Spike glanced over at the silent passenger beside him as he continued the drive to LA. Xander was starring out through a crack in the blackened window, studiously ignoring the vampire. It figured it would have to be he and the sissy doing this.

The girls had been busy with their finals, Amy had been the best researcher left of those that were available, and Oz would be having the full moon to worry about in a couple nights. That had left Spike and Xander to send off to LA to make sure Angel was still a wuss and, if he wasn't, to help Wesley and Cordelia restrain him until Willow could come over to try doing the curse again.

Unfortunately, the normally chatty young man was still angry over the whole absence of implant hindrance that Buffy had finally shared with everyone while Spike had gone off to retrieve his car.

Sighing to himself, Spike had to wonder why he even cared what the boy thought. During the first hour of the drive, Spike had reasoned that it was the conversing he missed in the tension filled silence. Now, however, he was beginning to wonder.

It wasn't even as if he'd ever liked the gangly youth - he'd said it himself way back when, Xander wasn't even worth his time or energy to bite. Yet now that the two suddenly weren't carrying on their usual inane conversations, Spike actually realized that whatever he had thought of the Harris boy early on, somewhere along the way, as with the Slayer, some dark recess of his - some dark corner of him - had liked the acceptance he'd known over the last few years. Even the acceptance he'd received from Xander.

The hows and whys of this new revelation where driving him batty. He had been thinking things over, and with the Slayer, he could almost rationalize that she'd always been a turn on for him; whether it was watching her fight, fighting her, or fighting with her, their violence had always aroused him, and beyond that even, there was some measure of respect that had developed between them. Even if it weren't for the fighting, she was honestly a beautiful young woman - all the more so, if she wasn't also the one destined to kill him and his kind, but that was another story altogether.

So evolving feelings of hate with her, he was almost beginning to accept. But Xander? They'd hung out sometimes, he supposed, when the girls were off doing whatever it was girls did on 'girls night', but even then, he'd been thinking of the various ways he could kill the mortal, not 'bonding', as Xander had seemed to have done with him.

Spike wasn't blind, he knew that Xander and Oz weren't overly chummy outside of the slaying-related activities; it also didn't take a genius to see that Xander hadn't had a close male friend in quite a while. So, yes, Spike had taken advantage of the boy's subconscious offerings of friendship, deciding that it would make killing the lanky young man all the easier later. After all, Xander had been jumping for the stakes and crosses, or the ropes and chains, that first year Spike had stayed with the group.

Earning Xander's trust was his assurance that he wouldn't meet with a pathetic end because Harris had gotten a lucky shot in with a stake or cross-bow.

"Why didn't you kill us all before Dru 'kidnapped' you?" Xander asked suddenly, breaking the silence, though his gaze remained fixed on the window.

This was the perfect opportunity to insert a good, wholesome, sentimental, soul- gripping lie about how the moral dilemma of the situation had convinced him that he really and truly liked the slayerettes... "I wanted to kill Buffy first - I wanted a fight with her, and she was otherwise incapacitated." his mouth spewed out instead.

Silently cursing his mouth for ignoring the signals from his brain, he fumed, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. That was really going to earn the whelp's trust.

Another spell of silence descended upon them, Spike cursing himself the entire time, cursing himself for not taking the opportunity to indulge in a little white lie that would have certainly eased the current tension in the car, and cursing himself for actually caring one way or the other what the boy thought. He was a vampire, a demon, completely soulless with no desire to ever find himself in possession of one...

"But you really don't want to kill us anymore?" Xander asked again, as Spike was getting off onto the exit ramp.

The 'no' was on the tip of his tongue, when a 'yes' suddenly also started forming. Pursing his lips, Spike actually took a moment to think that statement through and hesitated. If in the end he decided he wanted as far away from Sunnydale as he could possibly get himself, would he want to leave the group dead before he left? The answer surprised him slightly. No.

It wasn't for a lack of wanting to kill - because that he wanted to do in spades - in fact the burning desire to make up for all those lost years was eating him up inside. No matter what he may want, for Buffy, for himself, heck even for Xander or Giles, or Willow... at the end of the day, he was what he was. He did not have that same desire to kill the Slayer or her friends as he once did, but he would eventually start killing again. It was what he did. It was what he was. But when - and there was no 'if' in his mind about that future - so when the call within him became too great, he would leave. Leave, and let the group of mortals that had somehow touched something he hadn't even known existed within him live.

"No, I don't want to kill you anymore." Spike answered, meeting Xander's gaze, slightly surprised that the young man had actually turned to look at him.

Xander nodded, the wall of distrust disintegrating. "Okay, let's go check up on fang face then." he said, rubbing his hands together, "-er, fang face Sr. that is." Xander corrected.

Spike stared at the sudden change the young man's demeanor had taken and chuckled lightly. He'd never understand Xander Harris, but as long as things between them weren't going to be as tension filled as the ride to LA had been, he'd be happy. After all, it might prove useful to have an ally in the Angel-bashing department - so long as the older vampire's soul was still securely in place.

"What say we go stop for a drink before we face the poof?" Spike suggested, as he pulled over into a metered-parking spot.

"Hmm, get good and snookered before having to deal with Deadboy? -Sr, that is?" Xander asked eagerly. "Sounds like a plan to me."

Grinning, the two got out of the car, "Angel's place is just a couple blocks away, we'll hoof it from here, or the high and mighty one will lecture us for the rest of the night on safe drinking practices." Spike drawled, as they headed in.

They took a seat at the bar and ordered their drinks, one soon becoming two, then three, as they both delayed having to move on. Yet another irony, Spike thought as popped the cap from a fresh bottle; send the two that like Angel the least, to help him. He shook his head in incomprehension.

"You know what?" Xander declared out of the blue, his words just beginning to slur, "I like honesty."

Spike raised an eyebrow, wondering where this was going to lead. "You do?" he repeated. The alcohol hadn't begun affecting him yet, but he had no doubt that he had a much higher tolerance level than Xander - who, as far as Spike knew, rarely took to much drinking.

"Yep." Xander nodded, before tipping his glass in Spike's direction, spilling some of it's contents as he did so, "-and you were honest tonight. I like that."

"Uh, good." Spike replied, deciding, given the young man's increasingly drunken state to take the slight insult as a compliment. There didn't appear to be any other demons in this particular bar at the moment, so Spike wasn't too worried about his reputation...

"Now with Angel, it was all like: 'are you gonna kill usss?'" he asked this in his regular voice, "'this is the mouth of Hell'." Xander imitated, puffing out his chest and deepening his voice in an exaggerated Angel impression as he answered his own question. Spike chuckled, silently mouthing 'water' to the bartender that had come to refill Xander's glass.

"Or, or, or, teacher-parent night, me'member?" Xander asked, slapping the counter top, "It was like, 'let's see if Spike is really evil - Xander come here.'" again he puffed his chest out and deepened his voice. "'What're we doin' Angel?'" he asked in his normal, slightly slurred voice. "'Never mind - Spike, come feast on Xander-blood.'" by this time, he had the mug in a sloppy imitation of a neck hold, and was motioning for Spike to take a drink. Spike bit his tongue to keep from laughing at the scene before him, "You realize," Xander pointed out in his normal voice again, "-if hadn't yousss sucker punched Angel, he would've me killed, right?" the boy scratched his head and frowned, "-Spike would've killed me if Angel sucker punched me..."

