SEASON 5

Buffy Versus Dracula
Brief Synopsis: Dracula (with a bad accent and stupid make-up) shows up in Sunnydale, intent on meeting and having Buffy. She puts up some resistance, more than Xander who gets to be a puppet, again. She does act kind of wimpy in the face of the Count, letting him bite her and hypnotize her. Eventually though, Buffy tastes blood, realizes she is a way too close to the Count and stakes him. She then goes to Giles and ask him to be her Watcher again, which is good since he was thinking about moving back to England. At the very end, we find out Buffy has a never before seen sister that must have been living in the Summers’ Mansion basement for fourteen years named Dawn. In the event I cared, Riley tried to make himself useful by bullying information out of Spike, and hunting for Dracula with Giles.
This is an off topic comment, but that scene between Buffy and Dracula where she sets down the stake on the table just reminded me of the original movie. I was able to predict all of the general premises of the lines in that one because it was very similar. The master vampire tempts the Slayer with knowledge she doesn’t have, she initially falls for it, he gets to close and forces her to do something she wouldn’t normally do, she comes to her senses and makes wise-cracks, they fight, and she eventually stakes him. Kudos to this version of the scene since I think it was better than the original.
Spike-centric View: What a change is Season 5! Spike is in one scene, without Buffy. Yep, huge change. I can’t believe they let Riley talk down on Spike. I’d have given almost anything to see the chip have a sudden malfunction, and Riley become another meal. Riley doesn’t even listen to Spike’s good advice about Dracula. (If he’d been in Buffy’s bed like Spike suggested, would Dracula have bitten her?)
The Good: Spike’s still around, so I still have hope.
The Bad: Not only does Spike not meet Buffy, Riley gets to push him around. I feel his pain. Stupid Riley Finn. I also think Buffy gave into the whole ‘Dracula thrall’ thing way too easily.

Real Me
Brief Synopsis: Amidst Buffy complaining about life and the fact her sister (who apparently was not living in the basement) interrupted her training session, the magic shoppe owner is killed, and it turns out that Harmony last seen in “Pangs” or Willow’s dream in “Primeval” did the deed. Harmony is clumsily attempting to kill the Slayer. She does get an invite to the Summers’ Mansion via Dawn’s mistake, but Buffy wasn’t home, so it didn’t help her much. After talking to Spike, Harmony sends her dumb gang to kidnap one of Buffy’s friends. They get Dawn, and Buffy beats Harmony’s location out of Spike. Meanwhile, Harmony has found out that she can’t control her gang and is ‘rescued’ by Buffy killing her belligerent gang members. Buffy rescues Dawn, and the sisters make a kind of truce. As a side note, Giles has decided to buy the magic shop so the gang can stop hanging around his house at all hours of the day and night.
Spike-centric View: It’s nice to see Spike has a hobby, killing vampires. Hey, doesn’t Buffy do that too? Spike gets to mercilessly make fun of Harmony getting in touch with her inner, evil demon because she’s not doing a good job. Good dialogue throughout that whole scene since I never get tired of watching Spike pick on people. We see him again when Buffy needs to find out where Dawn is. She punches him an extra time in the nose even though he told her the truth and asked her not to do that.
The Good:Nice to see that after four years, Buffy and Spike still have that old flame. Yep, they still fight like cats and dogs. We also are treated to the minimum amount of Riley scenes we are forced to watch. Again, it’s nice to see Spike make snarky comments about Harmony because she’s such a good target. Even Xander got some genuinely funny lines at Harmony’s expense, especially with the extremely dorky members of her gang.
The Bad: Dawn was a little annoying, so I personally might have left her to be eaten, but that is just me. The scene at the beginning where Buffy is doing a handstand on the wood-block and raises one hand, I was waiting for any second a little green puppet to pop up and say, “A Jedi’s strength flows from the force. But beware of the dark side.” Then I thought she was going to levitate rocks and droids, though I think some guy by the name of Lucas came up with that scene.

The Replacement
Brief Synopsis:This is an episode focusing on Xander, so my synopsis will be short. A big demon is trying to get rid of the Slayer (surprise there). By mistake he hits Xander with his shooting stick, which splits Xander into Cool Xander and Loser Xander. Loser Xander walks around basically being a loser, and Cool Xander gets a new apartment, a job promotion, and Anya. Loser Xander is unhappy with this, and a Xander-fight starts, which is broken up by Buffy and Riley because the two Xanders are just normal Xander’s personality (and a good excuse to use Nicholas Brendan’s twin) cut in two. The demon attacks, Buffy kills it, and Willow puts the two Xanders back together with a simple five word spell. Then when Normal Xander moves out, Riley reveals he is aware that Buffy does not love him, which any wanker probably noticed by now.
Spike-centric View: You noticed Spike wasn’t in the synopsis? That was because he didn’t do anything. The Scooby Gang saw him collecting junk from the junkyard. Then he went back to his crypt and beat up on junkyard mannequin, calling it the Slayer. Actually, before he said the words, I thought the blonde mannequin was Harmony. Maybe it was just me.
The Good:Well, this officially confirms that Spike has some type of Slayer fetish. Also did you notice that Spike’s crypt underwent some major redecorating since last episode? It also confirms what everyone and their half-sisters’ best friends’ third cousin four times removed already figured out, Buffy does not love Riley. Though this isn’t in my usual realm, I loved watching Xander prove his identity by doing the Snoopy dance. I think twin hi-jinks are funny, but I’m glad they only do it once a season.
The Bad: WTF!! (Sorry if you are too young to know what that means.) What kind of treatment is that for Spike? Calm. Calm. Happy thoughts. Okay, not only did we not have any real Spike, what a dumb non-threatening demon!

