Spike

“I want her.

I could repeat that ten million times in my head and still, I cannot get bored with the sound of those words. In fact, it just gets worse.

Fucked up I tell you.

I wanted her since the day I saw her. Or the night…whatever. See, I’m even picking up on her way of speaking.

Stop looking at me like I’m going to eat you up. Oh wait, that’s right, I am. Since I can’t bite you, I’m going to use this nice little knife to cut your throat and drain your blood into that cup you see over there. Thank goodness Adam offered to snag you for me and in fact, he is going to be the one using this knife later. Not me. Because I cannot hurt a single, miserable human!

Anyway, as I was saying, I want her. She’s this irritating little bitch who stakes vampires like me, but leaves me alive so she can torture me with her stupid insults and the knowledge that I probably can never have her lovely body underneath mine.

You look disgusted. Hey, if I can kill you, I would, so don’t look like that. So I’m just going to continue with this. Fills the space you know, so much more polite, not that I actually care."

(pauses to take a swig from whisky bottle)

“She’s beautiful…you probably know her as a classmate or something. All blonde and golden and small…when she’s not sniping at me, she has this beautiful smile that she reserves only for her little boyfriend and her friends. Her smile could light up a room. I think that’s what drew me to her in the first place…she smiled at me once though. And I tasted her once. But it was all a spell…thank God…if he would listen to a demon.

I shan’t lie and say that I’ve never watched her secretly at night as she slept from outside her window. She looks so small and helpless…nothing like the killer she really is. She would hate hearing that, but she is a killer, whether she likes it or not. Only difference between her and me is that she kills the bad things. I like killing the good things.”

(takes another long draught)

“I’ve seen her cry. I’ve seen her weak. And every time I do, my undead heart for some reason, feels staked. There had been one time she was so upset after some encounter with that pillock…my sire I mean, that she had failed to notice a fledging about to jump on her and end her miserable life. I killed him.

Why the hell are you looking like that now? I’d rip your eyes out, chip or no chip.

You think I’m in love? With her? You must be mad.

Where did you get that ridiculous idea?

Oh look, Adam’s back…you better say your last prayer…”

Spike hiccuped and fell face flat onto the table. He didn’t stir again. The life size puppet in front of him never moved; it was Willow and Tara’s little subject for a spell.

Behind him, Buffy closed the door softly. She had come back as soon as she could from the Bronze when she had heard Willow’s plea to get rid of a drunken Spike from their room – and had heard the whole ‘conversation’ he had had with the puppet.

The fact that he wanted to feed, and someone had obviously supplied him with blood didn’t bother her. What bothered her were his words…if bothered could be the word used.

As she walked away, Buffy’s spirit lifted.

Now if she could be certain Riley would not make a scene when she broke up with him.

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