"I don't think the big sap would've really let me bite you." Spike pointed out, trying to recall that night. He remembered the confrontation with his sire just fine, but he'd forgotten that it had been Xander that Angel had used as bait.

"Yeah, you wouldn't have let me bite him!" Xander agreed, then blinked and frowned again. "But then, when we trust him again, he dies." Xander sobbed out sadly, "-in hell, he dies." The look of sadness faded, "-but he kills ya first, so s'okay."

"Right." Spike agreed blindly, quickly losing track of Xander's train of thought, he finished what was left of his own drink, then layed a few bills on the counter. "-and now it's time to face the big ponce."

"Ooh, pounce on the ponce... weee should ponce on the pounce!" Xander exclaimed. Spike nodded gingerly, making a small note not to let the boy have more than one bottle, or less, should he ever try this again.

Xander rose on slightly wobbly feet, and Spike mentally groaned - why was he even thinking of a next time?

Grabbing the mortal's arm to steady him, Spike led them out into the night, and down the street towards Angel Investigations. Glancing at the drunk mortal at his side, he silently wondered if maybe he shouldn't have had a few more drinks himself. Then shook his head. There was actually a good possibility that something had gone wrong with Angel's soul - despite Cordelia's insistences that everything was still normal.

"Pounce and prick." Xander was murmuring, his eyes lighting up as he tapped on Spike's shoulder incessantly, "-oh, oh, oh, prick him. We'll prick on the prick, cause he's a prick, right? A big prick..."

"The biggest one on my side of the life spectrum." Spike agreed dryly.

As they neared the correct building, Spike soon found himself hoping that his sire was indeed still souled. The unsouled version he'd been reunited with six years ago, had definitely had a few issues that hadn't been there pre-curse days. Namely, he was completely psychotic - no trace whatsoever of the relatively cultured and controlled demon he'd been before the gypsies.

This wasn't the Hellmouth after all - he could hope.

Buffy sighed as she flopped down on her bed and covered her face with her hands. One exam done, only three left to go. Only. She groaned.

"Went that well, huh?" Willow asked, turning from the books on her desk to greet her friend.

"It went." Buffy mumbled. "-and my marks are leaving with it too. Off into land of oblivion, never to return again."

"Well, on the bright side, you have three more." Willow spoke up, rising from the desk to sit on her bed across from Buffy.

Buffy removed her hands from her face and glared at the red-head, "How exactly is having three more finals to worry about a 'bright side'?"

Willow shrugged, suddenly looking slightly embarrassed, "It means you have three more chances to do good?" she offered, "-you know, so you can end on a high note."

Shaking her head at Willow's unique brand of logic, Buffy brought her hands back up to her face and groaned, "Yay me." she cheered half-heartedly, her voice muffled by her hands, a small smile playing on her lips despite herself. Leave it to Willow to be able to see that kind of 'bright side'.

"Hey, I have an idea!" Willow exclaimed, standing and rummaging under Buffy's bed. Before the Slayer could muster the courage to ask what that idea might entail, a familiar object was dropped on her stomach.

Looking down at the stake, Buffy raised her eyebrows with interest, then looked up at a triumphantly smiling Willow.

"Slaying always cheers you up." her best friend informed her proudly, "So let's go out there and... slay!"

Sitting up, Buffy grabbed a hold of the stake and started for the door, then caught sight of Willow's open books on the desk and stopped. "Are you sure?" she asked, turning to face her friend, "I'm not dragging you away from..." not wanting to have to say the 's' word, she gestured towards the open books.

Grinning, Willow reached for the books on her desk and slapped them closed, "I'm good." she assured confidently. She murmured a brief protection chant before they left, then linked her arm through Buffy's as the two girls made their way out of the dorm and into the night, giving Buffy an innocent look, "But I do want the full scoop on the you and Spike thing."

Startled, Buffy glanced over at the young witch and feigned confusion, "What me and Spike thing?" she asked, trying to put a look of disgust on her face, "There is no me and Spike thing." She'd told the group that she'd spent the night with Spike, and that Spike was no longer affected by the chip, and that she and Spike had come to a new agreement in which he'd continue keeping his fangs to himself, but nowhere in there had she in any way indicated that she was feeling anything towards their vampire ally.

In response Willow raised a single brow in an I-don't-believe-you look and silently waited. Buffy was determined to hold her ground though, "There is no me and Spike thing." she insisted again.

Rolling her eyes, then nodding towards the side of her neck, Willow shook her head, "And if I told you there was a fresh hickey on your neck that said otherwise?"

Eyes widening in horror, Buffy disentangled her arm from Willow's and immediately searched her neck with her fingers, already feeling the flush working up her cheeks. When had Spike had a chance to...? Since she couldn't recall him getting anywhere near her neck, he must have done it while she'd been sleeping - she was so gonna beat him up when he got back from LA...

"Aha!" Willow exclaimed, pointing at Buffy triumphantly, "See, you and Spike thing!"

Feeling the heat in her cheeks rise even higher, Buffy slowly lowered her arm, "Very sneaky Wills." she scowled.

"So fess up," Willow persisted, "-I want details."

Sighing in defeat, Buffy finally relented, "Just don't tell anyone yet..." she requested reluctantly, "I'm not even sure I know what's going on yet."

She didn't have the faintest clue what she should or would do about the her and Spike thing either. Spike's initial response to her panicked confession hadn't exactly been... encouraging... an 'I love you too', would have been far more reassuring, however unrealistic, than his 'why?'.

Still, there was a very real possibility that he didn't even remember exactly what she'd said. He knew something significant had happened - had changed - between them in those few seconds before the sun cleared the horizon, that much had been obvious in his eyes, but if he couldn't remember what exactly she had whispered just before he'd passed out...

"Buffy, look out!!" Willow's voice called out to her, a second before she was tackled to the ground.

Instinctively snapping into action, she rammed her elbow into her attacker's stomach and scrambled back to her feet. It was only then that she realized she'd just elbowed Willow. Opening her mouth to apologize, she quickly shut it again and dove for the vampires closing in on the two girls.

Without wasting her time or her breath on the three vamps, she did away with them quickly, silently cursing Spike for distracting her so entirely while she was supposed to be focussed on her patrol. She'd lashed out against her best friend instead of the vampires for goodness sake! She'd never done that before - not even when she'd been head over heels obsessed with Angel!

"Oh, Willow!" Buffy gasped, rushing to the red-head's side as their attackers' remains settled to the ground. "I am so sorry... I was just so spaced..."

Rubbing her stomach, Willow managed a weak smile, "S'okay, just remind me conjure a strong wind next time I plan to knock you to the ground."

"No, it's not okay," Buffy shook her head, helping her friend back to her feet, "I could have seriously hurt you..."

"Yeah, but you didn't... still, that protection spell I cast before we left; remind me to do a stronger one next time we go out togther." Willow joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Buffy managed a small, guilty grin and resolutely pushed all Spike-thoughts from her mind, determined not to think about where that unlikely relationship was headed until she was back in her dorm room.

"But don't think this gets you off the hook, I'm still waiting for the uncut, unedited, you and Spike thing." the young witch warned.