Out of My Mind
Brief Synopsis: The episode starts with Buffy getting annoyed on patrol when Spike and Riley show up on her patrol for fun (She's really annoyed with Spike tasting his own blood). Giles has now officially invested in the Magic Shoppe, but all is not well in the Summers’ Mansion because Joyce, noticing Dawn is not a ‘real’ girl, has headaches and is taken to the hospital. While Buffy talks to our new reoccurring character Dr. Ben, it is discovered that Riley has an unhealthily/over-active heart, for which he refuses treatment, but more importantly, Harmony, fearing the Slayer will kill her, agrees to sleep with Spike should he provide her with a place to stay. Riley acts like a big dork, won’t let the government fix the fatal error in his heart, and stomps off. The gang hunts for him in various places, and Buffy offers Spike money look in the Initiative caves and take Riley to the special Initiative doctor. Spike makes fun of Riley’s situation, which gets him slapped, and the money ripped in half. While Buffy is off in the caves, Spike and Harmony kidnap the doctor and force him to remove Spike’s chip. After she whines (sorry, but any scene to save Riley annoys me), Buffy convinces Riley to have the operation, but then they need to go find Spike and Harmony, which they do. A fight breaks out between the four of them, and it turns out that the doctor did not remove Spike’s chip. Riley’s life is saved since Harmony and Spike run away with Spike complaining about the Slayer haunting him.
But here are the fireworks. Buffy comes to Spike’s crypt to stake him. He tells her that’s fine with him and rips off his shirt. She gets right up in his face and hesitates. He grabs her and shocks them both by giving her this not-enemy-like kiss. They stare at each other in confusion, and she comes back for more kisses. Buffy admits she wants him, and Spike tells her he loves her. Bang! Spike wakes up in bed with Harmony. It was a dream, and boy is he in trouble!
Spike-centric View:This is the best Spike has had it in, let me count, 18 episodes (all the way back to “The Initiative.”). He got a girl to sleep with, threatened the Slayer, almost got her boyfriend killed, and kissed the Slayer! Okay, so the kiss the Slayer part was a dream, but now we know Spike loves her. Yay!! Half of the B/S ship is solved, though I personally doubt almost killing Riley will make Buffy especially receptive to Spike’s charms. Still, my hope is renewed, and it lets me believe that I am not operating under some sort of complete delusion on this site. Incidentally, I think the title is a reference to Spike trying to get Buffy out of his head, but then realizing why she’s in there.
The Good: The end. The kiss. I am speechless.
The Bad: Why did it have to be a dream? And the whole part where Riley lives. I’m completely against that.

No Place Like Home
Brief Synopsis: Two months ago, a bunch of monks run from a Big Blonde Evil Girl, now referred to as BBEG. In the Now, Buffy finds this funny sphere at this abandoned warehouse, and Joyce is still suffering from a mysterious health problem. Onto something more fun, Giles’ Magic Box opens and gradually becomes saturated with customers throughout the day, causing him to hire Anya. Buffy and et al try to figure out the job of the sphere and if Joyce is under a spell. The BBEG threatens one of the aforementioned monks in the aforementioned warehouse and proves that she can make people go insane. Gee, that’s nice. Anya suggests that Buffy do a spell that reveals spells, which Buffy performs in the Summers’ Mansion. Joyce is not under a spell, but Dawn is because she does not seem to exist. Buffy roughs up Dawn and yells anti-sister stuff at her. Giles calls Buffy, Buffy doesn’t reveal her suspicions about Dawn, but takes his advice to go back to the warehouse. After having a thoroughly confusing conversation with Spike, Buffy gets to the warehouse and finds the BBEG and the monk, who is very beat up. The BBEG is much stronger than Buffy, but Buffy, after getting beaten to a pulp, steals the monk and jumps out a window. Upset, the BBEG brings the house literally down on herself, and Buffy questions the monk. In his dying breath, that lasted longer than Spike’s entire scene, he tells Buffy that they have take the Key, a type of super energy, and put it in Buffy’s house in the form of Dawn. The Key needs to be protected at all costs, and Dawn does not know that she is not Buffy’s sister. (Yes, the mystery of the sister in the basement of the Summers’ Mansion is solved!) The monk finally dies, and Buffy goes home and makes up with Dawn.
Spike-centric View: Spike has taken up stalking. The conversation was funny though, his explaination for why he is standing outside Buffy’s house is quite amusing. On the same hand, Buffy seems to have forgotten that he tried to kill her last week. Interesting. Perhaps the effects of not sleeping with Riley since he has a heart problem are erasing her memories. Fine with me if pretty soon she can’t remember that she and Spike were enemies last season.
The Good: Riley has very little to do, praise God. The short B/S scene reminded my why I watch BTVS, and it was fun just to see Spike tell Buffy that she is not the center of the universe, though she is the current center of his universe.
The Bad:The BBEG. What is she, and why do I want to put a muzzle on her? I think it is her voice, and she wasn’t all that scary.

