Any good site needs to have a good measure of humor thrown in. This list will be getting longer as the weeks pass.
| 1.She(mentally handicapped)couldn't help the physically handicapped(Spike). |
| 2.Two centuries old and still only owns three dresses. |
| 3.Those annoyingly vague visions. |
| 4.The demon fetish- Chaos demons, Fungus demons, My Dad the demon. (Good thing she wasn't around when Giles was turned into a demon.) |
| 5.She had no taste in floral arrangements. |
| 6.Couldn't wait to open her presents. |
| 7.Harmony was right, Dorkus is a better name. |
| 8.The whole "I have the mentality of a five year-old" thing. |
| 9.Sleeping with Dad |
| 10.Being so stupid she actually dumped Spike. |
| 1.All of the teachers have other jobs while they're teaching (Watcher, praying mantis, techno-pagan). |
| 2.Don't bother making friends with the Principal, he should be getting eaten anytime now. |
| 3.A silver cross is the best protection against those constant 'gang on PCP' incidents. |
| 4.Inviting the Mayor to speak at Graduation is a bad idea. |
| 5.Stay home on Parent/Teacher Night for your own safety. |
| 6.Guys with fangs are not the ideal men to take home to meet Mom. |
| 7.Never ever sign 'have a nice summer' in someone's yearbook. |
| 8.There won't be any snow days, but accept the constant demon-related calamity days. |
| 9.Boys, don't hit on that Buffy girl, it will get you killed (or transformed or beat-up). Girls, join Cordelia in making fun of that Buffy girl, you'll live longer (unless you're on the cheerleading squad). |
| 10.Just remember, in a few weeks you'll be either tan and in the best shape of your life from running from legions of darkness, or you'll be dead. Or undead, or transformed into a fish creature, or living in a puppet. . .(get the idea?) |
| 1.Both say exactly how they feel, all the time. |
| 2.Unnatural blondes need to stick together. |
| 3.All demon problems would from then on be solved by the simple application of violence. |
| 4.They're not related. (Spike/Dru, Angel/Dru, Angel/Darla) |
| 5.Together they are an unbeatable team(Becoming Part 2. Any objections?). |
| 6.Arguments full of snappy comebacks. |
| 7.Arguments settled by making out(You saw 'Something Blue.'). |
| 8.Constant arguments. |
| 9.The electricity between the two of them could light a city. |
| 10.They're just so darn cute. |
| 1.Wastes too much time choosing which color of black to wear. |
| 2.The tormented by inner demons thing is so overdone. |
| 3.Has those constant annoying Darla the Slut vampire flashbacks. |
| 4.His 'children' are just crawling out of the woodwork. |
| 5.Gave up on Buffy way too easily. |
| 6.We miss his evil alter ego, Angelus, who was much cooler. |
| 7.Too much time spent debating the consenquences of his actions. |
| 8.Fails to protect his friends even though every single week someone threatens them. |
| 9.Completely lacks interesting conversational skills(relies on Cordelia to provide). |
| 10.And yet is still forced to deliver the required meaning full speech of the week. |
| (Did I need to mention the endless brooding and the single facial expression?) |
| 1.Any visiting family from out of town a)tries to kill you or b)disappears mysteriously. |
| 2.The people you started kindergarten with has dwindled down from 200 to a whopping 10 by senior year. |
| 3.The graveyard and the Bronze are your two favorite hangouts. |
| 4.You consider Catherine Madison's cheerleading exploits a genuine piece of American History. |
| 5.On a stress scale of 1 to 10 (ten being the highest), the death of a fellow schoolmate rates a 3. |
| 6.Crosses are nailed above every door and window of your house. |
| 7.You check to make sure Mom's dates aren't wife-murdering robots. |
| 8.A family member or you yourself has grown one of the four F's: fangs, fins, feathers, or fur. |
| 9.The parents tell you to be extremely careful about who you invite in. |
| 10.Your name is Xander Harris. |
| 1.Ethan Rayne versus Willow: Old warlock and fledging witch duke it out. |
| 2.GI Joe Xander versus Riley: Who is the better commando? |
| 3.Anya versus Tara: The battle of the supporting actresses. |
| 4.Doyle versus Demon Giles: Can Bracken demon strength defeat Fyarl demon snot? |
| 5.The Initiative versus the Scourge: Which secret society goes home victorious and which goes home in bodybags? |
| 6.Cordelia versus Kate: Will psychic visions overcome police training? |
| 7.Wesley versus Maggie Walsh: Two not especially effective leaders resort to the fistcuffs. |
| 8.Harmony versus Drusilla: The fashion crazed takes on the mentally insane. |
| 9.Buffy versus 'The Wish' Buffy: Do scars really make one stronger? |
| 10.Spike versus Adam: Find out once and for all what is sharper, Spike's cheekbones or Adam's bone skewers. |
| 1.Second time may be the charm to die during an Ascension. (Anya). |
| 2.The call of the wild got you, and you need to embrace your innner wolf. (Oz) |
| 3.Drinking your girlfriend's blood was not a hot idea. (Angel). |
| 4.The Missus got staked by a spatula. (Lyle Gorch) |
| 5.Your parents lost all their money to the IRS. (Cordelia) |
| 6.Ripper beat you up, again. (Ethan Rayne) |
| 7.The Slayer stopped following your orders, and also you're a bad kisser. (Wesley) |