Buffy sighed, guilt fuelling her words as she slowly tried explaining the feelings even she couldn't quite sort out.

Angel opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, instantly sensing that something was not quite right. He had a series of blank spots in his memories of what had occurred that previous night, and where there weren't blank spots, there were definitely some disturbing false memories.

Something shifted on the mattress to his right, and he stiffened, his gaze still inexplicably transfixed on the ceiling. Those memories of last night... they were false - they had to be... after all, it wasn't like Dru had really come to him... and even if she had, he wouldn't have really given in to her lust-induced seduction...

Fighting for control, he slowly turned his head, determined to see nothing but rumpled sheets and empty space, despite the knowledge he could feel coursing through his veins that he'd find a body... and not just any body... her body...

She was still asleep, looking strangely peaceful and relaxed, much more so than the desperate image of lust, anger and fear that she had been the previous night. No, now she looked much more like the frail, innocent, mortal girl he had spent weeks terrorizing and stalking... unbidden a small smile touched his lips, before a knot of guilt wound up in his chest at the memories, chasing away the brief satisfaction that had irrationally touched him. He turned away from her and sat up, swinging his legs off the side of the bed and pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes.

What was going on with him? Wesley had assured him that aside from a few slightly abnormal episodes, none of which he could clearly remember, there hadn't appeared to be anything 'Angelus' about him. But something had changed... no matter what Wesley believed, Angel could feel it. That precarious balance that had existed within him, separating the soul from the demon, granting the soul marginal dominance... something had been altered somehow.

Standing, Angel reached for his pants and shirt, casting one last look at the childe still blissfully asleep in his bed and headed for the stairs. Pausing on the first step, he tuned back around, wondering if he shouldn't secure the vampiress down somehow before leaving her alone down here. But she wouldn't be able to do much damage, even left unbound - she was weak... again.

Deciding to just leave her be for now, pushing the questions as to why exactly she'd suddenly appeared in his quarters and why she was so weak from his mind, he trudged up the stairs, certain that no one would have arrived at the office yet and grateful for the solitude and quiet he knew he'd find up there.

He opened the door, only to be met with a stale stench of alcohol, a crossbow pointed at his chest from his office door, and Spike sitting casually on the edge of Cordelia's desk.

Granted, life since moving to LA had never exactly been dull for him, but this was pushing it, especially in his currently confused state.

"Xander, put that thing down before you hurt yourself. Spike, what are you doing here?" he snapped, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him, his surprise and confusion quickly giving rise to irritation.

Why hadn't someone called ahead to warn him that these two were heading down for a visit? - In fact, why were these two here at all? They both tended to avoid him like the plague whenever he was in Sunnydale. Frowning at the cross-bow that remained carefully trained on him then at the stake Spike was restlessly tapping against his palm, another question surfaced: why were they looking like they were ready to attack him?

Ignoring Xander, Angel studied Spike, trying to get a read of the situation from the younger vampire, but all he saw was a cool, suspicious gaze directed back at him. Surely they wouldn't be stupid enough to try attacking... aside from the fact that Buffy would skin them both, he'd be only too happy to tear them limb from limb if they dared try anything.

His gaze shifted to Xander as his anger rose, how long had he wanted that imbecile dead? Visions of snapping the boy's flimsy neck were soon replaced by trickles of blood dripping down to the floor as the mortal slowly bled to death from the numerous wounds that could be inflicted by the very weapon in his hands.

Xander cast an uncertain glance towards Spike, diverting Angel's attention to the blonde vampire who was now pushing himself away from the desk... yes, Spike, Angel had to bite back a growl of rage there - what kind of vampire would so willingly go against his own as Spike had these last few years? What kind of childe of his would ally himself with that whore of a Slayer...

Blinking in shock at his own thoughts, Angel staggered backwards a step, and looked down, ashamed. His demon liked taunting him, his demon liked twisting his emotions around until he wasn't sure what he wanted or didn't want, his demon liked preying on his pain, his demon was always right there below the surface... but this, this wasn't the way things had been before. It was almost as if the demon's whispers had increased in volume and force.

"Um... Spike?" Xander's voice interrupted Angel's musings. Looking up, he noticed a sudden look of uncertainty on Spike's face as well.

The cross-bow in Xander's hands was still trained on the ensouled vampire, but the young man's attention was not. Reigning in his darker thoughts and emotions, Angel looked back over at Spike.

"I suppose you're here to explain why Dru suddenly showed up on my doorstep last night." he guessed, gauging the younger vampire's reaction. Spike glanced up at him, surprise clearly written across his features. If nothing else, Angel was instantly sure that Spike hadn't known his former love was here.

"Here?" Xander repeated, equally surprised. The young man looked over at Spike again, motioning with the cross-bow towards the lift, "What are we waiting for then? Let's go find out what she did."

"What she did?" Angel asked suspiciously, manoeuvring himself between the advancing boy and the lift. He was beginning to get the distinct impression that they knew something he didn't - and he was willing to bet that it had something to do with the strange episodes he'd been having lately.

Hesitating, and looking slightly guiltily back at Spike, whose gaze was still fixed on Angel, Xander kept his mouth shut.

"No one's going anywhere until someone starts explaining what this is all about." Angel decided aloud after another brief spell of tense silence descended between the three of them.

"Dru... may have tried casting a spell that would lift your curse," Spike finally relented, advancing towards him, "-good-bye soul - without the perfect happiness becoming an issue."

Angel swallowed as the disjointed and fractured memories from his 'black-out' periods suddenly began making sense. But he was still in charge of things here... the demon may be scratching closer to the surface right now, but it didn't have full control either...

"I still have my soul." Angel finally managed to inform them, stepping aside nonetheless to allow them to pass. "How long does it take for the curse to be lifted?"

Spike looked away from him then, as he and Xander entered the lift, Angel following behind them. "We might have a better idea of what's going on if we can figure out just what spell it is exactly that Dru found." The younger vampire finally answered. Angel closed his eyes as the lift began its descent; they didn't know... they didn't even know what Dru had done let alone how successful it would be. A heavy feeling of dread settled in the pit of his stomach.

Buffy sighed and leaned back in her chair as she realized that she'd been reading the same paragraph for the last fifteen minutes now, and still had no clue what it said.

How was she supposed to get any studying done with the uncertainty of Angel's condition hanging over her head like this... to say nothing of the confusion she was trying to sort with regards to where she and Spike stood with things.

Angel would always have a special place in her heart, she would always love him, she would always care for him, nothing would ever change that - no one would ever change that, she knew that with a certainty. But over the last four years, she'd also come to realize that she could never be with Angel the way she'd once thought they were destined to be.

She'd been young and naive in high school, believing that it must have been fate that would cause her to fall so completely in love with one of her natural enemies - that destiny had dictated that Angel be granted a soul so that he'd be able to love her and protect her like no other ever could. In the arms of a mortal, she was vulnerable, in her arms, any mortal was at risk; but with Angel, he was like a blanket of protection from the rest of the world, with him, she never had to worry about jeopardizing his safety because of her calling. He'd seemed so perfect for her at the time that it had been inevitable that she fall in love with him.

But she'd been blind. Instead of considering the intricacies and nature of his curse, she'd seen it as a blessing; her blessing, and in the end they'd unleashed the demon once again.