Family
Brief Synopsis:Buffy moves back to the Summers’ Mansion since Joyce is still having health problems. On the eve of Tara’s (who I don’t really care much about) twentieth birthday, her backwards family from out of town shows up to make her come home. Supposedly all females in that family turn into demons or something along those lines when they turn twenty. Buffy tells Giles about Dawn being the Key, but not Riley, who, like the mature adult he is, stomps of and goes vamp-chick scooping at Willy’s bar. BBEG gets some nasty marrow sucking demons to go kill the Slayer, which wouldn’t normally be a problem, except Tara cast a spell to keep the gang from seeing demons, since she might be one. This does not bode well for the gang in the Magic Box, and they rightly are getting beat up. Even Buffy it seems(for the second time in as many weeks), but because Harmony informed him of the impending demon attack, Spike helps Buffy fight the demons. (Though she cannot see it; he technically having a demon living in him. Good thing she didn’t go patrolling because she’d have been in trouble.) Tara dispels the spell in time for Buffy to kill the demons, and Tara’s family shows up with the evil xenophobic drivel about the girls and demons. Their theory is proved wrong by Spike punching Tara and getting a headache. (No demon in there.) The family stomps off much like Riley in a huff, the WB throws a big cast party at the Bronze, and tries to convince us all that Tara and Willow are a good couple. (Again, I don’t really care because they are not Buffy or Spike and therefore have no bearing on this site, except in the importance to that plot.)
Spike-centric View: While Buffy complains about her tension, and Xander tells her to go punch something, we are given a Buffy/Spike fight/sex with clothes on fantasy of Spike’s. However it’s all in Spike’s head as he . . . and Harmony . . . make good their co-dependency deal again. (They were having sex, in a scene I cannot believe the WB was able to show during primetime. On the other hand, Titans is on during primetime too.) Next we see Spike, Harmony went shopping and brought back clothes and news of the Slayer’s new enemies. Spike decides to go watch, but he helps out when he sees Buffy is going to get killed.
The Good: Spike must have matured since “Something Blue.” Instead of complaining about Buffy’s job or ‘the girl power bit,’ Spike chose to help her when he saw she needed it. He saved her life and later did something, for no particular reason, that helped Tara. No evil unfeeling demons here, except Tara’s family. Spike has made a step up from last weeks stalking. I also have to sound my approval on the scene with Dawn in the Bronze about drinking. BTVS has had several episodes about why drinking is bad, and yet, they’re drinking at the Bronze. Giles and Riley (I assume) are old enough to drink, while everyone else knows that Xander and Buffy are not. And Dawn calls them on it. Sorry, that was probably the only public service announcement you will be hearing from me, ever.
The Bad: Riley had to make up with Buffy in the end, didn’t he? He just couldn’t have stayed away? The Tara, who has no last name, family was so annoying. They were evil bigoted anti-demonists. I bet they hated new-fangled capitalism and democracy and wanted the good ole days of the Motherland and communism, too. They would have gotten along really well with Angel’s Scourge.

Fool for Love
Brief Synopsis:Riley ditches the Scooby Gang to blow up the vamp that hurt Buffy. That’s all I’m bothering to mention about that.
On to the important stuff, Buffy gets injured on patrol and decides that the best person to ask about Slayer deaths would be Spike since he killed two. At his insistence, they go on a pool-playing ‘date’ at the Bronze. Amid various arguments between the vampire and the Slayer, we are treated to seeing human Spike, called William the Bloody because his poetry sucks. After Cecily tells him that he is beneath her, William is found by Dru who vamps him. Then we find out that Angelus provides the roots of Spike’s ‘obsession’ for Slayers. The journey takes us to China during the Boxer Rebellion where he fights and bites his first Slayer, which also starts his relationship with Dru. The next Slayer is an African American Slayer in a subway car, a fight that is cut back and forth between the past with her and the present with Buffy. He puts the moves (kinda) on Buffy, causing her to tell him that he is beneath her as well. When Spike decides to go blow Buffy’s head off with a shotgun, we are let in on the secret that Spike’s feelings for Buffy are the reason Dru dumped him. He finds Buffy on her steps, crying about her mom going to the hospital, and instead of killing her, Spike sits with her on the steps and tries to comfort her by patting her on the back.
Spike-centric View:An episode all about Spike! As you noticed during the synopsis, I didn’t talk much about the Buffy/Spike interaction or the lessons he was teaching (Which is what I am going to do now). Before I start on that, Spike carries a piece of each Slayer he’s killed: the eyebrow scar from the Chinese Slayer and the duster from the New York one. Moving on, Buffy and Spike were pretty volatile during this episode to each other. Probably against her better judgment, she lets him get really close to her several times. The time that he tells her all vampires are hoping for one good day, Spike could have kissed her.
He also had two lessons to teach her. The first one was that Slayer’s must always reach for their weapons and vampires don’t. The second lesson was that Slayers reach a point where they want to die, to feel what it’s like. He tempts her with it, she quasi-succumbs, and then figures out she’s let him get too comfy. We also see there is some type of battle inside Spike: the demon that wants to kill and the human that wanted to be loved. (I am not debating the soul part here.) In the end, Spike chooses to do his best to help, not harm Buffy.
The Good:This episode almost made me cry. Which part should I babble about first? Go visit my quotes section to read some of the hauntingly deep dialogue. The whole subway/Buffy fight scene was beautifully shot and directed. Joss really played on the tension going back between Spike and Buffy. We saw a new side of Spike, and this episode connect some mysterious dangling ghost plot-threads of seasons past. (Though it will bother me til the day I die as to where Spike and Dru got their coats after having sex by the dead Slayer's body or when exactly between 1977 and 1997 Spike picked out his outfit.) There's also this awesome shot of Spike striding around right after his first Slayer kill in China as a member of the Fearsome Fanged Foursome while they city burns behind him. Almost as good is seein him with all that mascara on during the 1977 subway ride.
As a side note, which is completely non-important to this episode, Buffy made a really sweet block during her conversation with Spike. I’m in karate so Buffy did the best possible move to catch the pool stick with both wrists when Spike brought it down on her head. Watching the episode for the fifth (or fiftieth) time, I was like “Hey, cool block.” That was my personal FYI that you probably could have lived without.
The Bad: Why couldn’t Buffy have just kissed him?

