CROSSED OVER
By: Joe and Branden
Episode 3: New Friends and Roommates are made
Joe: Hello and welcome to episode 3 of Crossed over. Me and Branden here have been working none stop on this episode...Mostly Branden any ways.
Branden: (Shivering with a cup of coffee in his hand) I haven't slept for five days.
Joe: Five days!
Branden: (His right eye now twice its size and his left eye twitching) Yes, five days and feel great as long as I have my coffee (Takes a giant gulp)...Hehehehehehe...
Joe: ...Uh...Dude, maybe you should put down the coffee and...Read a book, it will calm your nerves better.
Branden: (Throws coffee to the ground) Great idea, I'll go do that now (Runs to the library).
Joe: Great, now as I was about to say...
Branden: (Interrupts) JOE, THE BOOKS ARE LAUGHING AT ME!
Joe: ...........What?
Branden: Yeah, not only that, but that damn toaster is cursing me out right now. I tried stabbing it with a fork but it just shocked me.
Joe: (Thinks to himself) Maybe it's time I put in a wheelbarrow and leave him at the front door of the nut house.
Branden: (Begins stomping on the toaster) FRY IN HELL DEMON SPAWN!
Joe: Hey that's a good toaster you're stomping to death there.
Branden: (Starts waving his arms franticly in the air) WHERE DID ALL THESE BIRDS COME FROM!
Joe: What birds?
Branden: THE BIRDS PECKING AT MY HEAD, TRYING TO GET TO MY CREAMY NOUGAT!
Joe: ............Okay........How would you like to go take a visit to the nut house?
Branden: (Stares at Joe) ........AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH, TREE LIZARD!
Joe: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
Branden: (Picks up a 50lb. Block of government blue cheese from 1968) You aren't getting my supply of nuts Mr. Lizard (Throws block of cheese at Joe).
Joe: DAMN IT (Is KO'd).
***********************************
When we last left our mentally challenged heroes, they were looking upon their certain death as Vegeta, Krillin, Piccolo and 18 set to fire their KI bombs at them. But before they die, I'm sure Skit has some intellectual and confidence inducing words for this event...
Skit: ...That's it, If I'm going to die I'm going to die happy (Pulls out a Playboy Magazine) OOO, they jiggle.
Megan: THIS IS HARDLY THE TIME TO BE READING THAT YOU DUMBASS!
Skit: What, if I'm going die I'm going out the way I want to be...Stiff. {Get it!}
Jason: Can I take a look?
Skit: Let me think, no.
Jason: Aw.
Kyle: Out of all the times, I have to wait till now to take a shit.
Vegeta: SHUT UP! I'D LIKE YOU TO LEAST BE SILENT WHEN I KILL YOU!
Krillin: Come on let's just kill them now before they run away.
Our Heroes: (Scream and run into each other at break neck speed).
The KI bombs are then launched and begin careening towards their targets. But our heroes are saved by Goku as he appears in front of them and knocks away the blasts with the back of his hand.
Our Heroes: WERE ALIVE...(Begin to realize that they are huddled up together)...AAAAHHHHH!... (Jump back away from each other in disgust).
Vegeta: KAKOROTTO! WHY DID YOU SAVE THEM?
Goku: Look, you can't just kill them, they're just kids...Or least let them explain themselves first.
Krillin: He has a point.
Piccolo + 18: Yeah I guess.
Vegeta: Fine, they have 2 minutes...If they don't explain themselves by then (Buts on a pink "Bad Man" apron, a red chef's hat and pulls out meat clever) I'm throwing more meat on the grill if you know what mean...Hehehehehehe.
Skit + Megan + Kyle: (Gulp hard)
Jason: Can I be medium rare? (Looks at the buffet) OOO, potato chips, don't mind if I do.
Vegeta: ....................................EXPLAIN NOW!
Skit: Well you see we come from another dimension where you guys are cartoon figures shown on the television whose lives are mostly planned out by a guy with a pencil.
Z warrriors: What?
Skit: It's true, we know everything about everyone of you and we have our t-shirts to back up our statement.
Vegeta: That's the biggest load of BS I've ever heard.