Even after Acathala, she'd dared to hope though - fully knowing that their one time together would truly be their only time together, she'd refused to let go of the lifeline he'd become. She'd needed his strength, his support, his love.

It wasn't until he'd left for LA that she'd had a chance to really see that the only destiny that they had was that they would always remain apart. At every turn their love had come with great prices, no matter what they tried, or how hard they tried, one or both, or sometimes outside third and fourth parties, would invariably get hurt somewhere along the way. That wasn't right. If they were really meant to have been together, something somewhere would have gone right for them. Love brought pain, love brought hurt, love brought heart-ache and misery - but not all the time - not at every turn, down every road, around every corner. Yet with them, it hurt to be together, it hurt to be apart, it hurt to see or hear each other, it hurt to remain distant.

Funny how it had taken her until after her failed relationship with Riley to see that though.

Riley.

The reason Angel had left her in the first place.

To have a normal life, to have a normal relationship... what exactly was 'normal' though?

She'd actually looked that word up in a dictionary once, it had said something like: conforming to a standard; regular, usual, typical. She'd laughed.

Did that make her friends abnormal then? She had taken a good look around her after that: her mentor was formerly a part of a secret society the rest of world knew nothing about; her best friend was a blossoming witch; her other best friend had been possessed by a hyena spirit, stalked by more demons than anyone else she'd ever known, and was currently dating an ex-demon; of all possible places on this planet to move to, her mother had chosen the town that was home to an active Hellmouth, her first boyfriend in this town had been a vampire; she was now working closely with two other witches, a werewolf, a former vengeance demon, and a vampire who had spent nearly a year trying to kill her. -and when she really considered Riley's place in her life, taking away the uncertainty of the chemical and genetic alterations and enhancements he'd been subjected to; how normal was dating a guy who was an active member of a military funded secret government project determined to study and attempt controlling demons and various otherworldly elements?

Nothing in her life since first finding out about her calling had been 'normal' if compared to the rest of society at large. So she'd come to the decision that 'normal', for her, ultimately fated her to eventually seek out the super-natural whether as friends or confidants, boyfriends or lovers. 'Normal' in her life was going to school like every young person would, then doing a quick round of the town after dark, slaying the evil out there that demanded her attention and returning home in time to go to bed and rest up for the following day. Angel's 'normal' would never exist for her - not for lack of wanting, but simply because she was the Slayer - because fate had already seen to it that even without her Slayer powers, she'd seen and done and known too much to ever be able to fall into the average Joe-citizen's 'normal' life.

In that light, falling in love with yet another vampire - even a soulless one - suddenly didn't seem like such an oddity. She shook her head as she rubbed her eyes and tried to re-focus on her open textbook and notes.

There were upwards of 6 billion people inhabiting this planet, and about half of them had to be female - which meant that of 3 billion people, she had turned out to be the lucky one slammed with the combined blessings and burdens that came with being the Slayer. To top it all off, of all the Slayers ever born in Slayer history, she was probably the only one to ever fall in love with not one, but two vampires in her short lifetime.

She chuckled lightly at the thought, and the unlikely odds. Maybe she should have majored in math instead of psych.

Dru screamed and struggled as Angel continued holding her down to the bed, allowing Xander to secure her tightly with the chains and ropes the older vampire had retrieved earlier. Turning away from the scene, Spike stepped back outside the bedroom, half of him wanting to run to his princess' side to comfort and protect her, the other half just wanting to stomp in there and gag her already.

Closing his eyes as she began sobbing out Angel's name, pleading and begging for her daddy to make her better and strong again, Spike headed for the stairs leading out and quietly slipped into the night air, digging a cigarette from his pocket as he stood beside the building and closed the door to the cries of the vampiress he'd spent the better part of this last century loving.

As he took a deep drag on his smoke and listened to the wail of a siren somewhere off in the distance, a brief feeling of something foreign passed through him. He knew he was the one responsible for her current state of weakness - knowing he didn't have it in him to kill her directly, he had made sure that her wounds would be severe enough that she wouldn't recover to full strength again - but it wasn't regret that he was feeling. Guilt? Not exactly...

With a sigh, he gave up trying to analyze himself, wishing instead that the Slayer were here - what he wouldn't give for a good argument or fight to distract him right now. He smiled, he had to admit, if nothing else, she was fun, challenging, strong, witty, deadly, graceful, beautiful... what was there not to like when...

Shaking his head incredulously, he wondered where that thought had come from. Now he was admitting to liking the Slayer. Great, he'd officially gone completely insane, before he knew it, he'd probably be wishing to shag her senseless too... feel her strong, powerful body beneath him as he showed her new heights of passion, watching her face as he buried his fingers within her folds, bringing her to one frenzied orgasm after another, kissing her full and succulent lips, tasting her, touching her, having her...

With a groan, Spike quickly shook his head, dropping his cigarette butt and crushing it out before leaning back against the cool brick behind him. That did it. He was finished. He actually wanted her. Not just to be here with him, but to be here "with" him. -and not only was she not here... with... him, he was going to be stuck in one small inclosed space with his ex, his soulfull sire, and the his least favourite human of the whole pathetic slaying team, for the rest of the night and the better part of tomorrow.

His unlife really sucked.

Yet, if she really had admitted to lo... to wanting him, in those pre-dawn seconds before he'd lost consciousness... Could they really have a shot at something? He tried picturing that brief moment, when he thought he'd heard that desperate confession, feeling her arms gently cradling him, her hot tears dripping down onto his neck and chest... he was so sure she had told him... Why? Banging his head against the wall, Spike groaned again. He'd asked why. She had admitted to... to... loving him... and he had asked why. What kind of moronic, idiotic reply was 'why'??

Well then, that basically answered his question. He had no shot with her at all. Which, when he thought about it was basically a given anyway, he didn't have a soul, he wouldn't be able to give up hunting forever, he didn't even have an overwhelming desire to help the helpless and protect the innocent, or whatever sappy moto it was that Angel was using these days...

Sighing and straightening once again, he leaned in towards the door, noticing that Drusilla's struggling seemed to have calmed somewhat, and dared to open the door and let himself back in. Unfortunately, he would not be able to hide outside forever.

Xander was flaked out on the sofa by the time he made it back down the stairs, and Angel was putting down coffee like a half-starved fledgling would blood. Spike snorted as he pushed his thoughts of the Slayer to the back of his mind and sat at the table across from his sire.

"I think I can see your already dead liver dying." he commented, as Angel refilled his cup and downed it.

"I think the demon can only surface when I'm on the verge of falling asleep." the older vampire explained, ignoring the sarcastic remark.

Spike raised an eyebrow with amusement, "Ah, so by consuming a human drink that's doing absolutely nothing for you, you think you stand a better chance of staying awake." he nodded sagely.

Angel glared at him from over the rim of his cup, then poured himself another cup. "It's all psychological." he muttered, before falling silent again.

"If you say so." Spike shrugged, "But if you ask me, I think tying you down somewhere good and tight would do a better job of keeping your demonic half in check."

Xander's head popped up over the edge of the sofa then, "Amen to that brother!" he seconded, before falling back down and closing his eyes.

Angel only rolled his eyes and stood to pour more water in his coffee maker.