Darla
Brief Synopsis:In honor of my crossover tradition, we are going to look at this episode of Angel because Spike appears in it. Since he doesn’t have an important role, this will be fast. Darla is human now, she was a whore before she was vamped, and she picked Angelus over spending her days in the sewer with the Master. In the present Darla has conflict because of her new soul, which she works off by making out and biting Lindsey McDonald. Angel gets all obsessed with helping her because he remembers what it was like to suddenly have a soul and how he suffered and how Darla didn’t help him. He is forced to rescue Darla from some (surprise, surprise) unscrupulous assassins in Wolfram and Harts employ. She asks him to make her a vampire, he refuses, and she stomps out of the hotel, to be seen again next week. We had many flashbacks that we will cover now since that his where Spike is.
Spike-centric View: Spike had a couple appearances. We watched Darla try to convince a gypsy to remove Angel’s soul in exchange for his family whom Spike has already eaten. The scene seen previously on BTVS with Spike and Dru cuddling is used again though we are now aware that Angel seems so unhappy since he has a soul. They even reuse the shot of the Fearsome Fanged Foursome again walking around China. And they reuse the scene where human Spike bumps into the Not-as-Threatening Threesome.
The Good:Good to see Spike. Good to see Dru act wacky several times, and good to see exactly why Dru picked Spike to vamp (she wanted a playmate).
The Bad:Not very much Spike. But I suspect it had something to do with the show being called “Angel.”

Shadow
Brief Synopsis: In an episode too somber to really poke holes at, Joyce and the Summers clan go to the hospital and find out that she does have brain cancer. Lots of time in the episode is spent with them waiting/fearing the answers to the questions about Joyce’s health. Egged on by Spike, we see Riley wander aimlessly and pouting as he realizes that his tiny problems are nothing to the small possibility of Buffy’s mother dying. He even goes ‘necking’ with the chick vampire from “Family” because he feels he isn’t tragic enough for Buffy. Glory, formerly known as BBEG, conjures up a Key finding snake and kicks Buffy’s ass, again. It’s made worse since Giles sold Glory the supplies to do it, the conjuring, not the ass kicking. The snake, once it searched the churches, finds Dawn in the Magic Box. In the second BTVS car chase ever, Buffy and Giles go after the stupid, fake-looking snake. Buffy kills it (a lot) and gets back to the hospital in time to hear that Joyce has cancer. Riley pouts, and everyone ignores him for being such an insensitive bore.
Spike-centric View:I guess all episodes can’t be about Spike. Following the emotional scene of Buffy and Spike on the steps last week, this week it seems that Spike has lost some of his edge and gone back to stalking by sniffing Buffy’s sweaters and stealing her underwear. Riley catches him at it and tries to throw him out of the house, but Spike, who spent the last night with (not that kind of with) Buffy knows that the Summer’s family is at the hospital.
The Good:First off, we all know who came out on top in Spike’s single scene, Spike. Riley may be able to hurt Spike physically, but Spike goes for the jugular, and nothing makes me happier than seeing someone stick it to Riley. This also starts Week I of my countdown till Riley dies/disappears/breaks up with Buffy. He’d better keep wearing those turtlenecks because Buffy sure knows what a vamp hickey looks like by now.
The Bad:Reduced to one comedy scene, and beat up by Riley. I fear I shall cry, but more because of how tastefully and sensitively the WB is handling Joyce’s illness.

Listening to Fear
Brief Synopsis:Dawn and Buffy spend time concentrating on their sick mother, who wants to return home for the two days before her surgery. A big rock falls from the sky, and an alien that crawls on ceilings and has nasty spit like James Cameron’s Aliens, and yet looks absolutely nothing like them crawls out. Its job is to kill the mentally insane by suffocating them with its spit. (Dorothea Dix spins in her grave.) The gang since they survived a hard patrol the day before decides to research the spit suffocating demon. Riley, who didn’t show up to patrol because he was getting his fix of ‘getting sucked on by almost naked undead’ instead, calls his buddies in the government to help him without telling the Scooby Gang, naturally. After killing the crazy people in the mental ward, the alien hitches a ride with Buffy and Dawn who are taking a crazy-acting Joyce for some relaxation at the Summers' Mansion. Joyce acts extremely strange and frightens Dawn, causing Buffy to reassure Dawn of her existence since it appears that crazy people are aware that Dawn is not real (though Dawn is still unaware). Therefore when the alien spits on Joyce, Joyce is very lucky that Dawn saves her. Buffy interrupts her washing dishes/crying to salsa music session to fight the alien. Spike appears from the basement, the alien attacks Spike, he kicks Buffy’s knife away by mistake, the alien attacks Buffy, Spike redeems himself by throwing her the knife, and Buffy stabs the alien to death. Riley comes in with the government as Spike is helping Buffy up. Buffy is too worried about her mother to care about Riley’s feelings. A day later at the hospital, it is revealed that Dr. Ben called the demon to clean up Glory’s mess and that Joyce knows Dawn is not real but wants Buffy to protect her anyway. The gang waits tensely as Joyce goes into surgery.
Spike-centric View: Stalking again. Buffy and Spike have another mini-argument. He helps her, calls her by name, and even does the gentlemanly thing by giving her his hand, which she, more surprisingly, accepts. I hesitate to find a big significance in this because I don’t trust Joss. They may have thrown that in to prepare us for the Spike/Riley showdown that has been building since “Buffy vs. Dracula.” The hopeful side of me says that Buffy had better notice by now that Spike has helped her out in various ways three times in the past four episodes, which is two more times than Riley has made himself remotely useful.
The Good:Week II in the countdown till the end of Finn. May he die soon and quickly. But I doubt that will happen. (So help me, if Riley harms my favorite vampire when he crashes and burns, heads will roll.) At least we can safely say, for sure, that Buffy has not slept with Riley since before “Fool for Love.” I’d place my money that he hasn’t gotten any from Buffy since that gross scene that was too traumatizing to mention in “Out of My Mind.” In “No Place Like Home” and “Family,” Buffy had been too trounced to give him any. Spike has also solved the mystery of the Summers’ Mansion basement. Dawn wasn’t down there, just junk. Maybe if Dawn had lived down there, it would be cleaner, and Spike wouldn’t have a reason to add things to his Buffy altar.
The Bad: Riley’s mere existence and vampire ‘stuff’ is grossing me out. Good thing Buffy wasn’t fighting James Cameron’s Aliens since had she stabbed the alien like that, its acid blood would have eaten right through her. The alien was okay, but it was a bit convenient that it could be slain with a simple, common kitchen knife. I suppose the Summers family could have ordered one of those neat ones that cut through cement . . .

