).

    4. Married life Ken with Beer-bustin' expanding waist*. Molded to recliner, with TV remote, beer, and chips. Says "Shut up, woman," and "Git me a beer." (*Waist cannot be reduced once expanded.)