Buffy hung up the phone, her shoulders slumping as she turned to face Giles.

"I take it they haven't been able to get anything useful from Drusilla." Giles guessed as she plopped herself back into the chair she'd been occupying across from him before the phone had rung.

"No." Buffy sighed, letting her forehead fall to the table. "Spike said they'd keep trying though."

"I'm sure between Angel and Spike, one or the other will eventually succeed in getting something useful out of her." Giles tried reassuring her, inwardly noting how worn out his Slayer seemed to have become lately.

At first, he'd assumed it had been due to the pressures of her finals, but the more he thought about it... the more he thought about that scuffle he'd had with Spike... "Perhaps..." he started into the silence, before hesitating a moment. How on earth could he possibly broach this subject diplomatically? After all, there was a possibility that he'd been reading too much into the situation... "Is there something you haven't told me... about Spike?" he tried instead.

Buffy stiffened slightly - or was that just his imagination... finally she groaned.

"Willow promised not to tell..." he heard her mutter under her breath before raising her head from the table top. "Is there no part of my life that can stay private?" she asked in a louder voice with exasperation.

Still not altogether sure where this was headed - a very large part of him very sure that he did not want to know where it was headed either, Giles looked down into his empty tea cup, "Not when it comes to your safety, no." he answered. Meeting her blank stare, he sighed and took a gamble, inwardly hoping that he had merely jumped to conclusions. "Spike cannot be completely trusted - he can never be - surely you know that." he began, unsure if he should feel satisfied or horrified as Buffy's shoulders slumped with guilt. "Buffy, he is and always will be a killer..."

"Yeah, but..."

"No!" Giles put his foot down firmly, before she could try arguing the vampire's case. "I know he promised to stay and help us, and he's also agreed to refrain from killing - I gave him my blessing for all intents and purposes, so long as he upheld his end of the bargain. But history has shown that there has never been anything good that ever came of human-vampire alliances." He resolutely forced himself not to bring up Angel, knowing that it would only serve to upset Buffy past the point of rationalization, "No matter how hard they try, they cannot give up the call for blood and death." he added in a softer voice.

Buffy stared at him in silence for a moment, wild emotions flying through her eyes before finally asking, "That's what your Watcher books say?"

Having expected an argument, or at the very least and outburst of denial, he sat back - perhaps she had finally matured... "Well, yes." he nodded, he was still silently congratulating her ability to see reason when she burst out laughing. He frowned.

"Of course," she shook her head, "-what else would those books say? 'Our research has shown that not all vampires are Angelus-evil - some actually seem less inclined to violence and prefer long midnight strolls along the beach while sipping pigs blood and contemplating the mysteries of life'?" She stopped laughing as she sat up and gave him a hard look, "Your Watcher books paint one picture, and only one picture." she insisted, "They can only afford to paint that one picture, I'll give them that - but you've said so yourself; I've lasted longer than most, therefore I've seen more than most." she continued, her eyes still boring into his, "Most slayers only last a couple years - they can't afford to play the moral dilemma game while some vamp is going in for the kill - heck, I can't afford that either - but we both know that not all demons are all-out evil, so who's to say all vampires are?"

It took a minute for Giles to find his voice again as he let her words sink in. There was, he had to admit, a certain truth to her words. Slayers had to believe - had to know that vampires were a real threat, a deadly threat, only a threat... how else would they be able go out every night and efficiently do their duty if they were constantly questioning whether they'd run into a 'good' vampire or an 'evil' one?

Shaking his head, Giles brought himself back to the argument, this was a pointless argument anyways, the Council had not made note of any 'good' vampires, and if there were such a thing, as ludicrous as it sounded, they were sparingly few and far between and... "Spike." Giles reminded them both. "Spike - do you remember how he earned that name? - I can assure you he wasn't contemplating the mysteries of life - perhaps the mysteries of ending lives..." Buffy opened her mouth, but he held up a hand stopping her. "That's not even the point. There are degrees of evil out there, I'll grant you that, and perhaps demons, vampires - Spike - are capable of... changing... but what if he can't? Even if he refrains from killing you - from killing us, can you justify the deaths of the other innocent people that he will undoubtedly kill?"

For a moment they both stared at each other defiantly, neither willing to give in. At long last, Buffy reluctantly looked away, her head downcast.

Approaching voices, followed by the sound of the lift descending, finally caused the vampire still seated at the kitchen table to open his eyes. Blinking several times to clear the drowsy fog from his mind, he sat up just as the doors clanged open and Cordelia and Wesley emerged.

"...and I can't exactly say; 'hey, come over, we'll talk, you can meet my phantom roommate...'" Cordelia was saying as the pair came into the kitchenette. "...and, Angel! What happened to you? You look like you've been dead for..." she trailed off as she realized where the statement was headed and to whom exactly it was being directed, "...I mean, you look way deader than usual." she amended instead, picking up the coffee pot and giving its contents a sniff.

Why Angel put up with this airhead, he had no idea - and nothing would be more satisfying at the moment than watching her bleed all over big wimpy's carefully maintained floor, but the knowledge that acting out that desire would only serve to banish him back into the far depths of this body's mind stopped him.

"Good morning to you too." he forced out instead, trying to look as 'Angel'-like as possible.

"Morning?" Cordelia laughed, "That passed us by three hours ago. Something you'd be aware of if you hadn't spend the whole time down here in this dark, windowless den you call home." She'd already dumped the contents of the old coffee down the drain and was starting fresh, raising a silent eyebrow towards Wesley who had sat down across from Angelus in the same seat Spike had vacated hours ago in favour of trying his luck with Dru again. Wesley declined the offer for a cup with the shake of his head.

A moan from the sofa cut off whatever Cordelia might have said next. All heads turned in the direction of the sound, and Xander sat up groggily. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he blinked at the group assembled in the kitchen then flopped back down again, "Wake me when the girlfriend-from-hell is gone." he mumbled, earning a small smirk from Angelus. He quickly wiped it off his face though, when he realized that Angel probably wouldn't have been so amused at his mortal assistant's cost.

"I'm sorry," Cordelia smiled sweetly, "I thought she was the one still in Sunnydale."

Xander's head popped back up as he glared at his former girlfriend. "Hey, no dissing Anya. At least she has the excuse of being an ex-demon, what was your excuse?"

"You know," Wesley spoke up, standing and making his way to the fridge in an effort to stop the quibbling. "-I think I'm rather hungry. Left-over... um, blood... anyone?"

Trying not to glare at the gutless mortal, Angelus turned his attention away from the fight he much rather would have been watching.

"Yeah, I could do with a cup." Spike's voice answered as the blonde vampire came into sight and leaned against the doorframe. Cordelia and Wesley both jumped at the sound of his voice and spun around to glare at him.

"What is it with you vampires and the whole skulk in the darkness and freak people out thing?" Cordelia rolled her eyes with annoyance as Wesley recovered and started pulling out one of the blood bags.

"Gee, I have no idea... do you think it could possibly have anything to do with the fact that it's a good lead into the whole grabbing people for dinner thing?" Spike replied with a smirk as he took a seat at the table next to Angelus.

Cordelia raised an eyebrow at the younger vampire as she leaned back against the counter behind her, "Well then what's your excuse Mr. I-can't-'grab-people-for-dinner'- anymore?"