Into the Woods
Brief Synopsis: All of the worries over Joyce were taken care of in the first five minutes because she made it through the operation just fine. Dawn has been expelled from the Summers’ Mansion for Buffy and Riley to have ‘loud obnoxious sex.’ (Which they do. Yuck.) Spike stands under the window, hating his knowledge of what is going on up there, but he sees Riley slip out and follows him to his vampire brothel. The very next night, Spike shows up in Buffy’s room, they banter about her nakedness, and he takes her to the vampire brothel. She gets ticked off beyond words to find Riley and other humans letting vampires feed off them. The next day she gathers up the gang and burns the brothel down when she finds it empty. Riley fake stakes Spike in his own crypt; they talk about the Buffy in their lives. Riley tells Buffy that he’s been offered a demon-fighting job in South America and that she’s the only one who can make him stay. Buffy lets him leave, stakes all the brothel vampires in 30 seconds, including Riley’s personal vampire whore. Xander confronts Buffy about Riley and convinces her to go stop him from leaving. Buffy runs, Riley waits, Buffy runs, Riley gets in a helicopter, Buffy runs, Riley closes the door and flies away, Buffy runs, Riley leaves, Buffy yells, A.Lite rejoices, and Buffy goes home all upset. Woo-hoo, Week III has let us see the end of Finn! (I also feel that I must mention Xander goes to Anya and tells her he loves her.)
Spike-centric View: While still slightly stalky, Spike was not listening in on the nighttime activities between Riley and Buffy, but we knew how much it hurt him to know what they were doing. Then he saw dumb Riley leave Buffy’s bed in the middle of the night. Which led to the funny scene between Spike and Buffy, where he tries to get her to come with him, but kept getting distracted by her lack of clothes. We can see that my theory about sex boosting Buffy’s memory is clear. She managed to remember that he was at her house last week when he helped her against the Alien. Maybe she should notice how nice he’s being to her now. Spike even held the door for Buffy once, shoved around a vamp that gave him lip at the brothel, and tried to comfort her after she saw Riley. The S/R confrontation finally occurred, but even after Riley not-staked him, Spike kept on top of things. He taunted Riley with the fact that Riley wasn’t the long-haul guy. Riley got all bristly and had to ask if Spike thought Buffy would go for him. Spike agreed that his chances seemed slim, but he was going try anyway.
The Good: Yeah, no more Riley! Enough said on that; Spike made my episode. Even though he was kinda staked, Spike controlled Riley. It may not take much to dominate Riley, but there is nothing like peeling off bits of someone who tried to kill you where it counted most. Spike may be physically defenseless, and yet, Riley never had a chance. (Though I would have made sure to backwash before I gave Riley the wine.) Lots of cool Spike dialogue here because he pushed lots of fun buttons, and it reaffirms my faith in S/B that Spike will continue to try even if he doubts his chances.
The Bad: That stupid plastic stake bugged me. Come on, did Riley carry that around just in case he needed to pretend to kill a vampire? Did he whittle it himself out of a Barbie or something in his spare brooding time? Don’t even start me on the fact that Spike has been pushed against that pillar for something like the fifth time this season. (Did his crypt seem emptier than usual?) Apparently my idea of an ultimatum is much different than Riley’s. “Tell me you love me, or I’m leaving” sounds a lot like an ultimatum to me. Oh well. He’s gone. Don’t let the door knock you over on the way out. I’ve already hidden the welcome mat. Don’t come back. Ever. Please.