| 8.You made a deal with your mortal enemy and tried to kill your dad. (Spike) |
| 9.When you tried to take over the world, the Slayer kicked your butt. (All still living demons) |
| 10.The principal expelled you, you're wanted for murder, you've been thrown out of your house, and you just sent your boyfriend to Hell. (Buffy) |
| 1.Your first line is "I can take the Slayer" or something like it. |
| 2.You are cast as Demon #4, Vampire #6, or College Student #8. |
| 3.You're not on the opening credits. |
| 4.You plan on world domination after you take care of the pesky Slayer. |
| 5.You're the college student that gets to walk alone after dark in the graveyard. |
| 6.You get your lines on a wipe-off board reading "Demon of the Week." |
| 7.Your costume was last seen the previous episode (without you) and will be seen in next episode (also without you). |
| 8.You are Giles's girlfriend. |
| 9.You challenge Buffy to single combat. |
| 10.Your final line is something like, "Slayer, you can never kill me! I'm invincibl-" *poof* |
| 1.Ethan Rayne joins the Cult of Order and Goodness. |
| 2.Willow finds her true calling as a stand-up comedian. |
| 3.Cordelia with a British accent. |
| 4.The Dingos hit the big-time. |
| 5.Sunnydale ruled by the forces of evil for a time longer than two episodes. |
| 6.Xander plays the guitar at a cafe or the Bronze. |
| 7.Faith discovers the joys of pastel colors. |
| 8.Buffy loses a limb while fighting. |
| 9.A free 'kisses' booth started up by Spike. |
| 10.Four Words: Rupert Giles - Porn Star. |
| 1.Sex with someone you actually love is a big no-no. |
| 2.The chances of finding that someone you love are good since you'll be around forever. |
| 3.You will constantly meet beautiful people that you could easily love, all the time. |
| 4.Drugs or other performance enhancing substances are also off-limits. |
| 5.Your allies hate you because you're a little too evil. |
| 6.Your enemies hate you because you're a goody-goody. |
| 7.There is a whole eternity for you to brood. |
| 8.The unending guilt trip is a killer (literally). |
| 9.You can never ever eat you favorite meal. |
| 10.The Mr. Hyde side of your personality still gets to wear much cooler clothes than you. |
| 1Harmony made due with a life without mirrors. (Harsh Light of Day) |
| 2.Willow finally moved something a little bigger than a pencil, a pop machine. (Hush) |
| 3.Xander learned about the evils of drinking. (Beer Bad) |
| 4.Joyce lived in a wall. (Restless) |
| 5.Spike proved he could hurt people without violence. (Yoko Factor) |
| 6.Oz controlled the wolf, as long as Willow wasn't there. (New Moon Rising) |
| 7.Giles sang in the show as Giles, not just in the background music. (Where the Wild Things Are) |
| 8.Faith did a great job of screwing up everyone's life. (This Year's Girl/Who Are You) |
| 9.Buffy admitted Riley took up way too much of her time. (Primeval) |
| 10.Spike and Buffy kissage. (Something Blue) |
| 1.He lacks personality. |
| 2.He has no interesting dialogue. |
| 3.He completely fails to notice the obvious. (What? Was the Initiative bad?) |
| 4.He is so slow. (Wake up! Your girlfriend's the Slayer!) |
| 5.He actually believes he could beat up Angel. |
| 6.He abandons his friends, job, life, and career for a girl he's known like 4 months. |
| 7.He has one of the most boring, unoriginal, uninteresting names ever. |
| 8.He needs a new haircut STAT. |
| 9.He is just so damn dull. |
| 10.He stands in the way of a Buffy/Spike 'ship. |
| 1.The cheerleaders’ almost 80’s hair and uniforms. Bodysuits what? |
| 2.Ben Affleck, betcha didn't know he was a basketball player. |
| 3.One of my favorite training sequences of all time, in part because of the music. |
| 4.Almost anything that the guidance counselor said. |
| 5.A chance to watch Hilary Swank before she was the Next Karate Kid. |
| 6.The basketball coach’s pep talks. |
| 7.David Arquette’s Cowardly Lion impression. |
| 8.The knowledge that Seth Green struck it lucky by having his scene cut. |
| 9.Luke Perry making stakes out of snow scrapers (in Southern California?) |
| 10.Watching Paul Reubens die and die and die and die and die. |
| 1.Your closet is overflowing with stiletto heels - and you aren't married . |
| 2.Somehow you keep missing time. |
| 3.The Slayer and friends have trashed your apartment a few times, but still don't know you live there. |
| 4.Someone likes bubblebath - and it's not you. |
| 5.The trashy red lingerie you woke up in. |
| 6.Your hair brush is full of hair that isn't yours. |
| 7.A bunch of stange knights wander around hoping to kill you. |
| 8.You wake to find you have just sucked the sanity out of someone's head, again. |
| 9.The little hench-demons tell you so. |
| 10.You are immortal and should have figured it out by now. |
| 1.You insulted her clothes. |
| 2.Your name is difficult to pronounce, but fun to shorten. |
| 3.You thought you could open the Hellmouth. |
| 4.You harmed a boyfriend by biting or shooting with an arrow. |
| 5.You told her that she was wrong and you were right. |
| 6.You tried to turn her to the Dark Side. |
| 7.You know your diabolical plan is flawless. |
| 8.You found really dorky minions. |
| 9.You have an extremely annoying accent. |
| 10.You are undead, but not named Angel, Spike, Drusilla, or Harmony. |