For a moment, it looked like Spike was going to say something in reply, but as he cast a sideways glance towards Angelus, he kept his mouth shut, accepting instead the cup of blood that Wesley had finished heating and was now handing him.

At the reminder of why it was that Spike was making nice with the Slayer and the rest of the mortals, Angelus felt his growing anger towards his childe dampen slightly. Angel's knowledge of how well Spike seemed to be getting along with enemy, combined with the sight of his childe carrying on like he was a part of the mortal slaying group was nearly enough to make Angelus want to stake his former hunting partner on the spot. But under the influence of that chip...

Still, the betrayal Spike had demonstrated with his first alliance with the Slayer would have to be dealt with. There was no Initiative, and no chip, influencing his actions then.

Of course, first Angelus would have to figure out how to remain in driver's seat of things. From the three previous opportunities he'd had to walk free again, he'd learned two valuable things: first, he could not try killing without jeopardizing his control - Angel would rebel unceasingly if he tried fatally attacking a mortal, and inevitably regain control; secondly, because the stupid soul was still there in the body with him, he could still easily fool everyone, apparently Spike included, into believing that he was still 'Angel.'

"I agree, that may be the best plan for now." Wesley was saying. "What do you think Angel?"

Bringing his mind back to the conversation Angelus looked around at the three faces looking at him expectantly. "Sorry, what was that?" he asked.

"You head back to Sunnydale with Spike and loser-boy over there, so it'll be easier for them to help you and watch you for Angelus-signs, and Wesley and I will hold the fort here." Cordelia re-capped.

Inwardly screaming 'no!,' he forced himself instead to nod, his mind trying unsuccessfully to think of a way out of that arrangement. The last thing he needed right now was to find himself dumped in the middle of the 'Scooby gang' and surrounded by stupid little brats who'd be constantly watching him for any erratic behaviour.

"Good. So you leave us your checkbook..." Cordelia started saying as Wesley rolled his eyes and dragged her back towards the lift.

"Have a safe trip Angel," the former Watcher threw over his shoulder as he nudged the young woman in his arms into the lift, "-take as long as you need, we wouldn't want to risk Angelus returning."

"No, we wouldn't want that at all." the dark-haired vampire muttered dryly as the two disappeared.

He continued to sit there fuming with Spike at the table for a minute longer, until Spike finally jarred him out of his thoughts. "What are we going to do with Dru? Leave her here? Bring her with us?"

Dru. He'd forgotten about Dru...

"You and Xander go ahead tonight as soon as it gets dark, I'll take care of Dru, then meet you in Sunnydale later." Angelus decided, a new plan forming.

With Drusilla with him, he just might be able to get around being found out... it would still be tricky, but maybe he'd be able to find a way to rid himself of that soul once and for all, before being discovered. Then it would just be a matter of reclaiming Spike, destroying the copies of the curse, and he'd be back for good.

Leaving Spike, he stood and made his way to the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Dru turned her head to look at him, the anger in her eyes dissolving to glee. He strode over to the bed quickly, placing a finger over her lips before she could call out to him.

"Shhhh." he grinned, "This is just our little secret." he informed her seriously. She nodded silently and he removed his finger, replacing it instead with his lips. "I'm gonna need your help soon, Dru." he murmured against her, before sitting up again. "Think you can help me get Spike back and destroy Buffy?"

She frowned up at him and shook her head, "Spike won't come back." she whispered with a trace of sadness.

Now it was Angelus' turn to frown. What did she mean he wouldn't come back? Of course he would come back. The boy might have wandered wayward a bit, but once he was reminded that his proper place was at his sire's side, chip or no chip, he'd return.

"He wants to stay with her." Dru continued, spitting the last word out with distaste. "He chose her over me, even after he was freed."

She couldn't possibly mean... Glancing between the vampiress and the closed door Angelus let her words sink in. Was she saying Spike was 'free' of the influence of the chip? Worse still, that despite that, he was still running around on Buffy's leash? Well... that changed things. Changed things considerably.

Growling softly, Angelus stood, it was all Buffy's fault, this whole mess. She made him feel human every time she looked at her feeble little Angel, and now she was tearing Spike from him too.

"Are we going to punish him?" Dru's quiet voice asked hopefully.

Glaring at her, Angelus nodded, ignoring her eager grin. Oh yeah, Spikey-boy was going to be punished alright, and so was Angel's little lady-love. They'd both pay.

Sitting back down on the edge of the bed, he looked back over at Dru, grabbing the tip of her chin to make sure he had her full attention. "Everyone's going to be punished," he assured her in a deadly voice, "-but we'll have to be patient first. For now, just remember that you have to keep this all a secret. Got it? A secret." he emphasized, watching as she solemnly nodded.

"I like secrets." she smiled as he released his hold on her and stood.

He gave her one last look before opening the door and leaving the room, satisfied that she would indeed be good to her word. Spike was still in the kitchen, absently staring at the cupboards, obviously caught up himself in some heavy thinking. Angelus glared at the errant vampire, and leaned against the doorframe. He'd been severely disappointed in his childe when he'd returned to find the younger vampire wheelchair- bound because of the Slayer, but the contempt that that had given rise to would have eventually passed. This on the other hand... this was simply unforgivable.

As much as it might pain him to do so, it was time to get rid of the boy - find someone else to fill that void that yearned for a childe, a partner, and possibly one day an equal. Closing his eyes and saying a silent good-bye, he hardened himself against Spike, then softened his features to a more 'Angel-like' countenance and moved to join the blonde at the table.

He had had such hopes for this one... too bad.

Buffy lay in bed, on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She suddenly wished she had've asked Willow to stay after all, instead of letting her best friend and confidante go off to spend the night at Giles to help Amy with the research. Willow's next exam wasn't until the following week now, so the young witch had offered to help Giles and Amy out a little more for the next little while. Unfortunately, Buffy was very desperately in need of someone to talk to.

Giles' words from the previous night were still echoing loudly through her mind, and as much as she wanted to deny it, she knew he was right. There was a chance - a depressingly good chance - that Spike would eventually succumb to whatever primal urge it was that drew him to blood and violence and death.

He could get off just fine slaying evil with her, and he could survive off the pigs blood, but she'd seen him struggle at times over the last four years with his inability to drain a human. Sometimes it had affected him worse than others, especially for the first little while; they'd be returning from a patrol and he'd spot a lone human walking by them. He'd watch what was once his prey pass them by with a burning hunger and then remain in a crummy mood for nights on end until Buffy finally got fed up and picked a fight with him. She'd beat the crap out of him, he'd fight back uselessly until he nearly drove himself unconscious with the pain radiating through his skull, then he'd be fine for the next little while. He'd been much better the past year and a bit, almost as if he'd relented to the fact that he'd never get to kill again, but now that he knew he could...

A dull ache from her Slayer-sense brought Buffy back to the present and she almost smiled with the recognition that followed - Spike was heading this way... When exactly it was that she'd become sensitive enough to actually distinguish his specific presence, as she could with Angel, she didn't know, but it was strangely comforting to be able to do so.