Triangle
Brief Synopsis: Another short episode review because it was a big Xander/Anya/Willow episode. Here it is, things seem fine with Anya and Xander while Buffy, while slaying, asks a nun what its like to abjure from men. Giles leaves town to go talk to the Watcher's Council about Glory. Anya and Willow, when left in charge of the shop, conjure up a troll (formerly of ER), who was also Anya's ex-boyfriend. The troll finds Spike, post-Buffy-mannequin speaking, and Xander playing pool at the Bronze. The whole gang arrives, Buffy and Spike get beat up by the troll, and the troll knocks down half the Bronze. To Buffy’s annoyance, Spike helps tend to the wounded. Willow and Anya work out their differences over how they feel about each other and Xander in time for the troll to try to make Xander chose between the two of them. Fortunately (since the troll breaks Xander’s arm), Buffy arrives, gets help at last from Anya and Willow, but really beats up the troll when he tells Buffy that Xander/Anya will never last. Giles returns and goes to the Summers’ Mansion to inform them that they still have little information about the Key or Glory. Dawn overhears part of the conversation, so she knows they are worried about her, but not why.
Spike-centric View: The Buffy-mannequin creeps me out. Watching Spike talk to it and beat it over the head with chocolates was worth it though. I’ll get over his fixation with the Bronze’s onions. He may need a little lesson in being subtle, but being blatant is obviously not getting Buffy’s attention. Poor guy, even when he tries to do good by not eating the disaster victims, Buffy still turns him down flat, with no clue how Spike feels about her.
The Good: Spike didn’t go to the same stalking level he keeps getting to every other episode, which is good. They let us see a vulnerable Buffy, again, but she was pretty funny. Xander and Spike bonding time was worth watching, especially when the touched on the subject of Dru’s insanity. It was much more enjoyable than the Spike and he that shall remain nameless and unmissed bonding scene from last episode. We also have more support of Buffy not getting any affecting her memory. She forgot that she told Xander she didn't think he and Anya had real love, but this week she believes in them totally.
The Bad: This episode kind of annoyed me on many levels. Joyce was miraculously all healed and happy. Dawn wandered in and out of this episode all of twice in order to further her plot along. There was no real progress in the Buffy/Spike ship. I will just console myself with the knowledge that you-know-who is gone.

Checkpoint
Brief Synopsis: The Watcher’s Council has shown up in Sunnydale to review Buffy’s performance as a Slayer, in exchange for giving her information about Glory. They threaten to deport Giles, so Buffy has to go along with their plans. The Council puts Buffy through physical tests, and interviews all her friends, including Spike. To make things more complicated, Glory goes to the Summers’ Mansion and also threatens Buffy and her family. Though she was arguing with him earlier in the episode, Buffy convinces Spike to watch over Joyce and Dawn in his crypt. On her way to the Council’s last test in the Magic Shoppe, Buffy gets attacked by and kicks the asses of a bunch of Weird Knights hunting for the Key. She lets them go, gets to the test, but yells at the Watchers instead. She tells them that she doesn’t need them, but they need her so they’d better spill the beans. The episode ends with the Watcher’s revealing that Glory is no demon, but a god.
Spike-centric View: He and Buffy meet in the graveyard where she was fighting a vampire. He staked it for her and succeeded in only ticking her off at him. They argue for awhile, walking together, and Spike suggests that she can’t keep a guy’s interest. Which he promptly follows up on by walking away from her. The Watcher’s come visit him later (under cross and stake protection) and interview him about Buffy. He doesn’t paint a pretty picture, but he does care about how well Buffy is testing. Next, out of the blue (to him), Buffy needs him to protect Joyce and Dawn from Glory. Though he agrees, hilarious awkwardness insues, broken up by Joyce and Spike bonding over Passions.
The Good: I liked Buffy humbling herself, slightly, before Spike to take care of her family. She admits that he is the only one of her current friends with any combative superpowers right now. I loved seeing the Watchers try to interview Spike, too. The Lady Watcher blushing as he flirted with her was classic. She tried so hard to control herself, which must be tough around such a gorgeous British vamp.
The Bad: The Weird Knights did nothing for me. They talked like they were against Glory, but if Buffy could beat them, do they have a chance against Glory?

Blood Ties
Brief Synopsis: The episode starts with Buffy finally sharing with the Gang that Dawn is the Key. Dawn promptly notices everyone’s weird behavior and sneaks out of the house during Buffy’s birthday party. She runs into Spike, and he helps her break into the Magic Shoppe. When they find Giles’ secret notes, Dawn learns of her Keyness. She freaks out, and over the course of the next days, runs away. Buffy, after picking a fight with Spike, decides she needs his and the Gang’s help finding Dawn. However, Dawn is at the hospital, chatting it up with Ben who seems to be co-opting his body with Glory. As Dawn tries to convince Glory to spill the beans about the key, the crew converges on the hospital. Buffy and Spike fight Glory, but it is actually Willow who saves the day by teleporting Glory somewhere above Sunnydale. Dawn and Buffy comes to terms with their not-so-real-sisterness, and everyone goes home happy.
Spike-centric View: Spike did some real work during this episode. He made friends with Dawn, had a confrontation with the Slayer and was able to still stay on her good side, and got to help Buffy fight Glory. This seemed relatively good.
The Good: Spike and Buffy are on speaking terms. She even admitted that he was right about how she handled Dawn, even after he yelled at her for b*itching him out when it was her fault. Yay, chemistry!
The Bad:No real complaints. There was positive B/S interaction. They even got a truce of sorts going – she went to him for help. I could have lived without the too convenient ‘Dawn doesn’t remember Ben turning into Glory.’