Kyle: (Blasting a huge duky [For those of you who are stupid, taking a shit]) Ahh, that was whooper.
Skit: Okay Vegeta, here's my proof (Turns to Goku) Goku, we know everything about Majin Buu.
Goku: WHAT...BUT HOW...I...
Skit: We know, you used the Dragonball's to erase everyone's memory about Majin Buu so Fat Buu over there can live his life in peace.
Goku: Amazing, you even know about the Dragonball's.
Skit: As for our T-shirts, look (Shows Goku his blue DBZ T-shirt with a picture of Super Sayain 3 Goku fighting Majin Buu) And look at my friends.
Jason: (Shows his red shirt of Vegeta at Super Sayain fighting perfect Cell).
Megan: (Shows her pink shirt of #18 standing in a fighting stance wearing a shirt that says Girl Power).
Kyle: (Shows his green shirt of Piccolo in full battle costume).
Goku: Wow, you guys are telling the truth.
Vegeta: I look dead sexy.
Piccolo: Screw that, I look even better.
Bulma: I don't believe you, where am I?
Skit: Jason, show her.
Jason: I don't want to.
Megan: Do it now.
Kyle: She's getting horny again.
Megan: (Punches Kyle into his own crap).
Jason: Okay (Pulls down pants and shows his boxers with Bulma's face all over them).
Skit: So does that mean you aren't going to eat us.
Vegeta: You've sparked my interest, but you better keep talking unless you want a steel pike up your ass.
Jason: I'm sure Megan would like that.
Megan: (Begins strangling Jason).
Goku: Should we...
Skit: Nah, she'll let go in a few minutes, but as I was saying...
And so Skit explained to the Z warriors about his world, how they got here and who they are...
Skit: My names Skit, That's not my real name, but my real name sucks so I came up with this name and I can explain the sunglasses I always wear...The truth is I just like to keep them on, not even my own father can remember what my eyes look like.
Jason: I'm Jason and I have a goatee.
Bulma: How old are you?
Jason: 14.
Bulma: Then how come you have a goatee?
Jason: ...I eat a bowl of fertilizer everyday.
Skit: That explains the vomiting.
Bulma:???
Megan: Don't mind him he's stupid, My names Megan, I'm the only one in this group that actually has a chance at going to college.
Kyle: That's only if you were in a cake wearing nothing but your underwear.
Megan: Oh, that's Kyle, he's just as stupid as Jason.
Kyle: I am...Hey, was that an insult.
Goku: Well, it's nice to meet you all, it's great to know we have fans out there, but tell me, why are you here?
Skit: We were hoping to actually meet you guys and...and...
Jason: Live with one of you.
Vegeta: What? Why the hell would we want you living around our houses? You'd probably rip up the couch and wet the rug.
Bulma: They're not dogs Vegeta, they're humans.
Vegeta: Same thing, the only difference is human's mate facing each other.
Megan: Well, actually Jason and Kyle have been known to tear up furniture once in awhile as well as chase cats and cars.
Kyle: I chased a truck one time.
Skit: Too bad you were right in front of it, you can't imagine how much trouble it was to get your head out of a flathead engine.
Kyle: I swallowed gasoline.
Skit: So how about it Goku, can one of us live with you?
Goku: Well, seeing is how you are one of my biggest fans, you can live with me and my family (Whispers to Skit) Besides, I need some one to straighten out my boys, they're not quite right if you take a look.
Gohan: (Crying behind a bush holding a picture of Videl) Oh Videl, why won't you go out with me.
Videl: (Appears behind Gohan) What did you say?
Gohan: (Face goes red as he hides the photo and sucks in his tears) Nothing...Hehehehehe, oh god I'm a dumbass.
Videl: (Gives Gohan a weird look and then slowly walks away).
Goku: The worst is Goten.
Goten: Hey Trunks, want to take a bath with me?
Trunks: Sure, let me get my dolls.
Skit: ...It looks like a lost cause, but I'm up for a challenge.
Goku: Great, you move in tonight.
Jason: (Looks at Vegeta) Can I live with you?