Closing her eyes as she feigned sleep, she listened as the door to the dorm room opened and someone slipped in. The body moved towards her and sat down on the edge of her bed. Buffy willed herself to focus on her breathing as she always did when he came, knowing that he'd probably be sensitive enough to hear anything abnormal in her reactions. Her heart rate and breathing under control, she focused her senses on what Spike might be doing.

A hand reached out, and familiarly cool fingers brushed across her forehead along her hairline as a small sigh sounded. It took a minute to realize that it hadn't been her who'd sighed.

"What is it you've done to me?" Spike's voice asked her quietly, before he started chuckling softly. Still she refrained from reacting - he'd never spoken to her before - would he keep going?

The bed shifted, and she was so sure that he was going to get up and head for the chair that she couldn't stop the slight gasp that escaped her mouth as he stretched out beside her instead. He froze. She popped one eye open and glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

He was lying on his side, propping himself up in his elbow, facing her...

"Alright, pet, how long have you been awake?" he asked, not moving to get up but looking a little surprised and embarrassed.

"Um... just now?" Buffy answered, unconsciously licking her lips as she turned onto her side to face him.

They both stared at each other in silence for a minute, silent waves of desire sparking between them. Yet neither made a single move. Finally Spike swallowed and averted his eyes, "I... should probably get going."

Buffy reached out to stop him before he could even sit up though and their eyes locked again. There was a heated desire and a slight hope there that she knew probably mirrored her own, but she suddenly didn't know what she should say or do, Giles' warning and all her common sense still pounding through her skull, despite the longing in her heart that just wanted to yield herself to him here and now.

He looked at her expectantly as he remained where he was, and she suddenly realized she had to do something... say something... unfortunately the only thing other than 'kiss me' that was coursing through her mind was, "Giles doesn't think you can stop killing... is that true?" She couldn't believe she'd just blurted it out like that, and from the way the mood seemed to disintegrate like a combusting vampire, she wished she had've gone with her first thought.

"I don't think I'll last forever like this..." Spike answered, sitting up and staring away from her and out her window, "...but I can still control it for now."

A small cloud of depression overtook her at his confirmation, until another thought struck her, "Yeah, but I won't live forever, so this could still work... right?" she realized with relief, until she thought about what exactly she had just said. She was destined to die earlier than most, and that had suddenly become a good thing? -And what about Spike? As soon as she was dead, he was some other Slayer's problem, so let her enjoy his... calmer... moments?

The look he shot her was unreadable, "This?" he repeated, was that hope in his voice? A touch of anger? A trace of fear? A glimpse at...

Looking away, he stood and headed for the door pausing with his had still on the knob, "This... deal," he emphasized without looking at her, "... will work for a while yet, and I won't stick around if I..." he trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished, though both knew what he had been going to say. He'd leave if he started feeling an uncontrollable urge to start killing again.

He opened the door and slipped out, before Buffy could get anything else out and she closed her eyes and pounded her fist against her forehead. Right. This 'deal'... what 'this' had she been thinking of?

Spike's mind was a whirl as he blindly sat himself down on the park bench on campus less than a block from the Slayer's dorm room. Leaning forward on his elbows, he buried his face in his hands. Stupid. He was so Stupid.

A - he should have just shoved her down and claimed her lips instead of staring at her like some clueless prick who'd never seen a female before let alone kissed one.

B - he should have gotten up and left the second he answered her question about his ability to control his bloodlust.

C - 'This... deal'. Of course this bloody deal! What other 'this' would she have been talking about?? 'This' them? Ha! There was no them, there'd never be a them no matter how much either of them might want it, how much they might want each other, how much they might love each other!

Sitting up again, he shook his head. Love each other? Okay, problem number one: they did not love each other. He loved her, yes, but she - shaking his head yet again, he got up and started pacing, no - she loved him, but.... no....

A hand fell on his shoulder suddenly, and he growled and spun around, then nearly tripped over his own feet. He loved her?

Regaining his balance, he tried to focus on the familiar figure standing in front of him but his mind kept drifting back to Buffy. He... loved her. That couldn't be right, he... respected her. He cared for her... he... damn! He loved her.

The only thought that registered in his brain about the person standing there with him was that he was not a threat. Spike sat back down on the bench behind him in shock. He loved his blood enemy. He loved the Slayer. He loved... Buffy.

He was about ready to jump back to his feet and storm back into her room to vividly demonstrate this newfound piece of knowledge when another thought struck him and left him rooted to place; it was a doomed love. The Slayer had said so herself earlier; she was destined to die young... younger than most humans anyways - and there was no way he'd settle for anything less than forever if he was going to let himself actually love again.

Snorting, he shook his head. Just how exactly was he supposed to not 'let' himself fall in love, when he'd already sped right past the point where he had any control over it at all?

Concentrating, he tried retrieving his hatred for her, tried stirring that familiar contempt, tried picturing the contentment that had once filled him every time he'd envisioned her death at his hands. Too late, he realized his mistake with that last strategy.

Instead of calming him, instead of filling him with glee and satisfaction, an undeniable bubble of fear and horror burst within him as the thousand deaths he'd planned for her replayed themselves before him - only instead of him doing the deed, he was watching helplessly while some other acted them out: Angelus, Dru, nameless/faceless demons of all sorts.

Leaning back on the bench, he let his head fall back until he was gazing sightlessly up at the hazy sky. He was screwed. He was beyond all hope, and he was setting himself up for a huge fall. Again.

Why was it that he always seemed to find the ones he'd never be able to truly have? He'd loved Angelus once; learned from him, admired him, believed them to be inseparable at one time... yet Angelus had left him; quickly, quietly and almost without a trace.

He'd loved Dru too; cared for her, worshipped her, healed her; yet another he'd foolishly believed he'd be with forever... how quickly and thoughtlessly had she turned from him though?

Now here he was doing it again. He was either the unluckiest vampire to ever walk this earth, or the most foolish. A Slayer. He'd fallen in love with a Slayer; not only was she destined to live a short life, she was also *the* enemy of just about every demon around. Him included.

There was no way this would work between them. He didn't want this to work between them - because there was no way he wanted to love her only to lose her before they even started discovering each other. How selfish that may be of him, he didn't rightly care - he was not going to get burned again. If he ignored this love long enough, it was bound to eventually die...

"SPIKE?" a voice called out loudly, giving his shoulders a shake.

Turning to face the individual he'd completely forgotten was even there with him, Spike blinked in surprise as he finally registered the identity of his mystery companion: Angel. Angel who loved Buffy with an undying devotion. Angel who would love Buffy long after she was dead and gone and the human race had completely obliterated their planet and wiped themselves out. Angel who loved Buffy despite the knowledge of the price he'd eventually pay for that love, whether it be the release of Angelus, or her premature death... "How'd you do this, mate?"... Angel who would very happily tear him limb from limb should the older vampire ever catch wind of this insane love Spike was currently entertaining...

"Do what?" Angel asked, interrupting Spike's train of thought once again.

"Do..." Spike shut himself up as he looked up in horror. He'd said something... something he really shouldn't have said aloud in front of the self-designated protector of the Slayer. "Do... this..." Spike stammered, wracking his brain for an acceptable answer. "This... you know... uh, helping Bu-the Slayer...? Like you used to do?"

Angel studied him closely, seemingly peeling right through the weak lie and examining the real question that had been asked. "I fell in love with her." he finally answered, the emotion that that statement should have brought not quite reaching his eyes.