Crush
Brief Synopsis: The episode opens with Spike, dressed like he stepped out of AberCrombie and Fitch, getting frozen out by Buffy at the Bronze. Meanwhile, something has arrived on a train to Sunnydale, killing a bunch of people on the train. Dawn sneaks over to spend time with Spike but figures out that he’s in love with Buffy, which she promptly tells to her disbelieving sister. Buffy spends some time trying to deal with the new knowledge by talking to Xander about how creeped out she was while exploring the crime scene on the train. Spike got her to go with him on a fake-stake out that ended with Buffy flatly rejecting his admission of love. She wouldn’t even let him say it because in her mind, soulless vampires cannot love. The pain Spike is feeling when he staggers home to his crypt is offset by the sudden reappearance of Dru, who wants him to come over to the ‘Dark’ side. They go dancing at the Bronze, and Dru kills a girl so Spike can have his first taste of human blood in over a year. Meanwhile, Buffy decides to confront Spike, but, since he’s out dining on human, he isn’t at his crypt. Buffy does discover his little Buffy-altar in the lower crypt level and gets freaked out. When she climbs out, she meets Spike and Dru, who knocks her out with a cattle prod. Have no fear because Spike double-crosses Dru and knocks her out too. He ties up Dru, chains up Buffy, admits his feelings for both of them, and contemplates killing them. Harmony interrupts by arriving and fighting Spike, while Dru escapes and starts wailing on Buffy. Spike subdues Harmony, saves Buffy from Dru (who escapes in general), and gets punched by Buffy for his trouble. Not only is he rejected again, Buffy has officially de-invited him to her house.
Spike-centric View: This episode is all about Spike. There are no other real stories going on during it, and I can’t say I’m complaining about that, though I could have lived without seeing the role-playing game between Harmony as Buffy and Spike. I had two personal favorite moments in the episode. The first one is when Spike is handed the dead girl by Dru, and he looks at her for a few seconds like he was trying to decide which path he was going to take. The second was when Buffy climbed up the ladder and sees Spike with the blood on his mouth. The way he looked at her was so spooky. For all other comments, see the crazy rant below.
The Good: Well, the feelings are in the open. He loves her and is willing to forsake all things evil. She says she hates him, very clearly. So tell me why she didn’t just stake him! Answer that one Buffy!
The Bad:My rage at this point is too powerful to express in anything under four letter words. What ARE they doing to Spike! Not only did they strip him of his dignity, Harmony, and Dru, they had to stomp any possible hope of relationship with Buffy. And Buffy – what do you think you are doing? It was okay for Angel to stalk you all the way through Season 1. He didn’t even help out until he really had to. Spike has been clearly helping you for a while now. It’s not his fault you didn’t get a clue! - CALM. CALM. - I am calm again. As you can see, I have some rage here. Serious rage. I am fine. I am calm.

I Was Made to Love You
Brief Synopsis: Some dorky guy named Warren made himself a Fembot named April and decided he didn’t want it anymore. So it wandered around Sunnydale looking for Warren and ran into the Scooby Gang. It (because I refuse to call it “April”)threw Spike through a window, beat up Warren’s new girlfriend, and fought Buffy. After Buffy beat it up, Buffy bonded with it before its batteries or something failed. How sweet because it taught Buffy the lesson that she didn’t need a guy like Dr. Ben to feel complete. Buffy went home happy, until she saw her mom laying motionless with eyes open on the couch.
Spike-centric View: Even after the major putdown Buffy gave him, Spike hung around. The two saw each other a Spring Break party and had words. Spike also had some words with the Fembot and got thrown out of a window for his trouble. Then he got dissed by the Scoobies for trying to help out and told he needed to move on. Apparently moving on is moving backward, since he gave Warren an order for his own Robo-Buffy.
The Good: I’m gonna stretch on this one. Let me see. Well, in an episode I did not like at all, it was nice to see that Spike is still alive and unstaked. If Buffy really wanted him dead, she’d have staked him. It’s true. But she must not since she just lets him live every time they meet.
The Bad: What is there to complain about, other than a thousand things? First off, must the Spike torture continue? And do we have to have Dr. Ben be Buffy’s new boy, especially since he is Glory (need I mention the frighteningness of Dr. Ben in a dress)? Thank God, Buffy cancelled the date. Don’t even make me start on the stupidness that was April. Which leads me into the wrongness that is Spike asking for his own Robo-Buffy.
On a different rant, poor Joyce. Everything was going so well . . . :(

The Body
Brief Synopsis: Joyce is dead.

Forever
Brief Synopsis: Joyce is dead, and the gang plans and attends her funeral. Buffy has a long pointless talk and kiss with guest star Angel, but the real story is in Dawn. Dawn is not coping so well, but with some secretive help from Willow, she gets ahold of a Resurrection spell. Spike finds her getting dirt from Joyce’s grave and decides to give her a hand. They visit a really creepy guy named Doc, who gives them instructions, and then, in the mandatory fight scene, Spike and Dawn steal the eggs of a demon for the final ingredient of the spell. Dawn performs the spell, focused on her mother’s picture. Buffy tries to stop the Resurrection, which leads to the two of them talking out their grief. As something knocks on the door, Buffy goes to it, but Dawn tears the picture in two, breaking the spell. The door is opened, and no one is there. The two sisters cry on the floor of the Summers’ Mansion with the door open.
Spike-centric View: He was the second major player in this episode. First he tried to leave flowers and then he became instrumental in the resurrection spell. He took Dawn to Doc and distracted the three-headed demon, though he got injured, so Dawn could get the eggs. That was a lot of sacrifice
The Good: The mystery behind Spike’s motives for the episode made it interesting to watch. The part where he tried to drop of funeral flowers and got brushed off by Willow and Xander, who found out that it was a completely unselfish act, made me wonder. It got even murkier when he agreed to help Dawn but wouldn’t let her tell Buffy. His only goal seemed to be to bring Joyce back. Spike also became cloudier too when Doc thought he was some guy that plays dominos. Confusion reigns, but that’s good.
The Bad: First of all, Angel complaint here. He acted nothing like the happy/friendly Angel I saw on ‘Angel’ that very same night. Does he have two personalities? Did he even have a purpose? No, didn’t think so. He acted a lot like a wooden post during Buffy’s scene with him. And the kiss – excuse me – Darla and commando boy ring a bell? But wait, apparently none of that existed for this scene.
I am mentioning this now – what a Monkey’s Paw rip off. It was nice that we didn’t see Joyce, but did they have to rape a classic story? My English knowledge is violently pained by this. I’m not going to even start on my revulsion of what next week’s preview showed me.