Vegeta: Hell no.
Bulma: Sure you can.
Vegeta: WOMEN, I JUST SAID HE COULDN'T LIVE WITH US!
Bulma: WHAT WAS THAT!
Vegeta: ...Nothing (Bows head in shame).
Jason: Damn, you're whipped.
Vegeta: Shut up.
Megan: So 18, can I live with you and Krillin.
18: Fine, only if you be Marron's babysitter.
Marron: (Appears out from behind 18's legs) Hi lady, I'm Marron.
Megan: Oh, she's so cute up close.
Krillin: Yeah, it is a nice dog.
Megan: That's not something a father should say to his daughter.
Krillin: I have a daughter?
Megan + 18: Idiot.
Krillin: What? What?
Piccolo: (Looks down at Kyle) Hell no, you aren't living with me.
Kyle: I can make pancakes.
Piccolo: I don't eat Dip Wad.
Kyle: I can clean your cape.
Piccolo: Leave me alone.
Kyle: (Embraces Piccolo's legs) Please, I want to live with you.
Piccolo: Get of my leg's you milky licker.
Kyle: Please, I'll bake cookies.
Piccolo: If I let you live with me, will you leave me the hell alone.
Kyle: Yes Ma'am.
Piccolo: Ma'am? Look, I'm 60% sure that I'm a man, but since I'm a namek, I don't really know.
Kyle: ...Can I still live with you?
Piccolo: Yeah.
Kyle: Ya!
Bulma: Alright everyone, now that this has all been settled...Let's party.
And so our 4 heroes party with the Z warriors, Skit and Kyle pigging out on the buffet with Fat Buu and Vegeta, Megan having girl talk with the Z women, Trunks and Goten...Oh god it's horrible...Taking a bath together in the outside Jacuzzi, and Jason showing the others how much gravy he can drink. But an hour later, our heroes begin to do what they usually do, something stupid...
Skit: (Holding an empty punch bowl) So, are you sure this won't cause any harm?
Jason: (A few cases of "Mikes Hard Lemonade" in his hands) Don't worry, I may have smuggled this from our world, but I'm sure it won't cause any harm.
Megan: (Watches as Jason pours the drink into the punch bowl) But won't the alcohol have an effect on them, I mean, they never had alcohol before.
Kyle: This stuff has very little alcohol content, they'll barely notice.
Skit: It's full, let's go serve it.
Once Skit sets down the punch bowl, he and the others gather behind a bush to watch what some ones reaction would be. For an hour they wait, but no one goes near it.
Skit: Damn it, its time we take action (Walks up to Goku and whispers in his ear).
Goku: Great idea (Scoops a glass of punch and taps the glass, getting everyone's attention) I'd like to propose a toast, to the death of evil Majin Buu and our new...Some what retarded friends.
Z warriors: Yeah (Grab cups, scoop in for punch and take a small sip....................Everyone but our heroes freeze instantly, their eyes bugged out and huge).
Skit: ...Um...Are you all okay.
Goku: ...............................(Begins slurring his words) T-T-Th-is...S-Stu-ff...Is...Damnnnnnnn...GOOD!
Skit: Um...Yeah...About tha...(Pick up by Goku).
Goku: WHERE'S MORE OF THIS DRINK?
Skit: In the punch bowl...In the punch bowl.
Krillin: TO THE PUNCH BOWL!
Z Warriors: YEAH! (Begin stampeding towards the punch bowl, trampling Skit, Megan, Kyle and Jason. Once there, they begin to drink cups full down with one gulp).
Skit: (Spits up teeth and blood) Nice idea ass monkey.
Jason: Hey, I'm sure everything will turn out okay.
Megan: I've got a shoe print on my face and who the hell wears spurs and cowboy boots.
Kyle: My kidney, they stepped on my kidney.
Skit: Kyle...That's your hand.
Kyle: Oh...Ow, they stepped on my hand.
Skit: Dumbass.
^ Five minutes later ^
Piccolo: (Dancing in his white underwear with a lamp shade over his head while singing a song) Y...M...C...A, IT'S FUN STAY AT THE...YMCAA...OH GOD I'M WASTED...MWHAHAHA!