"Right." Spike nodded, standing, "You love her. She loves you. That's all good. The love thing..." He was ready to make a break for it so he could find someplace to re- collect himself when Angel grabbed a hold of his arm.

Again the older vampire stared down at him, and Spike had to force himself not to look away, not give in which would surely demonstrate some measure of guilt and do him in. Instead he forced himself to meet his sire's gaze, daring the dark-haired vampire to find...

"You... you... love her, don't you?" There was shock in the voice, and an underlining venom that promised punishment.

Spike laughed, unable for some reason to actually vocalize the denial that sprung to mind almost immediately. Pulling his arm free from Angel's grasp, he backed himself away, his laughter now bordering on hysteria, before turning and rushing off into the darkness. Oh, he was definitely screwed.

Angelus watched as Spike disappeared from sight, his initial rage at the discovery of this latest development giving way to bitter disappointment. He had truly lost his childe. Since his conversation with Dru earlier that day, he'd rationalized that a good beating might better help Spike regain perspective. But now... he shook his head as he turned to gaze at the darkened house that was Buffy's.

She would pay for this. It had to be her - she'd manipulated his souled version into falling in love with her, now she was weaving her disgusting magic on Spike too. Not that that excused Spike for being weak enough to succumb to her siren song... no, Spike was dead to him now, and Buffy...

A dark smile curled his lips as a sudden solution to this problem surfaced. He'd inevitably end up ceding control to Angel again... but the pain and suffering he could put everyone through first would be worth it.

Yes... Spike would pay, Buffy would pay, and Angel would be stuck with the burden of responsibility for it all. The slayerettes would be unable to finish Angel off, knowing that the poor ensouled vampire was not responsible for the actions of the demon, and Angelus would be free to resurface again the minute soul-boy let his guard down.

Whistling a jaunty tune, Angelus casually strolled off the campus. Things were definitely looking good, and when all was said and done he and Dru would figure out a way to banish the soul from this body once and for all.

Buffy walked quickly down the darkened streets, eager to finish her patrol so she could get over to Giles'. She finished her second final earlier that day, and was now clear until the following week, when she and Willow both had their final for 'Advanced Studies in Behaviour Modification'; a course in which both girls had had the privilege of using a very reluctant Spike for most of their research.

Spike.

Groaning, she wished she could just stop thinking about him. If last night was any indication, they obviously weren't going to be going anywhere with whatever it was that seemed to inexplicably exist between them.

On top of that, he still hadn't given any indication that he returned any of her feelings towards him. What if he just wanted to remain slaying partners? Maybe it wasn't even possible for a vampire to love a mortal... let alone a Slayer...

Sighing as she recalled all the many threats they had faced together over the years, Buffy relented to the fact that she'd definitely rather have him at her side on a purely platonic level, then not have him at all because she couldn't seem to keep her hormones and emotions in check.

He wasn't Angel in the least; he never spared her feelings, he never worried over whether she'd hold her own if they'd ever been forced to split up, on occasion he didn't even bother stepping in to help when he thought she'd be able to manage on her own. Granted, he'd hated her with a passion at the time, and probably wouldn't have been shedding many tears if she ever did slip up and find herself on the receiving end of a definite death blow, but he'd never let her down either.

Unlike fighting with Angel, or even Riley, she knew with a certainty that Spike was treating her as an equal on the battlefield. Not someone he needed to protect, not someone he was constantly looking over his shoulder at, not a pretty girl who just happened to be super-strong, fast and deadly.

She never realized how much she liked that until she'd experienced it though. She was after the Slayer, slaying was therefore her job - her "duty" - the one thing she'd truly been born to do. As nice as it was to be loved and cared for and watched over, she was in her element when she was fighting - and the freedom she'd felt fighting beside Spike was one she hadn't ever truly known.

When she was first called, there were times she'd fought alone - but she'd been to unsure of herself, fighting on instinct more than prowess. With her friends, she had to watch over them while fighting and couldn't usually give herself completely to that rhythm and potency that sang in her heart. With Angel and Riley, their feelings of protectiveness and need to prove their worth had also interfered with her discovery of that inner reconciliation between her body and her mind. Only once before had she really felt it, and she'd been so consumed by pain and guilt and betrayal that she'd barely even noticed. That had been when she'd faced off against Angelus during the whole Acathala threat, as he was cruelly pointing out that she was truly alone...

"Buffy!" Speak of the devil...

Slowing and turning around, she watched with mixed feelings as Angel jogged to catch up with her. The pain was never less upon seeing him, but somehow, this time, she felt more at peace than she normally did when they met.

He slowed as he caught up with her, standing there uncomfortably as if he was unsure if he should hug her or just leave his greeting at a hi, and she smiled warmly, opening her arms and moving towards him.

"We were kind of expecting to see you last night." she admitted, lingering perhaps a little longer in his embrace than she needed to.

"Yeah, I had a little run in with someone else last night..." Angel apologized, letting her go and reaching for her hand.

There was something a little off in his voice and demeanor, and a small warning bell went off in the back of Buffy's mind... "Any problems?" she asked worriedly, noticing that her close contact with Angel wasn't for once churning those familiar pangs of pain and love. Could she have managed to fall so in love with Spike that Angel just wasn't affecting her anymore? Not even Riley had been able to accomplish that...

"Not that kind of run in." Angel chuckled softly, a trace of something dark in his voice. Confused, Buffy stopped them and studied him carefully. "I ran into Spike."

An irrational flood of guilt washed over her... could he know? How could he possibly know? She was pretty sure Spike didn't even know... "Oh." she managed to muster, as she looked away and started walking again.

"I know what's going on between you two," he continued as he fell back into stride with her, she closed her eyes - did she have a neon sign on her forehead declaring her feelings towards the blonde vampire? First Willow, then Giles, now Angel... who'd be next? "-and I just wanted you to know that it's okay." he continued on, before she could even open her mouth in denial. She froze and stared up at him. It was okay? "I mean, I know he'll take good care of you... love you like I never cou-will be able to..." he trailed off, his voice tinged with false sincerity.

Her guilt amplified at the tone of his voice, knowing how hard it must have been for him to say that. Then reality reared itself again and a mild annoyance surged through her - it wasn't like she needed his permission to fall in love with someone else, or his stamp of approval. But before it could blossom into anger, something else clicked. He'd said Spike could love her.... he'd bumped into Spike last night... obviously the two had talked... did that mean Spike... no. No, she was just reading into the statement, hearing what she wanted to hear.

"Um, wow." Buffy breathed, trying to calm herself down again, "-thanks for the... blessing?" Angel shrugged slightly and nodded off down the street, looking slightly ill, Buffy caught the hint and continued on, "Well, I'm pretty much done for the night, I was just heading to Giles'..."

Angel nodded, "Yeah, let's get over there and find a way around this soul problem," he agreed. "The soul - my soul - losing control that is."

Leading the way, Buffy continued down the street, when a familiar vampire came staggering out into view before her. Frowning Buffy immediately prepared for a fight, Drusilla smiled past her at Angel... Drusilla, Angel... Turning to ask Angel how Dru had managed to get free when she was supposed to be locked up, Buffy realized too late what the problem was. Angelus was currently in control...

End of part 2

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