Intervention
Brief Synopsis:Shortly after ‘Forever,’ Buffy decides that she is having trouble connecting with the people she cares about. She and Giles head off into the desert from last year’s ‘Restless’ to go on a vision quest, where she meets the first Slayer and finds out that ‘Death is her gift.’ Meanwhile, Warren has finally completed the Robo-Buffy we were all hoping Spike had forgotten about. Spike spends scenes that would be hilarious acting out his fantasies with the robot, if, of course, we didn’t have to know he was actually having sex with it. The robot wanders off to go patrol, and Spike finds it talking to Xander and Anya in a graveyard. The group fights vampires, the robot tries to protect Spike, much to the delight of Glory’s demons who are watching. Xander and Anya catch Spike and Robo-Buffy going at it in the graveyard and start to freak out. The gang decides to stage an intervention for her.
Xander tries first to talk to Spike about it, but they are interupted by Glory’s demons kidnapping Spike since they think he’s the key. Back in her penthouse, Glory disagrees but decides to torture Spike to find out its location. Meanwhile, Willow tries to talk to the Robo-Buffy who continues to rejoice in her sex with Spike. Robo-Buffy returns to Spike’s crypt and finds him missing. The gang rallies and decides that they have to get Spike from Glory in order to protect Dawn. The real Buffy comes home, and twin hijinks for the second time this season ensue. As Glory continues to torture Spike, the Scoobies head out to find Glory’s lair. Spike won’t tell where the Key is, but goads Glory into knocking him away enough that he can escape. Everyone fights in the lobby, and the Robo-Buffy gets broken. As Willow talks about fixing it back at the Magic Box, Xander reveals that they put Spike back in his crypt since he was so beat up. Spike wakes up to Robo-Buffy suggesting they give up the Key so Glory can’t hurt him. Spike refuses, Robo-Buffy kisses him . . . and - TA DAH - it was Buffy all along. She tells him the Robot sucked, but what he did was real.
Spike-centric View: This was an episode all about Spike. I love this kind of episode. Spike had sex, he got kidnapped, he got beat up, and he got kissed by Buffy!!!! A real, non-bespelled kiss!!!
The Good:Again, the real kiss made the whole thing worth watching. It was also worth it to see Spike stand up to Glory and protect Dawn. The gangs' reactions where right there with how they handled ‘Something Blue’ last season. And the Robo-Buffy’s information screens were so funny to see what Spike thought of every member of the Scooby Gang.
The Bad: I hated seeing Spike do the nasty with the robot. Just the idea of Spike doing it with some plastic and computer chips . . . do I need to mention that scene where Spike is smoking and the Robot is down on its knees offscreen - Most of you got the picture.

Tough Love
Brief Synopsis: Coming Soon!

Spiral
Brief Synopsis: Coming Soon!

Weight of the World
Brief Synopsis: Short one here, Buffy is catatonic and Willow goes into Buffy’s mind to snap her out of it. She meets various Buffys doing everything from killing Dawn, to seeing Joyce bring home a baby, to putting a book back to visiting the first Slayer. Finally it is revealed to Willow that Buffy thinks she killed Dawn by giving up on Dawn when she was putting the book back. Willow tells her to get over it.
While this is going on, Spike is the only one who can remember that Ben is Glory. He takes Xander with him to see Doc, who turns out to be a Glory-worshipper. Xander stabs Doc with a sword, Spike gets Doc’s box of secret scrolls, but Doc isn’t dead. At the future home of a dimensional portal, Dawn puts up with Dr. Ben and Glory sliding back and forth between the same body until Ben finally goes over to Glory’s side. Giles reads the scrolls to the gang and discovers that the only way to stop Glory from using Dawn to dissolve the gates between dimensions is to kill Dawn.
Spike-centric View:There was no Buffy/Spike interaction, except where Spike tries to shake her out of the catatonia. He also had to replay the same ‘Ben-is-Glory’ speech over and over again with the gang. At least Willow agrees that Spike is right about Buffy -snap out of it.
The Good: The episode was okay, I guess. It was a filler episode before the finale and all of us knew it. Nice to know that Doc has a long tongue.
The Bad: I don’t like Glory or Dr. Ben very much, so most of that episode was wasted time to me. Am I allowed to complain about whatever bookish-Buffy was wearing? It was really ugly.

The Gift
Brief Synopsis: This synopsis won’t make very much sense because so much happened in the episode. Here are my personal highlights. Buffy refuses to even consider killing Dawn; she would rather let the world end, and this drives a wedge between her and Giles. Spike gets reinvited into the Summer’s Mansion, and Buffy makes him promise to protect Dawn. They share a Moment here where he admits his feelings, but Buffy doesn’t reject him like before. She doesn’t say anything. Anya and Xander get engaged, and Willow is the one who does major damage to Glory by stealing Tara’s mind back. RoboBuffy and the real Buffy individually fight Glory to delay her from starting the ritual as the gang fights all of Glory’s remaining demons and loonies. Buffy beats Glory up until she turns into Dr. Ben, and Buffy gets him to promise Glory will never reemerge. His promise isn’t good enough for Giles because Giles suffocates Dr. Ben as soon as Buffy leaves. Since Glory is going to miss the all important moment, Doc, in spite of Spike’s heroism, cuts Dawn up on top of the future home of a dimensional portal. Lots of other dimensional stuff is getting zapped into being, but Buffy won’t let Dawn commit suicide. Buffy does it instead since they do have the same blood after all. She whispers this speech to Dawn as her body falls to the ground and the gang begins to grieve. (but we all know she‘ll be back next year on UPN)

I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles ... tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world ... is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.