Vegeta: (Very dizzy and walking in a zigzag formation) Women! Women! I feel happy, get over here and service me!
Bulma: (Her face painted like a clown for some reason and wearing her two piece bathing suit) YAY, LET'S GO! (Jumps in Vegeta's arms).
Vegeta: (His face now bright red) Damn! You're a lot heavier than I remember...Oh well, screw it, let's get it on (Runs into the house).
Goku + Krillin: (Dancing like idiots and doing the bump...But since Krillin is short, Goku's ass knocks Krillin head long into a pile of discarded soda cans).
Goku: (Still continues to dance stupidly and as he begins to do the Macarana, He swats Mr. Satan in the face, knocking him out instantly)...Hehehehehehehe...
Master Roshi: (Hitting on what he thinks is 18...But is actually a rotating fan blade) So...Mind if I give you a little kiss (Moves his lips in and is soon in incredible pain) AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...Damn, that was one bitchen kiss...(Falls over unconscious, his face scratched and gashed up).
Gohan: (Fast asleep with his head face first into the punch bowl...Bubbles forming in the liquid each time he snores)
Fat Buu: (Begins turning everything in sight into candy) AW, a squirrel...ZAP...Now a marshmallow...Hey, a doggy...ZAP...Now a chocolate...Hey Videl...Zap...Now a...............Oh shit! (Looks down on the ground to see Videl turned into a chocolate doll)........................Um...(Pushes the chocolate Videl doll into a bush with his foot and slowly begins to walk away while whistling).
18: (Painting Chi-Chi's face like a clowns...Her face painted like a clowns as well) There we...*Hiccup*...Go, a perfect make over...*Hiccup*...Ms. Bojangles.
Chi-Chi: I'm not Ms. Bojangles...I'm...(Stands and the background behind her changes to a bright orange with red flames) WONDER BITCH!
18: WOW...(Passes out).
Chi-Chi: (Begin's buzzing around, thinking that she is flying, while making "Whoosh!" sounds until she hits a tree).
Trunks: (In his underwear, mud wrestling with Goten) Hey Goten, how about we play a game of grab ass.
Goten: How do you play?
Trunks: We chase each other in a circle while trying to grab each others asses.
Goten: Sweet, let's do it (Begins chasing Trunks around in a circle while grabbing his ass).
Dende: (Fly on the magic carpet with Mr. Popo) Come on Mr. Popo, let's go run over some mimes.
Mr.Popo: (Wearing gangster gear) Then let's go chilling with the home boys and sing some rap songs...(Begins singing) West side...East side...
^ Meanwhile on the roof of Capsule Corp. ^
Skit: ...The drink won't do any harm Huh? Nice job dumbass.
Jason: Hey, don't worry, once the drink wears off they'll be back to normal. Until then (Pulls out a kazoo) I'll play a song on my Kazoo (Begins playing a Jewish Kazoo song).
Kyle: (Begins singing I'm a little teapot) I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle (Grabs his ass) here is my spout (Unbuckles his belt and goes to pull down his pants).
Skit + Megan: KEEP THEM ON!
Kyle: Okay (Pulls pants back up).
Megan: Thank god (Turns to Skit) So when do you think the alcohol will last in their bodies.
Skit: My guess is about a few more hours...Until then, we better make sure Goku doesn't find us and tries to crack are heads open to get what he thinks is a chewy caramel center.
Megan: Too late.
Goku: Mmm...Candy children.
Jason: (Pulls out a cup of drink) Here boy fetch!
Goku: YAY (Jumps for the cup once Jason throws it over the side of the roof).
Skit: Well...This going to be a long night.
**************************End of Episode 3*********************
Joe: Well, hope you enjoyed Episode 3...In Episode 4 our heroes move in with their new Z warrior family and the Evil that Cobort was talking about is finally revealed. As for my friend Branden...He'll be feeling better and ready to go to work again once he comes back from his vacation.
Branden: (Tied up in a straightjacket inside a Nut House)....Hello....I'm better now....Let me out...I have to take a crap....Hello....This thing itches.
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